lexdevil Reviews

Fukumimi (2003)

Mawkish comedy

[27 August 2004]

Lucky Ears is an initially engaging but ultimately frustrating romantic comedy. Starring Kankuro Kudo as the lad with the lucky lobes, a newly hired kitchen worker at a retirement home, Fukumimi also features the great Kunie Tanaka as a restless spirit who inhabits Kudo's body during the hapless youngster's first day on the job. The reason? Tanaka claims he has unfinished business to complete with a beautiful fellow retiree (Yoko Tsukasa from Samurai Rebellion and 70s disaster flick The Last Days of Planet Earth). Standing in his way are other elderly residents, including nutty naval vet Jiro Sakagami and an impossibly effeminate tranny played by kaiju eiga star Akira Takarada. Sounds wacky, right? Well, unfortunately, Lucky Ears is actually an overlong, awkward, and mawkish meditation on love and death that outlives its welcome after barely half an hour. The split personality scenes between Kudo and Tanaka are badly staged, and Kudo simply doesn't have the skills to portray two characters at the same time, though he's reasonably engaging in the film's early scenes. Tanaka brings undeserved gravitas to his role, but is burdened by a bad screenplay filled with platitudes and pious pronouncements on fate and life. Tsukasa is decent in a thankless role as the object of affection, and Shiho Takano serves as attractive love interest for Kudo (when his body ISN'T inhabited by Tanaka's spirit). In the final analysis, Fukumimi plays like an overlong made for television movie (and though the film apparently had a theatrical release, it WAS produced by Fuji TV)and will send most occidental viewers into a diabetic coma.

Classified X (2007 TV Movie)

Grumpy but endearing, in a way

[10 September 2003]

Melvin Van Peebles is never short on opinions. I'd find it a lot easier to accept them if he weren't responsible for the vastly overrated Sweet Sweetback's Baadassss Song (forgive me if I omitted any 'a's or 's's from the title) and cinematic atrocities such as the racist, sexist, and plain awful Identity Crisis. Nonetheless, this is a fascinating and frequently dead on documentary about Hollywood's treatment of African American filmmakers.

Suicide Fleet (1931)

Weak action comedy

[4/10 · 25 July 2003]

The threesome of Bill Boyd, Robert Armstrong, and James Gleason play Coney Island carnys vying for the hand of Ginger Rogers, a working gal who sells salt water taffy. With the outbreak of World War I, the threesome enlist and pursue Ginger from afar. The first half of this RKO Pathe production is hard going, with the three male leads chewing up the scenery with overcooked one-liners and 'snappy' dialogue that quickly grows tiresome. The second half concentrates on action sequences as the US Navy pursues both a German merchant cruiser and a U-boat. These sequences are lively and well-filmed, but overall this is an overlong and unsatisfying comedy-drama with a flat ending. For fans of the stars only.

Bollywood Bound (2002)

Not much to see here

[5/10 · 24 July 2003]

This is an inconsequential if mildly enjoyable look at a group of Canadian actors who try to relocate to India for Bollywood fame. Their travails are thoroughly predictable and their relative successes and failures unsurprising. Why didn't someone warn these kids that life is a lot harder than it looks in the fan mags and on the movie screens?

Lash of the Penitentes (1936)

Beyond criticism

[24 July 2003]

The Library of Congress print of this bizarre, apparently hybrid film clocks in at 45 minutes, so if you've seen a shorter version, you haven't seen the 'whole' film. Cobbled together from what appears to be three or possibly four different pieces of footage, The Penitente Murder Case (as the LC print is titled) outlines in bare detail the journey of a newspaperman into the barrens of New Mexico, where he stumbles upon a hardcore Catholic sect of peons who practice bizarre rites of self-flagellation. He hooks up with a cooperative local 'boy', Chico, who escorts him, unseen, to a number of secret rituals. At the end of the film the reporter is murdered so that the 'secret' of the sect stays within the local community.

The distinct sets of celluloid include some apparently silent footage, which appears to be real, of New Mexicans performing their Good Friday ceremonies (these segments were clearly shot at 16FPS); extremely bad hand held footage with enough pan shots to give anyone a headache; incredibly dull footage of the reporter and Chico standing around 'watching' the natives; and some ve ry fine dramatic footage that is clearly staged--especially good is the circular shot of the police interrogation at the end of the film. Credited director-cinematographer Roland Price was probably responsible for the character shots, but I can't imagine the man who also shot Marihuana: Weed With Roots In Hell and Son of Ingagi being capable of the 8 or so competent minutes in this film. Penitentes was apparently butchered by the Hays Office, but the extant footage is still pretty strong stuff, as the film features whipping, nudity, and crucifixion. Narrator Zelma Carroll flubs several lines and sounds like he was given a single take to record his unctuous overdubs. He also sounds like he was well lubricated for the task at hand.

This is truly a roadhouse classic, a film so strange and so ineptly made that I find it hard to criticize. Essential viewing.

Pussycat, Pussycat, I Love You (1970)

Oh, no, I don't!

[2/10 · 16 July 2003]

This dreadful sequel to the drecky 1965 hit What's New, Pussycat? is even more formless than the original film and is missing Tom Jones rendition of the title tune, making it unbearably hard going. Ian McShane is miscast miserably in a comic role and even reliable Severn Darden fails to elevate the substandard and plotless material, which revolves around his hair piece, a talking gorilla that loves McShane, and a wild assortment of fab late '60s fashions on the female cast members. This is one of those 'hip' period comedies that think linear narrative is unnecessary when you have a series of hilarious unrelated scenes patched together. Sadly, the only scenes here that remotely approach amusing are the ones of McShane getting mixed up in the shooting of a spaghetti western, a mere tenth of Pussycat Pussycat's interminable 100 minutes. Lalo Schifrin's intrusive score is one of his worst efforts. This is a film that deserves its obscurity.

The Running Man (1963)

No classic, but pleasantly diverting

[6/10 · 16 July 2003]

For those who resent paying their insurance premiums--and who amongst us doesn't--there is Carol Reed's The Running Man, not to be confused with the Arnold Schwarzinator film of the same name. The always dapper but much too thin Laurence Harvey stars as Rex Black, a professional pilot whose insurance claim is turned down by frosty Allan Cuthbertson due to coverage that expired two days prior to an accident. Enraged, Harvey and wife (played by an icily beautiful Lee Remick) launch a scheme to bilk the insurance company of a very large sum of money. Unfortunately, claims adjustor Alan Bates is on the job to complicate matters for the felonious couple. John Mortimer's screenplay is a bit flat and frankly unbelievable at times, but the superb cast more than makes up for it. The film, shot in colour and on location in Spain, looks gorgeous, but Encore is airing a pan-and-scan print that severely compromises the original Panavision framing. At least this print retains a widescreen credits sequence, which features some superb work by Bond main man Maurice Binder.

The Hunt (1997)

Damning but fair

[7/10 · 12 July 2003]

If you want to see the spoiled and wealthy of the English countryside hoist by their own petard, here's your film. Dutch director Niek Koppen was given unprecedented access to the operators of the Ludlow Hunt, one of scores of legal blood sports organisations in Britain. By withholding all narrative judgement, Koppen lets the hunters speak for themselves. Their bizarre belief that they are somehow protecting the countryside by engaging in their ritual killing game will soon convince you that they are out of touch and ultimately heading to their own personal knacker's yard. Their disgusting disloyalty to their hunting dogs--who get put down the instant they can no longer sniff out a fox or keep up with the pack--is the final proof that these people care little about animals, life, or anything other than dressing up for a day of eco-terrorism and drinking.

Awaara (1951)

Remarkable

[25 June 2003]

Awaara is a stunning example of full tilt filmmaking. Featuring superb (and appropriate) musical interludes by the Shankar-Jaikashan team, this film effortlessly blends a wide range of influences: noir, gothic horror, neo-realism, and the surrealism of Jean Cocteau all come into play. Raj Kapoor and Nargis are one of the finest screen couples of all time, equaling if not topping Jean-Louis Barrault and Arletty in Children of Paradise, another possible cinematic influence on Kapoor, who also directed. This is an exciting, moving, and unforgettable film.

Men Are Like That (1930)

Calling all insomniacs

[1/10 · 25 June 2003]

Men Are Like That is a buried 'treasure' best left interred. Clocking in at a brief 58 minutes, this would-be comedy stars unfunny stage actor Hal Skelly as an annoying husband who gets tangled up with the law and traffic cop Eugene Pallette. The cast is uniformly dull, bar Pallette, whose screen time is limited, and the film has no laughs, no drama, and no tears. A disaster all around.

Countess Perverse (1975)

Positively awful

[1/10 · 16 June 2003]

One loses hope and faith in mankind when presented with a film as completely and utterly dreadful as Les Croqueuses. One of the very worst Jess Franco efforts, this film is basically an unattributed remake of The Most Dangerous Game with nudity and hardcore inserts. Filled with the worst of Franco--overuse of the zoom lens, long boring sex scenes, and static set-ups--it is hard to understand how IMDb users could rate this so highly (two '9's, two '7's, two '6's, a '2', and my very generous '1'). For Franco or Howard Vernon completists only.