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Warm Bodies (2013)
Social commentary in comedic form
A romantic comedy about waking up from our self-induced social media comas. It all starts with the lead going along with the other zombies and... no, don't read or watch anything more today, don't even watch this nice movie.
Go see someone real, feel something real and do something real. It's either that, or keep being a zombie. See this movie if you want to find out what happens to you if you don't.
2001: A Space Odyssey (1968)
Shoving your hand down a blender...
...would be more pleasant than watching this pretentious entitled pile of faeces.
The five minutes worth seeing is still portrayed poorly. The fact that Clarke participated in this communal pissing on his book makes me want to cry.
This film makes the world a worse place.
Rust Creek (2018)
The pitch meeting for this title...
I can't take it anymore. Nobody participating in the decision to name this movie has a funny-bone.
Seriously, RUST CREEK?! And not a single quip about it in the movie. I'd settle for they having someone in a canoe and dropping their paddle.
A Simple Favor (2018)
Just paused 5 minutes in.
The two most under-appreciated actors (yes, i choose not to gender that word) ever, Anna Kendrick and Blake Lively in the same movie? They are barely introduced and i'm completely sold. The single possible improvement would be to throw in Amy Smart.
These two actors in these characters would have made "Crossroads" into a ten out of ten even without removing Britney Spears from the cast.
More spoiler-free than this isn't possible, so here you go the best movie of the year, i'll bet my legs on it.
The Predator (2018)
What was supposed to be a stupid action movie...
...did not disappoint.
I watched the original when i was exactly the right age; just before i was old enough to be allowed to see it. It was awesome, start to finish.
This one was exactly the same kind of stupid action to satisfy the kid in me; with just the right amount of humour added to satisfy the grown-up part of me.
Whoever was disappointed by this movie did not approach it with the right expectations.
It's entertainment - if you're not watching it to be entertained, that's wholly your problem, and you deserve to feel your time and money was wasted.
Andover (2017)
I'm confident that this had to be made...
...but in execution, it could have been a LOT better.
It's one of those movies where the whole plot depends on science, but the science itself is wholly unimportant, so thankfully they elected to leave it out. Lucky too, as they would have botched it utterly.
It's possible to enjoy this movie, watch out though, because it is dark. So very dark. In fact, both morally and ethically, this is a hot poker to the groin.
Also, if i misinterpreted this movie completely and it's actually a movie about how we trust white middle-aged men with a higher education too much, and forgive them too easily when they betray said trust - well, then i'm sorry. Contact me in this case - i will change the score to 10/10.
The Man from Earth: Holocene (2017)
A fair shot that just barely missed
First off, i'm a huge fan of the first film, having watched it at least ten times. (It's also a great audiobook, in my opinion, just don't watch the screen)
So, given the previous reviews here, i was bound to hate this sequel.
But, i didn't.
This is because i'm such a fan of timeless people stories, like Anne Rice's vampire stories (sure, the violence and sex can be fun too, but the real worth is the concept of living through the ages) or the series "forever" from 2014-2015.
If you like this particular niche as much as i; enough to be able to see past contrived plots and weak acting, you will find this movie a worthwhile experience.
The Good Dinosaur (2015)
Male feast
How come so many of these films intended for kids are close to all- male casts? This one has two WEAK female characters with minimal screen time. WHY? I always view the films i consider for my kids beforehand, because children the age that mine are are so very influenced by all cultural impressions, i want them to be influenced in a way that broadens their horizons, not limiting them. Thus, the films they see have to have a prominent female role to relate to; Were i do let them see this pile of dung, I'd be letting on influence intending to inspire my girls to step back and let the males have all the attention, initiative and intelligence.
Just, WHY does so many casts in this day and age seem inspired by ancient Greek theater?!