pantagruella Reviews

Head on a Plate (2023)

Aliens And Humans Interact

[9/10 · 25 December 2023]

I was horrified to see the low score assigned to this film.

There was real creativity and intention involved. The film took its time. How often do actors dress the part! How often does the camera allow the time to appreciate and enjoy.

We have distinct characters here, revealed more by observation than dialogue. I was impressed by the hungry nurse and her disordered patients.

Gory in some places. Does the film try to corrupt us into perversions of decapitation ands cannibalism.

Good use of sound and colour. Bold film making.

Distinct and original.

I found the leading actress very appealing and challenging. She reminded me of Donatella Versace. I also enjoyed the Gothic human character.

30 Days of Night (2007)

Stamina Until The Final Round

[9/10 · 7 June 2017]

A very satisfying film with a good location.

I like sheriff films exploring one man's responsibility for a community. Such films do show us something of a close-knit community. There is a positive attitude to people even in a horror film.

I usually prefer the slow build up in the first half of a film like 30 Days. I think film delivers in both halves.

The antagonists here are from the top drawer. Not people you want to meet in a dark alley even if you're armed with a pointed stick.

The film has a neat ending. It's of a kind you sometimes come across. The film Pumpkinhead comes to mine. Then there's the excellent Dust Devil.

There's a prequel and a sequel but they don't come close to this modern day myth.

Skyline (2010)

Exposed To The Alien

[10/10 · 7 June 2016]

The invasion of the Earth by aliens is a popular theme in films going back, at least, to the fifties. I can't think of a film that does it better than Skyline. It is a powerfully visual piece of work. You feel you would be tempted to watch the reality of this experience rather than cower behind the shades. In fact it reminds me of the awesome Judas Priest track Cathedral Spires.

The negative criticism of this film by most critics is phenomenal. I can't see the flaws that have been picked out. The film is a roller coaster with many great incidents that increasingly ramp up and ramp down.

The film is aware of what has gone before and nods to films such as Cloverfield and Independence Day. It goes further than most films in considering what is alien.

Many science-fiction films are really space operas, old Western tales given a high-tech background. This is a true sci-film. But not without its human heroics.

Dark Was the Night (2014)

Slow Slow Quick Quick Slow

[9/10 · 7 October 2015]

This film is right up my street. I like monster films and I like sheriff films.

From the start of the film we get the message of low budget and understated acting. That cold blue scheme suits my morbid nature. I liked the relentless chill of the colours. Later I woke up to the fact that there was a lot of clever and ambitious cinematography. There are some great shots just looking at the locale.

The two law enforcement officers consider the realistic possibilities and eventually turn to the crypto-zoology of North America. The idea of a hoofed biped is an interesting one with some history in lore. There was a famous case of the Devil's footprints in a wintry England in the 19th century. In that case they even had marks on the roofs. I also remember a short story by Basic Copper about a creature which left small prints but which was very powerful and savage.

The sheriff is weighed down by the loss of his son. Do we need that? Well, it helps to keep the tone sober at all times. There's not much relief from the growing threat.

The film makers handle their beastie very well. We start with just suggestions and possibilities. Like many a monster it is too fast to see until the time comes for us to see it. It doesn't disappoint when fully revealed and the film ends with a good punch.

Underground (I) (2011)

Down Among The Dead Men

[6/10 · 25 May 2015]

Eight young people flee from trouble at a disco and get stuck in an old military bunker hiding an abandoned black project. This film delivers according to the parameters of the synopsis.

There is some military experience amongst the trapped folk, some sanity, some reasoning. There are some good words in the script too.

The middle section is fast and furious when bad things turn up. As another reviewer mentioned the mood of very serious. You wouldn't bet on anyone making it out alive.

I can't find fault with any aspect of the film. They could easily rework this to be part of a sequel to Mad Max: Fury Road.

The moral of this story is that bad people perform bad experiments and it's not very nice to clean all that up.

Night Drive (I) (2010)

A Journey Into Darkest Africa

[7/10 · 30 March 2015]

Horror is a vast continent. This really is a very harsh trip that has it moments of repulsion and nausea.

There are sympathetic characters but the film doesn't reward them. Mainly it's about a bunch of crass, vacuous and duplicitous people finding out abruptly that you should check the political situation in a country before doing the tourist thing. The film teaches us that contempt for natives can backfire.

You may not identify with these tourists which makes it difficult to appreciate the journey they make. It took me three attempts to get past the sheer nastiness of what's on show to appreciate that the visitors really are in a dark place.

I don't mind Hollywood gloss but I'm chiefly at home with the B movies and the straight-to-video fair. I'm always looking for the silver lining to unpromising material. I can't find fault with the production values, the script or the acting. Of course there is a guy there you wouldn't want to be stuck in a lift with.

Brothers in Arms (2005)

Black Western

[10/10 · 16 January 2015]

I love bad movies. I specialise in bad movies It seems common to hear about the worst film ever made. Bad films are more elusive than you might imagine. This is far from being a bad film. I can hardly find an aspect of film-making in which it fails.

I'm not prepared to say how good it is. It takes me a while to warm to a film.

We have black protagonists. Is that the problem? Are they musicians? It doesn't matter. They do well.

You get a chance to see some fine support actors go through their paces. David Carradine, Raymond Cruz, Peter Green, Ed Lauter. These actors put the film on the radar of legitimate entertainment.

Western clichés are revisited and are freshened up more than a little.

The script seldom clunks. Characters are introduced and followed leading viewers to the climax, which is not formulaic.

I really hope this film climbs out of the bottom hundred in time. It is occupying much needed space belonging to another film.

The Hindenburg (1975)

Coming From A Different Direction

[8/10 · 17 February 2014]

I do not mind disaster movies but I'm uncomfortable with films based on real events. I've avoided this film for years and years.

My principal reason for finally watching almost all of it is George C Scott. My partiality for this actor comes from Exorcist III. I have seen him in other films and he seems to bring a great deal to any role he takes.

There were other names in the cast list that caught my eye, a young William Atherton, Burgess Meredith in near Penguin mode, Gig Young close to the end of his life and just before Game of Death, Charles Durning, as a captain an a half.

Some people said it was slow-going, that we all wanted to see the burning. No, not me. I enjoyed the slow journey across the Atlantic. An expert poster mentioned the great detail of the recreation of The Hindenberg. Without any knowledge I felt that I got a real feeling of that kind of travel. There's are even some brief lines that pin down what a remarkable way to travel it is or must have been. Those words come from the Countess.

The trickiest thing for me to explain is the handling of the German characters. The war ended nearly seventy years ago, but it still seems important for film-makers to demonise the Nazis to the maximum, even though we all know history is written by the victors. This film allows us to see some shades of difference between the German characters.

Ritter gets to distance himself from the Gestapo but also explains that he can't run away from his nation. I like the captain's polite interruption of the song mocking the Nazis.

Many posters have objected to the clunky script. This film is thirty- nine years old. The script seems interesting, more so than most incoherent expletive-filled scripts of the current decade.

It's a mild whodunit, I suppose. One poster mentions that the final discovery of the bomb is rather badly handled. But earlier in the film I thought the language of those trying to preserve the airship was rather crisp, thorough and pointed.

Dead Mary (2007 Video)

Mary Mary Quite Contrary

[9/10 · 3 July 2013]

I am sure this film disappointed a lot of people but it was right up my street, as we say. A group of young friends meeting death one by one in the woods is a cheap enough project. The strength here was in the slow naturalistic build and the good acting. You have time to work out the tensions within the group, aspects of their character, past history. The photography is good and lazy discourses should remind many of the days when time wasn't so precious. The induction of evil into the group is passed off quite smoothly. Thereafter there is a satisfying logic to the actions and reactions. I know some people are bothered by other Mary tales as if they are cheated out of something. There's no witch in Blair Witch and there's no Ripper in Ripper. Titles aren't labels on jam jars or guarantees. Some worried that this isn't Evil Dead but that's the last film I want to see.

Ghost Rider: Spirit of Vengeance (2011)

Unkind To Actors

[3/10 · 12 June 2013]

I want to make some general points about films like this. We don't expect a great deal and we'll probably watch the next one. The problem with such films is balance between opposing forces. For much of the film the supernatural hero is up against a hard-working mercenary who gets a boosts later on. Everyone else just falls over. That reminds me of Ultraviolet, a great film for watching people fall over. For a lesson in balancing forces, look at the hastily made 1974 film Enter The Streetfighter where you have a hierarchy of powerful characters, much like Top Trumps, and all introduced quickly and without much effort. There are some good visuals in Spirit of Vengeance. We'd regard the special effects department more if the other parts of the film were functioning. I feel sorry for Ciaran Hinds who was once Julius Caesar, an actor. I don't feel sorry for Christopher Lambert. He won't be tarnished by his part. The mythology is not deep enough for this character. Were any comic book people engaged in the project? A far better film of this type is the 2005 film Man-Thing.

Essential Killing (2010)

Agent Orange

[9/10 · 13 February 2013]

I don't have a lot to say about this excellent film. I do take issue with one reviewer who said that it was deadly serious. I was laughing for most of the journey. It's like a silent film with much slapstick. It's a brave film and I imagine they only showed it in about four cinemas. The same thing happened to Postal. What a world we live in! It might have been kinder for the hero to have been picked up by the Spanish Inquisition. I look forward to more films from the viewpoint of the Taliban and other naughty insurgents. They certainly have a tale to tell. This is a surprising film. I didn't expect it. The people behind it went to a lot of trouble. Photography is superb. Production values are high. Three cheers to everyone involved. But it is funny. Very funny.

The Creature Wasn't Nice (1981)

Shocker

[8/10 · 19 August 2012]

Do we spend our time being shocked by the ratings of films on the IMDb? I do. This film is splendid entertainment. I don't blame people for seeing things differently from me, but if you think this film is poor then you and I shall never live happily together.

This film isn't a bad film that is so bad it's good. This is a film that knows what it is doing. It's provided for us by a writer-director. Usually a good sign. The cast are having a great time with a sure understanding of their roles.

It's also not embarrassed to hang around. Some scenes are allowed to simmer.

It seems to be a direct parody of Alien. There are also signs of Dark Star. I'd say it prefigures Red Dwarf.

Hard Target (1993)

Shoot The Piegons

[13 July 2011]

I've just been reading a short and very favourable review of this film in a guide. I can't agree with it. I've seen it often and I don't recall it being particularly good at any phase despite the director's reputation. Van Damme has always had a problem looking like the best choice in most of his films. His martial arts stuff doesn't help him here. A hero without those skills would have worked better.

I am a great fan of Lance Henriksen but I do not like his piano-playing bark bark entrepreneur.

What I do like is Arnold Vosloo as the henchman. There's barely a minute for the Henriksen-Vosloo relationship based on professionalism, but it's the best part. Nothing else really works.

This is a variation of King Kong's sister film, The Most Dangerous Game. In that light, it's a failure. In modern terms, the best film that comes to mind where many well-organised hunters are trying to close down one man is First Blood.

Joy Ride 2: Dead Ahead (2008 Video)

Tumbling Dice

[13 July 2011]

Cheese is a matter of taste. Some people like strong Cheddar. You can even get seriously strong Cheddar. It's the same with skiing. Extreme skiing is not for everyone.

Extreme horror is not for me. I think many enthusiasts would regard this as being mild horror. Oh well, it's strong enough for me. Not really up my street. I prefer monsters and the supernatural, but this film is well-produced, well-acted and delivers the good.

The usual tradition with teen slasher films is that the teens are not very nice from the first and we perversely do not wish them well. Here, for a change, three of the people involved are eminently decent. There is an annoying character but he is the agent of the action. Fair play to him, he acted well through several different emotional situations.

The villain is appropriately sadistic. A kind of Johnny Cash, I would say, and everything Johnny Cash represents in my limited world view.

Production values good. A limited play set but the pieces are handled well.

Oh, the scene where the irritating Facebook guy doesn't want to do something is very good. That's where he's arguing that he doesn't want to buy something. I've been in that situation and the Joy Ride version is very true to life.

The Chaser (2008)

Stop Hitting Me Over The Head

[12 July 2011]

South Korea is my favourite film-making nation. They seem to blend eastern and western genres and then spice it up with plenty of originality.

I love Nowhere To Hide, and The Chaser has plenty say about running a great deal, especially up very steep streets.

My DVD case mentions OldBoy, the only one of the Vengeance trilogy I was able to watch the whole way through. I might add I wish that I had not watched OldBoy all the way through. Non importa.

The synopsis to this film put me off so did the beginning. I was very uncomfortable in many phases of the film. Definitely OldBoy and Audition territory.

However I link this film to Korea's Public Enemy more than any other. It's like a tragedy, but in reverse. Instead of a hero with just one flaw, it's about a deeply flawed human who attains something. Not redemption. But humanity.

This film is Shakesperean because it's got everything including comedy in the darkest places. It deserves full marks but I won't award them because I don't want a thousand films on this subject. One will do.

Boa (2001)

We Have Heard Of Alcatraz

[12 July 2011]

I have been thinking hard about films that aren't very good lately, trying to come up with some kind of thesis.

I am clear in my mind that this film is better than The Devil's Tomb. I was uncomfortable watching LL Cool J's forehead in that one. No such discomfort with New Alcatraz.

We know there are bad films out there, B movies, shelf fillers. Some people prefer such films to Oscar-worthy material. And we're not likely to confuse the one with the other.

I don't have sympathy with people who pick up a film likely to be awful, and then complain about it being awful.

The approach to bad film is an ironic one. You have to find its qualities through repeated watching. It requires more work from the viewer than a good film which can just be experienced.

1) Watch Dean Cain's emotional range when realises that he has lost someone close to him. 2) Consider everything that the two palaeontologists have to say about their science during the course of the film. 3) Admire Craig Wasson's use of the CCTV centre during all the various emergencies. 4) Bear in mind the prisoners from Con Air and then speculate on the nature of the villains in New Alcatraz. 5) Is this the only film to portray a half-decent Chechen? No check out the Russian film, War. 6) The Hall of Pillars is not bad, is it? They don't have that in The Devil's Tomb.

Hyperspace (1984)

Resource Result

[9/10 · 6 April 2011]

Some films become part of your life, they provide a vocabulary, inform your life, prevent you from going into business. This is one of the greats. It doesn't have to be defended, No excuses need to be offered. This is a superlative film.

The father of those kids is one of the greatest fathers. He's an every man. Someone we can all relate to.

The pest control hero who wants to get into management. That is a hero indeed, reluctant, but eventually pulls his weight.

The girl at the garage. She is lovely, a little hoarse, but quick-witted and spirited.

The UFO expert is enthused and informed. He is up against it with the local radio audience, but he has right on his side.

The couple that runs the bakery. They don't panic easily. I could taste one of those fritters now.

The car chase. One of the ten best in films.

The villain. Another great. Much better than john Travolta in the Punisher.

The funeral for the cow is a touching surprise in an all-action film.

The evocation of the simple pleasures of country life such as night fishing will always be with me.

The reference to King Lear as a man who takes crazy risks.

Whiteout (2009)

Moon On A Stick

[9/10 · 15 August 2010]

I am having problems with the critics of this film. What do they want? A moon on a stick. A film is set in Antarctica, the first film you think of is John Carpenter's The Thing. We know White Out is not going to be The Thing, but is an opportunity to revisit that territory, that isolation, those particular set of difficulties.

In terms of setting The Thing was one of Carpenter's best, but White Out does it better. Antarctica looks more threatening. The destructiveness to human tissue is more palpable. In fact there are related scenes where a central character is struggling to stay attached to the guide rope while the weather comes down and reduces visibility to inches. The White Out scene is more affective.

We have much more populated Antarctic base. People lead a privileged life in space age rooms and corridors. The equipment and facilities are sophisticated. At first we are reassured that Man has a better grip on this dangerous continent.

The characterisation is warm. The more personal face to face scenes are finessed well.

I cannot understand why people would choose to watch a film like this and then end up being disappointed. What were they expecting? What film of this type would have satisfied them? This is the opposite of a Michael Bay flash bang CGI overload film. It's more sedate. It's not trying to wake you up every ninety seconds.

They say Tarantino averages three films a day. I watch tons, especially in the sci-fi, mystery, suspense, chiller and thriller categories. I am convinced that this film is way above average.

Alien: Resurrection (1997)

Crew

[9/10 · 15 August 2010]

I've just read a fanzine review of this film which was quite swingeing. Someone else's comment was that the film was worthless.

This annoyed me though I don't know why I haven't learned by now.

One way to see the four films of the Alien series is that the Aliens are presented with different kinds of human opposition.

In Alien we have a competent but unprepared crew of a merchant ship. In Aliens we have space marines who are built up as ultimate hard men equipped with state-of-the-art fire power. In the unloved but worthy Alien 3 we have the opposite of the space marines, unarmed convicts. Most of them turn out to be British character actors. It is fun to slowly sort them out, identify them and see them throw harsh language at the beastie. In Resurrection, the main opposition for the Aliens is not the soldiers, but a motley group of pirates. The soldiers run away, but the pirates die hard.

The review that angered me said that this pirate crew did nothing. I think the contrary. If you know your film and your TV series, you will recognise all these guys, you will positively enjoy seeing them get as far as they get.

I am not a complete enthusiast for the film as whole, though it deserves plenty of credit. But I think this is one of the best crews in film. Most films haven't a clue how to present any kind of team so that each makes his mark. This crew is up there with the guys in Deep Rising, the gang in Game of Death, the team in Things To Do In Denver When You're Dead.

Cargo (2006)

Crew Cut

[9/10 · 8 August 2010]

This is a delight. I have seldom seen so much achieved with so little. What a crew! What accents! This reminds me of the Bill Hicks sketch where he recalls that Brits seldom have more than a soccer ball to threaten people with.

This German kid makes the big mistake of going to Africa outside of a World Cup event. Next the mistake of running out of funds. Falling foul of the militia. Losing his passport. And then the chance to get back to Europe on a cargo ship.

We, who like films, are always looking for little gems that slip through the Net. They are not put together by committee. They are not put together on someone's PC. Things don't blow up every five minutes. The hero does not dodge all the bullets sent his way.

One of the best captains I have seen.

Aliens vs. Predator: Requiem (2007)

Beams In My Eyes

[5 January 2010]

This film does reduce the prestige of the Alien series and the Predatpr series. There is a lot wrong with it. The film could still be enjoyed as a flawed B film. I would watch it again a few times because there are still some things I don't follow. However there are some things which offend my sensibility. Really. They prevent me from wanting to watch the film again. An isolated township surrounded by forestry. Good. I have known a community like that. Opportunity for some lush photography. What I object to is the extensive sewage system that the movie discovers. That drainage system is offensive. Then there are tramps living in the sewer rather than in the forest. I'd always prefer a forest to a sewerage. Do I see a Tesco's shopping trolley in that sewer? I also object to that sheriff. He is supposed to be confident at the beginning of the film, a representative of man's belief he can control things. But this sheriff is diffident from that start. Ed Lauter should have been that sheriff. Then they sent a unit of the National Guard in. They didn't last five minutes. But they didn't send in a more experienced unit. A unit of the National Guard failed and then the plan called for a nuclear clearance. No there should be a carefully orchestrated introduction of tougher and tougher military units.

Man in a Suitcase (1967–1968)

Born Under A Bad Sign

[10/10 · 29 December 2009]

Man in a Suitcase is a gem of a series. One series is all you get. Only thirty episodes. You will be wishing that somehow it had lasted longer. There can never be enough praise for the actor or the character he created. He gave it all he could, all he had, shackled by the constraints of an unprepared and inflexible British studio that did not know what they were dealing with. One feature is that McGill himself is so watchable in all his small actions and so few words. He is the guy who can make boredom look interesting. The recent DVD box set has an interview with Richard Bradford that is illuminating, especially to the fight scenes. I also recommend the GZR track, Man In A Suitcase, the Man in a Suitcase isn't like me and you. You can also hear plenty of that strange jazz music that often passed for the Swinging 60s in TV shows of the time.

The Big Sleep (1978)

Box of Roses

[8/10 · 16 November 2009]

Michael Winner doesn't have the best reputations as a director. It does seem like a crass act to switch Marlowe to London. I think Robert Mitchum has enough presence, humour and dignity to carry the film and it is a deliciously complicated plot. However my interest is in the many minor treats on the journey to the conclusion. Who wouldn't want to see Oliver Reed in his prime, a traditional British actor who was in his prime the day he died. Then there's Joan Collins working on her nails. There are many agreeable old cars, quaint Chelsea aspects and snaps of the Thames. I was reminded of the subversive humour of the Avengers especially with all that background jazz percussion. Some of the camera angles will indicate when the director was interested. I suppose this film is a lot more fun now than it was when it was released.

Murder on the Orient Express (1974)

Steam Train

[8/10 · 22 October 2009]

It's a shame the original journey is no longer available. They keep cutting the service. This is the best characterisation of Poirot I have seen. He reminds me of Mr Creosote from The Meaning of Life.

What a cast! I thought the old Princess showed how Gothic can be an effective look even in old age. A formidable German maid for her. Sean Connery in tweeds. Michael York looking like Errol Flynn. Colin Blakely was the Colm Meaney of the time.

A great send-off in Istanbul or Stamboul, looking at suspicious fruit, and the great family of man.

Poirot's many short conversations with the suspects are a valuable insight into the tricks of psychology. Plenty of lines in the dialogue could be useful in every day conversation.

A real sense of the train, lots of cuts to noisy, steamy rattlings and thunderings. Nostalgia. Trains were better then.

The Devil's Chair (II) (2007)

Sitting Comfortably

[9/10 · 20 October 2009]

I do not like this movie but I score it nine. It is horror. In many ways a modest film, limited, but it is very affective as horror. Surprisingly horror is an ambiguous term and horror fans look for different rewards from a film. My insight comes from reading short stories which end sharply leaving a bitter and worrying after taste. This film ends very disturbingly. Perhaps I wish I had never watched it. Perhaps my life would have been sweeter if I had never read H.P.Lovecraft. The different kinds of acting on display here might bother viewers, but I think the denouement justifies all. The setting is excellent. You wouldn't need better production values or more money for this film.