Ertzi Reviews

Good Night, and Good Luck. (2005)

A Strathairn showcase, during which you have to be sharp to understand everything that is being said

[7/10 · 8 August 2009]

I tried to watch this once without subtitles, but I quickly found it a bit too hard to follow, so I aborted and let the flick simmer, while waiting for the right opportunity. Finally the movie was on television here in Finland, so I soared in the air and went for my prey like a falcon. And I wasn't disappointed.

I normally do not like movies that take place in the 1940 - 1950s range, something about the era repels me. I can't say if it's the fashion, the cars or the fact that everyone smokes all the freaking time. However, in this flick the time period didn't hurt at all. If anything, it just added to the atmosphere.

This film is Strathairn's show, pure and simple. He makes this movie what it is, and it is pretty compelling just to watch him speak (with a cigarette in hand, of course). The fact that the film is black and white can prevent some people from enjoying it, but I didn't find that detail at all distracting. What I did found distracting were the musical montages, where the woman sings some hideous jazz songs. Hated those.

The movie is written and directed by George Clooney, who is by now emerging as one political son of a *female dog* to me. I always find it fascinating to follow political scheming in films, although in real life I couldn't care less. Go figure. One thing I find amusing though. Why is that dude from Twin Peaks always a tragic character? I guess he is just good at playing a somewhat damaged individual.

All in all, a very solid political drama, but one has to be interested in that sort of thing, as there is scarcely anything else than speech in the movie. Very fast and heavy speech, I might add.

Dragonball Evolution (2009)

Starts well... but utterly annihilates itself towards the end

[6/10 · 7 August 2009]

Yes, yes I know. Glutton for punishment and all that. But hey, how can I resist a movie that has freaking Spike in it! I was actually mucho surprised at first. This movie is pretty good in the beginning. The actors are practically all unknown, but the music, cinematography and even directing (mostly) are a lot better than one would expect in such a film. The best part is the charming hokeyness that permeates everything, which can't be accidental. Total tongue-in-cheek stuff. I actually laughed a couple of times. I attribute much of this to Stephen Chow, who is one of the producers. I always seem to like what he brings to the table.

To my additional surprise, I liked Justin Chatwin quite a lot. He seems to have a sort of LaBeuf-esquire likability. Goofy bugger, but you can't hate him. Two of the supporting actors were simply horrible, though, Chow Yun-Fat among them. Chewed scenery like it was going out of style. The other one everyone guesses when they see him. Jar Jar almost has a competitor now.

It always comes down to CGI with these not-made-with-a-huge-budget comic/graphic novel movies. They simply don't have the funds to make it look good. And yet they always cram as much special effects shots in there as they can. Stupid-asses. Although, I have a suspicion that some of the crappy-lookingness was intentional, for comedic effect.

Where the film really starts to suck mammoth balls is the last thirty minutes. Oh, boy what a crock of diarrhea. Throwing energy balls and flying is all good and fun for a while (only, not really), but I like my characters to settle their differences via the good ol' mano a mano fisticuffs. Cut the wires and get real fighters for the roles! But with some acting talent at least, mm-kay? So, this rating is basically awarded for the first half of the film, where everything is simpler and more fun. James Marsters is also criminally underused. He is Spike for cryin' out loud!

The Soloist (2009)

Oscar bait much?

[6/10 · 7 August 2009]

The Soloist is a decent movie, but it has one huge flaw. It tries way too much to win an Oscar. Someone should tell the director that heartstrings cannot be pulled by force.

There are two main reasons I wanted to check out this film, called Jamie and Robert. The two dudes give good performances, but I wouldn't expect nothing less from these guys. The problem was the narrative and the way it was presented.

There can only be so many classical music montages before they start to get old fast. Insert some doves in the mix, and you are fast treading into the corn territory. Additionally, I was interested in the contemporary versions of the characters, and when the movie suddenly started to throw lame flashbacks of the young Nathaniel in my face, I was underwhelmed.

All in all, as dramas go, there are many worse movies out there. However, I can't seem to shake the feeling of lost potential. This could have been a great piece of cinema with some minor changes. Heck, it probably still is for many people, just not me.

And hey, I recognized Esa-Pekka Salonen as the conductor of the orchestra scenes. Finland represent!

The Street Fighter (1974)

Way too outdated as a martial arts flick for my tastes

[5/10 · 7 August 2009]

Sonny Chiba is a legend in his own right I guess, but for some reason, to this day I had not seen any of his movies. It was time to remedy that situation, in the same vein uncle Argyle remedied the not-speaking-Latin conundrum of William Wallace.

If I had seen this movie in the seventies, I would have probably thought it was one of the best movies ever. Sadly, I have seen the future of martial arts films, and Tony Jaa is my guide to the promised land. I'm sorry to say that my taste is more refined nowadays. The action here is way too... intermittent. I don't like how the movements end abruptly, I fancy a more flowing style. The quirky codes of the fighters seem very outdated as well. "Your karate is inferior, I will kill you. But I will fight honorably using only my fists, even though several of my henchmen surround you with pistols. Let us begin." Funny stuff.

It feels like these Japanese movies were counter-programming for the Chinese kung fu cinema, or it could be that Japan was making these before China (useful sentence, right?). Whatever the case, they now have their own cult hero... Who makes lots of stupid faces. Seriously, he could be Jerry Lewis for all I know. And why on earth does this one dude call Chiba Darling throughout the film?! It is not his name. There is one awesome scene though, when Chiba does to a rapist-wannabe the exact thing I would do to them all. Satisfying much? Oh yes.

I will always extend more leniency to martial arts movies as far as my ratings go, so I will give this five stars, even though it makes absolutely no sense. There are lots of fights, but they are mostly mediocre. Definite bonus points for brutality, awesome theme song and a badass ending.

Manda Bala (Send a Bullet) (2007)

Depressing documentary

[6/10 · 7 August 2009]

Give me a second, while I'll go and scratch Brazil off my "places I would like to visit" list. There, all done. On with the review.

This is a documentary that does not enforce one's faith in humanity. In fact, now I just want to harm some politicians and kidnappers. I knew I was in for some depressing stuff when the text "this documentary cannot be shown in Brazil" hit the screen.

Brazil exports some sick MMA fighters, but it also seems to be a breeding ground for extremely obnoxious people. That would be the politicians and the criminals. The situation is so bad, that there are even booming industries for things like courses how to evade kidnappings, ear reconstruction and selling private helicopters (the rich like to fly over all the crap, where they can't be kidnapped). And the politicians mainly just collect cash in corrupt ways, and don't give a *act of having sex, slang term* about the poor folk.

There are 80 cops in Sao Paulo that specialize in kidnappings, and over 20 million inhabitants. You do the math (seriously, I suck at math). That's a lot of crime. There is actually a scene where kids play kidnappers and pretend to cut ears from one another, while laughing merrily. Aww, that's so sweet, the next crop is already coming along! The documentary itself is decent, but there is way to much filler crap, like showing frogs being killed. Who wants to see that? More hard facts would have been nice. The subject matter seems to be pretty important, though, so it's good someone decided to tackle this topic.

If you want to be depressed, by all means check out this bundle of joy!

Fast & Furious (2009)

This franchise definitely needed Vin

[6/10 · 7 August 2009]

Ever played a video game on acid? Neither have I, but it sure as hell would have to be pretty similar to watching this movie. Sometimes a blast, sometimes weird as heck, but always with lots of groovy colors.

I like the first FnF. It introduced fun characters and the cars were cool and all. The sequels had to be pretty lame, because this franchise is nothing without Vin. Walker could be cut in a heart beat, but not our good, role-playing friend Diesel (I believe he played a wizard). Even when the going is redonkulously over the top, he remains cool as hell. I like his overly calm hero type. Let's hope he doesn't do another children's movie after this.

There are a couple sweet nods to the first movie, which is always appreciated by us continuation prostitutes. Sequel must be a sequel, damn it! End chase almost ruins the movie, because it is such brain vomit it might actually make you go blind. But, there was enough of the fun times to give me strength to suffer through that debacle. Overall, a decent flick, but could have been tons better with a quality director.

And yeah, it was about time to have a Mustang in there!