Change Your Image
tomprobert666
Reviews
Tunnel Rats (2008)
to war we go!
People thought he could never do.. but he did and this is the best film he has made so far.
Uwe Boll the German director who has be come known for the creation of some of the worst films in history. And most of them were video game adaptations.
But maybe Postal was the beginning of a transformation. it wasn't a very good film but at least it had some very good bits. Far cry was better but still not great.
Tunnel Rats is good. though its not that great and still some visible cracks but at least its the cracks are not so wide. the dialogue is still full of problems but the plot is rather good. the action is intense and meaningful.
the film was even very moving at times. I wanted to find problems with the movie but found more good points rather than bad points. which is rare in a Uwe Boll film. many of the characters were still 2 Dimensional but the music,action,plot made up for many of the mistakes.
Some war films about Vietnam show the power of the American army, but this film at least shows the Americans being kicked about which I have only seen in Platoon.
Uwe Boll has made a film and it is not a bad film.
Alone in the Dark (2005)
God help us.....
Dungeons and Dragorns 1 is far better than this! With a comment like this you know the movie is trash since D&D 1 is utter trash.
The scroll at the beginning reading out the back story to the whole audience. fine I would have preferred some film scenes but OK. Then the story builds up, not great but OK, the pointless fight scene at the beginning could have been left out but fair enough. then the night scene when the power goes out and the characters are left in the dark. that was good and was even mildly scary. but a film is only scary when the monster is left in the dark until the climax. Uwe must have got bored because very soon the monster is revealed upon us which would have been OK but then the guns are brought out and this where the film is sadly destroyed.
the acting gets worse, the dialogue becomes unbearable and the story is left to root. The story is OK in the beginning but very soon a bucket full of new back stories are thrown into the mix making the story even more confusing.
I didn't watch the whole film, my brain shutdown about 46 minuets in and it become painful to watch.
I tried to skip onwards to the existing part of the film but that was as like watching paint dry. when the climax is boring the film has been wasted.
I have never any of the alone in the dark games but i have heard that the early games were very scary and were more like thrillers rather than action games and that the games were better than this wreak of a film.
Dungeons & Dragons: Wrath of the Dragon God (2005)
very strange it is........
it is beyond me how a very badly received film got a sequel made. I thought it wasn't possible but just look at BloodRayne II a sequel to a bad film and no.2 was even worse.
I only saw this film just to see if this was as bad as the first film. I was ready for the mistakes from the first film but was surprised to find that film was mildly entertaining. none of the stupid jokes from film 1 were included and seemed more like a fantasy film rather than an overblown joke. yes the film did still look tacky like the prequel and the dialogue did sound a bit cheesy at times, but the acting was better, the story line didn't move to the left, to the right, upside down or inside out so i was able to follow the film without shouting WHAT THE HELL! 6 or 7 times.
the CGI was much worse however but because I knew what was going on I didn't worry about the CGI (Terminator 1 had the very tacky Arnold dummy during the mirror scene and is the film bad? no). This film had none of the actors from no.1 (apart from Bruce Payne as Damodar) so I was reassured that the characters were not going to say or do something pointless.
The film was darker than no.1 which is good and far more serious which is also good but just like the first film too many people were placed in the shots so the scenes still felt overcrowded.
its not a good film but it is not a bad film. still it beats the D&D 1 ten times over.
Dungeons & Dragons (2000)
What the hell is this?!!!!!!
I ask this question a lot and this was the very thing i said when I saw this film. I never saw D&D when it came out back in 2000, but in 2002 i heard about it from a school friend who had asked me if I had seen this film. I had said no so 5 years later it found it in wikipedia's list of worst films. I wanted to see the mess for myself and i wasn't disappointed. The film is just terrible!
Here are some points:
1: the start: the start is OK but as soon as film kicks in it all goes wrong.
2: too many people in 1 shot. all the shots had far too many people so the film seems to be over crowed.
3: the dialogue is just trash.
4: The story is confusing, overly complicated and goes nowhere.
5: no one is trying to act properly and ones who try to act make this film look cheesy.
6: The effects and the CGI are just terrible.
7: Blue lips are not the colour of evil.
8: The evil side bears a logo very similar to the Bacardi logo.
9: the sets look just terrible.
10: the end is confusing and is worst part of the film.
11: the film is too light in tone.
12: what was the point of the film, HMMMMMM! i don't know! I have never played D&D, but i have played Hero Quest a which is a similar game and the quests lasted for a long time and ended with either half of the hero getting killed or all of the hero's getting killed.
The only part of the film that was any good was the thieves' guild scene and the death maze with Richard O'Brien doing a parody of his TV programme The Crystal Maze.
There was only one dungeon the hero's ever went in and it was very boring and very short. Ridley simply turns a corner and falls into a big room and finds the staff. (This is not A dungeon quest.)
Fantasy films are meant to be dark and interesting (e.g. The Lord of the Rings) and this is no where near dark or interesting. this film has the same effect like peter Jacksons masterpiece being remade by a group of college students. (it will never work so don't try it).
This is basically like a student film but it doesn't even go into that category.
the film is so bad i have made my own category for very bad films. it's called the BIN!