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Reviews
Cult (2013)
The cleverness is only surface
This is a TV-series called CULT which is about a mysterious TV-series which is also called CULT. A recursive TV-series, how clever is that? Actually, the series a bit too clever for its own good. It is cleverness without a cause. The writer just want to flash his cleverness in the viewers face.
At first, the series self-reference is just awesome, and sends your mind spinning. Even if the blatant exposure of cleverness is ever so pretentious, I have to admit that the cleverness is indeed very, very clever, hence my rating. But the gimmick eventually wears of, leaving behind a very bland show.
I love X-FILES, KOLCHAK, TWIN PEAKS and DOCTOR WHO. These series delivers characters that I wants to spend my time with. But CULT, like the series LOST, don't have anyone that I care about. The entire cast could die, it wouldn't bother me; the reason I watch those shows is not because they are entertaining, but that they keep my curiosity alive: The promise of this awesome, sparkling revelation.
In other words, CULT and LOST is all about the destination, not the ride itself. It is a bit like religion, which also promises that you'll get you reward when it is all over.
I just did a Google search to find out how LOST ends; if the ride itself is bland, why not take a shortcut?
Zero Dark Thirty (2012)
Torture can be ... boring
I looked around the movie theater. The audience was very 'ethnically homogeneous'. Only Danes. I could write about that in my review, I thought. But then two girls seated themselves. One of them wore a headscarf. The other girl wore no headscarf, but she had dark pigmentation.
The film begins with a series of desperate phone calls from WTC. Then it cuts directly to the film's first interrogation scene. The beautiful heroine is visibly shaken by watching the torture, but when she is offered to follow it at a distance through a monitor, she bravely refuse. Not only that, she also goes into the torture chamber without being masked. The male torturer humiliate the prisoner by dragging his pants down. A closeup of the face clearly shows how hard this is to watch for the poor female heroine. The torture victim exploits her weakness and asks her to make the torture end. She pulls herself together and explains to the prisoner - and to the audience - that he can get the torture to stop if he starts talking.
The heroine is what you might call a politically correct torturer; she tortures because she is ever so dedicated, and weeps afterwards.
To show who the baddies are, there is a suicide bomb going off at random intervals. The beautiful heroine can't have a cup of coffee at a café without it exploding, nor is it possible for her to get out of her driveway without suddenly being shot at. One could easily get the idea that the director have added yet another explosion each time the test audiences have complained about the movie being utterly boring. Explosions or not -- Zero Dark Twenty is really an exceptionally dull ride.
The film is mostly an office drama that focuses on the female protagonists status compared to that of her male colleagues. It's all very cliché. There were scattered giggles in the theater at the most corny one-liners. The movie even have that stupid scene where the heroine earns respect by shouting at her boss. It shows she have character, you know. Next time your boss is being stupid, try to screaming at him hysterically. You'll probably get a raise.
At the end of the film, the beautiful female torturer start crying again. While she was busy being all emotional, parts of the audience started to gather their stuff and heading for the exit. The two girls was among them. Most of the audience waited for the credits.
The film was over. There was the typical noise of coats being picked up and Coca Cola cups being crushed. A guy in the seat in front commented: "I just can't wait for the sequel!"
Orphan (2009)
There is something wrong with Orphan
I really liked the title sequence, and the mandatory twist ending was a cool one. However, the content between the title sequence and the ending was just uninspired. I had to turn the movie off several times, not because it was scary, but because it was irritating and predictable. One exception, though: the title sequence was okay. I know, I have already mentioned that, but I can't come up with much else that I liked, so I just mention the title sequence again: I liked the title sequence.
While the twist ending was good, it didn't have much connection with the rest of the movie. The ending could just as easily have been implemented in another story. In The Sixth Sense, the ending really made the entire story come together.
The movie is, obviously, about an evil child. The audience knows that. It is frustrating to wait one hour for character #1 to figures out that, by Golly, this is *indeed* an evil child, and then having character #2 deny it.
Some reviewers loves the film, which really baffles me. I don't have kids myself - I wonder if parents can relate better to this movie? If parenthood will ruin ones ability to distinguish between good and bad horror movies, it is obviously not worth it.
Goofy Goat (1931)
Strange and entertaining
This is one of those flicks where the animation is timed to fit to the music track. It is directed by Ted Eshbaugh from "Official Films". The movie is a fragmented flow of visual gags, dancing and violence, with just enough continuity to make the constant changes of focus unsettling. The movies distaste of story and consistency is clearly demonstrated when what we through was a main characters walks into the glee club. The movie cuts to the inside the house, but she's not there. She has simply disappeared from the movie.
In a sequence which really reminded me of a Jim Woodring comic, the film completely abandons the rules of the physical world by creating what IMDb.com describes as a "Anthropomorphic Musical Instrument". Before that, two pig-playing musicians were melted for no logical reason.
Actually, this cartoon is a bit trippy. I have ended up loving it, after repeated viewing.
District 9 (2009)
Surprisingly overrated
District 9 is a buddy movie about a human and a space alien. The human has prejudices against space aliens, which he has to overcome, and then they become best of friends. The human is a hysterical egocentric asshole in most of the movie. This makes it a bit hard to relate to him. The space alien, on the other hand, has no personality whatsoever.
The action? There is a lot of high-tech weapons. And people are shooting at each other. I find it boring, but some might like it. Some reviewers has criticized the movie for having too much gore. Which should be a good thing, right? I truly love gore, but the CGI blood in this movie is so uninspired that it hurts. Toribash clips on youtube have higher production value.
I don't mind that a story is predictable and linear. Tim Burtons movies are great, despite their uninspired story lines. However, District 9 has nothing to distract your attention from the lack of story.
So, this is a scifi-action-gore-buddy-movie, with main characters you don't care about, a stupid story line and boring action sequences.
Is that it?
No. They also tries to do social commentary! Not that there's anything wrong with movies about serious subjects. But when I want to deal with heavy stuff like apartheid or refugee camps, I don't want it to be in a cheap action flick.
At one point, the wife of the protagonist accuse him of having had sexual relations with a space alien! He denies it, arguing that they are far too disgusting for that.
One would assume that the space aliens would feel the same way about humans: That the humans would be too far from the space alien norm to be a likely lay. Not so. The space aliens are doing the nasty with human prostitutes. No, there's no footage. It sounds quite much like "Black Men are after our Women 2.0"
This would be cool in a Troma movie. But not in a movie that aims for social commentary.
Now to the positive side:
1) I love 'body horror' transformations. 2) The movie has lots of plot holes, and counting them would make watching it slightly interesting. 3) The space aliens are addicted to cat food!