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Reviews
French Erotica (1981)
Just so wrong
Although this film was a bit behind the times and out of its country of genre (the German schoolgirl/principal infatuation of the early 70s), it is equally as repulsive. It follows the misadventures of a girl who gets a poor report card and is grounded by her mother, a dead ringer for Jane Fonda of 9 to 5 fame. Her boyfriend, the repulsively moustashioed Teddy, who looks about twelve years her senior, comes over later that night, the two go for a roll in the hay, the mother walks in, shocked, and later has a chat with the female school guidance counselor. The mischevious girl is brought to the office and girl, counselor and principal (a smarmy and hairy old scumbag) have a romp.
Although the video does not take itself seriously and is purposely funny in a mischevious way, it is in no means a professional attempt. What looks like a one-camera production edited together with over the top 1980 transitions ("Okay, star-wipe to tape two") and no sound, save for a surprisingly good soundtrack that sounds like Air if they did porn music in 1980 (polymoog, electric piano). To give you an idea of the type of video this is, consider Boogie nights. In Boogie Nights, when Jack Horner mentions the new 'video tape' titles coming out that 'look like sh*t and sound like sh*t,' this is the s*it he was talking about. Don't waste your time on this video, unless you're a Seka completist or could use a good soundtrack to sample from. The reason why she would waste her time with the no-talent ass clowns involved with this effort and its sister titles still evades me, but it is so 1980. The forward-sounding music, fashions and hair are total 1980, but the supporting actors themselves are mediocre at best. It would seem that this video was more entertaining for its creators than anyone who would ever watch this garbage, but I want the mom's glasses, the large oval ones tinted pink at the top that take up half of the face. So single mother office worker 1980 with lots of limp penis.
Football Widow (1979)
Jack Horner would be repulsed
Football Widow follows the misadventures of a woman whose lecherous, repulsive husband becomes addicted to football and ignores her completely. After the wife breaks the TV, she gets it on with the repairman. Her husband still will pay her no mind, so she goes to Seka's house where she is poured a liberal drink and checks out the 'new Betamax.' Seka's husband and a friend are watching adult films, ostensibly old Arrow Film and Video titles, judging from the screen shots. They group, obviously aroused, wastes no time going for a roll in the hay.
Unfortunately, the video makes the downfall of pretending to be an artistic film. No amount of tasteless extreme close-ups or an ad nauseum use of slow-motion could save this piece. The shadowy lighting and the horrible soundtrack don't help either. In Boogie Nights, when Jack Horner mentions the new 'video tape' titles coming out that 'look like sh*t and sound like sh*t,' this is the s*it he was talking about. Don't waste your time on this video, unless you're a Seka completist. The reason why she would waste her time with the no-talent ass clowns involved with this effort and its sister titles still evades me.