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Everybody Loves Raymond (1996)
This show should've been renamed "Everybody Hates Raymond" for all the right reasons.
I really did not like this show at all when it first came out.
Whenever discussing "Everybody Loves Raymond", I always compare it to "The King of Queens". It seems that having a very crude couple and a mean father wasn't enough for this show. Instead, they needed to add a very cruel old lady, who plays as Raymond's mother and a depressing tall man, who plays as Raymond's brother.
Basically, what this show is all about is a guy, Raymond, played by Ray Romano, who's married with a very push-over wife, has three obnoxious kids, two very cruel parents and a depressing big brother.
"Everybody Loves Raymond" is all about a family made up of some of the most mean and selfish characters there are.
Let me begin, shall I:
1) Ray Romano as "Ray Barone": This show is ALL about Raymond, and not anybody else in his family. Raymond acts like such a whiner, always wanting to get what he wants, always wanting to get his way. It really was very sickening for me to have to sit and watch Raymond's mother tend to his every single little need. You know what, in a real family, one family member, it doesn't even matter if he's the youngest out of the children that the mother gave birth to, should not be able to get everything that he wants. It absolutely does NOT work that way at all. That's how he tries to be all smooth and heartwarming for people in his family to do nice things for him. What a baby!
2) Patricia Heaton as "Debra Barone": So, Debra is the name of Raymond's wife. She does the cooking and the cleaning around the house. It seems that in this show, Debra is always pushed around by Raymond and even by Raymond's mother. I can see now why Debra feels so miserable living across the street from Raymond's parents, because every single little second that there is, they just barge right in without even knocking on the door. I've always despised Debra on this show. She's all moody and sarcastic.
3) Doris Roberts as "Marie Barone": You might as well call this woman the red demon from Hell. Marie has absolutely no feelings for her family whatsoever, except for Raymond. She always does everything for him, leaving out his big brother because I guess mothers just like the little tender ones more. Marie is self-centered, egotistical, selfish and mean. She's always so pushy around everybody. She always gets on Debra's nerves, you can't do anything yourself, you have to have this old bag telling you exactly what you need to do. You know what, someone should just walk up to her, slap her in the face, and tell her simply to "Piss off!". That would've at least made me laugh.
4) Peter Boyle as "Frank Barone": Just like Marie, only this guy plays as the father of Raymond. Frank is another one who also doesn't care about anybody else in the family but himself. Whenever he walks into a room, he immediately sits down in the chair, turns on the TV, and constantly demands for food. He's lazy, mean and self-centered. All he does is lie around, get into a heated argument with Marie in almost every single episode, and, once again, beg for food. I really could not stand him on this show.
5) Brad Garrett as "Robert Barone": Raymond's big brother. Who the hell thinks a guy who speaks in a very deep voice is funny? On the other hand, I also felt kind of sorry for Robert on this show. Because it seems that he gets treated so differently from Raymond in a lot of ways. For example, the mother. The mother gives Raymond anything he wants and Robert gets nothing, Raymond is married and has children, and Robert has a lot of relationship troubles with different women and probably wants to have kids, but no, he just remains single, Raymond has a house of his own, and Robert is left out to fend for himself in a little, old rusty apartment with no food and no money. Even some of the good things that Robert does or gets, Raymond is anything but happy. What Raymond doesn't realize is that he's getting treated 50 times more nicer by his family than Robert is. Now, I'll admit, Robert is kind of dim-witted in some of the episodes, but he's still so much more smarter, stronger and kinder than Raymond is.
I could continue on explaining how terrible these people on this show were forever. I really don't know where people get such ideas for comedy shows like this. If you even count this as a comedy show or as a sitcom, then it's probably the worst comedy show and sitcom I've ever seen in my life, and that is one hell of an accomplishment.
The way that I would've liked to see it end, is if there was some kind of explosion that occurred in either Raymond's or Marie's house, and everyone would've just died right from there.
Well, thank God, this show has finally come to an end because I just couldn't wait for this show to be over and end its nine seasons. This show shouldn't even have been on the air for nine seasons, nor should it have received all the excessive praise it got either. I'm sorry, but I just did not like this show at all.
I also know that this comment will find its way all the way in the back because a lot of people will disagree with me, but I really don't care. "Everybody Loves Raymond", in my opinion, will and always be the worst sitcom that I have ever seen in my life.
Jaws: The Revenge (1987)
"Jaws: The Revenge" is the worst "shark movie" I've ever seen
Let me just say that this film has to be one of the most terrible and embarrassing films I've ever seen in my entire life.
The first "Jaws" movie that Steven Spielberg directed back in 1975 was an absolute classic, one which didn't even need any sequels to it whatsoever.
Although "Jaws 2" was a surprisingly good sequel and "Jaws 3-D" was a fairly okay sequel, "Jaws: The Revenge", this is a movie that shouldn't even have been made if it was going to be this terrible.
Though the beginning of the movie starts out pretty good, it slowly begins to go downhill right from there. I can see now why this film was nominated for so many Razzie awards because it most certainly deserved it.
Let me begin shall I:
- the actors: To be honest I was so disgusted to see Lorraine Gary reprise her role as "Ellen Brody". Her being in a movie like this made me never want to see another movie with her again. And then we get introduced by even more lame actors. Mario Van Peebles comes into this movie as an annoying fast-talking Jamacian freak. This is where the film takes place in: The Bahamas. They make the shark swim in warm water. Wow! What an accomplishment! NOT! Lastly, Michael Caine also stars in this movie. Now, let me ask a personal question, how is it that a great actor such as Michael Caine be put in cast of a really terrible movie like this? This film just had a lot of unnecessary actors who each gave a very poor performance in this film. Plus, it says here that Lorraine Gary had won a "Saturn Award" or something for "Best Supporting Actress". I don't know how the hell she managed to win an award for something like that being in a movie like this.
- the dialogue: The worst scripted movie I've ever listened to in my life. This "Jaws" movie is the only one in the series that's rated "PG-13". My guess is that it's because the writer felt that he needed everyone using the word, "s***", scene after scene, so that it would help make the movie more interesting and good. It absolutely didn't! The action was so slow-paced and there was hardly any suspense built up in this movie whatsoever. The dialogue was just awful, in every sense of the word.
- the special effects: The special effects in this "Jaws" movie weren't at all better or even improved since the last "Jaws" films. So, you mean to tell me that they made the shark stand on its tail and roar like a lion? In case the filmmakers didn't know, sharks do not even roar and they most certainly cannot stand up on their tails on water. The special effects really were dull and it was so obvious to tell that the shark was fake.
- the acting: The acting in this movie is probably one of the worst I've ever heard. Really, it's absolutely atrocious. I was so sick of having to hear that little girl, whatever her name was, Thea, singing and screaming almost half the time throughout the whole movie. I can understand that they're all on vacation and she wants to have a fun time, but you know what, when it comes to "Jaws", right when people see the shark swimming around, they should have to scream as if they're really scared. This girl, every time when I heard her scream, it sounded like she was screaming in a very hysterical manner, and that was just sad to see.
In conclusion,
This is one of the worst movies that I've ever seen in my entire life. Heck, on the back of the DVD case it says that it's a "suspense-packed thriller" and that it's "the scariest 'Jaws' of them all". Yeah? Well, that's complete bulls***! It is in no way, shape or form a suspense-packed thriller and it certainly isn't the scariest 'Jaws' movie of all time.
It's just like any other regular B-monster movie with poor actors, poor script and poor special effects. Only this one doesn't even show the shark most of the time, there's barely any action in this movie whatsoever, and not a lot of people get killed or eaten in it too. I've finished counting up exactly how many people actually get eaten by Jaws in this movie. The result is 2. How disappointing is that? That in the other "Jaws" films, more people got eaten by Jaws and in this one, the filmmakers made only 2 people get eaten by Jaws in a 1 hour and 31 minute film?
I don't even need to explain how terrifyingly bad this movie was any further. I think I've pretty much covered all of it up. If you're a fan of the first "Jaws" movie, I would recommend avoiding watching this poor excuse of a sequel. Trust me, it's totally not worth it.
With all of that said, I give "Jaws: The Revenge",
1 star out of 10.
Mario Party 2 (1999)
One of the best Nintendo 64 games I've ever played.
Mario Party 2 is an extraordinary game for the N64. You get to play as either Mario, Luigi, Peach, Yoshi, Wario or Donkey Kong and get to play in all kinds of lands. There, you play a lot of 4-player, 1 vs. 3-player and 2 vs. 2-player minigames, earn coins, stars and in the end, the player who's gotten the most stars in the land becomes the superstar and defeats Bowser.
- the graphics in the game, in my opinion, were very good. The lands look breathtaking and the minigames, battle minigames and duel minigames were all top-notch.
- the music in the game, in my opinion, was also very good. I like how in the Options Laboratory you can listen to various sounds and music from the lands you've played in and the characters you've played as.
- the controls in the game, in my opinion, were good as well. They weren't difficult to handle at all and if you press the START button during a game, they tell you what the controls for the minigame you're playing are and what buttons you use to play that minigame.
- the gameplay in the game, in my opinion, was very, very good. I like how you get to pick your own item of choice, use it, be able to steal another person's item with it (a.k.a.: the Plunder Chest), get all the coin deposits from the Koopa Banks, ask Boo to steal someone's stars or coins for you, go in trains, get stars from Toad, and open doors and other gates with it too (a.k.a.: the Skeleton Key).
- the voice acting in the game, in my opinion, was very good also. Everyone's voice was very funny when they either lost a certain amount of coins or fell from a great height in some of the minigames (a.k.a.: Bobsled Run and Platform Peril), and even got burned in some of the minigames as well (a.k.a.: Hot Rope Jump and Dungeon Dash).
This game just never gets old. It was still playable then and it's still playable now. If you're a fan of the 'Mario Party' game franchise, then I would strongly recommend this game to you. I guarantee you're gonna love it!
With all of that said, I give, "Mario Party 2",
a perfect 10 stars out of 10.
The Getaway (2002)
One of the best PS2 games I've ever played.
I really liked this one for starters. It was well worth the wait and well worth the attention as well.
- The graphics in the game, in my opinion, were very good. I can see how the game makers and designers at Sony Computer Entertainment America and Team Soho made the levels very unique and challenging because you have to reach your destination by following the indicators on the tail lights of your car, and then when they both flash, that means you've reached your destination. I think that this was a very nice touch because it feels so real and all the places you go to are all real as well, and not in some kind of "made-up" place that the game makers and designers thought up of.
- The controls in the game, in my opinion, are pretty good. I know that it can be a bit irritating at most times, because you never know when you're gonna run out of ammo because, again, they don't have a display for that. But, then I realized that you'll know when you're running low after you've been firing the pistol, shotgun or assault rifle a lot of times, and then you feel the controller vibrate. That's when you know it's time to reload. The driving controls for the game were also good as well.
- The voice-acting in the game, in my opinion, was very good. I can see now why it said on the back of the case, "Cast of professional actors", because every single actor and actress gave a really good performance in the entire game right up 'til the end. Just amazing.
- The dialogue in the game, in my opinion, was also very good. There's no scenes of empty dialogue anywhere throughout the entire game and I think that the dialogue was very detailed and very well-written.
- The cars in the game, in my opinion, were very good as well. Just make sure that you don't go flying at a rapid speed, then what happens is that your car would catch smoke and if a front or a rear tire is flat, then you'd be swerving around all over the place, which is kind of annoying at most times, but other than that, the cars are very good to handle and get around with.
- The gameplay in the game, lastly, in my opinion, was really good, too. I find that the idea of you having to drive to a certain place and it takes you a little while to get there and then you can shoot up different people there for a little while too, whether you were Mark Hammond or Frank Carter, it was fun, and nothing but fun.
Some action-driving players may feel unusual about the idea of a game that has no map or a bullet screen or an arrow to show you where to go next, but, I have to say that this game is definitely one of the best driving/shooting adventure games I've played in a long time, right up there with Grand Theft Auto.
I definitely would recommend this to anyone who's looking for a real fun challenge in a really fun game.
With all of that said, I give "The Getaway",
9 stars out of 10.
The King of Queens (1998)
This is how I truly feel about "The King of Queens"
Ever since I heard people say, "This show is so funny!" and "It's possibly the funniest show I've ever seen!", I thought, "Hey, maybe they're right." So, I decided to give it a try myself.
Now, I wish that I hadn't. I'm even amazed to see how people can possibly consider this show to be a "comedy". People ignore the fact that when people watch a funny show, they expect to laugh, while watching it. This so-called "show", in my opinion, is not funny, but crude, disgusting, stupid and horrendous. Let me begin, shall I:
1) Kevin James You know, it still amazes me to see how so many people consider Kevin James to be a funny comedian. Well, he's not in my opinion. Kevin James stars as "Doug Heffernan", an overweight lazy slug who has a job at IPS delivering packages and only shows affection for one thing and one thing only: food. That's it. His character is so stupid that I'm so sick and tired of watching him doing such stupid things on this show.
- pretending to be injured just to get whatever you want from your wife: that's not funny.
- taking a disgusting, disturbing, inappropriate picture of his private with a tiny Abraham Lincoln hat at a wedding and then assigning the blame to his cousin: that's crude.
- going to get a new "double-stuffed chocolate filled apple pie" or whatever they call it at a fast-food place and leaving your wife waiting for you in the pouring rain: that's disgraceful.
- just because a new IPS worker didn't invite you to his BBQ means you have to go at great lengths to try and get him to invite you: that's mean.
- you're nervous about telling your wife your new trainee is a hot blonde, but then when she says, "Don't worry about it. I'm not mad.", you become disappointed that she's not jealous of your new trainee: that's absolutely immature.
Let's continue:
2) Leah Remini plays as "Carrie Heffernan" in this show. Oh, my God! I just cannot stand her. Her attitude, what she does to Doug, to their friends, just makes me want to march right down to that studio and slug her right in the face. Why, it's absolutely unfunny of the way she acts so selfishly and sarcastically.
- a barking dog from your neighbor's house is keeping you awake all night. okay, here's a tip for you, just go down there and tell them nicely to stop their dog from barking, not, "I'm gonna call 911 and tell them there are two murderers next door!" or, "Oh, but you're gonna be nice. Let me just punch them once in the face and they're all yours!": that is crude.
- you join your husband in the kitchen to color some designs on a piece of paper, but your husband has a crayon that you want, so here's a tip for you, wait 'til he's done, then you can use the crayon, not tattletale on him to your father (this is a freaking' crayon we're talking about here!): that is so childish.
- you've donated money to a charity fund. that's good. but just because you're not on the "Patrons" list, you have to constantly and constantly urge the poor elder woman who runs it to put your name up there and it results in her getting fired, and you still suggest, "Can we still keep our names on the library as 'The Doug and Carrie Heffernan Library'?": that is disrespectful.
- you got a speeding ticket for driving around a stopped school bus, how on earth can you even say, "Okay, Officer just give me the ticket." or, "I got a speeding ticket, and blah, blah, blah...", that Officer should've arrested you and taken you down to prison for those replies: that is horrid.
- you find out that someone that lived in your neighborhood passed away and you plan to sell off his house for profit? not even caring about your husband's say in the matter and you just wanna get all the money for it: that is horrendous.
I could keep going on about these two completely unattractive, unnecessary, unfunny characters. I am sorry, but anybody who finds them to be funny or hilarious is just beyond my comprehension.
The whole idea for a good comedy show is to make the people who are watching it laugh and find it to be very entertaining. And you know something? That's nearly impossible to happen with this show, especially when the wife and the husband are arguing with each other 24/7, hitting or abusing each other, treating their friend's badly and even treating their family relatives badly.
This is how I truly feel about "The King of Queens". Unfortunately, I am aware that this review will find its way all the way in the back because a lot of people will disagree with me, but you wanna know something. I don't care.
Putting absolute stupidness and unbelievable selfishness does not make a good comedy. Just a cruel, offensive, disrespectful and horrendous piece of crap.