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Fifty Shades of Grey (2015)
50 Shades of Misconceptions
****Contains NO spoilers****
That's what this crap of a movie should have been titled
I saw this move (against my will and better judgment – long story) days before its theatrical release. Now that the initial hype has greatly subsided, I felt it was time to post my thoughts about Fifty Shades of Grey.
SKIP IT!!
What a lot of misconceptions in which Hollywood over glorifies as well as glamorizes in what they (including the author of this poorly scripted
badly written mess of a book series) perceive this life and concept is and consists of. How do I know this? Basically, because I'm a switch – meaning I exhibit both dominant and submissive personalities within this lifestyle.
Just skip this movie as well as the book series. If you're curious, read The Story of O or the works by Marquis DE Sade. Better yet, if you truly want to feel sexual tension in an office setting, rent The Secretary. Trust me, this classic James Spader with Maggie Gyllenhaal movie is WAY better that Fifty Shades of Whatever hands down.
The Purge: Anarchy (2014)
Finally a sequel worthy of a "10"
****CONTAINS NO SPOILERS**** It's 2023 ...and crime, poverty and unemployment are at an all time low in this country thanks to the New Founding Fathers and their implement of "The Purge" - that designated one night (on March 21) of the year were all crime (including murder) is completely legal. Yes, you can finally hunt, maim and/or kill that "special" someone or anyone you've been wanting to x out of your life without any feat of being arrested, tried and convicted because even emergency services (fire, police and hospital) will be suspended for twelve hours from 7p to 7a.
"Blessed be our New Founding Fathers for letting us Purge and cleanse our souls. Blessed be, America, a nation reborn..." That was the premise for the original The Purge (2013) which starred Ethan Hawke, Lena Headley, Adeliade Kane, and Max Burkholder and was directed by James DeMonaco. Well, director/writer DeMonaco is back with a sequel - The Purge: Anarchy in which he takes the audience out of the "comforts" of the suburban life during the night of the annual Purge as the terror unfolds around one particular family. Now, he gives us a sequel that features three unseemly separate story lines (at first) but all merging (unexpectedly) together as five (5) people try to survive the night on the streets of Los Angeles during the annual Purge. And, believe SouthSide, it's not going to be easy either. Not with armed people on the hunt ...prowling the streets looking for people to shoot and kill and with no safe place to hide from them. Will these unlikely group of people survive the long night of dodging bullets? Hm ...good question.
This reviewer highly recommends checking out The Purge: Anarchy when it opens in theatres tomorrow. She found the sequel way better than the first because it gave you more of an in depth look at what happens on the streets during the annual event rather than bottling you inside a house with a single family trying to evade teenage intruders and their neighbors. You as the audience are placed right smack in the middle of the action ...dodging the onslaught of armor piercing bullets, heavily suited and armed men in black government-issued protective gear and/or crazed masked gangs scouring the streets to nab you for some wealthy Purge hunt club. Yes, there's more to this Purge than the original because there was so much revealed about the true nature and reason for The Purge this time. Can something like this actually happen? Of course, as this nation gradually moves towards being "one nation under a gun" (please note SouthSide is all for the 2nd Amendment and your right to bear arms but do it with responsibility). Just as Carmelo stated during the movie "...we have become a nation that prays to their gun ...not to God, Allah, etc..." (paraphrased) And as morbid as it sounds, you just might find yourself cheering and/or laughing during this movie like SouthSide did when attending the recent screening. She supposes that she may have been desensitized to the acts of violence seen throughout the movie even though some scenes were intensely brutal at times as well as thrilling. Perhaps ...just perhaps, she has her own "purge" agenda in mind. Still, she does have to caution parents on thinking about bringing kids younger than 12 or 13 to this movie - DON'T! Don't be like those parents who brought their 10 ...even 6 or 7 years old kids with them to the screening. Though they see violence and acts of violence on the streets and/or television and video games, The Purge: Anarchy is way too intense for them to handle though SouthSide did bring her 12 year old daughter with her to the screening ...let's just say, she wants to see it again. So does SouthSide.
The Purge: Anarchy is one the better sequels (recently) seen by this reviewer ...which she has a feeling director James DeMonaco has another up his sleeve...
The Signal (2014)
Sci-fi/thriller with a creepy Twilight Zone twist
***CONTAINS NO SPOILERS!!!*** Cue the theme music for The Twilight Zone...
Meet three friends, Nic (Brenton Thwaites), Haley (Olivia Cooke) and Jonah (Beau Knapp), driving cross country to help Haley move until Nic and Jonah come into contact with an unseen hacker only known as Nomad who leads the trio to the middle of nowhere (literally) somewhere in Nevada when ...then Nic wakes up (perhaps days ...weeks ...months later – time isn't explain but it will get your very suspicious in a moment) in a facility where he soon discovers it's a place that his questions are many and will receive little or no answers from the mysterious Dr. Damon Wallace (Laurence Fishburne). Yep, there's something definitely suspicious about him and his staff wearing hazmat suits as well as the creepy town-folks once he finally escapes the facility.
So ...just what really happened to Nic and his friends out there in the middle of the desert? That's the mystery in which you have to solve along with Nic when watching this Twilight Zone inspired movie, The Signal. Directed by William Eubank, this sci-fi / thriller is like jumbo puzzle box of 500 pieces that don't connect at first. That you have to do gradually through Nic's dreamlike flashbacks and/or tiny bread crumbs sometimes left behind by Dr Wallace. Just to warn you, he doesn't leave many. Along the way, you will definitely get the distinct feeling (just like Nic) there's something quite strange gong on with not only Dr Wallace but also his staff, the facility, the town-folk, Nic and his friends. There's no pill to see how deep this rabbit hole goes. Yet, you're immediately sucked into it till reaching the dramatically, shocking "oh my gosh ...didn't see that coming" surprise at the end. Sorry, no spoilers here (and there are SO many she would like to tell you but won't) ...you simply have to see this intriguing movie to discover its many secrets.
Co-written by Carlyle Eubank, William Eubank and David Frigerio, The Signal wonderfully blends more than the sci-fi and thriller into ninety-five minutes of its runtime. There are moments when you will find yourself laughing at the idiocy of the cognitive tests and questions that Laurence Fishburne's character asks of Brenton Thwaites to cringing in you seat when a test on a cow goes (somewhat) unexpectedly wrong and a few "what the hell" creepy moments from the town-folks living within the area of this facility. The Signal left SouthSide guessing within its many twists and turns ...sometimes you think you got the movie all figured out but instead as more of its mystery gradually unravels, you realize you don't. Yes, the story does have a tendency of becoming muddled as well as confusing within its own plot twists. However, she has a feeling that's what director William Eubank was going for with The Signal. This reviewer noticed that feeling from Laurence Fishburne's character. He wants to answer all of Nic's questions but does not by donning that Morpheus-like stance and character tone ....only giving what you need to know until finally revealing his movie-ending surprise, And believe, SouthSide, it will blow you away. Brenton Thwaites, Olivia Cooke (loved her catatonic "dazed and confused" state) and Beau Knapp as the three friends caught inside the trap of The Signal's mystery delivering wonderful character performances in which are believable and can easily follow. Yet the true star of this movie, in this reviewer's opinion, isn't the actors themselves. It's the mystery surrounding The Signal ...the build-up towards the end was intense and had her on the edge and then falling into place with its conclusion.
Transcendence (2014)
Are you ready for a new kind of thinking?
***Contains no spoilers*** "...It's a new kind of thinking..." yet are we ready for it?
That's the premise Wally Pfister's directorial debut, Transcendence starring Johnny Depp, Rebecca Hall, Morgan Freeman, Kate Mara, Paul Bettany, Cillian Murphy, Clifton Collins Jr and Lukas Haas. Written by Jack Paglen, this movie is about a neuro-biologist Dr. Will Caster (Depp) along with his wife, Evelyn (Hall) and fellow colleague Max Waters (Bettany) pitch a new kind of AI (Artificial Intelligence) technology that will do more than just cure cancer. He believes it could help the eco-system ...save the planet and much more. According to Dr. Caster, experts would call that "singularity" but he calls it "transcendence" because it will merge the advanced technology of collective intelligence and human emotions into one machine. That's when he's asked if he's trying to create God to which he plainly answers "...isn't that what man is looking for?" However, there are those who oppose their research and ideals known as R.I.F.T, an extreme terror group bent on separating man from the "evil" machine and they will do whatever it takes to stop him (and others like him). They see AI as an abomination and a threat. That determination and an attempt on his life inadvertently turned Dr Caster the perfect human test subject to see if his "transcendence" theory actually works. Like all scientific ideals, "transcendence" has its positive as well as negative side (that this reviewer shall not reveal here) thus ultimately pitting R.I.F.T. and the government to fight together for humanity's future.
SouthSide has heard that the many critics panning Transcendence ...labeling it another Johnny Depp flop. Nor did she read any of the reviews before viewing this movie. Her goal was to see it for herself to form her own opinion about it. Her conclusion? Though it's not Johnny Depp Oscar-worthy performance, she recommends checking out Transcendence for a few reasons. It contains that "it could happen" premise since we are in that age where we are (in a way) transcended with our attachment to technology. Simply look how we live right now compared to 10 years ago. We can now stream music to movies and television onto our smartphones, iPad, tablet, etc ...there are apps for practically anything and everything you can think of ...and there's also the advancement in modern medicine (thus far). Yes, we could (one day) reach that age when man and machine merge together. Would there ever be a time when man and collective intelligence evolve as well as expand to the point there's no way of stopping it? Perhaps. Also Transcendence continually poses the question – "are we self-aware?" Truly an interesting question since it pertains to the belief that only we as humans have a soul. Yet, does AI have a soul? Hm ...that remains to be seen as humanity gradually moves towards that uncharted technological region. Transcendence (like last year's Oblivion) is a thinking person's sci-fi / action / adventure type of movie. It will provoke the notion that this movie is merely more than fantasy ...there's plenty of truth woven into the intricate plot of how we are heading down that dark path. Scary huh? Are you self-aware ...certain that you are whom you say you are ...are you plugged or unplugged into the collective?
In this reviewer's honest opinion, Transcendence isn't a Depp flop even though it doesn't rank up there with some of his best work but it does rank higher than his dismal role in The Lone Ranger. Depp plays this role straight. There's nothing outlandish (like his Capt Jack Sparrow or Tonto roles), comical or anything else she has seen him do before his role as Dr Will Caster. He portrays this character like a scientist (almost like Dr. Victor Frankenstein) who wants to better humanity with his work but somewhere along the way gets way over his head drunk on power before ultimately realizing that his "doing for the greater good" for the human race has its drawbacks. Rebecca Hall as Evelyn Caster is (at first) an underused character but does have her moments to shine as the wife trying to preserve her husband's work once Depp inhabits the computer side of his character. She's wholeheartedly a believer of what he's attempting to accomplish but soon realizes the dangerous side effects to his work with each breakthrough he makes within the transcendence program. Paul Bettany played his Max Waters character as the man who airs on the side of caution throughout the movie having doubts (publicly known as well as hidden from the Casters) about transcendence and its importance despite knowing the potential harm it could do. Morgan Freeman once again portrays the guy with the keen eye who really sees what transcendence for it is despite warmly liking Dr Caster's scientific theory at first. He doesn't get much screen time (the same way in Oblivion) but he does make his presence known and felt with his famous calm demeanor and voice. Chicago native and director Wally Pfister (who used to work with Christopher Nolan on other projects like Inception, The Dark Knight and The Dark Knight Rises) studied Nolan and his directing technique and FX style very closely yet adding a little of his own personal touch for Transcendence. He does pay attention to details, large and small but leaving enough room for you to think and decipher what might happening along with a few OMG moments too. Visually, it's quite picturesque and breathtaking on the big screen (like Inception) ...molds complicated character hierarchy (like The Dark Knight and The Dark Knight Rises) ...and leaves you with a somewhat "happy" but inconclusive ending.
Maybe that's part of the reason why many critics panned Transcendence. Too much thinking and the ending that leaves you to ponder the final scenes over again as you exit the theater...
The Secret Life of Walter Mitty (2013)
Dare Your Imagination To Embark On This Life
***contains NO spoilers***
What if you could experience your greatest, wildest adventure in your life ...without imagining it? In Walter Mitty's case, (real life) adventure seems to be passing him by while he's too busy living a life that's mundane and honestly boring. That's the theme of Ben Stiller's newest movie - The Secret Life of Walter Mitty in which he portrays the main character, Walter Mitty, who gets to experience life on the edge by taking an incredible adventure of a lifetime.
Based on a short story by James Thurber, Walter Mitty (in this movie) works as a Negative Asset Manager at Life Magazine for the last 16 years yet life in reality seems to pass him by. He doesn't take risks according to his ABC philosophy - Adventurous, Brave and Creative yet he does when he "zones out" i.e. daydreams "what if" situations whenever it comes to expressing romantic feelings for his fellow co-worker, Cheryl (Kristen Wiig) or having an all out, winner takes all street brawl with the Acquisition Manager (Adam Scott) in which Walter pictures himself as the dashing hero to the amorous lover to daring adventurer and much more. However when a real life situation involving a missing photograph negative taken by a world famous photographer, Sean O'Connell (wonderfully played by Sean Penn), Walter Mitty literally dives into an adventure of his life that takes him to far corners of the world ...places and new experiences along the way - enough to fill a travel journal or two. Not even his imagination could ever think of the things he's done during his worldwide search for Sean O'Connell.
SouthSide highly recommends seeing The Secret Life of Walter Mitty when it opens in theatres on Christmas Day. Ben Stiller handles the role as Walter Mitty with a little less comedic flair and more like the "everyday man" than the others in which he starred in movies like Tropic Thunder and The Little Fockers. Here, Walter Mitty portrayed like the average lonely guy looking for love on E-Harmony site ...seeking a way to validate his mundane boring life into something that he feels (at first) is unattainable because of commitments to his job and mother (portrayed by legendary screen actress Shirley MacClaine) as well as his inability to take that first step or risk. There are instances in which Walter has to either rely on wit or ingenuity during his travels discovering more about himself and the world as well as at the same time solving what Sean O'Connell sent him as Life's final cover photo.
This reviewer enjoyed how Ben Stiller surrounded himself with a wonderful supporting cast of characters from Kristen Wiig as the love interest who's divorced with a son interested in skateboarding to Todd (Patton Oswalt) who somehow manages to reach Walter at the most awkward moments throughout his travels to discuss about his E-Harmony profile. Shirley MacClaine once again proves she has a funny bone while portraying Walter's mom despite her scenes being very limited she does have a way of giving Walter a clue (or two) or some sound wisdom through her humorous wit into the mystery he's trying to solve. Sean Penn as the Life photographer Sean O'Connell was the perfect actor for this role. He portrays him as the wise yet mysterious photographer who thought Walter Mitty was just a mythical employee at Life magazine just as Walter thought the same about him. Yet, when the two finally meet, that scene (with limited conversation) is defining moment of truth for Walter ...actually the entire journey it took to reach Sean Penn was. However, when Sean and Ben are together, there's something magical that not only happens to Ben's character but to all of us in the audience.
Besides portraying Walter Mitty, Ben Stiller also handles the task as director of a cinematic feature for a fifth time. Unlike his previous work, Ben turns The Secret Life of Walter Mitty into a sort of visionary work of cinematic art where each scene especially when traveling the world has a breathtaking view. From the volcano erupting in Greenland to playing soccer in Afghanistan and shooting the curl down the winding road, Stiller pays close attention to each scenic detail which bursts to life for the audience ...almost like a Kodak panoramic picture with vivid colors and photographic imagery. Ben also doesn't use the "standard" New York scenery (i.e. The Plaza Hotel, Empire State Building, Statue of Liberty, Times Square, et al) either. Instead, he uses out of the ordinary places that SouthSide noted to show how mundane his life can be. Place such as a housing project complex (where Walter lives), upper New York transit line station and deep within the bowels of Life magazine where the photographers and negatives are stored. This reviewer also noted that Ben and his cinematic team carefully chosen each foreign location to give Walter as well as the audience one incredible movie journey. Plus, he creatively uses Life magazine's motto that helps motivate Walter when starting on this journey ...or Cheryl's summation of David Bowie's Space Oddity to inspire him before he leaves and while in Greenland.
Overall, what an adventure you'll take when you see The Secret Life of Walter Mitty. And when it's over, be inspired to search for yours...
The Hunger Games: Catching Fire (2013)
The Seeds of Rebellion Are On Fire...
***Contains NO spoilers*** Everyone wants to be a symbol of inspiration within some point of their life. However, what if you were pressured into being that symbol against your will ...would you still accept the role? It's the basis for this year's blockbuster sequel to The Hunger Games - The Hunger Games: Catching Fire, starring Jennifer Lawrence and Josh Hutcherson returning to their roles as Katniss Everdeen and Peeta Mallark, current winners of the 74th Hunger Games in Panem.
Life hasn't really changed much for the two main characters within this sequel. Katniss is torn between being "in love" with Gale Hawthrone (Liam Hemsworth) and being with Peeta as the second half of the "starcrossed lovers" ploy which helped them win the previous games. Outside the Winner's Quarters (where those who have won The Hunger Games along with their families live in comfort for the rest of their lives), life in District 12 has gone from worst to even more worst (if there's such a thing). And it's not just District 12 where life is looking grim but in the other districts except for 1 and 2 as well as The Capitol where those (who can afford it) live the opulent life. Poor Katniss ...she really has it bad. She's now the symbol of hope and freedom amongst the other 10 districts which gains much unwanted notice by President Snow (Donald Sutherland) and the new Games Keeper Plutarch Heavensbee (diabolically portrayed by Philip Seymour Hoffman). Both who plot to bring the downfall of Katniss Everdeen in hopes of squashing the rebellious uprisings in the districts during the victors' Victory Tour. Yet, not everything goes according to plan for President Snow who ultimately decides to pull a fast one by announcing that ALL past and current victors of The Hunger Games will compete in the 75th Hunger Games which is also known as the 3rd Quarter Quell. This sneaky move pits Katniss and Peeta fighting much more than their "starcrossed lovers" premise because rules have changed ...there can be one winner in this game. Can they save each other before President Snow tries to destroy them both?
Sorry, no spoilers here! You have to see The Hunger Games: Catching Fire yourself to find out what happens to Katniss, Peeta, Gale, Haymitch Abernathy (Woody Harrelson) and the other colorful cast of characters that make up the fantastical world of Panem in this sequel. SouthSide enjoyed how the movie itself quickly opens by instantly drawing you into the storyline where the first ended without any titles or opening credits (like the previous movie). You immediately get the sense of how bleak things have become not in just District 12 but in the other districts while Peeta and Katniss embark on their victory tour. And even before that, you get the sense of how times have changed for Panem when President Snow makes a surprise visit to Katniss blackmailing her to live up to the image that was created for her ...or suffer the consequences. Not her per se but her family and Gale. Yet, that's one of many problems weighing our young heroine down. She has to live up to the "chins up and smiles on" during the glitz and glamour parties hosted within The Capitol as the ever fabulously stylish Effie Trinket (Elizabeth Banks) escorts them around the districts along with Cinna (Lenny Kravitz) and the team of stylists keep them looking good. The action before the games (which is played on a new game grid with a unique tropical twist) is somewhat fast pace but not slow because the story within this sequel will keep your interest going. Yet once the games begin, expect the unexpected while Heavensbee upping the treacherous dangers cleverly disguised as a way to kill Katniss in the process. Again, kudos for stealing Lady Gaga's current Artpop style. This reviewer absolutely LOVED the costume designs which were inspired by the late Alexander McQueen used for the sequel ...you can clearly see his work when Katniss wears her "wedding dress" (watch for a surprise designed by Cinna). This reviewer is certain that some of Effie's colorful attire could be found Gaga's closet sometime soon ...if not now.
Overall, go see The Hunger Games: Catching Fire while it's showing in theatres but hopefully it's not a long wait for The Hunger Games: Mockingjay since the final scenes to this movie will surprise you (unless you read the books).
Percy Jackson: Sea of Monsters (2013)
You Will Get Fleeced Seeing This Movie
***contains no spoilers***
In all honesty, SouthSide didn't see the first Percy Jackson movie before attending the screening for its sequel last week. However it seems that doesn't matter because this latest book-turned-into-movie franchise has watered down Greek mythology to the point this generation of kids will never know who actually had a quest to find the Gold Fleece.
Percy Jackson: Sea of Monsters is a loosely based (and this reviewer truly means "loosely based") on the Greek legend of Jason and the Argonauts and their quest to find the Golden Fleece which is believed to have healing powers. But instead of having Jason and the Argonauts - it's Percy Jackson (son of Poseidon ...something we are constantly reminded every single time!), his band of friends and half brother, a cyclops named Tyson (shock and awe) set on a quest to find it before before cousin baddie Luke (or Lucas whichever name he answers to) uses it to resurrect Titan Kronos from the grave. And the only place they can find it is in the Sea of Monsters ...hence the movie title.
Sighs ...and yes, the ending does set it for another Percy Jackson movie...
Save your money because you're going to get horribly fleeced ...even while viewing it in 3D. This reviewer might appear to be bias due to the fact she didn't see this movie's predecessor. Well given the lame jokes and weak story line that reads like an after school special where one learns he's in charge of his destiny, another learns to accept and love himself and another learns not judge others before getting to know them, you really don't need to see the first movie. Go rent the original Clash of the Titans and Jason and the Argonauts - both movies feature stop-animated work of the late Ray Harryhausen ...also far worth seeing than this watered down Greek mythological movie.
Maybe Zeus should zap Hollywood with a lightning bolt for displeasing the Gods of Olympia...
Jagten (2012)
One little lie...
***may contain a spoiler***
...can certainly destroy...
The Hunt (Jagten in Danish) is about a kindergarten teacher named Lucas (Mads Mikkelsen) after a messy divorce is getting his life back together though having problems with his ex while entering a new relationship with Nadja (Alexandra Rapaport). Life seems to be on a gradually upbeat swing for Lucas until one day while playing with his students young Klara (beautifully portrayed by Annika Wedderkopp) kisses him on the mouth while slipping a note into his pocket. Even though immediately having a chat with the little girl about kissing another adult (other than her mother and father) and the note (to which she flatly denies doing), he's accused of molesting her when she tells the principal Grethe (Susse Wold) the most damaging of all accusations - that Lucas exposed himself (i.e. showed his penis) to her. Now granted the principal had her doubts about the matter yet she pursues the matter by bringing in a child psychologist/DCFS-type worker to question Klara which not only has the lie spiraling out of control but it has other parents claiming their children were also molested by Lucas after holding a meeting with them. This truly doesn't bode well for him since Klara is the daughter of his best friend Theo (Thomas Bo Larsen) and his wife Agnes (Anne Louise Hessing). Yet during the course of this, Klara does admit she said something stupid ...that he (Lucas) didn't do anything. However, since the lie is seen as the truth, the adults think she's experiencing a case of Stockholm Syndrome or lying because she feels some sympathy towards her accuser.
Besides showing how a child's little lie after being taken as a truth by everyone directly and indirectly involved, it also demonstrated how an accusation could instantly effect the alleged abuser and his family thus changing their lives throughout the course of the film. Not only does he lose his job at the kindergarten school and his girlfriend, Lucas loses the trust and friendship from most of his friends except Brunn (Lars Ranthe), his son's (Marcus portrayed by Lasse Fogelstrom) godfather. No one wants to believe and/or help prove his innocence. And even after the court finds no evidence of abuse, he's still viewed as an child molester where he lives to the point everyone in town continues to ostracize him which also includes banning him from shopping at the local grocery store (as so ordered by the store manager) all because they believe he did what Klara accused him of doing. Mads Mikkelsen in the role of Lucas shows the moveigoer (especially during the heart-stopping conclusion of The Hunt) that he always will forever be the victim of little girl's innocence lie never caring that he was justly vindicated by the truth and court. This actor wonderfully demonstrated a wide range of emotions from disbelief and anger (when being accused of the alleged crime) to frustration and hopelessness (after being acquitted of all wrong) and more while remaining relatively calm for the sake of his son ...especially when someone viciously murders the family dog.
In The Hunt, there seems to be three sides to the truth - Klara's, Lucas' and what the director reveals during the course of the movie. This reviewer liked the fact that director Thomas Vinterberg didn't waste most of the run time fluffing up the movie with unnecessary details (like showing the investigation with the other children or Lucas' police questioning and court appearance) which would painfully drag the movie down and drift away from its focus on the main character - Lucas. Without those scenes in place you don't really feel lost or that you're missing something from the plot because the director allows the somewhat fast paced timeline summarize what happened in between through his characters. For example, we don't realize Lucas has lost his job until the scene titled December but you do get that general feeling since he practically lives in a dark house and there's dirty dishes and clothes strewn everywhere when his son unexpectedly arrives at his door. Usually reserved for a thriller/horror film not a drama, Thomas wonderfully uses the element of surprise in this movie to heighten the intense movie-going experience with a few jarring, heart-stopping and panic moments that might have you clawing at your theater armrest. On the flipside, there are some funny moments - be on the lookout for Fanny the dog to bark whenever someone mentions the name Kirsten. It's hilarious. And (without trying to give too much away) through the use of the minor characters towards the end, he also gave you the sense that some were able (a) to forgive and forget, (b) forgive but not forget or (c) still hold a grudge ...from afar.
If you want to see a thought-provoking drama and don't mind reading subtitles (though there are moments when it's in English), SouthSide highly recommends checking The Hunt (which has a limited theater viewing run).
Despicable Me 2 (2013)
Love is a dangerous mission ...even for a villain
Contains no spoilers
Life has certainly changed for Gru (Steve Carell) since the first Despicable Me (2010). He's now a respectable family man as well as eligible single father on his block which has a nosy neighbor and his daughters pushing him into the dating pool. Instead of devising plots to take over the world, he and thousands of minions along with Dr. Nefario try to corner the market in jelly making. Yes, life has definitely changed for Gru ...or has it in the sequel, Despicable Me 2? In this movie, Gru faces a larger challenge than being recruited by AVL (Anti-Villain League) for a mission. It's juggling the challenge of falling in love and handling your eldest daughter's sudden interest in boys at the same time. This reviewer can certainly relate.
She enjoyed how the writers delicately handled the adult theme and complexities of Gru's falling head over heels for his fellow AVL agent Lucy (Kristen Wiig) without it being done overly dramatic or over the top that the kids would find too gross for them to enjoy the movie. It was handled in way even some of younger viewers could understand and laugh at the goofy things we adults go through when trying to ask a woman out on a date. There is one scene within Despicable Me 2 that fully explains why Gru has a difficult time meeting women that got plenty of laughs from all ages. Nice to see that the cooties joke is still popular with kids today. On the flip side, what's a kid's movie today without the occasional fart joke (as if this movie needed 23 to prove how funny they are)? *sighs* They may be funny but didn't generate much laughs from this reviewer's daughter ...perhaps she wasn't the target age group for that.
Also this reviewer liked the movies unique notion that villains are hiding amongst us including hatching evil plans inside our local malls like Eduardo/El Macho (Benjamin Bratt) who's son has caught the eye of Gru's eldest daughter. This sets up a the funny situation where Gru becomes the over protective father and then comforter when she experiences her first heartache. However, it's the minions that really keep this movie afloat and mostly funny especially when they insert iconic 70s nostalgia (i.e. YMCA and yes, there was a parent who actually embarrassed their kids with the infamous hand movements in the theater) to include the adult/parent viewer within the plot of Despicable Me 2. A word of caution - the intense scenes featuring the mutated purple minions might be a little too scary for viewers under 4. They did make a few kids cry .
Overall, Despicable Me 2 is a fairly decent family movie that kids of all ages can enjoy . Don't leave when the credits roll at the end of the movie or you might miss the funny extras!
World War Z (2013)
It could happen ...one day...
Contains no spoilers
In a time when some movies coming out of Hollywood are about vampires and zombies, this latest summer blockbuster offers something uniquely different as well as the same amongst a long list of "it could happen" type of cinema (i.e. Contagion, I Am Legend, et al. World War Z isn't your typical run of the mill, "let's scare the moviegoers with gruesome" zombie flick not with the occasional news feed about some type of disease (like N1H1 or H7N9) potentially having the ability to cause a world wide pandemic. No, this movie offers what this reviewer perceives a likely and yet plausible scenario of what could happen today ...tomorrow or near future if a disease - viral or bacterial, that was so powerful it could create widespread of living dead after being bitten.
Based on the book by Max Brooks, World War Z stars Brad Pitt as the "hero" Gerry Lane who must race against time and odds to find the answers in solving on how to stop this fast acting, world wide pandemic before the human race is no more. His character nearly throughout this movie faces one dangerous obstacle after another without trying to be some zombie's next victim in the process while traveling the world in search of clues and a possible solution to end it. The solution in the end may not be perfect or solid however it does give the surviving non-dead humans a chance to live and fight another day against the living dead. It's almost the absolute reality we have to face especially within a like World War Z ...that not every solution to a problem like this will be perfect.
The zombies in this movie aren't your usual slow moving "brain hungry" kind in this movie. They are fast acting and can easily sniff out a healthy human in seconds. This reviewer while watching this movie was in total awe on how fast zombies could attack a city (for example Jerusalem, Israel) in minutes. This should give you some idea the urgency in why Brad Pitt's character needed to find a solution to counterattack whatever was causing the world wide spread of zombie attacks even though it was never truly establish if this was "zombie" or simply people being infected by a viral or bacterial disease. One thing is for certain the reality of something like World War Z ever happening is horrifyingly scary.
On a special note, this reviewer can see where the English alternative band, Muse, got their inspiration for the latest release 2nd Law with songs like 2nd Law: Isolated System and Follow Me to be included in the movie. She could have seen others such as Panic Station (at the beginning of the movie when New York is overrun by "zombies"), Survival (towards the end of the movie) or 2nd Law:Unsustainable added to the movie soundtrack along with Marco Beltrami's original scores to further heighten how devastating a World War Z scenario could be.
Your best bet for curbing a potential "zombie" pandemic attack is hoping it doesn't actually happen...
Oblivion (2013)
A Thought Provoking Kind of Sci-Fi
***Contains NO spoilers***
The future looks even more bleak in the latest Tom Cruise movie, Oblivion, and it'll have you questioning the whys of your life and mission.
Based on an unpublished graphic novel by Tron Legacy director, Joseph Kosinki, Oblivion is about one man's search to find the answers about himself and his mission. The movie opens to planet Earth, now a desolate wasteland after an alien invasion and nuclear attack, where Jack Harper, Drone technician 49, is part of an effective team with his communications partner and lover, Victoria (Andrea Riseborough). Yet not everything is well with Jack ...he's having trouble sleeping due to recurring memories of a woman and being at the top of the Empire State Building continuously haunt him. Who is she? Why does this building hold such significance to him? Those questions and many more are soon answered when a lone survivor named Julia (Olga Kurylenko) of the spaceship named Odyssey crash lands on Earth and a resistance leader of the remaining human race named Malcolm Beech (Morgan Freeman) take presence in Jack's life. Both characters begin his soul-searching process of truly discovering who (and what) he is, the nature of his mission, and "company" (known as the Tet – the alien lifeforce that attack Earth for its natural resources). It's a journey that could ultimately decide Jack's fate and the destiny of the surviving human race.
If you're expecting Oblivion to be a "blast 'em to kingdom come" type of sci-fi movie, you should skip it. On the other hand, if you like a sci-fi movie where the plot makes you think, question, and decipher clues like an Alfred Hitchcock mystery along with the main character and the action is more of a backdrop than the main focus, Oblivion is the movie for you. Joseph Kosinki, in this reviewer's opinion, did an excellent job paying homage to the sci-fi movies from the 70s (as well as borrowing a few themes here and there from current movies) when translating his graphic novel to the big screen. Throughout the movie, there are notable references to Stanley Kubrick's 2001: A Space Odyssey and the 1968 version of The Planet of the Apes to Terminator, Moon, Tron and Matrix – just to name a few. Visually, this movie is stunning. This reviewer like the contrasting wasteland of mountainous and sandy desert that was once New York City and the luscious forestry where Jack "escapes" the ever watchful Victoria to relive some sort of normalcy of a life he once knew. There are some hidden gems in Oblivion to which this reviewer easily recognized besides Led Zeppelin's Ramble On and Procol Harum's Whiter Shade of Pale ...here's one, be on the look out for Pink Floyd's The Wall album.
Even though not really a big Tom Cruise fan, it was nice change of pace for this reviewer to see him portraying a character that doesn't start off as the dashing hero but the everyday man who's reluctantly pulled towards that status by Malcolm Beech, leader of the so-called "scavs". Morgan Freeman's character, in an unusual supporting role this time, hones in Lawrence Fishbourne's Morpheus character (from the Matix) and the way he cryptically guides Jack to search for the truth without really revealing too much him (and the audience) at once. Just like Jack, we are made to discover it in bits and pieces when he ventures into the radioactive zone. And she liked the seemingly effective yet cold chemistry between Jack and Victoria since they are paired together as co-workers and nothing more. There's no real "love" between the two compared to the love Jack and Julia rediscover in the latter half of the movie. Yet the one character that really stood out in this reviewer's mind despite being non-human except for the voice (by Melissa Leo) was "Sally". Think of this "character" as what Hal did for 2001 ...she was chipper and pleasant yet terrifying with her "are you and Jack an effective team" (which had this reviewer wondering what would happen if Victoria said "no" to that question) to "I created you Jack. I am your God" at the end ...the most powerful movie moment that sent chills down the spine.
Music done by the French electronic/shoegaze group M83 wonderfully captures the mood and subtle undertones of Kosinki's Oblivion like what Daft Punk did to his Tron Legacy. This reviewer liked how the opening sequence (titled Jack's Dream) gives the audience seemingly look at happier times while Jack monologues what happened to Earth before the attention grabbing blast of electronica seeing the movie title (think opening sequence to Daft Punk's The Grid with Jeff Bridges in monologue). Other notable tracks off the Oblivion soundtrack include Tech 49 when Jack is roaming the desolate wasteland (beautifully highlights stunning scenery a world that's no more). and Oblivion (featuring vocalist Susanne Sundfer) at the ending credits.
Highly recommend seeing Oblivion on the big screen(just to see the stunning the visual effects and scenery) before it's released onto DVD/Blue-Ray.
The Hunger Games (2012)
Will Leave You Hungry For More
SouthSide, at first, was quite wary upon hearing there would be a movie adaption of Suzanne Collins' The Hunger Games since Hollywood has the tenacity for chopping books to add and/or delete material as it sees fit for the audience (see review for the americanized version of The Girl With The Dragon Tattoo for more clarity).
After seeing this movie, this reviewer thoroughly enjoyed how the screenplay was wonderfully crafted so that if you didn't get a chance to read the book (and SouthSide highly recommends that you do read the entire Suzanne Collins' series - way better than Twilight), you won't get lost during the nearly 2hr and 30 minute run time. Yes, some minor characters and/or details were either omitted, meshed together or added for this movie however the main important details still remained to easily follow as if you're reading the book itself on the big screen.
This reviewer liked how the screenwriters Suzanne Collins (who wrote the popular trilogy series) and Garry Ross (who also directed this movie) along with Bill Ray wonderfully capture the tense moments (especially during the scenes before The Reaping when Katniss and Prim are getting ready for it and at the start of the game) without any (or with a few words) of dialogue. This reviewer also liked how they captured the differing reactions from District 12 to The Capitol as well as the twenty-four tributes on the playing field during the countdown. One could easily sense the range of emotions from Katniss' nervousness (especially after being sealed inside the tube to reach the arena) as she stares at Cinna (Lenny Kravitz), her stylist to the celebratory party mood within The Capitol for the 74th running of The Hunger Games.
Special kudos to the set, art and cinematography direction of The Hunger Games for translating the opulent look and splendor of what this reviewer imagined The Capitol would look ...more kudos to costume designer Judianna Makovsky for raiding Lady Gaga's closet and cosplay wigs to flamboyantly dress the 1% of Panem in the most outrageous clothing designs from Effie's powdered face and expensive dress suits to making Cinna's fire costumes (in which Katniss and Peeta wear during the opening ceremonies) come to life.
There's one thing more why SouthSide recommends seeing The Hunger Games. Besides the strong female character portrayed by Jennifer Lawrence, the story's love triangle (between Peeta-Katniss-Gale) doesn't weigh down the movie (and book) so heavily compared to the other popularized teen series - Twilight. To be honest, love is the farthest thing on our heroine's mind. She's only determined to survive and (hopefully) win The Hunger Games ...not for herself or the honor of representing her home district but for her sister.
Overall, The Hunger Games - a very good adaptation of Suzanne Collins' book ...worth the price to see it on the big screen before it hits the DVD / Blu-Ray. SouthSide cannot wait to see the sequel - Catching Fire.
The Muppets (2011)
Together Again ...redux
****may contain a tiny spoiler**** Believe it or not, SouthSide's a Muppet and Muppet show fan. She vividly remembers sitting in front to the television to watch the weekly CBS prime-time program with her family. Her favorite Muppet Show moments would be when Vincent Price, Alice Cooper and The Star Wars cast (Mark Hamill, C3PO, R2D2 and Chewbaca) were special guest stars. And of course, who cannot forget the infamous Mah Na Mah Na song. Sing with SouthSide now "...mah na mah na..." However, she's not a HUGE fan of the Muppet characters like the two main characters of this new movie.
The Muppets take place sort of a direct sequel years later after The Muppets Take Manhattan movie in which the characters have moved on and drifted apart (Fozzie does a lounge act in Reno, NV and Animal is taking anger management classes, for example) ...going their own separate ways. The basic theme of this movie in the beginning - the world has moved on and have forgotten about them but they're not definitely forgotten especially not with their two BIGGEST fans - Walter (a Muppet) and human brother Gary (Jason Segel of CBS' How I Met Your Mother, a television program that prides itself with nostalgia) of Smalltown, USA. Like SouthSide, they grew up watching the Muppets and Muppet Show and now as adults, they're taking a trip to Hollywood to tour the famous Muppet studio and theater. Coming along with them is Gary's girlfriend of 10 years (now, you know there's a major snag in the relationship if you still dating a guy for 10 years with no intention of marriage ...yet), Mary (Amy Adams) who's "excited" that brother Walter is tagging along on their anniversary trip. Yet like in any Muppet movie, there's a bad guy and/or a problem which involves the Muppet characters raising money to save their theater from destruction. In this latest Disney-produced version movie, the baddie is a rich oil tycoon (a BP reference?) named Tex Richman (wonderfully played by Chris Cooper) who will own not only the studio but also the Muppet name if the lovable characters don't raise the necessary 10 million (yes, this time it's in the millions, folks) dollars by midnight (always by midnight with the Muppets) according to the ironclad contract Kermit signed long ago. So with the help of Walter and Gary, Kermit gets the old gang back together for one last show however not everyone (Miss Piggy) isn't on board at first. But, hey, this is the Muppet movie - everyone re-unites to help save their name and studio.
SouthSide liked the fact Disney cracked opened the vaults and re-united ALL of the muppets from The Muppet Show (including Beauregard the janitor, Sweetums - still working at the same used car dealership from the original Muppet Movie, Uncle Deadly - used when Vincent Price made his appearance on the show and more) for the making of this movie. Who knows when we'll ever see them on the big screen and on television again? Also like any Muppet-involved movie there's a long list of A-list celebrities with cameo or speaking appearances like Alan Arkin (the tour guide), Emily Blunt (as Miss Piggy's executive assistant), Mickey Rooney (as a Smalltown, USA resident) and some corny Muppet songs to fill the movie's run time such as Life Is Happy and Me Party of One songs. However also included within this soundtrack was few 80s hits like Jefferson Airplane's We Built This City and Gary Neuman's Car ...even AC/DC gets inside a Muppet movie during a montage sequence. Yet, her favorite song from this movie would have to be Tex Richman's hilarious hiphop/rap ditty about himself ...she would like to dedicate it to her BP (executive) fiancé. Plus there were other references from other Muppet movies of the past (i.e. Rainbow Connection and Together Again ...and other non-song references) intricately placed throughout the movie. And stick around during the credits for the Mah Na Mah Na song too.
What this reviewer liked about this new Muppet movie was they aged the Muppet characters a little (i.e. check out the graying on Fozzie's eyebrows) and it was nice to know that happy wedding endings don't last forever especially between a frog and a pig. And this time, the Muppets don't technically win - they actually can lose graciously to the big evil oilman Richman even though the ending does suggest they've won. What she didn't like about this movie - Disney re-manufactured the same Muppet movie formula i.e. defeat the bad guy by putting on a show to raise the money necessary to save the theater to play it safe with audiences. If the muppets can grow old, so can the tiresome formula. For the next movie - get more creative, writers, especially for this new millennial generation.
Overall, it's worth the price of the movie ticket to see all of the Muppets together again.
Hugo (2011)
Best Cinematic Feature of 2011
****CONTAINS NO SPOILERS**** SouthSide's faith in Hollywood was somewhat restored this afternoon when she saw Martin Scorsese's latest cinematic achievement delightfully titled - Hugo. This movie had everything she could ever want from a movie - a heartwarming story, romance, suspense, comedy, thrills and chills, a sense of wonderment and imagination and more - wrapped inside its nearly 3 hour running time. And if you're a vintage cinema aficionado like Scorsese, then you will very much appreciate the attention to cinematic detail from the vividness of Robert Richardson's cinematography to the Parisan period music of the 1930s as well as the homage to the early filmmakers and actors/actresses which include the works of Georges Melies within this movie's storyline.
Hugo, based on a book - The Invention of Hugo Cabret by Brian Selznick, tells the story of an orphaned boy, Hugo Cabret (Asa Butterfield in his most powerful role thus far in his young career since The Boy In The Striped Pajamas), an automaton, its inventive creator Georges Melies (Sir Ben Kingsley - fine performance for this character actor) and a mystery that connects them together. Since the tragic death of his father (cameo by Jude Law), Hugo has lived and worked in keeping the clock of a Paris train station running on time with his drunkard Uncle Claude (Ray Winestone). Yet he mostly spends his time stealing food to survive while avoiding the ever watchful eye of the Station Inspector (Sacha Baron Cohen, a light comedic but dramatic role specially tailored for him) who's always on the hunt for orphans like Hugo with his sidekick, a dog named Maxilliman. He also spends the other half of his time hiding inside the clock observing the people whose daily lives encompass the station itself. This reviewer enjoyed how Scorsese and screenwriter John Logan delicately interwove the minor plot sequences (such as the budding romance between Lisette the flower woman by Emily Mortimer and Station Inspector) without overshadowing or overwhelming the entire main story itself even though majority of the movie's plot does take place inside this one particular station. We also meet other colorful characters who lives are part of this station directly or indirectly - like Isabelle (Chloe Grace Mortez), George Melies and Madame Jeanne's goddaughter who lives for adventure but only through the books she reads from Monsieur Labrisse's (Christopher Lee) bookshop/library until taken to see her first cinematic feature by Hugo, the Parisan band that wonderfully provides the backdrop music for not only the train café but the entire movie itself and of course the mysterious Georges Melies who run a tiny toy shop where Hugo steals his gears and workings to fix the automaton safely hidden inside the clock tower. The automaton and the mystery surrounding it does bring all of the major and minor characters gradually closer together especially during the film's conclusion - SORRY NO SPOILER ON HOW IT ENDS.
This reviewer fell absolutely in love with Hugo. It's beautiful imagery ...the splendid view of Paris in the 1930s (especially at night when you see it run like a fast moving clock) ...the splendor or this train station as well as the detailed gears and workings of the clocks - everything was simply breathtaking. She enjoyed the touch of history about silent filmmaking and how the early filmmakers created and at times invented the tools for filmmaking (still used today though by computer) ...plus seeing the vintage classic clips by Buster Keaton, Charlie Chaplin and Douglas Fairbanks Sr to silent war footage and the masterpiece itself - Georges Melies' The Trip To The Moon (ah, still a cinematic achievement in its own right after nearly 100 years). If there's a moral within this movie, then Scorsese has said it loud and clear - preserve and treasure our vintage movies for future generations to come. SouthSide highly advises that you sit through the ending credits to view the list of silent movies (including nearly 80 of Georges Melies' works) used for Hugo. Director Martin Scorsese has truly re-invented the movie-going experience for this reviewer ...she was delightfully entertained with the sense of that she had taken an extraordinary adventure. And with screenwriter John Logan, they both created a story full of imagination and wonderment for SouthSide instilling in her a deep appreciation for the early filmmakers, directors, actors/actresses and etc than before.
Howard Shore's music told a better story and left a far better memorable impression than the Reznor-Ross composition for The Girl With The Dragon Tattoo. Shore's music not only enhanced each scene but was also a character in itself throughout Hugo. You could say it was the only non-speaking silent character that vividly expressed the mood of a particular scene or enlightened the audience to dream along with Georges Melies while watching The Trip To The Moon. SouthSide cannot stop raving about Sacha Baron Cohen's role after seeing this movie. It was utterly amazing to see this actor in a serious/dramatic role instead of his outlandish over the top comedic stuff like Bruno and Borat. Though having a few comedic moments within Hugo (i.e. like when his leg brace would lock whenever approaching the fair Lisette), he wonderfully demonstrates a softer side to him in which this reviewer hopes to see more of. And Jude Law's and Asa Butterfield's characters during their short scenes together had this natural loving interaction as if they were truly father and son and not just playing one on the screen. The same could be said between Sir Ben Kingsley and Asa Butterfield during their screen time together. Also, try spotting Brian Selznick (not credited in the movie) for his cameo as well as other famous Paris residents like Salvador Dali (Ben Addis) and James Joyce (Robert Gill).
SouthSide highly recommends seeing this heartwarming Scorsese cinematic feature on the big screen before it hits the DVD/Blu-Ray sales. One of the VERY best of 2011.
The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo (2011)
DO NOT see if read the book or seen the original!
An open letter to Hollywood - STOP turning popularly artistic foreign movies into your big budgeted box office cash cows! Why? Simply because you have the tendency to flip, add, delete, re-arrange, water down, etc the original material to fit the average American movie-going audience's intelligence and attention span. Case in point, Let The Right One In - a beautiful Swedish movie but horribly re-made into an Americanized version with 30 minutes lopped off.
Now you have sunk your greedy hands into another Swedish film - The Girl With The Dragon Tattoo. Thank the blessed goodness that Stieg Larsson isn't alive to see how you have flipped and watered down his work ...adding WAY too much and leaving out too little than its Swedish version. PLUS you have revealed TOO before its time.
*sighs* If you have seen the Swedish original and/or read Larsson's books, SouthSide seriously advises that you stop reading this review now ...or suffer the agony knowing what they have done. If you're currently reading the Millennium book trilogy - stop now. It's not going to help you while viewing the movie. HOWEVER, you haven't read and/or seen the Swedish original - this movie was tailored for you because you wouldn't have a clue as to what was added or subtracted.
Sadly this version is missing the mystique behind the disappearance of Harriet Vanger but focuses more on Lisbeth Salander (played by Rooney Mara, an okay replacement to Noomi Rapace) and Mikael Blomkvist (Daniel Craig a stale replacement to Michael Nyqvist). The way TGWTDT was filmed you would have thought the writers were studying the cliff note version of Stanley Kubrick's guide to flipping a novel into a movie without the use of a script. The screenplay (by Steven Zaillian) jumps around like a hot Mexican jumping bean snagging bits and pieces from the book thus smashing them together during the beginning that the plot doesn't become fully clear and concise until slowing down at the middle. Even the rape scenes between Bjurman and Salander did not frighten or make this reviewer squeamish (or even arouse her kinky fetish side). They totally missed their mark. There was no subtle seduction from Bjurman over the "vulnerable" Lisbeth ...it played out like some poorly made American porn. And then that's when the many movie mistakes kick in ...like isn't that dragon tattoo suppose to be down her back NOT alongside her left side ...or isn't she suppose to tattoo "I'm a SADISTIC rapist pig" on her guardian Bjurman's chest instead of "I'm a rapist pig"? There are many more but this reviewer shall not reveal them here. Then there's the TWO major mistakes made in which totally changed the outcome of the entire movie far differing from the original Swedish version and Larsson's book.
And a word to the dialect coach - please teach your actors (Daniel Craig included) to stick to one accent, please. This reviewer had a hard time distinguishing if Blomkvist was Swedish, British or American or all three at the same time with everyone changing their accents throughout the movie. It felt like watching The Prince of Persia all over again.
Trent Reznor, SouthSide believes Nine Inch Nails want their front man back ...asap! You do not have the gift for composing movie music ...you should have taken some lessons from Hans Zimmer, Danny Elfman ...or even Chris Carter. Led Zeppelin's Immigrant Song?!?! Seriously, dude, what does that classic epic rock song have to do with the movie especially the opening credits (that looked like someone did as a Graphic Design project for Flashpoint Academy ...and it wasn't even good). The music throughout the movie didn't enhance or heighten the action or plot ...sometimes it was too loud and boisterous or the scene didn't call for music. OR sometimes there was no music to be had when it called for it.
*sighs* It is this reviewer's honest recommendation - wait for the DVD/Blu-Ray version. At least you can press stop and then play when you get to a confusing scene that doesn't make any sense.
Tangled (2010)
ALL the shampoo in the world cannot un-TANGLED this hair ...even in 3D!
Disney has done it ...again and this time, it's in 3D! It's latest addition to the princess lineup - Rapunzel - clearly shows how un-imaginative this archaic animation/movie company has recently become and it has its new movie sucked into the 3D fad too instead of the traditional use of 2D.
Tangled is a loosely-based story of Grimm Brothers' fairy tale, Rapunzel. And SouthSide literally means "loosely based" ...watered down to the point that Disney only kept the bare basics to this story (the girl with long hair, tower and a witch, affectionately named Mother Gothel) before adding filler which was never part of the original fairy tale. SouthSide won't reveal much about the plot - let's just say Rapunzel uses her lovely locks for more than pulling a full grown witch up the tower however she doesn't remember reading about Rapunzel's hair having healing powers (reference to Disney's Atlantis movie) or an outlaw named Flynn Rider (Zachary Levi) ...or a kingdom that lights lanterns every year on the missing princess' birthday. Somehow the legendary Grimm Brothers missed that part in their fairy tale version.
Now toss in a horse named Maximus (a Russell Crowe Gladiator reference?) that "acts" like a trained dog (Hunchback of Notre Dame reference) during the film and a chameleon named Pascal with a Robert DeNiro "I'm watching you" complex. SouthSide found the animals (as well as the gang of ruffian bandits) far more interesting in Tangled than the main characters, Rapunzel (Mandy Moore), Mother Gothel (Donna Murphy) and Flynn (Levi). There's plenty of Disney action, adventure in which binds Rapunzel and Flynn together, romance (of course - think Little Mermaid during the boat scene when Moore and Levi sing the duet I See The Light) and lame Disney humor (most of the funny moments are shown in the Tangled commercials). Sadly none of the humor didn't attract a single guffaw from SouthSide's eight year old daughter - take it as a bad sign when a movie doesn't generate any excitement from a tween girl who's loves dressing up as a princess.
Usually Disney movies are filled with ear-popping, memorable songs such as Can You Feel The Love Tonight (Lion King), Pink Elephants (Dumbo) or A Girl Worth Fighting For (Mulan). However Tangled fails miserably in the song category. The songs are mostly big production, Broadway sounding pieces like Mother Gothel's Mamma Knows Best - SouthSide liked the Shadow Man's song Friends On The Other Side (from The Princess and The Frog) better. It was darker, creepier and scarier unlike Mother Gothel's in which this reviewer had to stop herself from laughing out of her seat from lack of scariness (even in 3D it wasn't scary). Yet Tangled does have one memorable (but not Oscar worthy) song - I Got A Dream that had the feel and fun of Gaston from Beauty and The Beast. Alan Menken is at the helm for Tangled's original score and songs (with Glenn Slater on lyrics) but this reviewer noticed the recycled themes from his past films and lack of creativity on lyrics.
Yes, Tangled will generate the usual Disney money numbers amongst families during this upcoming holiday season however it's not truly a Disney hit or best. It won't ever rank up there with Beatty and The Beast, Cinderella or its first cinematic classic Snow White.
Tangled is simply too tangled up to believe its own hype for this reviewer to like ...even in 3D.
Save your money...
I Spit on Your Grave (2010)
I AM Woman Hear Me Snip That Off!
SouthSide's not a fan of the "chick flick" movie genre. Nor is she a fan of classic movies updated for the millenial generation. However the updated (and unrated) version of I Spit On Your Grave is, in her opinion, the ultimate chick flick ...on suspenseful revenge by a woman horribly wronged featured in any horror movie. Believe, this reviewer, Jigsaw would probably get very squeamish (like many of the men who attended last night's screening) from viewing the graphic, horrific yet creative and inventive ways the main character, Jennifer Hills (Sarah Butler) got her revenge.
SouthSide vividly remembers the original I Spit On Your Grave (1978) and was quite shocked and intrigued by the graphically intense subject matter. She skipped viewing the 2009 loosely-based teen version titled Jennifer's Body (starring Megan Fox). Yet in 2010, comes two versions of the same movie (rated and unrated) of I Spit On Your Grave still retaining the original premise - a young woman viscously attacked and assaulted ...brutally raped and then left for dead ...but with a modern twist. Unlike the '78 version, this new version involved five men attacking our victim-turned-heroine ...there's more suspense and intense drama throughout the movie which definitely keeps you on the edge of your seat ...and plenty of creepy movie mood music to add the element of surprise that that there's something horrible lurking around the corner. SouthSide liked how director Steven R. Munroe used a pseudo-documentary camera style which moves with the characters throughout the film as well as sets up the scenes about to happen next instead of stationary camera shots. Though it might feel a slow drag towards the gripping brutal rape scenes this gives the audience a chance to familiarize themselves with the six main characters (and a few minor ones) involved in the storyline.
Within the unrated version of this movie, be prepared for not only scenes in which Jennifer was brutally raped but assaulted by three men (Johnny - chauvinistic pig, Andy on harmonica, and Stanley - the nasty voyeur)before the rape with Matthew, a mentally handicapped who refuses at first but is goaded into raping Jennifer. Add the fifth man, a sadistic sheriff (with a pregnant wife and young daughter) into this terrifying mix and it turns into a graphic scene with most of the rape nicely blacked out ...yes, you have to use your imagination in what the others did to her. This reviewer enjoyed how the director gave the audience a sense of calm when life returns to "normal" for out bad guys after unable to find Jennifer's body in the river. This where the "fun" of getting her revenge begins ...and NO ONE is spared from her wrath not even Matthew who's the only one feeling a bit remorseful for what he did to her. The others do get their just "desserts" in the most creative ways as she systemically picks them off one by one. And the way she does it literally had the men during this screening either squirming in their seats from the intense horror scenes (especially during Stanley's and Johnny's deaths) or actually walking out of the theater (waiting for their dates/spouses/girlfriends outside). Yes, horror fans, the sheriff gets the worse punishment out of all of them. Hell knows no fury like a scorned woman bent on revenge! Justice served with a smile....
SouthSide has never seen SO many men running out the theater (those who "survived" the screening with all their bits and pieces still intact) when the lights were turned back on. Even the critics attending the screening were NOWHERE to be found except outside the theater ..."I AM woman hear me roar" probably had that disturbing effect on them, SouthSide supposes.
So be careful, men, this isn't your ordinary "dinner and a date" movie. The unrated version is definitely NOT for the squeamish and/or children under 17.
Oh one last thing - look for hidden clues referencing to the original throughout this movie ...plenty to be spotted...
Prince of Persia: The Sands of Time (2010)
A Waste of Sand and Time
There's a very good reason why SouthSide's chosen profession is reviewing live music instead of cinematic feature films. At least within the independent scene, there's a wide variety of bands/artists to discover and music to be heard. Something new and eclectic is always rocking' the stage. However it seems Hollywood today has yet to learn that especially with its current trend of crappy re-makes and turning video games into movies. Prince of Persia:The Sands of Time is a prime example of a movie "based" on a video game though not really like or about the game itself. Produced by the same duo who brought you Pirates of the Caribbean (Disney and Jerry Bruckheimer), this movie doesn't even earn the rank of "swashbuckler" like Pirates since it had no swash to buckle this reviewer into liking it.
The biggest problem with Prince of Persia (besides the noticeably lack of any Arabic/Middle Eastern actor/actress represented in this film) was the jumbled mesh of movie influences and clichés it borrowed to have a plot. The opening sequences had more sand than Lawerance of Arabia before jumping quickly into The Thief of Baghdad meets Aladdin. There's plenty of Matrix-like action scenes mixed with campy Pirates of Caribbean leaps and swings. Honestly, do we need point of view shots from an arrow's prospective? And how could they think no one would notice the Lion King reference (brother plotting against brother for his throne and kingdom - he's definitely no Scar, folks)? The Romancing The Stone love interest banter between Dastan (Jake Gyllenhaal) and Tamina (Gemma Arterton) was so nauseating that SouthSide nearly shouted - "KISS HER ALREADY!" - at the movie screen. Plus the National Treasure and Indiana Jones references and clichés were so obvious than the booby traps near the end of the movie. Also toss in Star Wars zen-like references and characters ...whew, this is so exhausting while spotting the many movie references that SouthSide will stop here. There was nothing original about the swashbuckler part of Prince of Persia ...it doesn't even deserve the title of action/adventure. Sorry, those days of cinematic scores, thrills and action/adventure (i.e. Captain Blood, Mark of Zorro, Robin Hood - not that current Russell Crowe crap) are long gone. Those examples and many more truly emulated the essence and spirit of what a swashbuckler movie was.
Next, Jake Gyllenhaal isn't what you would call a "swashbuckler" hero-type for this movie. It was so confusing watching him trying to handle the suavity and charismatic charm (like Johnny Depp's Capt Jack Sparrow) and the bright-eyed, diamond in the rough hero (like Orlando Bloom's Will Turner and Aladdin) at the same time. In SouthSide's opinion, he was playing it straight ...so serious as he could as if he was reverting back to Donnie Darko. There was no charm ...no sense of him being a hero to cheer for with his unfunny one-liners mixed within Dastan's script. Gemma Arterton was essentially boring as Princess Tamina. She tried so hard to have that spunk and fire (like Carrie Fisher's Princess Leia and Jasmine from Aladdin)that there was none to be found whenever she shared the screen time with Jake. There was NO real chemistry ...this reviewer felt their "love/hate" taunting were shot separately to save time (and money). Also SouthSide feels that Sir Ben Kingsley's superb acting talent was totally wasted as the baddie brother, Nizam. This role was really beneath an actor of his quality ...not his best outing. And Alfred Molina - *sighs* - his character was totally unnecessary as an ostrich race promoter/tax evader (who knew ostriches were common in Persia). He was the "Han Solo" of the Prince of Persia with his silent (and rather hunky) "Chewbacca" who ONLY has a few lines near the end of the movie! SouthSide found herself rooting for the Hassassins since they were the only characters that she found worth interesting - wouldn't mind snuggling up with the guy who charms/stares at snakes.. AND what's up with the FAKE British accents switching to American and then back to British throughout this movie?!?! Shouldn't we sound like Persian with some sort of Arabic dialect? UGH - SouthSide wishes she could turn back time and stop herself from agreeing to review this movie for the team (and you know who you are! She's sending you the therapy bill soon).
Overall, SouthSide hopes (and prays) there isn't a sequel to this movie. Seriously, this isn't a really a movie franchise that deserves one since the ending summed it up with MORE FREAKIN' SAND! There's nothing left ...however, this is Hollywood and sequels rule the box office (sometimes). SouthSide's afraid Disney and Bruckheimer are probably working on Prince of Persia 2: The Revenge of Nizam.
UGH - what a sickening thought ...bad SouthSide!