HeartMonger Reviews

G.I. Joe: Retaliation (2013)

What happened to movie? G.I. Joe: Retaliation is ALL BRAWN, and NO BRAIN.

[1/10 · 28 March 2013]

It's amazing how many good movies produced this year have been relegated to sub-par status, while others that shouldn't be given a glance are given zenith status as great pieces of work, art, and other such pop-cultural sub- standard excrescences achieve more than their worth in fool's gold. One such picture - I'm sorry - movie, that audiences will endure a release of, either glorifyingly, or harshly, is G.I. Joe: Retaliation, the new brawn packed action farce from Paramount Pictures.

Starring Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson, and with appearances by Bruce Willis and Channing Tatum, the film offers no social commentary, consists of nothing remotely engaging (I tended to doze off on even the action scenes), and pities itself with egregious CGI 3-D effects that disappear mid-air depending on where one sits in the audience. There is no basis for being an audience member, because the effects are so jarring, that the viewer will not be able to involve itself to anything worth sitting for an hour and forty minutes for (which trust me, there wouldn't be anyway.) But that's not the half of the film's problems.

The real problem stems from lack of plot. More like no plot. The film is supposed to be a sequel, or rather, a continuation of the original G.I. Joe: Rise of the Cobra, but even by todays standards, the filmmakers weren't trying to mark any new ground. All we get is one action sequence after another. Even James Cameron knows you need a through-line of plot device to make these kinds of movies work, but director Jon M. Chu doesn't have enough respect for the audience to even give them that. Instead, we are mindlessly treated to fast shots of punches being thrown, with no idea who is throwing them, why, or if we should care.

Seriously. We only know one thing. The good guys will always win. Never a good sign when you go to the movies to know how they end, with no conscious minding of what it will take to get there. Don't waste your money, my friends. Still, more muscular contractions ache this bastard of a performer.

Those involved knew this was just a paycheck - examine the evidence; Dennis Quaid did not return, and subsequently they need Bruce Willis to carry the big name legacy. Channing Tatum has his screen time terminally reduced, not a great sign because most audiences will probably be wanting to see the film solely for his performance. The writer was clearly hired to write a how-to on perfecting scripts for CGI based stories. This wouldn't be such an insult to film purists and enthusiasts alike if it wasn't such a dreary waste of time and money. There is nothing there in terms of story or structure. The movie starts, and it's action scenes strung together with no link. Then you leave. I would disclose such a plot to entice what viewers may challenge the notion of wasting their money if such a plot existed! It's a disgusting practice of show-off acrobatics by computer geniuses that would be better suited decrypting or ciphering codes left behind from the Zodiac Killer or the Unabomber! This is not why we go to the movies. We go to be entertained, and I predict that many an audience member be robbed of their hard earned cash in this recession, and by such standards and caused an equal recession in film quality! Honestly, there has to be a better place for films in today being tomorrow's history, than this!

An early release for such a seemingly summer blockbuster - it's obvious Paramount wants to get this one out of the way, so they don't have to worry about a summer release tanking to the bottom of the swimming pool (a place where the pre-teens normally disposed to this mendicant tar would be better off spending the day.) It's futile to promote a product without any real integrity, or so I thought. Amazing what a little muscle can do. It's already seen some couple million smackers (across the face!) for it's previews and advance releases, but when it all comes down, G.I. Joe: Retaliation is one hunk of movie that holds a strong PR campaign in it's biceps, but can't think for itself, and never latches on to the timeless fact that the real strength of a movie lies in it's story and it's characters, both factors of the machine that are simultaneously weak.

Charlie's Angels: An Angel's Trail (1980) Season 4, Episode 20

Nice final appearance for Farrah on the show that made her.

[10/10 · 3 August 2011]

Another user, robrosenberger, was right in his review for this episode of the popular Aaron Spelling show. Farrah's final appearance on "Angels" is an appropriate one. In it, she brings her character, Jill Monroe to a full closure in, as the above stated reviewer rightly described as a tear-jerking finale. Though I admit I was in tears before this final moment. The episode concerns itself with the kidnapping of Jill Monroe, and the Angels' attempt to rescue her. Kris is indubitably in a tassel over her sister's disappearance, and Kelley and Tiffany are given ample screen time and material to support Kris, but the episode really belongs to Jill, and what she does both to survive, and to be good to one of her captors, the mentally retarded son of the main bad guy (Jones.) This was a pretty deep episode and Farrah plays it to perfection, like only she could. It has the same level of intensity as an earlier Jill Monroe-centered episode, "The Angel Trap" in which Jill sees that there are two sides to a hit man the Angels are trying to trap (Fernando Lamas) and is torn between catching him, or helping him. Didn't want to give too much away. The plot, as read above is fairly simple, but interesting writing, great turns from Farrah and her co-stars make this episode a winner.

Casino Royale (2006)

Brilliant!

[10/10 · 25 November 2006]

A New Bond. A lighter touch. A more humane side to Bond. And a damn good theme song make this one of the strongest Bond films in the LONGEST time. Filled with action packed sequences from beginning to end, the film defines what a new age Bond film is supposed to mean in this day and age, and in many ways, this defies how most films are made today and what exactly they are. This film has the highest degree of style and class as far as acting, direction, cinematography, editing, music, you name it, it has it.

But one of the stronger elements of this film is the knack it has for human interest. It has a lot of human interest to be explored, from Bond's yearning, learning relationship throughout, to his ripe curiosity for who he really is, and what he must do, and what he feels for those who is exacting revenge. Of course it is designed to be an action "Bond" film, but goes much deeper than the usual Bond fare.

All in a word, every aspect of this film is just simply put - Brilliant. Exactly what a film made today should be. And the effects are all pretty modern. Only used CGI TWICE in this film...something that cannot usually be said about films today. Brilliant.

One more thing: Daniel Craig is the MAN!

Desperate Housewives (2004–2012)

My Final Thoughts: This show is done for.

[22 January 2006]

When "Desperate Housewives" first premiered in early fall of 2004, it was a major and vast hit: It was the number one show of television for the week, and audiences all over were enthralled and taken with the likable characters and equally likable actors who portrayed them. The show then was able to make more appropriate ends meet; there were magazine articles, and reviews hysteria, with each one of the 'housewife' actresses getting the proper amount of attention and stardom. The ratings soared, and sky rocketed; the producers, and writers were satisfied, the plot lines worked perfectly. Each housewife had a storyline that lasted the entire season, only one really big desperation for each one, but one that was real and enough to soak up the satire and make it last an entire season, while giving audiences something to think about. Each housewife represented you or someone you knew, male or female, and though juiced with satire, the show had a gritty realism that was hard to shake off. When a housewife made a decision, shocking, or expected, it was with requited realism. and enough down to earth material, so that when a big moment occurred, it was Big! And it kept audiences tuning in for more week after week. After twenty - two episodes of almost perfect, entertaining satire, and wit, the season finale aired, and gave Mary Alice Young, the show's unseen narrator, a real purpose (not to mention a damn fine finale monologue) and gave audiences a real cliffhanger, everyone was waiting to see what was next....

Next came in the form of an episode called 'Next', as the season two opener. Though starting with a not so witty, more of an expected one note commentary by Mary Alice, who has no real value to the show anymore, and clumsy comedy that was inserted where it was not needed, the show still showed promise for an exciting season. But that is where I was wrong. The show had lost all that had made it work. It lost that fresh charm, the new realism, and likable wit and satire. Mary Alice speaks in monologues that are irrelevant, and some do not seem to make sense when you think about it. The characters are not the strong women that they were, they are false, and totally bogus, not believable for a second, except for a few good turns by Felicity Huffman, and Marcia Cross, and a couple by Teri Hatcher, but as for the rest of them, they all seemed to become more like caricatures instead of the characters we came to love. They act out of line, like complete idiots who don't know what to do with their lives, and the story lines became short lived, and some real good ones were never resolved, while others were far fetched and resolved in a short second, then dropped as if they never happened. Most of all, the biting satire, the women in power, and the 'all is well that ends well as long as I said so' motifs are completely gone and forgotten.

Alas, 'Desperate Housewives' has become just another nighttime soap opera. It always was, but as I said, it had a biting satire, comedic touch, that no one could really label. It was new, fresh, original, and in your face. No matter what you thought, you could not turn away from it, and had to know more. Now, about 3/4 through the second season, I honestly dread to think how they are going to pull the show back together. The ratings are dropping ever so slightly, and there seems to be more stupid plot development and bad episodes. The only thing desperate about it now is that the characters are no longer desperate, and the audience seems to be flailing. It is typical dysfunction among the crowds and in a few seasons, two or three, at the most, the show will disappear, and people will forget all about it, because there is nothing memorable about it anymore.

This show went from a seemingly loud message begging to be heard, to pure escapism, not a formula that suites it. I guess I can say I was with a show of pop culture phenomena for awhile, but this just goes to show that nothing good lasts forever. Oh well, as a review said about another wasted opportunity of a show: There was almost a good show there once.

Invasion (2005–2006)

Intriguing and worth a look: The pilot.

[21 September 2005]

After watching the pilot for this new show I have come to the conclusion that it is at least worth a look. The show has a good and almost intellectual pilot episode that is sure to lead to some pretty good twists and excitement. The acting was not top notch but suited the supernatural surrealistic feel the show was giving off. The settings were realistic and gave the feeling that you were actually there, while the thunderstorm sequence also worked really well.

The pace of the show held really well considering the fact, of controversy or just conflict, the show was a real doozy. A lot may have seemed to be given away in the teasers you see on TV, but don't let those fool you. The show actually has taken a completely different turn on the first episode, leaving me wanting to know more.

I say this show is off to a good start, and I sure can't wait to see what is in store for these likable, often moot characters.

War of the Worlds (2005)

Mr. Spielberg, I shall scream.

[3/10 · 4 July 2005]

Almost tenable take on the H.G. Wells classic story about aliens and their attempt to take on earth. Bad dad Cruise is struggling minimum wage maker (a REAL stretch for a bad actor as old Tommy) who has to take care of his two kids he barely knows. Then the terror starts, with unrelenting lightening storms and hail as big as shot glass. Then it is revealed what is causing all this...

Films like this film have come along for the past five or six years, and in that time, the CGI method has grown haggard. This film is no exception, but that is only the small part to this mess of a film by the once eminent Steven Spielberg. The film starts with a diminutive aspect ratio of 1.85:1, rather than the (ex) maestro's regular 2.35:1 aspect ratio that was seen in such classics as "Jaws" and "1941." Not that this is too big a problem, but it is usually a more accessible film if the scope is properly attributed to. Morgan Freeman is a delightful actor, and it is no surprise that he bolds a narration that seems like it was put in just to compare to the original "War.." back in '53. But Freeman does his job like he should and the film is given a sort of feel we as an audience can rely on...if not anything else. The film is surely not introduced as a CGI driven film at a first glance, which is one thing that actually can be said about it.

Then it happens: we see her: the one: the only: the HORRIBLE: Dakota Fanning. She may seem like a cuddly little brat, but she chews her scenes like a tootsie roll. Who needs child starlets. Not me. Anyway onward and almost upward, to what was the first real bullet to this film. The build ups were as scatterbrained as a child's made up nightmare. The whole opening is really rushed. We do not get a chance to get to really know this family, or care about them for that matter. We see daddy and rebel son cussing each other out, and not - so- daddy's girl being obnoxious and sarcastic with daddy. Then they just HAD to show a shot of a half naked Tom Cruise. A body does not a good film make. And then when "things" begin to happen, there is no empathy with these characters as they have to live with each other to survive. There are some really good ideas for building up to the invasion, that are maimed by flimsy attempts at jumping at the audience, and if that isn't enough, character are brought on who just get killed off, it's like, why bother getting cast members just to kill them, why even write these people. Of course I know why, but that isn't really the point. By now the best things in the film were the theatrical marks.

"Spielbergisms" were few in this film, as if it was not him at all, as if someone were playing some game, or taking film-making as a game. So the buildups are taking place, and they throw earthquakes into the mix. I could swear Williams' score sounded just like his fabulous "Earthquake" score, and I can tell you right now I would rather have been watching Earthquake than this. And furthermore, there are goofs on top of goofs. Example? ALL electricity in the city, be it from cars, watches, digital, etc. All get shut off, and then later we see a guy FILMING an alien attack! What happened to there not being electricity? There are plenty more where that came from. The film basically seems to be an "Independance Day" rip off. However I would choose this over ID4.

The film was in a nutshell, too long and rather silly, as unbelievable plot points are scattered through out the film, like aliens being smart enough to place human victims in minuscule cages when it is explained that these machines were built BEFORE MANKIND! Totally insane.

There was one thing to save this film(philosophically, anyway) and that was the reoccurring theme of terrorism and communism. Such as references to the burning of the Jews, to when 9/11 hit, to when characters think (at first) that the country is under attack. Spielberg has done so much better than this, that the film almost doesn't even deserve a review. It may have a moment here or there, but it is not enough to cover the fact this film, be it a Spielberg/amblin film, is as contrived as a Lucasfilm inc. If you want to see a good Spielberg/alien film, watch "Close Encounters of the Third Kind."

If there is anything more to say, it is to Mr. Spielberg himself that I am sick of films like this coming out: Mr. Spielberg, I shall scream, I shall scream, till they hasten to my rescue I shall scream, and that film was not too cozy see my cheeks are are getting rosy though if I sat there for an hour you would have had me in your power, and I would scream scream scream!

3.3/10

The Initiation (1984)

Daphen Vs. Daphne?? {Spoilers}

[3/10 · 12 June 2005]

Okay, I think I know where I am going with this, ah yes, I am sure I do. "The Initiation" is an appalling attempt to cash in on the 'slasher films-with-surprise- ending' that were in the 'fad' in the early eighties to mid eighties. Much like "Sleepaway Camp" and "Happy Birthday to Me" there is a lot of build up and suspense that may actually hold some audience members, until a crash landing in the end destroys all hope for the film in general.

The film's main premise is on young Kelly(Daphne Zuniga, much before Melrose Place, or even "The Sure Thing" for that matter) who has been suffering a reoccurring dream all her life. Soon, murders begin to happen, and no one knows who is doing them, then on a night when Kelly and some friends are to do their 'initiation' into the college sorority they are attending, which is to frolic in a building owned by Kelly's father, a shopping mall of all places, someone else is watching them. Could this person have any relation to Kelly or her nightmares that have been plaguing her?

...The answer? Yes and No. Ridiculous slasher film starts out slow and boring, then gets a bit interesting when Kelly's past is revealed, and the dreams BEGIN to make sense, but right before the sense can be fully made, the crash boom bang ending occurs and the killer is revealed. Beware, for the ending is not what may seem. Who knew you could have a film be made with an ending from a totally different script! Boy it was interesting to see Daphne Zuniga chasing Daphne Zuniga around threatening her life. When Daphne threatens Daphne, there is a new meaning to the word "Gross Anatomy."

On the better notes(not like they really are) Zuniga holds her own well here, with no help whatsoever from predictably bitchy Vera Miles, as Kelly's mother. the rest of the cast, including young soap star Hunter Tylo, do their best, but Daphne is the only real actor in this, and so, the film crashes and burns like it's stupid ending!

If you want a good shock ending, watch "Clue."

It was Daphne Zuniga in the shopping mall with the garden tools!

3.5/10

The Dorm That Dripped Blood (1982)

Only worth it to see Daphne Zuniga

[2/10 · 8 June 2005]

The two things are are good about this film are it's two unknown celebrities.

First, Daphne Zuniga, in her first appearance in a film, young and supple, with looks that still encompass her body today, steals the very beginning, which is all she is in, and that is that. She is obviously just starting out because her acting improved with her next projects.

Second, the score by then known composer Christopher(Chris) Young is what keeps this stinker from getting a one star...yeah, I know one star more is not much, but in this movie's case, it is a lot.

The rest is just stupid senseless horror of a couple a college students who try to clean out a dorm that is due for being torn down, getting offed one by one by an unsuspecting killer, blah, blah, blah...we all know where this is going.

Watch the first eighteen minutes with Daphne Zuniga, then turn it off.

Star Wars: Episode III - Revenge of the Sith (2005)

Nothing like taking a shower at the movies: 'Dynasty' in deep space throttle!

[3/10 · 21 May 2005]

With a film that supplies as much soap and sudziness as this, just bring an "Evian" water and add a bit to the mix and you will be clean within the first ten minutes. With the inevitability coming along from the first two installments, the audience already knows what is going to happen, so why throw in any surprises? It won't do any good, and so they didn't. Almost predictable in every way, this film follows the after adventures of Padme and Anakin Skywalker, after "Episode II" and their secret love affair(played out a la Pamela Barnes Ewing and Bobby Ewing, with awful results) and it's affects on Skywalker, apparently this is one of the key factors in why he became Darth Vader. No, there is no way this could have been enjoyable. The characters are all running around doing nothing and Yoda's little "Dialogue-This is" speeches are played out way too much and far too blandly. But that isn't all when it comes to the dialogue. All the words and actions are so cardboard, the film as a result, comes out uninvolved and totally lacking in everything that made the first three(or the last two for that matter) worth one single viewing!

The drama is played out way too much like a soap opera, consisting of Sex, Greed, Politics, backstabbing, and betrayal-i.e. "Dynasty" in deep space throttle. Where are the meanings in the scenes or actions? Where is the social commentary that the first three contained. Nowhere here. This was such a waste of time and money, from audience and filmmakers. Do yourselves a favor and just trust what you learned in "A New Hope" for a replacement of knowledge rather than seeing this much. Totally uninvolved, and too soapy. Might as well watch "Dynasty" on Soapnet!

I give it a three for James Earl Jones return and for the always reliable John Williams score that never ceases to amaze, and what is really the sole rock this film can (barely) stand on.

Dear Frankie (2004)

Touching and Soft.

[9/10 · 19 May 2005]

Gerard Butler will no doubt be known for his role in "Phantom of the Opera" but this film gives a better performance than the previously mentioned. In this Film, a young boy, Frankie(terrific performance by Jack McElhone) who only wants to meet his father. His mother, a tired, but strong mother(Beautifully done by Emily Mortimer) who keeps Frankie's father's identity a secret. The charm is the love this boy has for a father who he hasn't even known. When circumstances with the boy's social life force a bet to be made, his mother does not want to break her sons heart, so she gets a "stranger" to act as Frankie's dad. Butler, as the stranger, is no "Stranger" to a role filled with mystique and wonder, and his role is delicately played here with silence and care.

The chemistry between Butler and the kid is just right, as is the chemistry between the kid and his mother. A real gem in this film is Mary Riggans as the kid's Grandma, who steals nearly every scene she's in. All actors portray their roles with realism and naturalistic tones. Also good is the photography of location shooting Scotland, and the music by Alex Heffes. The direction is good, and the print is a well done film. A film that teaches us that it is not who we are, but who we love and who loves us that counts, and no one can take that away from any of us.

Well done, Gerard!

Raising Helen (2004)

Fun, but awfully familiar.

[6/10 · 16 May 2005]

Raising Helen was a fun movie, particularly Kate Hudson in the lead and a cameo by the always great Felicity Huffman. Familiar story covers a young woman(Hudson) who "inherets" her dead sisters kids. Naturally, she being a young and free fun loving you adult, gets taste of real life and grows up.

Predictable in every way, this is nonetheless a stylish and snappy vehicle to Hudson, but the regret should come from Marshall, who should know better than to direct such familiar territory. Not at all as great as familiar films of earlier times. "Earthquake" was very familiar, but was done with such style and great casting, that the audience forgot. Now, it is distant and nowhere near familiar, as the disaster film is a forgotten Hollywood hoax, yet nearly all of those films(Poseidon Adventure; Towering Inferno; Earthquake; Avalanche; The Swarm; City on Fire, etc.) remain timeless and classic.

One day, maybe this film will be looked upon the same way...

The Lion, the Witch & the Wardrobe (1979 TV Movie)

Friendly version of the classic novel.

[10/10 · 16 May 2005]

C.S. Lewis' "The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe" will forever remain one of the most timeless allegories, and stories in fiction, and lessons ever written. It was inevitable that this gem of a story be done for the sake of media, and no better a way to have been done as so in 1979. Featuring the voices of unknowns, this animated version, done by the "Peanuts" gang, put together drawn sequences, and still frames to piece together a wonderfully told version.

The story revolves around young Lucy, who enters the land of Narnia through an old wardrobe at the house of a professor which they are staying at during the war. Naturally, she shows this world to her siblings, exciting and dangerous adventures follow. Great story kids are able to follow but even more fun for older people as well. The story is told to perfection, as most every line is directly from the book, and given in such realism, it is hard to believe you are watching a small television program, and not something more. The action scenes are just right for the kiddies and the exposition scenes are full of enough intellect for adults to boot.

Music score is beautiful, and full of life, like "Narnia." I am an adult and I still love this film, cannot get enough of it. Great especially for film buffs or those like myself who enjoy talking about films to that level.

10/10

Monster-in-Law (2005)

Beautiful/Garbage

[7/10 · 13 May 2005]

Jane Fonda is one of the three best actresses(others being Meryl Streep, Susan Sarandon) in the world today. And the fact that she came out of retirement meant so much to myself and all other fans of Lady Jane. She is indeed most wondrous fair, lips that shame a rose, eyes that put Bette Davis to shame, etc. But why is someone so BEAUTIFUL put next to a pop culture nightmare of TRASH like Jennifer Lopez? Why she would is totally beyond me. Jane works the screen for the first time in fifteen years as if not even fifteen seconds has past since her last on screen role...with dignity, grace, and fabulous acting and emotion...no wonder she is the most fabulous woman on this earth! Predictable in almost every way, this film follows Viola, and Charles(Says a lot about Lopez, don't it?) and their attempt to manipulate the male star(Varitan, who cannot act to save his life! Just another pretty face!) into falling into their own traps, while they try to keep the other on the bottom side of their plans. Viola wants to get Charles out of her sons life, while Charles wants to get married, and get rid of her mother in law.

Fonda is what makes this film worthwhile. She is slick, smart, and knows what she is doing. Also good is Wanda Sykes as her sidekick, whereas a great cameo by Elaine Stritch is also as entertaining, the modern, conformist cast such as Lopez, Varitan, and their friends in the cast are so out of place alongside Fonda, and Stritch. They were like frogs next to the swans. Next thing you know they'll have a remake of the Roman Spring of Mrs. Stone starring Meryl Streep and this kid! I ask you, what are films today coming to? There is NO talent these days except for actors who have been around for at least ten years.

But this film should do you right nice. It has laughs, and Jane Fonda. Jane will go on to better scripts again...does not she always. It's okay, you can ignore JLo, who wilts in every scene she is in next to Fonda.

Cheers to Lady Jane!!!

Hitch (I) (2005)

Do NOT see this!

[1/10 · 12 May 2005]

Will Smith has got to be the most overrated actor in Hollywood. Why America continues to put out to movies that make no sense and are only made for non talented actors like Smith to try and charm his way into households across the country and these producers are letting it happen! This movie was no where near entertaining and I for one would like to see that more capable movies like "earthquake" are given the justice than this stinky little piece of garbage! Who needs a man to help hook people up? It's just another film like that stupid "JLo" film "The Wedding Planner" and has no business. If people want to see a feel good movie, watch "Sticky Fingers" starring the divine Helen Slater. That will make you laugh! Boot this one off the Island!

Earthquake (1974)

Great fun and a little bit educational.

[10/10 · 5 May 2005]

What can I say about "Earthquake" that hasn't already been said before? A cast that includes Charlton Heston, Ava Gardner, Lorne Greene, Genevieve Bujold, George Kennedy, and Victoria Principal, head this great story of Los Angeles and the lives that are affected by those who live their after a tremor registers at 7,1! The lives and lifestyles of these people, some pleasant, and some not, are put to the test as they are forced to deal with the cause and effect of having a thriving city on tectonic plates, that are rapidly moving. A gem of a film, ridiculed to no end because of varying opinions that should not matter to one of those inquiring minds! Ugh! And they say smoking is bad for you. People need to open their minds, and see. See that this film is not half as bad as most say it is. True, this film is a big Hollywood monopoly fest, and their are no unknowns to be seen, as you have Charlton Heston(Ben-Hur); Ava Gardner(MGM actress); Genevieve Bujold(Anne of a Thousand Days); among others, and even co-stars as Richard Roundtree(Shaft) and Victoria Principal(Dallas.) The cast works really well together, and the print shines.

There are a lot of facts explored here, such as animals crying out or running away moments before the quakes, that really give chills out of the reality of it. These are the really great things that happen, and give excitement, not artificial scares made up for the ongoing monopoly that this film has such a reputation for, but rather realistic knowledge that shows what might happen would such a quake strike the earth at such force. Also of note are the scenes with the dam, and the water rising after each "pre-shock" while a man falls out of an elevator full of water, drowned from it.

Great sets as well. Many sets are being torn apart in the quake scenes, while maintaining the reality of sets the tone.

The effects, which won a very deserved Oscar, are what really opens the audience's eyes. We see the valley, we see Capital Records, we see Wilshire, and even Zsa Zsa Gabor's bushes get totally eschewed during the disaster. What is really amazing, is that such matting and blue screen was put to use, that to this day, I still scratch my head on how it was all done. It would really be nice to see a featurette on how they did it all. Those scenes, in which there is an after shock, show millions of people running from a huge building that is literally falling to pieces before our very eyes! Amazing stuff. There is truly beauty in this film when looked for. An event... as the tagline reads is right. Every one knows earthquakes cause damage, but how much damage is seen? It was amazing to see Los Angeles fall to pieces, and show the rest of the world what it would be like were a 7.1 ricter scale.

Equally great is the Mario Puzo script. The first thing that drew me to this film was how well it pulls the audience into the drama between the characters. Think, in recent films, "Magnolia" meets "Volcano." The relationship between Heston and Gardner, while, can be laughable due to the nature of two divas facing off, is still capable of being appreciated. George Kennedy as a worn out cop plays strictly for drama, and even though he is inter cut with Walter Matthau as a sleazy barman cameo, he gets some seriousness for himself in the end. The structure of the film, from the setting up of the characters some fun(like Principal as Rosa Amici with her friend Roundtree as a daredevil) or characters that you can relate to(Bujold is great as aspiring actress.) As for the development of the disaster itself, the way the tremors start as small, and then the big shake, and then the after shock, builds really well, and the characters, with their emotional baggage and structured emotions deep, intertwine and create a great story that is fun for all.

Sensurround was a fast growing mechanism used in films and was fully extent in this one. Many people see this technique as the only reason this film was made, and yes, this was a big Hollywood picture made for monopoly purposes, but there was art in it from the artists who those big wigs hired.

There is a really good film here, and it still stands to this day. Great score by John Williams and there is a website you can go to to further understand the film as it is.

In the end, even though the reviews have not given this film the justice it deserved, the loyal filmmakers that appreciate art and the joy of dedication and film-making have kept this film where it belongs, with the reputation it deserves.

K-PAX (2001)

Charming

[7/10 · 29 April 2005]

A film that sets out to ask you all kinds of questions in all kinds of ways, using both imagination and psychology to do so, is a film that shouldn't be missed. Kevin Spacey and Jeff Bridges star in this charming tell tale of a man, never seen before in New York City, claiming he is alien and from another planet in another galaxy, called K-PAX. He is smart, and knows all about astrology, and other types of science in that department.

Touching as a commentary on society as it is a family film. In the style of films in the nineteen seventies, such as Lumet and Donner, this film is dealt on adult levels, and adults will probably be the ones who get the most out of it.

Commenting on society, Prot(Spacey) prances through the film in sheer delight, and it is delightful to watch him perk p the patients of the mental institution of which he is placed(after a false communication in the film's opening) and Bridges character is trying to understand the truth, as to whether Spacey is real genuine article or just a hoax with Disassociative Identity Disorder.

The interesting thing here is that you could go both ways, there are traces of DID, and also traces that he could be telling the truth. He is very smart, here, Spacey's Prot, and he knows so much about our solar system(and his) that one is kept believing until the final minute.

I did not think I would like this film, but I do...very much. And I recommend it to anyone with an imagination. Give it a try...

7/10

Blow Out (1981)

The Zenith of Brian De Palma's Films.

[10/10 · 17 April 2005]

A film starring John Travolta in the early eighties was sure to attract attention, but that did not mean it would necessarily be good. A film about conspiracy, murder, and politics would not take in the best at the box office, but that did not make it bad. Well, in the world at the time "Blow Out" was released, John Travolta's career was beginning to fade and more people were being taken in by Science Fiction and slasher(which is noted and poked fun at in the film's opening) films and did not want to use neurons to enjoy this film. Not a wise choice. "Blow Out" is a psychological and poignant film about the curiosity and outcomes surrounding the death of a politician. When Jack Terry (Travolta, in what may be his best, but most underrated role to date) is out catching sounds for a film he is putting together, he records(and therefor, witnesses) a car get it's tire blown out and fall into the nearby river. Astounded, he jumps into the car and finds there to be a dead driver, but a woman, very much alive and in distress. He rescues her, and both are taken to the hospital. It is revealed that the lady's name is Sally Bedina(Nancy Allen, in one of her best roles also) and the man she was with is the man who was most likely to be the next president, Gov. McRyan. Chaos ensues when Jack finds out (through his sound recordings) that the car was not hit by a flat tire, but that someone may have shot the tire out, as an assassination. As Sally and Jack delve deeper and deeper into the mystery, someone is out there, watching them, waiting, with an agenda of his own. Cleverly written thriller, which keeps you on the edge of your seat through the entire film, never lets up, and suggests what most films(especially in today's times) will not-Conspiracy. In every sense of the word-in the government, in the working classes, in humanity in general. A take from an earlier film, Antonioni's "Blow Up" which was released in nineteen sixty-six, this film explores the diversity of human emotions, and motivations. All the characters are clearly developed, and all with different aspects about them.

Jack, is a sound man, doesn't seem to care much about opulence, and is an all around type of guy. He is punctual and very quick to find the truth. His psychosis suggests a character which stands to morals, sharp judgment, and a very likable guy in general. John Travolta plays Jack out with sensitivity, profound genuity, and adroit intricacy. As the lead, the film rests well on his shoulders...and with the help from the rest of the fine cast as well.

Sally is a naive young woman, full of choices and ambition. She is from a more darker side of history, doing odd jobs for money just to get by, and certainly has more morals than she would let on. She is a very nice and heartful person, but is also afraid of her life ending up wrong. This is where you can see a dark past, and the way Nancy Allen plays her out surely lets the audience know. Allen had passion for this role, and the role itself is not an easy role to fill, there are emotions discreet, and a lot of pain. However, Allen flourishes as she speaks with mannerisms that transcend any other role she portrayed. I learned to like Sally from the moment she opened up to the audience.

A supporting turn from Dennis Franz, who is always a reliable actor, makes up for the perfect example of a good supporting role, albeit it offensive in the least.

The film can much be compared to the Kennedy assassination, as a politician was killed, and the conspiracy theories were tossed and turned in the tabloids, who are seen in this film as one of the real enemies, but there are many more. One other thing this film proves is that there are Blow outs in the mind, as well as in the film. The more our two heroes find out, the more the art of this film comes clear, and their minds are toyed with, but we as an audience see this, as part of making this a terrific viewing experience. This film was not a success, as far as money goes, but this film is clearly one of De Palma's best efforts, right up there with Scarface and The Untouchables. It is a touching and central effort, with likable characters, a grandiose Pino Donaggio score(one of the maestro's finest) and an ending that will rock your mind. The political undertones are fully understood at the films end, which is something not seen at all today. This is a really good film to show to film classes, film-making classes, film appreciation classes, etc.

All in all, one helluva viewing experience, and one that never gets old either, making it one of De Palma' finest hours.

The Amityville Horror (2005)

America is Sick.

[1/10 · 17 April 2005]

This is a national disgrace. The movie that all critics have been blasting gets to the number one place on the Box Office charts...it't too bad that America has fallen to such low as to support terrible money making monopoly. I have not seen this film, but I do not have to. The fact that this film even made it to the top ten is enough to make you wonder how people these days are helping the world. ...And they wonder why SAT and ACT scores are failing...this movie is the answer. The original film made in the late seventies which starred Margot Kidder was not the best piece of cinema work, but it had art to it and the people who made it put their best in a script that was somewhat lackluster. With this mish mash of a remake, there is nothing to celebrate. All the actors are pretty faces who can't act and a crew who would more likely work on the next music video for KoRn or Maralyn Manson. This was a really bad music video full of corny dialogue, and even worse plotting. Adding to an already complete story maybe good for money, but as for the audiences...

I hope in ten years, people look back on this film and realize the stupidity which this film was concocted.

The Ring Two (2005)

The Ring Two: The Heretic!!!!!!!!!

[1/10 · 19 March 2005]

Naomi Watts could not save this. Not even a descent performance by herself could save this this mish mash of a sequel that had the same affect as Exorcist II: The Heretic. By the climax, EVERY one around me in the theater was laughing. No joke. The dialogue becomes unbearably tedious and the plot becomes atrociously abstruse. The film follows Rachel Keller into Oregon where she tries to forget the events of the first one, but then Samara shows up wanting a mommy... and that is the point of the film. All that CGI crap for absolutely nothing. And that is exactly what this film is. No, really, I am not going to dignify this film with a review worth reading. I am sure Naomi Watts would rather have changed Samara's diaper then done this film!

This film honestly has no guts, spunk, or attitude that the first film had. This film is a bunch of special effects covering up a paper thin plot.

Avoid like the plague!!

1 Star!

The Day the Loving Stopped (1981 TV Movie)

All about Dominique!

[10/10 · 13 March 2005]

What a pleasure! Back in the early 80's and so forth till about the early 90's, made for television films were produced like theatrical films, but had morals to be seen. They were no where near as cheesy and soapy as the many thousands of television films that are made today. This film follows Judy Danner(Dominique Dunne) as she approaches her wedding day, and all the fears in between. Her parents have been divorced for awhile now, so she is afraid she will end up like them...what happens when the loving stops?

A lot of touching moments here, especially with Dunne's fine performance in the lead, helped by her co stars. Ally Sheedy pales next to Dunne's expertise. The rest of the cast is fine as well.

Marriage is a commitment, that is what this film is saying, that people should get married because they want to, not because they have to. And shucks, who wouldn't want to marry Dominique Dunne? More than anyone can say for the thousands of stupid lifetime original movies that are made today. The Lee Holderidge score is also worth mentioning, as the theme song sounds like a poem, a vast advance for films of this kind of budget.

Give it a try, if you can find it!

CBS Children's Mystery Theatre: The Haunting of Harrington House (1981) Season 2, Episode 1

Very tame and entertaining family film.

[10/10 · 4 March 2005]

No one ever really gets to see Dominique Dunne in all her glory as an actress, probably because all her really known performances were in big productions(Poltergeist; Diary of a Teenage Hitchhiker, etc.) which she had a smaller role. This film, a film she holds entirely on her shoulders with as much capability as the next Meryl Streep, deals with a young Polly Ames(Dominique Dunne) who has come home from boarding school. and discoverers strange happenings at her father's owned hotel. Naturally, her instinct tells her to find out what is going on. Family film succeeds in putting together a mood setting film, that everyone can enjoy. Dunne is seen here in her first really big role, and she plays it with suave and smooth like a pro. Great locations and camera angles, and of course, Dominiques big brown eyes are the eye candy, while kids will enjoy the "bump in the night" feel this film has to it. Hope this film gets a DVD release soon!

Saw (2004)

It ain't "Last House..." But comes really close!

[30 October 2004]

In Wes Craven's film "Last House on the Left" two teenage girls are kidnapped, taken into woods nearby one of them's house, and tortured literally to death. Then the killers are met by sterner justice from the parents who lived in the last house on the left. This film included disembowelment, chest carving, stabbing, choking, shooting, fist thrown...the works. And to top it all off to boot, Craven had a social commentary to add to the already intense storyline.

This film was a lot like "Last House..." with the exception of the moral at the end. this film was a plain, scare the pants off ya, turn the lights on in the middle of the night, scream out loud till ya barf twice go crazy, deadbolt your doors, pray you die early type of scare film. Two men are locked in a sewage room and must try to kill one another in order to be free. Other characters and lot twist are added along the way. But the film is executed unnervingly!

Elwes and the other dude were really great in their roles. Danny Glover, as a dried out, discharged obsessed cop was great with what little time he had on screen. The rest of the cast did their own little private parts to make it pleasant. Intense character build up creates a surrealistic atmosphere that makes the audience concentrate on exactly what is going on.. creepy stuff.

Audiences who see this will probably not be sleeping for awhile...

Don't see it alone!

Seeing Other People (2004)

Intelligent look at adult relationships.

[10/10 · 17 August 2004]

Intense, funny, witty, and more than anything, social comedy on the ways of adult dating and it's results-be it good or bad. Mohr and Nicholson are engaged couple two months away from a wedding date, when a bizarre event at their engagement party forces Nicholson to re-think the relationship and start to date other people so she won't feel so pristine when it comes to sexual experience. This leads to a disaster of events following Mohr, Nicholson, and their cohorts. Very intelligent and needed in this time of clumsy, condescending comedy, while containing your usual variety of comedic, sexual, and frustrated characters(especially Charles as a sexually frustrated sex fiend...very annoying) who even they seem to get the right feel to this heart felt commentary.

The film goes the way films should go these days, showing that guys are sensitive at heart and have morals. Most of the male characters are the moralistic, straight forward eyes, while the woman are the fresh faced street prowlers who will stop at nothing to get pleasure. Guys will be appreciative of the message made for guys with self respect, however it is easy to assume that most males who DO see this film will use it's message of male sensitivity cover up any flaw or trait that a female might find offending. Still, the writing formula uses this as a tool to pave the way for it's male leads, particularly those of Mohr, Richter, and finding the director in a cameo as a sales man!

The females are by far the most promiscuous as they speak of nothing but pleasure and what it would be like to... with someone else. They have amicable traits though, even though they are covered by the image of sex driven kittens. Very funny stuff.

On another level, the film follows some of it's ensemble into different relationship work. Richter meets up with a stressed divorcée(a VERY remarkable and noteworthy performance by the always reliable Helen Slater) named Penelope who is divorced with a son who hates her for splitting with his father. As the two go deeper into a relationship, human interest is revealed and both the comedy and tragedy of divorce and starting anew are studied.

By the end of the film, Mohr and Nicholson have become way to deep over the heads to see what's coming next, and it is up to what they have learned about each other and themselves to decide what will come next. It becomes appropriate and dramatic at just the right time.

Wallodorski's direction is emulated very well when the characters learn to face each other after all that has happened...with the right ending.

All in all, this film should have been released nationwide, and I should hope that it is up for some Academy Awards...maybe Helen Slater can finally get the recognition she deserves. Anywho, this film is a no hits miss, give it all you got romantic sex farce, displayed very maturely and aesthetically.

Great film!

Black Christmas (1974)

Great film for both fans and regular film goers.

[9/10 · 16 August 2004]

This film was really great to watch when I saw it last Christmas. I was expecting more of a "Halloween" type film, except the fact that the always brilliant Margot Kidder was in it. So I was into it from the start. The film follows a sorority house on the days proceeding Christmas when a psycho stalker starts getting into the house and, quite frankly, under the girls skin. Then the murders begin. The

setting has been seen before, and so have the P.O.V. shots, but who cares?

This film was scary anyway.

Olivia Hussey is terrific and tense as the lead sorority sister, Jesse, who has the burden of dealing with all the other sisters' crisis problems. She looked really great too! And in the finale, she really played her role out for all it was worth.

Kier Dullea was descent. A little too humble for the role, and not as, well,

intimidating as he could have been. His scenes here are played out like a play. if not Broadway style, more conservative.

Margot Kidder, being as good as she is, was not surprisingly fabulous! Her

character was the rough tough stuff sister who drinks, swears, and is the only one of them who has the guts to show off some glitz.

The rest of the cast does just fine, particularly Andrea Martin as the soft spoken sister, John Saxon as the police chief who only wants to find the answer, and the actress who played Mrs. Mac was certainly worth the view too!

Writing wise this film was greatly and adroitly planned. The central theme of this film is that you can't trust anyone, friend or foe, and the scares are genuine, and come psychologically, instead of in your face like "Halloween" or "Friday the 13th." Bob Clark is in love with his actors as he photographs them in bright

exuberant colors, while his killer is photographed in jaundiced, grainy colors.

All in all, a very artistic film and very creepy to the bone. Great atmospheric music too!

Cutthroat Island (1995)

Everything a Pirate film should be!

[11 August 2004]

Fast paced, thrilling joyride about a female pirate(Davis), daughter of an age old pirate who is given a task before her father dies: to find a great treasure which her grandfather left behind on an expedition. However there is a catch: Her Uncle Dawg(Langella) is after the treasure too, and will stop at nothing to steal it from his niece, with swashbuckling adventurous results. This film is a great gem of a movie, and what a pirate film should be. Now a days you have films like "Pirates of the Caribbean" that take all the money at the box office, and get nominated for Academy Awards, but this film is all that one would hope for in a pirate movie. Geena Davis turns is a very credible performance as Morgan Adams, the female pirate with an attitude and a look that could kill. She creates a character that the audience can root for, as she kicks butt through the movie and delivers one liners that, while some might consider lame("You like to was things? Start with your mouth!") Are effective in the end due to honest portrayal. Real sex appeal too. Some of the scenes involving water are really satisfying to the male audience. One great thing for money making, but it is done artistically as well. Matthew Modine is fun as the slave Shaw, whom is hired to translate a map founded by Davis. He plays his role out as annoying but with a little wit and charm. The best part of this film can be said to be Patrick Malahide as the canning Gov. Ainslee. This is a real funny character, while not much in the film, steals every scene he is in. Langella is a treat as the villain of the film, Captain Dawg. Very vile and reptilish, something that heroin Davis can play off of. The direction is superb. Renny Harlin had done his fair share of action films prior to this film so he really knew what he was doing. With a budget like the one this film has how can an action director go wrong! I really enjoyed his style. Especially in the first chase scene. The music is the heart of the film, as composer John Debney created an all too wonderful score to play with Morgan and her mates as they sail to victory, to the battles of the evil Dawg, to the beautiful opening credits which photograph Malta all too beautifully. Possibly one of the ten best scores of the nineties, this soundtrack soars with beauty and swashbuckling adventure and not a song is to be missed! The cinematography is to be mentioned too, as the cliffs of Malta and wherever else this film was shot are brought out to aesthetic ebullience!

All in all, this film has all that a film goer can want in an action film: It has action, sex appeal, excitement, danger, widescreen, and a great ending! It's really too bad this film flopped, as I adore it and would have liked to see it win some awards of some sort! What an awesome film!