We watched this as a friend group, so in that way it was a fun night, but oh boy this was a stinker! One of the worst films I've ever seen. The acting is terrible. The best friend constantly makes a face like, "Who farted?" Diane Keaton's clothes are, predictably, bizarre and clownish. The secual chemistry between Keaton and the fake Property Brother was so cringe. We all screamed in disgust when they kissed! I agree with other reviewers, I also did not follow that the main character's grandma had raised her and was now deceased until the very end. The actress' enunciation was so poor I legit thought she said "Remy Martin" earlier, and had no idea why.
Reviews
17 Reviews
Oppenheimer
(I) (2023)
Too long, but worth seeing
24 July 2023
At least 30 minutes could be cut without losing any of the story. The time jumps are confusing, though not as frenetic as in Dunkirk. The story is interesting, and the acting is well done. The film fails the Bechdel test in every way, and is in that regard an anti-Barbie. There are a few female characters, but they only exist to expound the story of men. Kitty especially should have been featured more, rather than a crabby and bitter shell. Why was she so miserable? We can imagine, but would've been great to see her story.
The weirdest thing they did was leave Murphy's double pierced ear visible in multiple closeup scenes. It was distracting and easily fixable.
The weirdest thing they did was leave Murphy's double pierced ear visible in multiple closeup scenes. It was distracting and easily fixable.
Ozark
(2017–2022)
Tried too hard
8 February 2023
Warning: Spoilers
It's impossible not to compare Ozark and Breaking Bad, and Ozark is largely to blame for that. Ozark isn't bad exactly, it's just not very good. The pacing is slow. It is literally dark - even in the daytime. The characters kind of evolve over time, but only in sad ways. Huge goofs like how long it takes to drive between MO and Chicago, stand out as lazy research. After Buddy died, Ozark began a prolonged descent into awfulness. Finally season 4 is just 'shoot everybody' end of story. Finally, choosing to have the one likable character murdered by the one almost likable character, just ruined it all. This is not a show we'll ever revisit to rewatch.
M3GAN
(2022)
This is gold!
6 January 2023
This movie exceeded my expectations, which were pretty high based on the stellar trailer. By FAR. So many emotions. So many perfect lines. Fashion - impeccable. Dance - on point! For 102 minutes, I had no cares in the world. M3gan is a delightful excursion and escapism from the horrible dreariness of January. Please see and experience for yourself! You will laugh, cry, scream, all the feelings. At first, I was mad it didn't release at Christmas time like a normal movie but I was so wrong! This is EXACTLY what the world needs right now, in the bleak midwinter. I plan to watch it again and again.
Disenchanted
(2022)
Quite bad
1 January 2023
We were excited for this sequel, as we loved the original Enchanted and its soundtrack. We knew sequels rarely measure uo, so our expectations were low. Apparently not low enough! The entire plot is absurdity. Maya Rudolph was particularly awful in this. After half of the movie passed, I couldn't find a plot thread. The entire thing reminded me of the very bad Cinderella with Whitney Houston and Brandy: garish colors, cheap sets, pointless songs.
It could have been better, for sure. The "we need to move" reasoning was so flimsy. The biggest part of Enchanted's charm was. Giselle's naivete, and that aspect is gone in Disenchanted.
It could have been better, for sure. The "we need to move" reasoning was so flimsy. The biggest part of Enchanted's charm was. Giselle's naivete, and that aspect is gone in Disenchanted.
Mormon Temple Film
(1969)
Boring yet very expensive
25 October 2022
I've seen this film dozens of times at a very high cost, yet never enjoy it. Dull, contrived, poor acting, weird handshakes and circles of spooky prayer. The best part is operatic Satan speaking directly into the camera, warning viewers he will "reign down with BLOOD AND HORROR on this earth!" Classic. Otherwise wholly dull. Eve is an automaton who only speaks to Adam, not straight to God. God and Jesus wear hip white lamé gowns but go barefoot, inexplicably. Best part is a few breaks to be shown secret handshakes by elderly temple workers. 0/10 recommended. Use your 10% income to pay bills, travel, uplift the poor.
The Patient
(2022)
Too many holes, too short
18 September 2022
Warning: Spoilers
My main beef with this show is it's barely a show - 20 minute episodes in which very little happens. It should have been longer episodes or a movie.
Second to that criticism, the story simply makes no sense. The murderer goes to a psychiatrist because he wants to stop murdering, but none if his actions indicate he really wants to stop. His mother isn't going to turn him in. He gets pleasure from murdering.
It's also very unclear as to why he murders. He indicates he's a serial killer, yet he kills people he has a personal disagreement with, which doesn't add up. He doesn't seem to be scared of being caught or going to prison, so why would he want to stop?
Second to that criticism, the story simply makes no sense. The murderer goes to a psychiatrist because he wants to stop murdering, but none if his actions indicate he really wants to stop. His mother isn't going to turn him in. He gets pleasure from murdering.
It's also very unclear as to why he murders. He indicates he's a serial killer, yet he kills people he has a personal disagreement with, which doesn't add up. He doesn't seem to be scared of being caught or going to prison, so why would he want to stop?
The Hot Zone
(2019–2021)
Good, not quite as good as series 1
12 December 2021
Hot Zone: Anthrax explores aspects of the 2001 anthrax scares in ways I never heard at the time. I felt they gave away the conclusion a tad too early, and the timing feels weird (it apoears the investigation is happening weeks or months after 9/11, but in reality the investigation didn't conclude for 7 years). However, most of the acting is wonderful! A few anachronisms were distracting, like a Keurig, wall-mounted flat screen, and center-parted hairstyles were big misses for a 2001 setting, whereas Hot Zone series 1 was better about time period accuracy.
Dopesick
(2021)
Enlightening and heart-wrenching
12 December 2021
I didn't expect a lot from Dopesick but I was so wrong! The acting was incredible. The compassion you feel for the characters is deep. This series does an excellent job taking an abstract idea like "opioid crisis" and turning it into a concrete issue affecting relatable, realistic characters. I knew big pharna was shady but this really opened ny eyes to how actively evil they were (are), not only that they were passively inactive to stop addiction and deaths. Highly recommend!
You
(2018–2024)
No one is likable
12 December 2021
Warning: Spoilers
Probably aiming fora Dexter vibe, Joe Goldberg falls flat. He has no redeeming qualities. He's even bad at sex! But then other characters are so annoying, you are almost relieved as they get murdered. No one to root for, so I'm calling it quits after one season.
Knives Out
(2019)
Instantly a new favorite
7 January 2020
From the first second, Knives Out is FUN! The nods to Clue (also one of my favorite movies) were very appreciated. The characters are colorful and the plot is complex enough to keep you guessing how this is going to end. I actually went to see it in the theater twice, and enjoyed it even more the second time! The action and dialogue are fast and I missed a few quips the first time.
Brave
(2012)
Very sub-par for Pixar
23 June 2012
Our family loves Pixar films, so we eagerly anticipated the release of 'Brave.' However, we were very disappointed. It is the worst Pixar film we've ever seen.
The main character, Merida, is not a lovable heroine like Mulan; instead, she is a whining, bratty child. She has no endearing qualities like one would find in Snow White or Belle.
The plot does not make sense, either. Merida doesn't want to get married and believes if she changes her mother's mind on the matter, she won't have to. Nevermind the culture of the time and pressures of her father and her political system, right? It's nonsense that changing her mother's mind would have any effect on whether or not she'd have to get married.
We hadn't read a lot of reviews before going, so we were a little surprised by the whole plot, which is that Merida's mother is turned into a bear by Merida's selfish act of poisoning her with a cake she gets from a witch. The mother dealing with being in the bear body is funny for about thirty seconds. Unfortunately, it goes on for the majority of the film.
I guess we're supposed to see that mother and daughter find common ground in the woods and come to respect each other. However, emotionally, the film is completely flat. You will not find the loving family bonds from The Incredibles here! And forget about the heart string tugs you saw in Up... not happening in Brave.
The accents are over the top. Yeah, I get it, they're Scottish. But we're not. They could have toned that down a little.
The potty humor and grotesque portrayal of EVERY adult male in the film made it feel more like a lower-class Dreamworks film than a Pixar/Disney.
Overall, very disappointing. Had it been a Dreamworks, it would have been maybe a 7/10, but Pixar has set the bar so high with other films, that we really expected better.
The main character, Merida, is not a lovable heroine like Mulan; instead, she is a whining, bratty child. She has no endearing qualities like one would find in Snow White or Belle.
The plot does not make sense, either. Merida doesn't want to get married and believes if she changes her mother's mind on the matter, she won't have to. Nevermind the culture of the time and pressures of her father and her political system, right? It's nonsense that changing her mother's mind would have any effect on whether or not she'd have to get married.
We hadn't read a lot of reviews before going, so we were a little surprised by the whole plot, which is that Merida's mother is turned into a bear by Merida's selfish act of poisoning her with a cake she gets from a witch. The mother dealing with being in the bear body is funny for about thirty seconds. Unfortunately, it goes on for the majority of the film.
I guess we're supposed to see that mother and daughter find common ground in the woods and come to respect each other. However, emotionally, the film is completely flat. You will not find the loving family bonds from The Incredibles here! And forget about the heart string tugs you saw in Up... not happening in Brave.
The accents are over the top. Yeah, I get it, they're Scottish. But we're not. They could have toned that down a little.
The potty humor and grotesque portrayal of EVERY adult male in the film made it feel more like a lower-class Dreamworks film than a Pixar/Disney.
Overall, very disappointing. Had it been a Dreamworks, it would have been maybe a 7/10, but Pixar has set the bar so high with other films, that we really expected better.
Dolphin Tale
(2011)
Uplifting movie, but not the best execution
29 December 2011
Our family (mom, dad, 8 year old, 5 year old, 4 year old) saw this movie in a theater. We homeschool our children, and had heard it had a pro- homeschooling message. Also our kids loved Soul Surfer earlier in the year, and this seemed like it'd be similar to that.
Overall, it was a cute movie and good uplifting message. There is definitely a pro-homeschooling message. The boy is failing in traditional public school, and the lessons the summer school teacher is giving him are obviously pointless and not applicable to anything he might do in real life. The dolphin doctor's daughter is homeschooled and seems to be a happy, well-adjusted child.
In general however, the movie is slow and boring. There are only a few exciting parts, and otherwise it drags. Even the scenes with Morgan Freeman were lackluster. And Harry Connick Jr should really stick to singing or Will & Grace. His acting is flat and his character was not at all believable.
I would rate it less than 7/10 if not for the fact that we need more uplifting, wholesome movies like this! The execution just fell short in this case, but the story and the way it was put together to be appealing to both adults and children, was a great idea. I also appreciated that the adults were not made to be villains, as is often the case in movies where children are the main protagonists.
Overall, it was a cute movie and good uplifting message. There is definitely a pro-homeschooling message. The boy is failing in traditional public school, and the lessons the summer school teacher is giving him are obviously pointless and not applicable to anything he might do in real life. The dolphin doctor's daughter is homeschooled and seems to be a happy, well-adjusted child.
In general however, the movie is slow and boring. There are only a few exciting parts, and otherwise it drags. Even the scenes with Morgan Freeman were lackluster. And Harry Connick Jr should really stick to singing or Will & Grace. His acting is flat and his character was not at all believable.
I would rate it less than 7/10 if not for the fact that we need more uplifting, wholesome movies like this! The execution just fell short in this case, but the story and the way it was put together to be appealing to both adults and children, was a great idea. I also appreciated that the adults were not made to be villains, as is often the case in movies where children are the main protagonists.
Contagion
(2011)
Very good action film, not many disappointments
12 September 2011
We saw this movie the day after it came out. We went into the movie with low expectations, because the previews/trailers made it seem very much like many other movies. And, to be fair, it really was similar to movies like Outbreak in many ways, but much better. Outbreak had sort of a TV- movie sort of feel, low budget in many ways. Contagion does not feel low budget at all. The cinematography is outstanding (not something I'd normally notice!), where different scenes have totally different color schemes and feels depending on the location and situation. Matt Damon was amazing as the concerned father, and Kate Winslet was so good as an American epidemiologist, I totally forgot about Rose Dawson.
There were only a handful of scenes that lagged or seemed a bit boring. There is about a two-minute montage of no dialogue, just visuals, that is meant to move the story forward, but it lasts far too long and doesn't give us any new information. It seemed like a bad decision in editing.
Also, from the political standpoint, for much of the film you are given the impression this a very right-wing piece of propaganda, yet at the end you are given an undeniably left-wing perspective as well. I won't spoil it by being any more specific, but just to say - don't get offended to shut down if you think the politics are not what you agree with - it'll likely change before it's over.
There were only a handful of scenes that lagged or seemed a bit boring. There is about a two-minute montage of no dialogue, just visuals, that is meant to move the story forward, but it lasts far too long and doesn't give us any new information. It seemed like a bad decision in editing.
Also, from the political standpoint, for much of the film you are given the impression this a very right-wing piece of propaganda, yet at the end you are given an undeniably left-wing perspective as well. I won't spoil it by being any more specific, but just to say - don't get offended to shut down if you think the politics are not what you agree with - it'll likely change before it's over.
Damages
(2007–2012)
Fantastic show! Wanes a bit in season 4
7 August 2011
Damages is a fantastic show. It pulls you and hooks you right from episode one, season one.
Glenn Close is pretty dang amazing as Patty Hewes. You mostly want to hate her, but every once in awhile feel such aching empathy for her.
The first season is by far the best. Ted Danson's character is so despicable, it's fun to watch him fall. Season 2 is also very good. Season 3 gets a little boring, but still good. We just wrapped up watching season 4, and I have to say it was considerably more boring than the previous three. The 'main story' of season 4 was not as interesting, and Campbell Scott was not very good as the bad guy (or as anything - I miss his Singles days!).
Overall, very entertaining, well worth your time.
Glenn Close is pretty dang amazing as Patty Hewes. You mostly want to hate her, but every once in awhile feel such aching empathy for her.
The first season is by far the best. Ted Danson's character is so despicable, it's fun to watch him fall. Season 2 is also very good. Season 3 gets a little boring, but still good. We just wrapped up watching season 4, and I have to say it was considerably more boring than the previous three. The 'main story' of season 4 was not as interesting, and Campbell Scott was not very good as the bad guy (or as anything - I miss his Singles days!).
Overall, very entertaining, well worth your time.
Crazy on the Outside
(2010)
boring and flat
4 July 2011
This movie should have been good, but just fell flat. I can't put my finger on why exactly. From the first minute, it's boring. The acting is not good, even Sigourney Weaver is not good! The script is flat.
Nothing really happens. We watched this for about 45 minutes and just couldn't take it any longer.
The main character is released from prison and supposedly trying to restart his life. It doesn't make much sense. The grandmother supposedly believes he's been in France for three years rather than prison. The sister (Weaver) is domineering towards her husband but flakes when around her brother. Doesn't make sense. The parts that are supposed to be comedy (Allen's character daydreams about violently attacking various characters) - aren't funny in the slightest.
I felt like it SHOULD have been at least okay, but just wasn't!
Nothing really happens. We watched this for about 45 minutes and just couldn't take it any longer.
The main character is released from prison and supposedly trying to restart his life. It doesn't make much sense. The grandmother supposedly believes he's been in France for three years rather than prison. The sister (Weaver) is domineering towards her husband but flakes when around her brother. Doesn't make sense. The parts that are supposed to be comedy (Allen's character daydreams about violently attacking various characters) - aren't funny in the slightest.
I felt like it SHOULD have been at least okay, but just wasn't!
Super 8
(2011)
enormously disappointing
11 June 2011
I wish I could give this zero stars. The first fifteen minutes were pretty good. The the train crashes and the whole movie just falls apart, bit by bit. I left to get a drink refill, and when I was re-entering the theater a man was leaving, mumbling, "worst movie ever..." I thought he was being too harsh, but by the end, I agree.
If you've seen ET, The Goonies, and War of the Worlds, then you've already seen Super 8. It's bits and pieces of other movies, chewed up and glued back together. There is not one iota of originality in this whole sorry film. The last five minutes will leave you vomiting into your shoes.
This movie would be maybe 5/10 if it weren't for it's POTENTIAL! With Abrams, Spielberg, and for pete's sake a FANNING! - it should've been awesome. The fact that will all that talent they still managed to produce this enormous piece of poop is what really makes it awful.
If you've seen ET, The Goonies, and War of the Worlds, then you've already seen Super 8. It's bits and pieces of other movies, chewed up and glued back together. There is not one iota of originality in this whole sorry film. The last five minutes will leave you vomiting into your shoes.
This movie would be maybe 5/10 if it weren't for it's POTENTIAL! With Abrams, Spielberg, and for pete's sake a FANNING! - it should've been awesome. The fact that will all that talent they still managed to produce this enormous piece of poop is what really makes it awful.
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