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Dragon Crusaders (2011)
dragon crusaders why...Why!?... WHY!!??
Jesus Christ what a piece of crap and waste of precious time watching this horrible abomination! It was so bad, I simply had to waste more precious time writing a sort of review, only to warn my fellow movie fans not to watch this movie! this movie is probably the number one example why you should not put templar knights, pirates, dragons, gargoyles, zombies, Xena and a 20th century sailing cutter in one movie! why?
As a fantasy fan I liked the catchy title and the great front cover. I should have been warned by then.
It goes wrong straight at the beginning, when some knight-looking pirates sail an early 20th century sailing ship... why!? I know there is something like budget, but buying a rowing boat would be cheaper and more authentic! Next, these pirates siege a medieval castle as if they came with an entire army with only Xena's sister to protect the castle. Some templar knights decide to help and after that the sit hits the fan to fantasy land! pirates change to gargoyles and zombies.WHY!!?? What drug using acid junkie made this movie?
Further poor acting but I've seen worse: in series like "dynasty" and "the bold&." I have to admit, the scenery was nice and the camera-work wasn't that bad, also I can remember more expensive movies with worse CGI. That's the reason why I will give this piece of trash 4 of 10.
Humanity's End (2008)
worst piece of crap of 2009 if not ever
This is my first "review" ever, not to review a nice movie, but to warn all you people out there NOT to watch this piece of crap! You'd rather help your wife vacuumcleaning the house or wash the dishes or something than waste your precious time on this masterpiece of fail. I saw the DVD at the merchandise of a manowar concert, since neil johnson did some manowar videos. The cover looked nice, so did the title but I think instinct told me not to spend my precious money on it. After some time I started to regret my decision and started searching the net for it, months passed before I found it and with time my expectations probably got a little high. The day had finally come to drop down on the couch with a good friend of mine, fridge full of beer,big bag of quality pot on the table, and put the nice shining silver disc into the player... what happened next were probably the worst approximately 90 minutes of my life! An intro which took much too long,however giving some expectations of a good film, and after that 80minutes of really, really bad acting; so bad you would be glad to watch series like 'as the world turns' and 'the bold and the beautiful' just to see the smooth playing of the characters! For the budget I think the special effects were OK, accually I think the total budget was spent on it and none was left to make a movie of it. My whole story summarized: anything, really anything you can imagine to do is better than spending time in watching this movie!! And Johnson should quit wasting his time on making crap movies instead he should put his time back in what he's doing best: making great videoclips for true metal warriors!!