butterflywars Reviews

Extraterrestrial (2011)

A Movie Where Nothing Happens

[3/10 · 18 July 2012]

Extraterrestrial is a Spanish movie where the aliens (apparently) invade Spain. I say apparently because you never once see an alien, you only see a fourth of a spacecraft that is essentially 4 miles wide.

This movie is a love triangle between three characters and another annoying jealous guy who wants to make it a love square. He does ridiculous stuff to gain the attention of the only woman in the film, the woman he desires.

That's it. There's nothing else to the plot.

If this was a comedy, it failed at every level since I didn't even smile once. If this was a drama, I never showed any emotions for the characters depicted and could care less if any lived or died. This can't be considered action since nothing dramatic happened at all.

What I can say is whatever this movie was supposed to be it wasn't and I struggled to watch the duration even though it was only about 90 minutes long.

I like foreign movies and I watch a lot of them because most are better than the movies put out by Hollywood but give this one a miss cause there's nothing to take out of Extraterrestrial unless you're looking to see how boring and nonsensical a movie can actually be.

TalhotBlond (2012 TV Movie)

Must Watch for Any Internet User

[7/10 · 24 June 2012]

TalhotBlond is a movie where an ordinary man married for 17 years in a normal relationship with two children decides start up an on-line relationship with a teenage girl.

Moral boundaries are crossed which leaves the married man in a predicament he never knew was possible with just on-line chat.

I can't give away anymore of the plot cause if I do I'll spoil the movie for you. But what I will say is that if you're an Internet user (and you have to be if you're reading this review) then you should give TalhotBlond a chance since it's based on a true story and it will leave you speechless once the credits roll.

I give it a 7/10 because some scenes drag a bit and there was a little too much on-line talk throughout. I would have had the dialog of each conversation with a scene showcasing what each person was typing but that's just my opinion, you might not feel that way.

Arachnoquake (2012 TV Movie)

Good for a SyFy Movie

[3/10 · 23 June 2012]

Arachnoquake is good for a SyFy movie but that's not saying much. The acting is atrocious by all and Edward Furlong was probably the worst, the storyline is nonexistent, and the spiders look like they were designed and created by a 6 year old.

It receives 3 stars because a couple of lines and moments gave me a good laugh (I don't know if it was intended or not) and the sister was super sexy so she gave me something to look at when the other actors were spewing out one garbage line after another.

After saying all that, Arachnoquake is still one of the better SyFy movies I've seen recently which is saying something for how awful these movies can be.

The Three Stooges (2012)

Really Really Bad

[1/10 · 28 May 2012]

This might have been funny in the 1930's but it's definitely not funny now with stupid humor that makes me question my intelligence. The stunts are incomprehensible and flagrant. You won't laugh, you'll just look down, clenching your face wondering why this tripe was ever considered funny enough to be made into a feature film. You won't show any human reaction besides wondering why you're watching one of the worst movies ever made.

I can't believe these actors agreed to be involved in this mess. They should all be ashamed of themselves to ruin their reputation in order to make a quick buck. Sophia Vergara, what have you done to yourself? I've lost all respect for you. Jennifer Hudson, you've won an award for best actress, how the mighty have fallen.

Safe House (2012)

Utter Nonsense

[3/10 · 24 May 2012]

I think 'Look Who's Talking' has a more realistic chance of happening than 'Safe House' ever would. The plot was laughable and the acting (minus Denzel) was atrocious. Ryan Reynolds role of being the pompous, talky and moronic hero is starting to become ridiculous. He plays the same role in every movie and every movie he's in sucks.

Also, I'm a fan of the whole shaky camera since it makes you believe you're right there in the action a movie provides to you but 'Safe House' uses it waaayyyy too much, even for scenes where it's just a bunch of people talking. I became distracted by it and this hampered my experience.

If you're a big fan of the Bourne series and want to watch 'Safe House', do yourself a favor and pop in one of The Bourne Trilogy movies into your DVD player and watch those again. They're more enjoyable, less preposterous, and all have better acting than this turd called 'Safe House.'

Hick (2011)

Amazing Acting by All Involved

[9/10 · 24 May 2012]

'Hick' had a lot going for it but the superb acting by the entire cast is unquestionably the major selling point that made 'Hick' one of the best movies so far of 2012.

Newcomer (at least for me) Eddie Redmayne was tremendous as a believable low-life with no sense of direction. He has future star written all over him. Blake Lively played a role she's done before (The Town) and did it with perfection. The best performance of 'Hick', however, just happened to be Chloë Grace Moretz. She is quickly turning into my favorite actress in Hollywood at the ripe age of 15. She kicked ass in 'Kick-Ass' and was an adorable cutie in 'Hugo' but she gives her best performance to date by becoming a character reminiscent to Jodie Foster in 'Taxi Driver.' It is Oscar worthy without a doubt.

Critics have said that nothing can be learned by watching 'Hick' but that wasn't the case for me. I learned that your life can to to s*** with the blink of an eye, even for a teenager. You will seem defeated with hopelessness mixed in. It can be a daunting scenario to get out of but it's possible to come out better than before the downward spiral even started. Give 'Hick' a chance. You may not like the story progression but there's no way anyone coming out of this movie can say that the acting was mediocre or worse. The acting alone makes 'Hick' a must watch.

Battleship (2012)

Great Fun!

[9/10 · 21 May 2012]

I went into 'Battleship' thinking it was going to be abysmal because of all of the negative reviews but what I ended up receiving was great fun with terrific graphics and entertaining comic relief that frankly had me laughing more than pure comedies this year (cough* The Dictator cough*).

Sure, the acting wasn't Oscar worthy but who cares? Liam Neeson provided the established acting credentials that all of the other practically unknown actors could play off of. The storyline has been done before but what movie is truly original anymore? I can't think of many.

The aliens looked cool and their weapons were extraordinary but something I can actually see humans developing eventually.

I was wondering if 'Battleship' could even incorporate anything from the board game of the same name and to my surprise, the director pulled it off. It was probably my favorite scene in the picture.

Simply put, if you want to have fun for 2 hours, go see Battleship. If you want to be bored for 2 hours, go watch Oscar nominated films where all they do is talk and curse (and sometimes stutter).

Jackass: The Movie (2002)

Jackass: The Movie 10 Years Later

[7/10 · 16 May 2012]

I watched Jackass: The Movie 10 years ago and I remember LOVING it. I was a 16 year old kid just as immature as the next. Ten years later, I watched it again and I still LOVED it! Either I've never matured or the stuff the Jackasses pull off is just hilarious. I'll go for the latter.

This movie is impossible to review without giving away spoilers since it's so completely random and void of a plot. So what I can say is that you'll laugh (either at least chuckle or urinate in your pants), cringe, wonder why they did that stunt, (gag, almost gag, or want to gag) and wonder how the hell these guys had the guts to do what they did.

I have a feeling that everyone likes this movie, whether they admit it or not.

Gone (I) (2012)

'Taken' Without the Action...or Suspense

[5/10 · 13 May 2012]

'Gone' would have been a straight to DVD release if Amanda Seyfried wasn't included in the cast. She was excellent and made 'Gone' better than it should have been. But even with her excellent acting, something was missing and that was a suspense factor that keeps you on the edge of your seat with the realization that you never knew what was going to happen next.

A predictable plot with cardboard acting from the rest of the cast kept 'Gone' from being something special. I kept wondering when something exciting was going to happen but it just never came to fruition.

'Gone' was still a watchable movie with the charm of Seyfried but if you aren't her biggest fan, I'd give this a miss for you. If you like her or the movies she's been in before, give it a chance, you may be surprised.