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thelaughingphilosopher
Reviews
Don't Go in the Woods (2010)
Aggravatingly Horrible
Before I say anything about the movie, I want readers to know that I love horror movies, and the idea of a horror/musical to me sounds like it could be awesome. I thoroughly enjoy horror movies of all kinds, especially the really bad ones that just make you laugh.
Don't Go in the Woods is a total disgrace to horror film. I've seen hundreds of horror films, and I seriously cannot remember the last time I was this irritated by a one. This movie has absolutely no redeeming qualities. From square one you're forced to endure crappy songs over and over and over and over again. Fine, I get the whole "band in the woods trying to get inspired" thing, but it seems like the director for some reason needed every single insignificant "actor" in the film to get a solo song performance, which just makes no sense to me at all. Another thing is that the music gets more and more irritating as the movie goes along. Just when you think you're free from the terrible music, and you might actually get some horror or gore, another cheese-ball "I'm so sad" song that's even worse than the last starts right up again. At some point I couldn't hold myself back from fast forwarding through them, which was about when I realized just how much of this movie is occupied by bad music. Some of the songs are even repeated by different characters in the movie, making them even more frustratingly bad.
It's really beyond me how anyone could positively review this piece of work. Fine if you like the idea of a horror/musical, and fine if you think it's "original", but the aggravatingly repetitive songs, the too-little-too-late killings, the fragmented straw-man plot, the absolute lack of suspense, the terrible acting, and most of all the HORRIBLE score make this movie a 0/10 in my book.
I hardly ever write reviews on here, but if even one person reads this review and decides against watching this movie, then at least I've saved one soul. Movies like this are like land mines waiting to be stepped on so they can reveal just how bad a movie can get.
I URGE readers to just leave this one alone. It's terrible, and NOT the good kind of terrible. It's not funny, or clever, or really anything but obnoxious.
Contagion (2011)
Huge Disappointment
If someone asked me what one word I would use to describe this movie, I would use the word 'disappointment'. I saw Contagion in IMAX, thinking what was built up to be an 'action thriller' with such an all-star cast would be best experienced on the extra-large screen.
It's difficult to describe many of the downfalls without revealing anything about the story itself, but suffice it to say that walking into the theater expecting a movie that's going to thrill you with exciting action scenes, involve you through deep character development/interactions, and spur emotions with a breathtaking climax, you will be extremely disappointed. I was so let down, that I registered on IMDb specifically to input my 2 cents to the community, so I could hopefully save anyone from having the same experience I had with this movie.
I consider myself pretty experienced when it comes to film, and I certainly give a movie credit where credit is due, even if it doesn't belong to a genre that I am exceptionally interested in. Many of the actors performed well, and the situation itself is interesting to see in example, because it leads you to wonder what you would do if you were in the characters' shoes. Also, I was also entertained at the way the story developed, and how the turn of events in each of the plot lines kept my attention.
However, I have never before felt so tricked in my life after witnessing the film's shortcomings, lack of direction, lack of purpose, and failure to come through with what was promised in the trailer. With so many different plot "branches" it was difficult for me to feel emotionally connected with the main characters, and their situations. The film lacked tension, and I was not happy with how suspense that was built from the feelings of worry or sadness was often dissolved way too quickly. More than anything, after the film I was left with too many unanswered questions while I was trying to figure out where the movie was trying even to go.