phoenixmichaels Reviews

The Way Back (I) (2020)

Not that good...

[5/10 · 30 May 2020]

If you were hoping for "Hoosiers", or "Rudy" you will be disappointed. It isn't. The smart-ass teens who are the players of this team you do NOT become engaged with... you just want to smack the sass out of them. Yawn. Affleck gives his usual room-temperature performance.

Bad Boys for Life (2020)

Stinkypoo.

[3/10 · 3 April 2020]

Couldn't get through the first half hour. Cliché buddy cop movie with a big budget. Will Smith is obviously on the downslide career-wise, and milking this sequel for a paycheck. Martin was NEVER funny, but especially so here. Don't waste you time.

Captain Marvel (2019)

Decide for yourself...

[7/10 · 30 June 2019]

After reading the reviews for this film, I was primed to hate it. Turns out, everyone who gave it a one OR ten is serving some agenda besides the truth. A solid 7... I may not watch it twice, but a good movie overall.

Quest for Fire (1981)

Monster good film

[10/10 · 26 May 2019]

I never give out a "10" RATING. This is one of my favorite movies of all time. Astounding to realize how far we have come. Epic scenery an sets.

Asher (II) (2018)

Most adolescents want more action

[7/10 · 30 April 2019]

It's a better movie than the average rating suggests. It will receive higher scores from older people, who recognize and commiserate with what these adults are dealing with. Famke is still a goddess. Ron is great as usual.

Colony (2016–2018)

It's all about the Benjamins...

[7/10 · 26 April 2019]

They don't CARE how much YOU liked it, or if you're angry with no ending either. It wasn't making the dollars they needed, and it got scrapped. End of story.

Law & Order: Special Victims Unit (1999– )

Is there one?

[7/10 · 13 April 2019]

It's not PC I know to mention that sometimes charges are FALSE. Is there ONE episode of SVU whereas the accuser is lying? I like this show, and certainly enjoy seeing violent perps go down for their crimes. Where's the OTHER side of the story though?

Glass (2019)

Bruce Willis is DONE

[4/10 · 9 April 2019]

Every Bruce Willis movie made in the last several years (and there have been PLENTY) are phone-ins for lousy scripts. This film is no different. He seems to have no shame, or respect for his former catalogue. Stinkypoo. For years now. Get a job if you need the money that bad. Stop doing these crappy films.

Mandy (I) (2018)

Time to Retire Nicky...

[4/10 · 29 December 2018]

One long string of crap movies after another, and this is no different. Love your older films, but it's time to hang up your spurs.

Generation Wealth (2018)

Piffle

[1/10 · 29 December 2018]

It cost ten times more money to MAKE this drivel than it took in on the free market. This is really all you need to know about this "documentary". The makers of this cannot turn a profit, or even break even... this should offer a clue as to how little they understand the concept of wealth/money/capitalism. It is generally those abysmally bad at creating wealth who are most eager to talk about it as if with knowledge. Yes, by all means, let's turn reality on its EAR and twist it 180 degrees around: a nation which has built, for itself and its children, the very best lifestyle ever in the history of mankind... is PATHOLOGICAL for doing so. How many other words can be utilized to undermine and devalue this virtue? Greed? Obsession?

Papillon (I) (2017)

Another pointless remake...

[1/10 · 12 December 2018]

True Grit. Death Wish. Now Papillon. You can't step into those shoes. Watch the original with McQueen and Hoffman.

Goliath (2016–2021)

Gotta Love Billy Bob...

[10/10 · 5 November 2018]

I have read where a few reviewers recommended skipping the 2nd season. I myself enjoyed it greatly!

Finding Bigfoot (2011– )

Not Finding Bigfoot

[1/10 · 26 September 2018]

FLIR technology, helicopters, hunter, trackers, and dogs... Nuthin'. Every dang sound out in the woods at night is presumed a sasquatch. If you're watching this show, try to get out of mom's basement a little more often. ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZzzzzzzzzzzzzzz...

Occupation (2018)

Take a pass...

[3/10 · 21 September 2018]

Obvious sci-fi dreck, fair production values, but you will be glad when it's over.

Finding Bigfoot (2011– )

NOT Finding Bigfoot

[1/10 · 20 August 2018]

I think the name change is appropriate, don't you? Flyovers of formerly inaccessible areas with FLIR technologies... still nothing. OOOOH WAIT, the snap of a TWIG in the darkness... it can only be Bigfoot!!!!

The Dark Tower (2017)

Had to know this was godawful when writing the script...

[2/10 · 30 July 2018]

If you've never read "The Dark Tower" series by Stephen King, then there's nothing to see here... move on and save yourself a couple of hours wasted. If you ARE a fan, move away FASTER. STINKYPOO!!!!!! I like Idris, but he is horrifically miscast as Roland. Turns out it matters little, as the script failed to capture an iota of the size and majesty of the story itself. Would not even qualify as a "Reader's Digest" version.

The Sunset Limited (2011 TV Movie)

Nothing Short Of Outstanding...

[10/10 · 29 July 2018]

The very best film/play I have seen since "12 Angry men". Have lofty ideas about the nature of existence, and how we should feel about it? Watch this.

Death Wish (2018)

WHY don't they know better?

[3/10 · 25 July 2018]

Desperate for scripts in Hollywood, occasionally such nonsense rears its coma-inducing head. Hey, I even like Bruce Willis... not the point. You just can't expect to step into those shoes and not fall short. Charles Bronson was an ICON, and this is his single-most iconic MOVIE. Bad idea. It's not flattery, it's not a homage... it's just a very bad idea. Same with True Grit: I also like Matt Damon and Jeff Bridges. Not the point. You can't step into those John Wayne shoes and not fall short. What's next? Colin Farrell in Casablanca?

My Generation (I) (2017)

Baby Boomer's Delight

[10/10 · 7 July 2018]

This is simply nostalgia... those looking for a plot or a point just won't get it, and they're likely under 60 as well. For those of us who were alive and experiencing all this first hand, prepare for a delightful evening with the beloved Michael Caine.

Bravetown (I) (2015)

Idiot premise = bad movie

[1/10 · 6 June 2018]

There is NO SUCH THING as a "talented DJ". Learn to sing or play an instrument well... or get off the stage CHUMP.

You Were Never Really Here (2017)

ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ

[3/10 · 8 April 2018]

This movie STUNK. Waited about 35-40 minutes, it never got off the runway. Lots of typical rhapsodizing here of course about yet another "understated indie film". Limp and nearly lifeless dreck.

Z Nation (2014–2018)

Poor Man's Walking Dead

[5/10 · 19 January 2018]

Having watched the first season, I simply cannot watch any more. Sets are fine, but the acting is abysmally bad. "Patient Zero", the character upon which the entire plot is going to revolve, is an uninteresting person... one cannot become invested in him as a good or bad guy, just inert. STINKYPOO.

Blade Runner 2049 (2017)

Non-plussed...

[6/10 · 28 December 2017]

Am I the only one out there who was expecting a WAY better movie!???! I kept waiting for it to get off the runway, sure it would, and suddenly I was seeing the end credits. I can't believe THIS is the script chosen to follow up such an iconic movie as Blade Runner 1982.

xXx: Return of Xander Cage (2017)

More of the same

[5/10 · 4 May 2017]

If you like action films, and can get through the first tedious 25 minutes or so, You'll likely enjoy this movie. A lot of this movie appears as posturing rather than acting, with those first 25 minutes rehashing several themes from the first XXX... scenes which were lukewarm even in the original. Warms up in the middle with expensive but typical action scenes, but not much in the way of actual drama. I think a good movie is one you watch twice or several times... but I won't need to see this one again.

The Answer (III) (2015)

Piffle

[3/10 · 23 March 2017]

Possible spoiler alert... I have to strongly disagree with some of these reviews. I think the hallmark of a good movie is one you would watch TWICE over time, and I kept awaiting the promised "unguesable twists and turns" right up to the end... none appeared. Several easily, even unavoidably anticipated clichés did however. How about a bad guy you leave for dead, but miraculously reanimates to take one more attempt to kill you... boy, never seen THAT one before. OR, a bad guy who shoots you, and rather than put two more in your head from a safe distance, walks up and rolls your supposedly dead body over... giving the hero the opportunity to turn the tables. Groundbreaking suspense! (yawn).