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cgraptor
Reviews
Avatar: The Way of Water (2022)
The visual high bar meets the writing low bar
There is no denying it: Avatar the Way of Water is absolutely the most beautiful movie I have ever seen. The only way to properly watch this is in a theater (preferably Imax) that's well maintained and excellently sound balanced. The water scenes of Wakanda Forever look like amateur hour compared to what James Cameron pulls off here. I'm ready to watch this again already, and in a perfect world, I would be able to grab about 1,000 desktop background screenshots of this stunning cinematography piece of pure art. I could go on for hours... the stars, the bioluminescence, the creatures, the little freckles... and the underwater scenes? Holy batman. I'm a believer! If I never got to watch a movie ever again, I'd be satisfied that my movie going career ended with this movie.
It's like the studio spent 1 billion dollars or something. I mean it's crazy.
Unfortunately, while they spent billions on cinematography, they must have run out of money and spent what, like, $5,000 on a story/script? I mean... wow it's a bad story. If you think the 7 8 9 of Star Wars was bad.... welp. I mean it's like Hollywood doesn't even try anymore. "Here is my message to the world, you WILL watch it and my politics/ideology WILL be obvious."
As a logical thinking person it is extraordinarily difficult not to cringe at nearly every turn of the plot. The entire movie start to finish was 110% predictable. It was Avatar 1, but instead of trees, it's water. Its no longer unobtanium version 1.0, its now unobtanium 2.0. Honestly the story is so bad it hurts. I mean just imagine, if there was another story universe where the rebels fought the bad guys who had this huge base and they just barely blew it up.... and now imagine a sequel to that story... where... the bad guys had an even BIGGER base and the rebels just barely managed to blow that one up to....... you get the idea. Zero originality, zero interesting plot lines, zero "deep feelings", zero writing quality at all.
Fortunately the visuals are so, so amazing that you can genuinely overlook the utterly abysmal story and just enjoy the movie for the visual and audio artwork that it is.
Give me Avatar 3... I'm ready!
Cobra Kai: First Learn Stand (2021)
No be there
"No be there"... WHEN I TELL YALL THAT I DIED..... BELIEVE ME.
By far the best episode I've ever seen. Pure TV gold through and through. I'm so happy this show exists man, it was awesome.
Lucifer: A Lot Dirtier Than That (2021)
Dumb and unrealistic
The cop stuff shown here? It flat out doesn't happen and this is so incredibly forced, it's forced to the point that the actors couldn't even properly act it out. Honestly the dumbest episode in this entire series, by far.
Mulan (2020)
What.... what is this
Its like Sharknado had a baby with cheap Chinese kung fu movies. Like.... its bad. Just bad. Genuienly terrible.
Hamilton (2020)
A 3 hour rap
If you like rap and music like that, welcome to heaven. If you really don't like rap, welcome to hell.
Ok but for real though I don't understand what's so appealing about.....any if this. Managed to make it through abiut 70 minutes and then decided it was either turn it off or bore my ear drums out with a drill.