king_jack_the_wicked Reviews

The Prophecy II (1998 Video)

One of the most god-awful movies ever

[1/10 · 28 October 2003]

I'll make this short and sweet....this movie sucked!!!!!!

I watched part 1 earlier today and thought it was one of the greatest films ever, gave it 9 out of 10 stars. So I thought perhaps part 2 and 3 would be good sequels, I was wrong. This movie bored me to death and was so different from the first one, it had the plot continue and thats it. It was like bad outtakes from part one or something.

I love Walken, but I felt sorry for him here. I was so happy about Glenn Danzig being in this film, but don't blink you'll miss him. There was a full cast full of crappy actors and people I don't like such as Eric Roberts and Jennifer Beals. However, it was a breath of fresh air to see Ethan Embry, he's one of the funniest people on earth.

This movie will make you like the first one a little less, so don't watch it because you feel you owe it to yourself, being a fan of part 1. I am gonna wait a few days before I watch part 3 and I pray it is better than this crap.

The last scene of the movie with the lightning was one of the most beautiful things ever shown on film. Fast forward or skip to that if you can't stomach the first part.

1 out of 10 stars - this was awful!

The Prophecy (1995)

Lord knows I have a soft spot for Lucifer

[9/10 · 28 October 2003]

I watched LEATHERFACE: TEXAS CHAINSAW MASSACRE III last night and was noticing just how great Viggo Mortensen really is as an actor. LORD OF THE RINGS series is my favourite films and therefore thought I'd look into other Viggo movies. I am glad I did this.

I looked on IMDB and noticed he was on THE PROPHECY. I have all three of these movies on my shelf and had never watched them before. I like Christopher Walken, but never thought I'd like this film. It didnt look like a horror movie and I didn't really know what to expect. 'What kind of film is it' is still a good question, genre wise anyway. My answer to this question would be simply that it's a great movie.

It's not slow on action, but slow on explination. I could not easily begin to explain it right now, but it's easy to understand while you're watching it. I am agnostic and don't like movies that deal with religion, but it is often interesting to see it on film and how different people view it.

possible spoilers...

This is not your basic good versus evil type of film. It deals with a storyline that is completley original. Neither good nor evil is good nor is either of them evil. Hard to explain what I am saying, but watch the movie and you will understand. God's angels are wicked and Lucifer himself saves the world from damnation.

The cast is brilliant I loved all these actors here. Walken was perfect for his role and I could not imagine my king Aragorn as Lucifer but Viggo as Lucifer now is one of my favourite movie characters of all time. It was perfect, when I think of Lucifer, I do think he is wicked evil, but at the same time I dont see him as being this monster people make him out to be. If god and heaven exsists, Lucifer was no different than the next guy, just maybe he didn't like the ways of God. I don't know - there's so many different views of religion in this world. I am not a follower, but peace and love to those who are, faith is a good thing, I like how Lucifer in this movie felt that too, it was positive.

9 out of 10 stars. Original, great effects, great acting, scenery, and worth a watch if you like a good film. Still not sure what genre it is, but who cares as long as it entertains - labels suck any damn way!

Leatherface: Texas Chainsaw Massacre III (1990)

A great slasher movie, but a bad sequel

[8/10 · 28 October 2003]

I really liked this film a lot, but you have to watch it with an open mind and forget the other TEXAS CHAINSAW MASSACRE movies that it follows. It, in no way seems to be connected, other than the name Leatherface.

As far as slasher movies go with legends like Jason Vorhees, Michael Myers, Norman Bates etc., this film fits in well. Here Leatherface is a madman who seems to have a blood lust not to mention the mind of a madman as opposed to the mind of a retarded person as he had on the first two. I hated this Leatherface really, but enjoyed him as a killer. After just a little while I forgot about the Sawyer family and enjoyed this movie for what it was and I really liked it.

Bottom line is this....this move was a great film if you enjoy movies like FRIDAY THE 13TH if not then don't watch it. It's not at all like the first two TCM's so don't expect a sequel, but the cast is awesome and still full of psychotic characters.

8 out of 10 stars

The Texas Chainsaw Massacre 2 (1986)

More yummy than Drayton Sawyers award winning chili.

[7/10 · 27 October 2003]

Doesn't it bother you when you read these reviews, both of fans and of "pros". An opinion is one thing, I have one, you have one - we all do... but what about the people who seem to take it too far, too serious. That was the case with this movie I do believe. People dogged it and killed it in reviews, it was a great horror movie, what were you expecting GONE WITH THE WIND?

The first movie came out in 1974 introducing the world to Leatherface, chainsaw slaughter, hillbilly hobbies and the vision of Tobe hooper. None of which impressed me much, I did have a bit of a place in my heart for Bubba "Leatherface" Sawyer - still think he is one of the best things to happen to horror films. Tobe Hooper, however is not something I feel that's added much to horror, in fact Texas chainsaw and its impact WERE all that anyone felt from him. FUNHOUSE, INVADERS FROM MARS, LIFEFORCE were all dull and forgettable and POLTERGEIST was a perfect film, but it's so obvious that Spielburg directed that film just let Tobe hold the camera. I have watched almost every film of Tobe's in the last couple days with the exception of the 3 I don't have. I decided that I wanted to watch different directors; Raimi, Carpenter, Craven, P. Jackson, Romero, etc. and try to feel which one really spoke to me most - just as far as direction goes, not story or anything else, but enjoying everything about it as I watch.

TEXAS CHAINSAW MASSACRE 2 was one of the first movies I ever bought back in the very late eighties or early 90's. One of the first 10 movies I bought and now I have thousands - so maybe it holds a place in my heart for that fact, all I know is I like it alot.

Tobe's direction is nothing amazing as I expected, but don't get me wrong he's not bad, just simply not unique. The story was not scary but not many films are. Gunnar admitted that when he played Leatherface in the first film that he based him on a mentally retarded person. Given a fact like that and seeing how his family were hillbilly lunatics it was hard to take it very seriously, so when I hear people complain about part two being more funny I have to argue that that was the only way to make it. If they had tried to make Leatherface really mean it would've been totally unbelieveable. His murder skills and madness were taught to him, he simply didn't know any better, so making him a killjoy slasher would've been wrong.

The cast of this movie was great. The guy with the metal plate in his head was wonderful - All you Primus fans out there might remember the song "Jerry was a Race Car Driver" from the SAILING THE SEAS OF CHEESE album in 1991 where a sample of Chop Top saying "Dog will hunt" can be heard. I am sad Gunnar Hansen didnt play Leatherface in it, but the guy who did wasn't so bad. Dennis Hopper in this movie is still somewhat of a shock to me, but he was great in it. The female dj "Stretch" is not a very familiar face, even though I have seen her in a few other horrors - is it just me or does she remind you of Laurie Metcalf (Jackie from ROSEANNE).Last but definatley not least the wonderful Jim Siedow (Drayton Sawyers), he was in the first Texas massacre also and just really has more depth than any one person from these movies. I can say I don't wan't to taste his chili though, made of only the finest human meat. Draytons encounter with Lefty (Hopper) will be one he, nor his ass will ever forget.

The battlefields and radio station and even the bridge made for great settings. Fun to watch all the murder and chases and such go on there and if nothing else watch this movie to see people sword-like fighting with huge chainsaws - Thats Entertainment!

With all that said and out of the way I will get back to my original point about this being a horror movie, a sequel at that, given an X rating for violence and it's a slasher movie - some of us like it, some like me, love them. When I go to buy a horror and it shows a guy holding a chainsaw on the box, I know what Im getting, I go home and I enjoy it - some are better than others, some downright SUCK! but I knew what I was getting and didnt expect it to be a life changing film.

I am sick and tired of people dogging horror movies. It never stops....

You know if it cost hundreds of millions of dollars to make and is directed by James Cameron that it's gonna be massive, you know if Tom Cruise or Tom Hanks is in it that it's gonna be massive, and you also know that when you get a movie like this what you are about to watch, so if you know you're going to hate it, then don't watch it and come here and put it down, unless youre a horror movie fan and have earned the right.

FREDDY V/S JASON, TEXAS CHAINSAW MASSACRE, JEEPERS CREEPERS 2 and movies like that have lead the box office this year - so maybe critics, movie companies and everyone will see that horror is what the fans want and have always wanted. We've got to keep horror on top and maybe movie companies will start dishing out money for horror film makers and start promoting horror more, one can only hope.

TEXAS CHAINSAW MASSACRE 2 - the kind of horror movie I like 7 out of ten stars

The Funhouse (1981)

Why you shouldn't watch this film....

[2/10 · 25 October 2003]

This film can be summed up in one word - boring! I am in the process of watching all of Tobe Hooper's films minus 3-4 I don't have. Watching these films TEXAS CHAINSAW MASSACRE, SALEMS LOT etc., I notice he doesn't really have a unique style. I am not sure if thats a good thing or a bad thing. It's good his films are all different, but at the same time they don't have a trademark feel to them. I can say however, that most of his films are wrapped up very nicely and presented with magnetic-like visions that makes you want to watch.

THE FUNHOUSE was nothing much as far as story goes for me. The kids were all jerks and you didn't care if they died or not really. The main bad guy/killer was nothing but a deformed dumbass who liked women a bit too much. It's true that most scary movies aren't scary, but many of them are as a kid, not this one- it was always boring to me even when I was 7 or 8 years old. I just finished it and watched with an open mind but couldn't help but come here and put it down after seeing all the positive reviews. I wanted to make sure people reading these comments know that not everyone liked it. It didn't even try to scare you and there's tons of loose holes in the plot.

Boring, I felt so let down that no one got killed in an interesting way and that it seemed more like a LIFETIME movie than something a horror legend directed.

1 out of 4 stars, nothing whatsoever worth watching it for - oh by the way, not what you would call a "spoiler" but in fact a WARNING - there's really really really old women dancing naked in this movie - that might be why it was considered a horror.

Ronnie (2002)

It wasn't what I expected, it was way better!

[10/10 · 24 October 2003]

I got this movie the other day in with a box of horror movies and it didn't look too interesting, but it blew me away.

I thought by the look of the front of the box and its image of a madman that it might be a good thriller as opposed to a horror. I enjoy a horror but have to admit 99 percent of horrors made anymore are total crap with no imagination. A thriller is real and reality doesn't seem to get old as far as movies go, true fear in different visions is always good for the mind.

Possible spoilers... more of a description, I wont give away details.

This film starts off with a down to earth feel, I kept waiting for the boy to show his true devilish side and start knocking off people, he didn't. In fact Ronnie the so called "killer next door" was a guy you couldn't help but love and feel sorry for.

Ronnie is just simply a boy who has a messed up trailer trash type of family and he deals with it all his life until he cracks. In saying that you might think I mean he does, in fact go out and start killing people one by one - NO! it's not one of those types of films, This film has so many things going on in Ronnie's life and his brothers life and his brothers crazy friends and their life.

I rated this movie a perfect ten stars and very few movies have gotten a full ten stars from me, so go get this movie and watch it and if you hate it, I'm sorry but I can say you have never in your life seen a film like this one, its amazing.

The guy who plays Ronnie (Adam Scott) should be one of the biggest stars in Hollywood and this film should put an Oscar in his hands - too bad Hollywood is full of idiots.

Watch this film and vote for it - I can't believe I am the first person to review it on this site. Any fans of this or Adam Scott contact me Id love to hear from you.

10 out of 10 stars

Race for Your Life, Charlie Brown (1977)

If nothing else, watch it for Snoopy

[3/10 · 30 September 2003]

I grew up watching cartoons and many had impact on me, the peanut gang didn't. I remember seeing the one about the pumpkin and actually looking forward to it around Halloween.

This is nowhere near being that good, this is very boring and pointless. Nothing to make you smile or laugh or feel anything other than bored, with the exception of Snoopy. Snoopy rules and his sidekick Woodstock isn't that bad either, why these were often named with Charlie Brown in the title I don't know - they should have all been just Snoopy cartoons and kept the rest of the gang out of it. 1 out of 4 stars - because of Snoopy

Incredible Rocky Mountain Race (1977 TV Movie)

some will hate, some will adore.

[5/10 · 30 September 2003]

I think this is one of those movies that only certain people would fancy, it is set in the old west and hard to believe at times. It's original as far as anything I have seen, but borrows from movies such as SHAKIEST GUN IN THE WEST.

I watched it as a teen and did not like it, then again in my early twenties and thought it was great, now the other day was my third viewing and it was still fresh and I didn't mind watching it even though I knew how it would all unfold, which usually makes me hate re-watching a film.

I think its purely a family movie, the type grandpa and the kids would enjoy most, but if you allow yourself to watch it and laugh you will find it is brilliant.

The characters are all pretty good but the Indian played by Larry Storch was perfect he made this film. The old man not sure his real name but Loco Gabe I believe he was here was also a laugh a minute presence.

spoiler to a scene-

One scene I have to say was one of the best movie moments ever - I'm paraphrasing here but Fink walks by to find the Indian Eagle Feather lying on the ground with his ear to a rock and saying "wagon, 6 horses, man, woman, small boy with blond hair". Fink says "wow, you can tell all that by putting your ear to the ground" and Eagle Feather replies, "No. they just ran over me" - come on people that was funny.

2 out of 4 stars for an interesting race and funny moments that make me laugh!

Rabid (1977)

Watch something of Romero's instead!

[3/10 · 27 September 2003]

Cronenberg has always been one to make interesting films with unique stories but at the same time they are always boring and useless.

A friend argued that David's films are original and I gave him that, I also added a movie about killer ducks would be original too, but who would want to see it.

This movie was very boring and didn't have any good scares nor will it stick with you. Five minutes after you finish with this film you will have forgotten it, unless you remember it for porn star Chambers tits which were wisely casted to make up for the fact the film was gonna suck. We all know by now though that sex sells in Hollywood.

Once the movie got to the point where many people were getting infected and going wild it did grab my attention. I have to admit I was really locked into the whole nightmare of what if people did suddenly go mad like that, it would be a lot like represented here in this film. Not only would a person be scared of leaving the house for fear of being bitten, but also the way killing the crazies and disposing of them would be carried out.

The fact is though that I watched a movie that had several things happen that ultimately resulted in random people turning mad and attacking people and kept thinking it has been done so much better in other films. It was poorly done and I was thinking 'god, I wish I watching THE CRAZIES or DAWN OF THE DEAD right now, something that is scary, gory and can be considered a horror movie

RABID - 1 1/2 stars out of 4

Airport '77 (1977)

I liked it enough to want to see the others in the series.

[5/10 · 27 September 2003]

This film is pretty cool! It wasn't great, but it kept me locked in. I have seen enough of these films to know usually one of two things happen; Either the film focuses so much on the cast that you get bored, or they don't focus enough and make you not care about the characters. This film did pretty good by giving us just a glimpse of the cast and actually made us like everyone and see they were all decent people. The people on the plane were all wealthy and by no means like me, but it was nice in a way because it shows that when facing fears like that that money doesn't help you at all.

A lot of huge stars were assembled to make this, at least now 26 years later they are huge stars, they could've been bottom of the list actors then for all I know. Jack Lemmon as the captain, Jimmy Stewart as the millionaire who owned the plane, George Kennedy who played in all 4 of the AIRPORT movies, made up some of the key characters.The great Chris Lee who has played in some of the most god awful movies ever and has also played in the greatest films ever made in my opinion THE LORD OF THE RINGS series, also played maybe the most memorable role in this movie.

I feel silly because I wondered why this film had the "'77" in the title and just today I found out that this is the third in a series of 4 AIRPORT movies. I cannot wait to see the other 3. 2 stars out of 4.

Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs (1937)

The first Disney film might just be the fairest of them all.

[8/10 · 24 September 2003]

I have seen most of the Disney animated movies and they are all pretty good, but this one stands alone. I should note I am a horror movie fan, I don't like many movies made before 1970 and I am a 26 year old man, still this movie is excellent to me. It set many standards in not only Disney and animated films to come but for all movies that followed.

Great characters, songs that will stick with you and a story that will take you on a journey and actually make you feel something.

3 stars out of a possible 4 -

The Grand Illusion (1937)

A good story but a very long and boring movie.

[2/10 · 24 September 2003]

Maybe it was the fact the version I had contained subtitles and mixed German, French, English and who knows what else to throw you off...no that wasn't it. It just simply was boring. I admit it was a decent story about not only war, but loyalty among friends, I give it props for that, but as something taking up almost two hours of my day well it was a waste. I was thinking as I watched that even though I don't like reading and prefer movies, this film would've been the exception and would have been funner to read. Okay, so I don't fancy older films and bad acting, editing, directing, sound etc. etc. but this films main flaw was that it was confusing at first and then by the time it falls into place you realize you don't care anymore. I found myself floating off thinking of other things, but it will be a film that I will remember.

Bottom line... if you enjoy war dramas and don't desire a lot of action then you may enjoy this. If you need excitement then rent one of Stallone or Schwarzenegger's films.

1/2 a star out of possible 4