radical-ed Reviews

I Love the '90s (2004)

I love VH1's nostalgic creations.

[7 October 2004]

I have to say, even though the later segments of "I love the 90's" seem to have been filmed a bit too soon (I love 1998 and I love 1999 specifically) This walk down RECENT memory lane is quite refreshing.

Making appearances to jibe at last decade's pop culture are: Hal Sparks, Michael Ian Black, Michael Bolton, and countless others including Lord of the Rings' Dominic Monaghan.

Even if you HATE the 90's you'll get a chuckle of the comments from the various celebrities they feature.

Highlights include:

Dominic Monaghan doing the MC Hammer Dance; Hal Sparks doing the "Forbidden Dance"; Jibes at films such as Resivior Dogs, Point Break, Austin Powers, and more; Insults to Garth Brooke and Billy Ray Cyrus; The "hotties of the 1990's"; The dirty rocker guys of 1990's; And the answer to the infamous question "why in the world would you clone a sheep?"

"They're all the same, they wear wooly sweaters and they go baaah."~~Dominic Monaghan.

If you need a good laugh I suggest you keep your eyes on VH1's program listings and catch it the next time it's on.

I give this an 8 out of 10 stars.

The Kentucky Fried Movie (1977)

Kentucky fried mess.

[16 September 2004]

The lamest movie I've ever seen in my life. Good for a few chuckles...but most of the humor is completely tasteless.

The "Big Jim Slade" character got old after a bit. The shower scene was vomitous. the funniest line in the whole movie was "Tough and Toothless", so that should be some indication of how juvenile the humor is.

If you're an 18 year old boy who has never seen boobies before, you might like it. Or if you've got a sick sense of humor, or an IQ of ten.

Other than that, PLEASE, spare yourself this disaster. Do not rent this one at all. It's not worth it.

I give it 0/10 stars.

Smooth Talk (1985)

aka "where are you going, and where have you been?"

[14 September 2004]

A few things I liked about this movie: It stayed fairly close to the story.

The terror element in the scenes between Connie (Dern) and Arnold Friend (Williams) were present, as were in the short story by Joyce Carol Oates.

Laura Dern's performance was excellent, as a young girl experimenting with flirtations as she becomes aware of her budding sexuality. But something happens one day...

Somehow, inadvertently, she attracted the attention of "Arnold Friend". (If you remove the R's from his name you find his true nature).

SHe's afraid to come out of her house...she's afraid to stay inside, because he'd come in and get her. It makes the hairs stand up on the back of my neck, the same way it did when I first saw Carole Kane pick up the phone to hear "Are you in the house alone?"

I also like the way a lot of the Symbolism of JCO's original story remains intact.

What I don't like:

Treat Williams should not have been cast as Arnold Ariend. It should have been played by somebody far less attractive, and far more creepy.

They changed the ending. fine enough, as it would be hard to recapture the ending as written by Oates. However, the new ending made no sense.

4 out of 5 stars ;-)

Road House (1989)

Worse Movie Ever.

[1 August 2004]

If you want gratuitous sex, gratuitous nudity, and gratuitous violence this is the movie for you.

However, if you're looking on a movie with <I>a theme, a plot, and good acting</I> pass this one up. I know of one person that enjoyed this movie, and that was only because she had such a crush on Patrick Swayze that she'd go see ANYTHING he was in.

He's not that great of an actor, (let's face it ladies). And if someone in the crowd does stand out,... well I can't think of anyone right now. Which should say something for the movie.

It was redneck galore, with a trivial plot, plenty of knock-down-drag-out fight scenes, and women's breasts. The whole movie was pointless, swayze proves he doesn't shine as well in a movie in which he doesn't dance, and well you get sick of his southern tough guy act about 15 minutes into the film.

OK one thing I did like about the movie, was the music.

so: in short, for the best part of the movie, pass up the DVD and go check out the soundtrack on CD.

all in all I give this a 1 out of 10.

Honey (2003)

Like Flashdance--except it has a point.**may contain spoilers**

[5 July 2004]

Jessica Alba (Dark Angel) plays a Hip-Hop dance teacher at an inter-city community center, with dreams of making it big in the music video business. Surprisingly early on in the movie, She gets her big break--a cocky, fast-talking Video director sees her dancing in a nightclub and offers her a part in his video... To me, it seemed that Honey's sucess almost came too fast, and too easy--before you know it she's choreographing videos for major Hip-Hop recording artists... Then I start to see, as the plot unwinds that success <I>wasn't the whole point</I> of this film...but rather, what that success could cost you...

Soon Honey finds she has no time for her boyfriend, her best friend, or the children she tries to keep off the streets... And the shady producer who <I>seemingly</I> made all her dreams come true, expects something from her in return...

When she doesn't give into the lecherous director's demands, he breaks promises to her--giving her job to her old rival.

The true test of Honey's character is how she rises above it, to find success on her own terms. To make not only her own dreams come true--but the dreams of those around her.

I liked this movie. Surprisingly it had a lot of heart. THe one thing I would have changed would have been to put her best friend Gina more front and center. As well as her boyfriend Chaz. They're too far in the background when they should be showing how important they are to Honey...

The acting of David Moscow (Michael, the shady producer) left much to be desired.

THe kids were cute, and the dancing was great!

I'm glad it wasn't just a trite movie like Flashdance was.

I give it an 8 out of 10. :D

The Others (2001)

**spoilers inside**

[15 June 2004]

I really liked this movie... that is...I enjoyed it, for the type of Gothic horror/thriller film that it is...

Like something that V.C. Andrews would write...

Nicole Kidman plays a devoutly catholic, neurotic, troubled mother of two frightened photosensitive children. When three visitors arrive, to apply for the jobs she's offering (nanny, housekeeper, and gardener) strange things seem to happen...

I was perceiving Mrs. Mills and her two cohorts as the villains, when in truth...they were there to help... they knew the truth before <I> I, as a viewer</I> did... I actually had to review to notice what a spectacular performance Fionnula Flanagan (Mrs. Mills)was giving us...

the Empathy she had for Grace (Kidman) and her two children... THe secret she was hiding...

Kidman is frantic, throughout the film...suspicious of the "intruders"...suspicious, that their house is being haunted by these intruders... In truth, it is kidman and her children that are doing the haunting...

Leaving the viewers with a bittersweet empathy for the souls of Grace and her children...

Swordfish (2001)

gritty, raunchy, and relying on pure star-power

[31 October 2003]

Despite eye candy for both guys (Hale Berry topless) and girls (Hugh Jackman in nothing but a towel)and great acting by those two--as well as John Travolta it is truly irredeemable.

Unnecessary sex and violence, and a convoluted plot.

Beyond star power, this film is a shallow mess.

I give it one star (for hugh jackman) out of ten.

Halloween III: Season of the Witch (1982)

Should be called "Season of the Lame"

[28 October 2003]

** may contain spoilers ***



This movie oddly enough has nothing to do with Michael Meyers, Laurie Strode, or Dr. Loomis... That makes it <I>irrelevant</I> at best. But that's not the worse part of it.

The worse part of it is either the boring non-scary plot, or the fact that the characters are so unlikeable and poorly developed.

The main character is an adulterer, a womanizer, who cares more about getting into a distraught young woman's pants than the welfare of his own kids who purchased self-destructing masks.

The whole idea that a chip off of a Stonehedge rock could make a children's mask self-destruct while watching an annoying commercial is a little too far-fetched.

Furthermore, the movie is not scary at all. If you want a good movie for halloween--watch H1 & H2. Skip the lame 3rd one, with that stupid jingle.