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Reviews
Vampires (1998)
A terrible film, made all the more unbearable by the unnecessary, inexplicable presence of a Baldwin.
Don't get me wrong- John Carpenter is a fine horror director (see 1982's The Thing), but this fumbling hodgepodge of a movie could have been put together by an amateur. Weak plot line, lame Marilyn Manson-esquire villain, and an obnoxiously displayed gore factor are only a few problems, not to mention James Woods' character is such a cliché that all of his bad-ass attitude is utterly phoned in.
The final straw? Baldwin. Not Alec, the other one. Daniel. Or was it Steven? Or... oh, what's the difference? Regardless of which brother it is, he can't act, and it disgusts me that he probably got paid thousands of dollars for this half-bit character while a swarm of younger, smarter, and more talented actors are unemployed.
The good news: at least it gives you some skin.
Sin City (2005)
Not perfect, but still a great film
There's no denying that visually Sin City is a ride- a very violent one. Rodriguez makes a film that has a Tarantino-esquire feel but is somehow markedly different from the latter's work.
What makes the film great is not only the direction and cinematography, but the three main leads- Willis, Rourke, and Owen do incredible jobs, arguably some of their best work. Elijah Wood and Nick Stahl deserve some recognition too for taking a chance on edgier roles- to say that these two are playing against type is an understatement. Rosario Dawson, Michael Clark Duncan, and Benicio del Toro are great as always. The only off-key performance is from Alba- sure, she's hot, but she is a second-rate actress.
Nonetheless, Sin City is a dazzling meld of film noir, ultraviolent pulp, and Frank Miller's uncanny comic series.
The Manchurian Candidate (2004)
Almost as good as the original.
The idea to remake The Manchurian Candidate originally did not strike me as a good idea; the 1962 version is still regarded as a landmark film, especially as an epitome of Cold War paranoia. Now that the Cold War is over, why even try to legitimately rework the story and characters?
I'm not a fan of "political thrillers"- and I dislike applying the cliche here because this film goes above 99% of them- but this is an amazing movie. It never comes off as painfully contemporized, and it has an all A-list cast. Washington and Streep are, as always, great in their leading roles, but it's Liev Schreiber who really holds the show together with a star-caliber performance.
The Pledge (2001)
A pandering "thriller" that aims squarely at the 55+ audience.
This film received some great reviews, but I just don't get it. Sure, it's got Nicholson going for it, and there's a great scene with Benicio del Toro. To be fair, I had an inkling going into the theater that its main audience would probably comprise senior citizens- Jack's getting pretty old, though his acting hasn't deteriorated- but 45 minutes into the movie I was fed up with it.
The simple premise- retiring detective makes an oath that he will find a vicious child murderer- is grounds for a subtle thriller. Instead, the film plays up the atrocity of the crime poorly, as if it's expecting us to say, "Wow! A child-molesting murderer! This movie has got guts delving into such an unimaginably repulsive taboo! Whoever the killer is, that man must be PURE EVIL!" As Jack tracks down some clues, the aged detective also shacks up with a foxy thirty- or fortysomething single mom and her adorable kid. Without giving anything away, the revelation of the killer's identity isn't much of a surprise, since so few supporting characters develop a personality, and although we're supposed to be even further shocked and disgusted, I was simply disgusted by the film's pandering clumsiness.
Leave this on the shelf at the nursing home- it'll scare the pants off some unsuspecting septuagenarian. Now go rent Lang's "M", a vastly superior film that achieved exponentially more than this blunder in 1931.
The Unknown (1927)
Imperfect but inimitably weird, plus a great cast.
Tod Browning is much better known for his "Dracula" (1931) and, to a lesser extent, the cult classic "Freaks" (1932) than for this oddity from the limelight of the Silent Era. From the opening scenes, in which an armless man (Chaney, natch) undresses a young Joan Crawford during a circus act by pitching daggers with his feet, this is a characteristically dark, warped picture from Browning that draws a great deal of power from Chaney doing what he does best: playing a tormented freak secretly endeavoring to gain the heart of a beautiful woman.
"The Unknown" isn't perfect, but it most certainly is memorable, distinguishing itself as one of the weirdest films of all time.
Saving Private Ryan (1998)
Under- or over-rated?
Does anyone remember seeing Saving Private Ryan for the first time? When it opened in summer 1998? Before all those good reviews and history teachers guilted you into watching it? Before it lost Best Picture to Shakespeare in Love?
Most people, I think, don't. So much praise was heaped on this film on its initial release and so much outrage was expressed when it was passed over in favor of Shakespeare in Love, it's hard to enter this movie "clean" and with a fresh mind. It always surprises me when a fellow movie buff calls Ryan "overrated", and I can't help but think that they're judging this movie on its reputation rather than its quality.
Yet watch Saving Private Ryan without the critical baggage: this is truly a great film. The much-discussed, stunning opening- and it is stunning- is followed by a war narrative that's every bit as good as Schindler's List. Anyone with a soul should have a powerful response to this movie, and positive or negative, there is little denying it is a testament to the profundity of cinema.
The Thing (1982)
Carpenter's best.
Can you believe that, when this movie was originally released, audiences despised it? An 80s remake of The Thing could very easily be a rehash of Cold War nostalgia- there's still something of a pretext about it- but the setting and effects employed here make it a horror classic. The stop-motion animation, instead of feeling dated and tired, has a more visceral impact than computer-generated FX, and the entire film is loaded with tension. And Carpenter doesn't let the movie fall back on cheap gore either: several scenes are just good, old-fashioned scary as hell.
Ghost Ship (2002)
Walk in, watch 10 minutes, walk out.
Absolute Halloween exploitation, even worse than (ugh) 13 Ghosts. The beginning is wickedly clever, but after 10 minutes or so, save another 90 minutes of your life and forget it. Everything after the opening credits is pathetically cliche, and the "horror" scenes are too lame and predictable to even register.
House of 1000 Corpses (2003)
At least it's different.
Rob Zombie's much-maligned debut probably deserves the critical flack it received upon release: Poorly edited, hardly written, and too weird/gross for most tastes, it holds an appeal only for the hardcore fans of the 70s splatterhouse era (and, even then, it's a limited appeal). Sid Haig plays Captain Spaulding with such zeal that it's almost a shame the character never becomes interesting. Every other "actor" in this movie (how did they get poor Karen Black?) hand in a by-the-numbers performance. Rob Zombie throws in some choppy blitz sequences, flashing scenes of gore and perversion for split seconds and disappearing, I guess to add to the "madness" of it all, but instead of coming off as unnerving or tantalizing, these interludes are really just frustrating. He also tries experimenting with prolonging a scene of gun-to-the-head tension, but that doesn't quite work either.
House of 1000 Corpses hopes only to survive based on its shock value, and for those who are familiar with the Italian horror genre and grindhouse classics like I Spit on Your Grave, it adds up to a queasy retread. But, on the other hand, this is probably the only film of its kind to be released in at least 10 years (excluding, of course, straight-to-video garbage). And while I doubt there really were 1000 corpses, the body count must have been somewhere in the mid-triple digits. For those looking for campy horror, it's worth a look.
Lake Placid (1999)
95% worthless.
For a horror movie, surprisingly few fatalities and hardly any gore. Filled out by a lukewarm cast, led by a bland Bill Pullman. Only 2 semi-redeemable factors:
1. The sight of a former Golden Girl cursing out some disrespectful youngins; and
2. Fonda is cute.
Nightforce (1987)
80s garbage.
A definitive example of 80s action trash: probably the only people who would shell out cash for a ticket were wasted teens looking for some skin and lots of explosions. Watch the opening sequence and marvel out how shoddy the editing is: when one of the baddies fires at an officer, there is actually what looks like a break in the film (as if to chop a few frames out) followed by a painfully out-of-sync death scene of the fat officer- ooph!- getting plugged by a bullet, which apparently stopped in mid-air for five seconds while the camera crew switched reels.
By today's standards (and 80s standards, probably) the action is sub-par, not gory enough to be interesting but violent enough to be morally inexcusable. Thankfully, every once in awhile Night Force falls into softcore porn territory- this is the only movie I've seen that interrupts a cheap shower scene with flashbacks to a cheap sex scene- but not nearly enough to make the rest of the movie bearable. Night Force exploits pointless violence and gratuitous sex, and poorly. Virtually everyone involved in making this film- actors, actresses, FX technicians, editors- have officially lost any artistic integrity they once had.
Plan 9 from Outer Space (1957)
What's wrong with you people?
How does the zenith of Woodian garbage end up anywhere outside the bottom 20? This film is regarded on six continents as The Worst Film Ever, and for good reason, which I won't even bother to repeat here.
Judging from the demographic breakdown, Plan 9 is unable to break the bottom 20 because an unfortunate number of people rated it a 10 based (I hope) on its legendary badness. But truly, giving Plan 9 anything above a 2 is really just an insult in disguise: this is remembered for being genuinely, utterly, and undeniably awful. Don't take that away from it.
O Brother, Where Art Thou? (2000)
Overall disappointment from the usually solid Coen brothers.
This film is very well-shot; its images of the 1930s South are visual candy. And the eyes don't have all the fun: the soundtrack is even better, with "The Man of Constant Sorrow" only one of a dozen excellent tracks.
But in terms of writing, directing, and acting, O Brother is a disappointment. Structured loosely around Homer's Odyssey, the tone remains cynical and detached. Clooney, awarded a Golden Globe for his starring role, should be applauded for trying something different, but his performance seems like it was pulled from an extended bit part. His two dim buddies, likewise underdeveloped and played as two-dimensional buffoons, embody the sneering jests the Coen brothers make about Southern culture.
American History X (1998)
Norton carries an otherwise unremarkable film.
I don't purport to have the greatest taste in movies, but I can't help but feel that this movie does not belong in the top 250, especially not the top 100. If ranking great performances, then yes, Edward Norton certainly qualifies: his turn as a neo-Nazi skinhead is stunning, possibly one of the most powerful portrayals of pure hatred. Covering the gamut from heartbreaking to frightening, he never lets the character degenerate into a cliche.
If only the same could be said for the rest of the movie. American History X is unquestionably preachy, and even if it's a good kind of preachy (I like the ending, although to many it will be predictable), it's too by-the-numbers approach hinders the filmmakers' ambition to make a profound message movie. Save Norton, the rest of the players could be cardboard cutouts from any after-school special about bigotry and diversity.
But, of course, an after-school special wouldn't include homosexual rape.
And despite its shortcomings, watch this movie. Norton is incredible.
12 Angry Men (1957)
Masterful piece of minimalist cinema
Ever wonder why anyone would want to sit through a long, dialogue-heavy B&W film shot almost entirely in a single, boring room when there are thousands of other movies with all the whistles and bells of modern culture?
This movie is the reason. 12 Angry Men is probably one of the best stage plays adapted to film, with the juror seats filled by some of the greatest actors of the 50s. Each character avoids becoming a stereotypical cliche, and all the performances are memorable, most notably Lee J. Cobb and, of course, Henry Fonda. Interestingly shot, intensely acted, and an indelible morality play.
Bringing Out the Dead (1999)
Another cinematic powerhouse from Scorsese.
Prior to its release, Bringing Out the Dead was hyped as Taxi Driver Redux; but it received mostly lukewarm reviews and was a commercial failure. Tragically, few people may be able to appreciate this movie for the near-masterpiece it tries to be. Critics complained that Cage, formerly regarded as an "edgy" actor, wasn't in top shape for the lead here, but at some moments his performance is unforgettable. (The drug-induced meltdown is as intense as movies get.) Credit should also go to Tom Sizemore, besting Goodman and Rhames as best supporting player. And highest kudos are due to the cinematography team, whose splicing gives every scene a razor-sharp energy.
The Public Enemy (1931)
Worth seeing for Cagney's performance alone.
I like this movie as much as the next guy, but face it: if not for Cagney, this film would hardly be remembered at all. The supporting cast are static bit players, the script isn't overly impressive, it follows a predictable storyline, and the thematic elements are overly didactic and dated. Public Enemy has gone down in film history as a piece of pre-code brutality, and some scenes are indeed worthy of notoriety: the grapefruit-in-the-face scene is legendary, and the piano execution has always impressed me.
But without Cagney's fiery turn as Tom Powers, this gangster parable would be bland as toothpaste. Whereas all other characters are expendable, he makes Powers a true villain worthy of the history books. The expression on his face before his last raid and his exit in the pooring rain are electrifying.