ophelia_hardin Reviews

Resident Alien: The Ghost of Bobby Smallwood (2022) Season 2, Episode 10

Lost the plot

[4/10 · 27 March 2024]

What's with all the touchy-feely exposition among characters who are only peripheral to the plot? This is a fish out of water story, not a melodrama about the emotional travails of the tadpoles who live in the same pond.

I'm willing to bet there were too many women in the writers' room. When guys have a few beers they get crazy and come up with funny ideas. When girls drink they get lacrimose and melancholic and romantic, especially when it's that time of the month.

Both sexes like comedy, but not many men watch the Hallmark Channel or Lifetime movies. Enough with the bathetic subplots among secondary characters - stick to the premise.

London Kills (2019– )

Shaky-cam makes it impossible to watch

[1/10 · 26 June 2021]

Cameraman must have Parkinson's or the budget was too low to buy a tripod. After 15 minutes I sampled a couple other episodes and realized I'd probably need a barf bag if I were to watch more of this hum-drum police procedural because of the nausea induced by all that wavering, quivering, oh-so-artful cinematography. Thanks, but no thanks.

Life with Father (1947)

What a dud. Had potential, but...

[4/10 · 31 May 2021]

Obviously a stage play adapted for the screen but instead of a series of comical vignettes we're treated to course after course of bland half-hearted scenes which don't capture the competition and conflict between the characters, nor the humor.

It tries at both and succeeds at neither, which is a shame because with either better direction or better delivery, chiefly by Wm Powell, this could have been amusing.

I saw the "Newly Restored" version on Amazon streaming in May, 2021 and the resolution was mediocre and the color, whew! It might have been Technicolor once but it looks like a Ted Turner colorized version of a B&W film.

Taylor looks good in a corset but she doesn't have much screen time and does little more than smile and add to the scenery.

Low Flyers (2019)

Intentionally lowbrow, and pulls it off perfectly

[8/10 · 12 April 2020]

The pacing of this film is notable because it never rises to great heights nor sinks to anything slightly below fart jokes. It's an even-keeled journey following four dimwits as they make their way through Europe on college holiday toward Amsterdam, dealing with trials, tribulations, and obstacles along the way.

On arrival they are met by more mishap and misadventure but manage to pull through by virtue of happenstance, pluck, and sheer ignorance.

The actors, and their characters, pull it off with the typical dry and ironic humor only the Brits have mastered. All are very charming.

The movie is sweet, almost juvenile, completely stoopid, and I will probably watch it again because I probably missed a lot of the subtle sight gags.

The Blair Bitch Project (2000 Video)

Delightfully Stoopid

[7/10 · 17 January 2020]

One can't have particularly high expectations for a parody of _The Blair Witch Project_ yet this is a goofy little gem. It doesn't take itself too seriously and avoids belaboring the joke by going on too long. You can tell they had fun making it and who knew Linda Blair would genuinely join in the silliness?

Be sure to keep an ear peeled for the song at the closing credits.

Órbita 9 (2017)

Low on candlepower

[7/10 · 27 September 2018]

Producers and directors think they are fooling the audience by keeping the lighting low to hide shoody set design and/or to create "atmosphere". I wanted to watch this movie but after 15 minutes I skimmed through a few chapters ahead, and then to the end and the entire movie needed a couple thousand more light bulbs.

I think the premise is cool though, and I enjoyed the first 15 minutes, but already I can see where it's going.

One more complaint: where the hell did they get the translators for the subtitles? My Spanish is mediocre at best, yet I caught enough mistakes I was shaking my head every 30 seconds.

Primeval (2007–2011)

All downhill after series 3

[7/10 · 2 August 2018]

Shoulda, woulda, coulda and didn't end at the finale of series 3.

Yet it proved to be popular, so they added more money to the budget and less money to the writers and more to the makeup and set production design than thought.

If I may coin a neologism, it was disimpressing after series 3. Both the Director of photography and the editor ought to be strung out and shot.

Too many quick cuts, too much Handicam action, too much photoshopped matté photography -- or "green screen" as they call it these days.

Lifeline (2016–2017)

WARNING: Awful English subtitling translation

[3/10 · 29 October 2017]

My Spanish is barely passable but when the English subtitling appears to have been translated by an 8 year old, the distraction makes it almost impossible to enjoy the drama. Sadly, not an uncommon occurrence among foreign shows and though I may be in the minority because I speak a few languages, surely it can't be that expensive to hire translators who are actually fluent in both, or even multiple, tongues?

Even so, the plot is an old one, done by Karloff in the '30s if I recall correctly. This is a boring repetition of same, swaddled in color and fancy camera-work Don't waste your time.

No Limit (2012– )

What went wrong?

[6/10 · 29 October 2017]

This series started out great. Season one has great scripts, good characters, compelling plots and beautiful cinematography.

Season two rolled around and the production staff must have changed hands. Instead of nice, tight, two-part stories, we got a long, rather boring story arc that was confusing and consisted of catching a bad guy portrayed by an actor whose sole ability was to glare malevolently through smoke-hued glasses. The cinematography began to resemble Hollywood's, there were too many fight and shoot 'em up scenes.

Season three rolled around and is barely watchable. I don't even think I'll finish it. I think everyone quit giving a damn, including the actors. The plot is like caramel apple rolling down a dirty street, collecting whatever bits of debris lie in its path.

So, watch season one. It's great and beats the pants off anything out of Hollywood in the last 15 years. Watch season two, but be forewarned. Watch season three if you're a masochist or are stuck in a hospital bed with nothing better to do.

PS -- The subtitling (English) is excellent, except for the amusing omission of a certain swear word...

Suspension (I) (2008)

Not 2001: A Space Odyssey, but....

[7/10 · 23 February 2009]

It makes for nice Twilight Zone episode. I think the guys who did it deserve some credit for the story and the storytelling. There's certainly nothing wrong with it and I don't know if a bigger budget would have helped all that much. The lack of it isn't in evidence, which is also to their credit.

What you've got is a supernatural premise and its conclusions; competently acted, shot, edited and scored. It's got a theme, a style, decent characterization and a compelling plot. Nothing more, nothing less.

There are far worse ways to spend 98 minutes and I enjoyed it. Rod Serling would be proud. In a word: sweet.