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Asmodeus (2015)
Awful. Just Awful.
I'd like to preface this by saying i'm not the kind of person who brands every bad movie "THE WORST MOVIE EVER MADE!" so when i say this was awful i mean it in a measured, thoughtful way. That said, this movie was truly terrible. The actors were painfully embarrassing to watch, the script offered them no help either, in fact the majority of the dialogue felt ad-libbed and awkward. The story was senseless as well but the ACTING! I'm not even sure if i should call it that, it feels disrespectful somehow.
I think movies that normalize same sex relationships (because it, you know, IS normal) are good but i'm not sure why they all had to be screwing each other, because everyone who's been to jail ends up gay?
In some places this was bad enough to be funny but mostly it was just really, really bad. Not in any way scary, no atmosphere, no gore and despite the aforementioned couplings no actual nudity (i know that matters to one or two of you!).
I pity the actors involved in this, the rest of the crew don't have their faces shown, they'll be able to cash their checks and move on, but history will have a permanent record of what these actors did, maybe time will forgive them for this monstrosity. Maybe.
Also whoever applied the blonde employees make up needs more lessons, it really was distractingly bad.
Classroom 6 (2015)
Back to School! (see what I did there?)
I'll start by openly admitting that I'm one of those people who actually enjoy found footage movies, even this type of Grave Encounters mimicry, but this was not an enjoyable experience. The set up had promise but didn't manage to deliver anything but the worst of the genre. Too many characters confused what little plot there was and the scares (even jump scares) were non existent. The atmosphere was okay and i did like the way they chopped in forward flashes of things to come but overall it failed. It failed to follow story lines through, it failed to answer any of the questions it asked, it failed to make me care about the people and it failed to scare.
It is short but when there are so many movies out there that do it right (or at least to a satisfactory standard) there's just no point in watching this one, it will disappoint.
The Warp (2013)
A confused, rambling mess
I think this may have been an anti war film, or anti big business. All that really came through was the distinct lack of a storyline. It is poorly acted, poorly edited and poorly thought out. The under developed characters amble from one scene to another with little to no explanation as to why they're doing the things they're doing. The deaths are rambling and meaningless and despite the fact that at under seventy minutes this is a short film it feels like hours of incoherent student films smashed together with a little blood and called horror. I will say that the poster looked good, but that's the only decent thing i have to say about this bad, bad movie.
Run, don't walk.