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angelafoltz
Reviews
Pirates of Treasure Island (2006)
Now knowing, less harsh reviews...
Now that I know that the production was meant to be "tongue-in-cheek" I can enjoy the movie for what it was. If anyone is claiming they didn't laugh their asses off while watching this movie, then they have a major case of with taking themselves way too seriously. Having seen almost every version of Treasure Island Available, including Muppet Treasure Island, I can say that this doesn't stand up to it, and yes, I too was howling in rage as some points; but that was only when I wasn't howling in laughter. If you can take a joke, and see a movie for what it is--- poking fun at a genre and being intentionally silly (and between you and me, sometimes it is harder than it looks to be deliberately BAD, especially as BAD as this movie appears at times) this movie was fun. Watch it with a crowd, with buckets of popcorn to throw at the screen, and every time someone says something remotely pirate like, shout, "Arrrrrrrrr matey!" at the top of your lungs, I'm sure you'll have a modicum of fun. (No rum required, however it may make the evening FAR *FAR* more enjoyable.)
Snow Queen (2002)
Kill The Beast!
Hallmark wowed me with Gulliver's Travels back in the day. Even the remake of Snow White, while kind of freakish, but beautiful with Kristin Kreuk in it was a helluva lot better than this lumbering hulk of garbage.
That said, please understand that I am a loyalist, and The Snow Queen and The Little Mermaid were my two favorite fairy tales of all time (you could say that Hans Christen Anderson was my first favorite author- I even liked Danny Kaye as Hans in the movie). I disliked the fact that Gerda and Kay(Kai) were so much older, and their little flirtation with romance, it felt heavy handed and false. There's no way that just after a couple of months and one kiss Gerda would chase off after Kay. Even with his silly Help Me note.
That said, I think that the bits with Kay and the Snow Queen could have been considerably edited down, and more time spent with Gerda on her travels. I am not sure about the poster who said that there was no robber girl, but there was. I do know that the travelling thru the seasons was added because of the whole "the mirror is the devils creation and he gave it to the seasons..." bs storyline. Which, of course, is utter tripe.
As far as being beautifully shot; sure, if you like white. Everything frm the frozen land looked as if it had been sprayed with canned snow, nothing really looked good. I didn't really like what they did to the snow queen; all in all, it was a complete disappointment to me. ESP the fact that I rented it and didn't think to remember that since it was hallmark it was probably a freaking miniseries or at least a two part movie. Christ I have been sitting in front of the tv for close to four hours!
Two thumbs down, and a very bad rating. The acting is horrible, and the only thing I truly liked was the clothes.