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Reviews
Robin Hood (2010)
Robin Hood's arrow falls short of legend.
I expected so much from this movie. I didn't get my timeless love story, my epic battle scenes, by clever dialog, or nifty band of outcasts. Robin Hood had once again been perverted.Ridley Scott: I am disappointed in you. And whoever wrote this piece of crap too. You have ruined the story of Robin Hood. Again. And Russell Crowe: You're old. Sorry. And why so serious? Have some fun. Be cool. Not old, fat, and serious. Cate was okay. Not her worst, but not herr best. The camera work was sorta dizzying, but the scenery was nice. Do not watch this movie if you want to keep any clear representation of history in your mind. Sigh.
Main Street (2010)
This movie blew up like harzardous waste. Pun intended.
I expected so much from this talented group of people. This movie blew up in my face like hazardous waste. Pun intended. Honestly, I couldn't find the strength within me to suffer this horrible film. I skipped a couple parts and didn't miss anything. One: Orlando Bloom attempted a southern accent. Please. Two: This old lady creeped me out. Three: This hazardous waste guy and a different older lady fell in love. Ew. Four: They all had southern accents. Which was sorta annoying. I watched most of this movie and can't even tell you what the plot is. The production was average at best, the plot was... (Wait... There was a plot?), and it sorta jumped all over the place with no clear purpose. This movie was a waste of time on all counts.
Puss in Boots (2011)
Never judge a movie by its trailer...
Puss in Boots! I was excited to see this movie. The previews were amazing!!! But I learned something from Puss in Boots besides the cheesy theme of friendship and honesty: NEVER JUDGE A MOVIE BY ITS TRAILER! I took a small child to the film with me so I won't look like a creeper. Her reactions to the rare slap stick comedy were the only good thing about this film. The 3D was pitiful, the plot was weak, and the character building was
uh, lacking. This movie was not what I expected. And the stupid egg dies at the end! WHAT? This wasn't very funny either. There was some humor for adults, but just not enough funny stuff period. Rent it if you feel compelled to burn 90 minutes of your life.
Real Steel (2011)
Fun for all ages and types
I did not expect Real Steel to have any substance, but I have been proved wrong. I am a sixteen year old girl with no interest in robots or boxing, but I thought this was a great movie. It was more than a bang up sports movie with sweat and blood. Er, oil... Wonderful chemistry, a solid plot, and cool special effects. Don't think it is going to change your life, but you might just cry a little bit.It had a lot of heart, which I did not expect. The little kid did a really nice job. The film would have been a lot better if Hugh Jackman had ripped everyone apart with his claws at the end though
I actually liked this movie.
A Walk to Remember (2002)
Totally predictable and mushy.
A Walk to Remember was what I expected. Totally predictable. Old story. Punk boy meets good girl. She changes him. They fall in love. She dies of a tragically romantic incurable disease. He goes on to live his miserable life alone and heartbroken. Oh yeah.. There is random singing too. And nowhere in this movie did they take a walk. Ever.Just saying. But the acting was okay. Shane Dawson was good and Mandy Moore seemed honest. The plot- predicable. Camera work and directing was average at best. I can understand why a lot of Christians like this movie because of the values. But it was kinda boring and sappy. Don't watch this unless you like romantic goo. I won't watch it ever again.
The Three Musketeers (2011)
Amusing, but slightly pointless...
The Three Musketeers is a film I have long awaited. Seriously. I've been following this. Two words: Orlando. Bloom. I was excited to see it, but did not expect a lot from this movie, so I was not disappointed. This movie had dark and fuzzy 3D, a confusing and pointless plot, and weird twists. Props to the new kid though. I forget his name, but I actually liked him. I assumed he would be annoying and ruin the movie, but he carried his part well. Also, there were some hilarious parts. This was a fun, crazy, and weird movie
You can tell they had fun making it. It is entertaining, but be prepared to walk away confused and baffled. Don't expect too much.
Christina (2010)
Thought-provoking, but dark.
Indie films usually stink. Not this one
The acting was okay in this movie. Actually, it was superb. Stephen Lang, especially, was wonderful. I found the American guy rather pointless. The movie could have left without him and it wouldn't have changed too much. The dialog is a bit cheesy and romanticized, but gets the emotions across. Christina is definitely a physiological drama. The plot was surprisingly solid. It may seem pointless and quite boring, but if you have patience, the movie develops nicely. The lighting and colors added to the drama and reminded me of Hitchcock. This movie was low
low, low, low budget, but you didn't really notice. It all took place in one room and there were basically only three people in it. An interesting picture of post-war Germany is painted. I found it very interesting. This film was unpredictable, disturbing, and thought-provoking. I didn't LIKE it, but I don't have any complaints. I wouldn't see it again. I would suggest this may disturb children.
Happy Feet Two (2011)
Happy Feet Two is... Number Two.
WARNING: Spoilers.
My companion, Stephanie, and I fought our way through the psychotic Breaking Dawn crowd to see Happy Feet Two. After getting into theater number six with tremendous effort, we surveyed our fellow film-goers (all who seemed to be over the age of fifty or under the age of five). Anyway, as we slipped on our obscenely geeky 3D glasses (they have to do something about those, by the way
) and the film began, we quickly regretted our decision not to go see Breaking Dawn.
Happy Feet Two opened with a large musical number with penguins singing and dancing
reminiscent of the first Happy Feet movie. I don't trust movies that start with large musical numbers. They usually are trying to distract you from the lack of plot. But hey.
So the movie was basically about Mumble's son, Erik, or something like that
The penguins get stuck in a pit because of global warming and they all have to work together to save their lives. If only we had penguins in Washington
Also. There was a random puffin bird. But even more random were Bill and Will the Krill, voiced by Matt Damon and Brad Pitt. I can assure you; they had nothing to do with the plot of the movie and were purely comic relief because this ended up being a dark film with heavy environmentalist agenda. Bill and Will were the saving grace of Happy Feet Two. If you rent this movie (because sure as heck don't pay ten bucks to see it), I suggest you fast forward to all the parts with the krill. Forget the doomed, dancing penguins. The main thing bugging me about this movie, besides the crappy musical numbers (although kudos to P!NK), dying polar bears, and Hugo Weaving as a penguin, is Mumble. He hasn't aged since the first movie. He is fluffy and yet has a chick. This is disturbing.
Even though is movie sucked and was extremely random, little kids will probably like it. And I have to admit, the baby penguins (especially the one with the accent) are pretty darn cute. The 3D was good...But basically, if you want my advice, don't go see this movie. Don't take your kids. Don't take your dogs. Don't take your mother-in-law. They will have nightmares of drowning polar bears and oily puffins.