I watched an episode, fully expecting to be bowled over with excessive political correctness and cutesy-poo. Well, while Molly was a bit too unrealistically upbeat for my liking, my criticisms end there. In this episode, Molly helped a local naturalist outfit baby cranes with ID tags. So, the story was full of environmental consciousness. A native "crane dance" taught to Molly by her traditionally-minded relative helped the team attract the birds. So, there was a good dose of multiculturalism and a fascinating look at Alaskan Athabascan (perhaps Koyukon) folkways. We also learned some native words and even traditional recipes that evidence some Inuit influence. Overall, I found the material fascinating and absorbing. I think kids would be entranced by the songs, dances, and foods, and the adventures were reasonably comical and harmless. FIRST CLASS EFFORT!
Reviews
42 Reviews
Race to Witch Mountain
(2009)
lots of fun and plausibly constructed
18 May 2019
Don't know why this rates such a low score. I found it highly entertaining. The way it simultaneously scoffed at the "ancient aliens" and "alien abductions" crowds while trotting out a plot line that admitted to both was quite endearing. The young stars did adequately in their roles, and I enjoy watching The Rock as he explores his dramatic limits. In my way of thinking, the film clearly merits an 8.
Pathfinder
(1987)
outstanding and fascinating
24 January 2019
I'll say right off the bat that I can't imagine why this rates only 7.3 stars. Perhaps it's too highbrow for most audiences. Frankly, if you don't have either the curiosity or the brains to try to understand all the profound anthropological underpinnings, or you know zero about shamanism or primitive magic or Lapps (I believe they now style themselves Saami), this isn't for you. Too bad, because it's extremely exciting, absorbingly plotted, and beautifully filmed.
The Evil That Men Do
(1984)
iffy as a movie but fantastic torture scene
18 January 2019
For those who have a violent bent, note that the chief villain in the movie is a twisted doctor who devotes his medical scholarship to the perfection of torture. In a disturbing, even gut-wrenching, scene, the doctor tortures an Argentine journalist to death. The man is bound naked to an iron frame with electrodes attached to his fingers, toes, tongue, and testicles. Dials are used precisely to control the electric current delivered to the prisoner. A large audience sits in attendance, smiling and cheering as the victim emits bloodcurdling screams. Eventually, he is electrocuted, with various attendants commiserating, "Too bad the torture didn't last longer" or some such. Very, VERY disturbing but a real thrill for tortureheads.
Ancient Aliens
(2009– )
on balance, middle of the road
8 December 2018
This is informative, fun, and visually stunning. The "authorities" interviewed throughout the course of an episode are household names. Of course, the show has run out of steam--not to mention MATERIAL--over the course of umpty-ump seasons.
My biggest problem is the PSEUDOSCIENCE. People talk out of their backsides about things of which they know nothing. I'm watching an episode now, and I just took down this gobbledygook to analyze: ". . . the strange electrical frequencies they were said to emit."
Problem 1: "They were said." Who said? The statement shoots itself in the hoof just out of the starting gate.
Problem 2: "Emit." Static objects don't EMIT anything when power isn't applied by some means, and--whatever they emit--they aren't "strange frequencies." Rather, frequencies are merely one of the characteristics of emitted signals.
Problem 3: "Strange frequencies." What's a "strange" frequency? That's like saying Jim's document is "strange" or Bob's necktie is "strange": it's an incredibly vague, even altogether unworthy, characterization.
Problem 4: In general--as is the case here and, come to think of it, MANY times throughout the course of a typical episode--we have NON-ENGINEERS and NON-SCIENTISTS flapping their lips about things they don't understand,including "frequencies" and "resonance." Big words that the speaker clearly fails to understand in the least do not bolster the show, rather, they cheapen it, tawdrify it, ishkabibble it.
Oh, another one I love is the incessant foolishness about "vortices." Per these jokers, anything and everything is a "vortex." They don't know the math, and they say the stupidest things as a result. "These three points are aligned along an arc." Guess what? An arc can be fitted to ANY three points on the earth's surface! It gets worse: they point to a single structure, like an obelisk, and claim that it's somehow "aligned" to the Pleiades, or some other mellifluous and authoritative-sounding nonsense. The problem: how can ONE point be "ALIGNED" TO ANYTHING?
Non-engineers discuss engineering. Non-mathematicians discuss mathematics. Even putative experts run light on professed expertise: this Dilettoso character with is image processing--I'll bet you dollars to donuts--couldn't even DEFINE the term "frequency."
Oh, here's more nonsense: such-and-such is clearly "binary code." What does THAT say? NOTHING! I can identify ANY structure or collective that has two types of things: rocks and interstices between the rocks; lakes and dry separators that abut them; sheaves knocked down in a crop circle and sheaves left standing--and assert that it's a BINARY CODE.
Speaking of which, we REALLY go off the deep end when we claim that a message was found in the Chilbolton crop circle or whatever that "clearly" identified something with something, including floating-point coordinates. How did the "translators" manage to figure out the aliens' representation of floating-point numbers--if they even used floating (as opposed to fixed) point--given the multitude of implementations found in currently fielded CPUs? Maybe they use a third representation altogether! Finally, what character set was used? ASCII? EBCDIC? The aliens' own character set? Sorry, there's too much room for fudging and nonsense altogether when you just dump several Mb worth of bits at my feet and say, "translate this." It's a fools' errand.
Well, I'm out of vitriol. It's fun to watch the show because of the sense of nostalgia and because the people (Erich von Daeniken, Giorgio Tsoukalos, etc.) are so VERY excited. But they all too often get excited about UTTER NONSENSE and LEAP to conclusions.
My biggest problem is the PSEUDOSCIENCE. People talk out of their backsides about things of which they know nothing. I'm watching an episode now, and I just took down this gobbledygook to analyze: ". . . the strange electrical frequencies they were said to emit."
Problem 1: "They were said." Who said? The statement shoots itself in the hoof just out of the starting gate.
Problem 2: "Emit." Static objects don't EMIT anything when power isn't applied by some means, and--whatever they emit--they aren't "strange frequencies." Rather, frequencies are merely one of the characteristics of emitted signals.
Problem 3: "Strange frequencies." What's a "strange" frequency? That's like saying Jim's document is "strange" or Bob's necktie is "strange": it's an incredibly vague, even altogether unworthy, characterization.
Problem 4: In general--as is the case here and, come to think of it, MANY times throughout the course of a typical episode--we have NON-ENGINEERS and NON-SCIENTISTS flapping their lips about things they don't understand,including "frequencies" and "resonance." Big words that the speaker clearly fails to understand in the least do not bolster the show, rather, they cheapen it, tawdrify it, ishkabibble it.
Oh, another one I love is the incessant foolishness about "vortices." Per these jokers, anything and everything is a "vortex." They don't know the math, and they say the stupidest things as a result. "These three points are aligned along an arc." Guess what? An arc can be fitted to ANY three points on the earth's surface! It gets worse: they point to a single structure, like an obelisk, and claim that it's somehow "aligned" to the Pleiades, or some other mellifluous and authoritative-sounding nonsense. The problem: how can ONE point be "ALIGNED" TO ANYTHING?
Non-engineers discuss engineering. Non-mathematicians discuss mathematics. Even putative experts run light on professed expertise: this Dilettoso character with is image processing--I'll bet you dollars to donuts--couldn't even DEFINE the term "frequency."
Oh, here's more nonsense: such-and-such is clearly "binary code." What does THAT say? NOTHING! I can identify ANY structure or collective that has two types of things: rocks and interstices between the rocks; lakes and dry separators that abut them; sheaves knocked down in a crop circle and sheaves left standing--and assert that it's a BINARY CODE.
Speaking of which, we REALLY go off the deep end when we claim that a message was found in the Chilbolton crop circle or whatever that "clearly" identified something with something, including floating-point coordinates. How did the "translators" manage to figure out the aliens' representation of floating-point numbers--if they even used floating (as opposed to fixed) point--given the multitude of implementations found in currently fielded CPUs? Maybe they use a third representation altogether! Finally, what character set was used? ASCII? EBCDIC? The aliens' own character set? Sorry, there's too much room for fudging and nonsense altogether when you just dump several Mb worth of bits at my feet and say, "translate this." It's a fools' errand.
Well, I'm out of vitriol. It's fun to watch the show because of the sense of nostalgia and because the people (Erich von Daeniken, Giorgio Tsoukalos, etc.) are so VERY excited. But they all too often get excited about UTTER NONSENSE and LEAP to conclusions.
A Christmas Story
(1983)
an abomination, pure and simple
8 December 2018
It is not funny. It is not clever. There's a single joke: "You'll shoot your eye out." The kid is an abject moron. Come to think of it, if he still believes in Santa Claus yet sees fit to fire off guns, he probably would shoot his eye out. The characterizations of parents and teachers are paper-thin. And--given the over-the-top anti-xenophobia of The Left--how did the producers get away with this tawdry notion of "humor" that has Chinese waiters singing "Deck ze harrs wiss bows of horry"?
The Curse of Oak Island
(2014– )
utter trash and red herrings
17 November 2018
There's little else that need be said. The show is abject trash. Each episode builds upon its antecedent's red herrings while laying the groundwork for its postcedent's share. There is zero redeeming content.
Think about this: with all our modern technology; with all the scores of committed efforts sponsored by extremely well-to-do people; why is it that nothing has succeeded in finding anything? BECAUSE THERE'S NOTHING TO FIND!
Think about this: with all our modern technology; with all the scores of committed efforts sponsored by extremely well-to-do people; why is it that nothing has succeeded in finding anything? BECAUSE THERE'S NOTHING TO FIND!
A Monster Calls
(2016)
stunning fantasy with a great big heart
6 September 2017
Warning: Spoilers
I was expecting yet another derivative monster-reveals-his-inner-beauty-to-disturbed-child melange, but I was surprised by a brilliant, tender piece of the filmmaker's art. This outstanding movie reveals a few days in the tortured life of Conor, an English lad whose mother is dying of terminal cancer. Conor is bullied by his classmates, misunderstood by his father (who lives in America), distanced--as if deliberately--by his grandmother, rather breezily portrayed by Sigourney Weaver, and appreciated only by the giant spirit of the yew tree, who visits in his dreams--or are they dreams? Through a series of semi-random vignettes and the monster's assortment of stories, Conor learns about good and evil, happiness and sadness, growth and stunting, reticence and forthrightness, and pretense and honor as he comes to grips with his young mother's rapidly worsening terminal cancer and his tortured relationship with his grandmother. There are some unexpected and quite improbable scenes and happenstances--as when Conor beats the faeces out of a bullying schoolmate--but the tale is generally straightforward (notwithstanding the twenty-foot walking tree monster, albeit), and we end up with a sensitively etched portrait of a vexed but talented young man facing the hard realities of growing up in an uncertain world. Five stars!!
From Hell It Came
(1957)
really poor
19 June 2017
Warning: Spoilers
I remember this inane movie from the "Creature Features" that used to air from 8:30 to 10:00, Saturday night, in NYC in the 1970s (whether on channel 9 or channel 11 I can't recall, though "Chiller" had better movies than "Creature Features").
Even though my bedtime was nine--I was about eight--my folks would let me stay up till ten on Saturday to watch this foolishness.
The creature, who looked like a walking tree with a wizened, exaggerated face, was called a TOBBONGA or a TOBOGGAN or something. There was a knife sticking out of its heart. He had been sacrificed--or executed--for some reason (I think he was framed by "the bad guy") and was then buried standing upright in a hollow tree trunk. The witch doctor is the bad guy's descendant. He wears a crown made of, like, long, sharp bones--maybe the tusks of warthogs (which, as I recall, do NOT live on South Pacific islands, but, rather, on the southern African veldt). The toboggan throws him down the mountainside after knocking off his hat, and he gets impaled on the spiky bones.
At the end, our heroes kill the rampaging toboggan by shooting at the protruding knife and driving it further into the creature's "heart." And they didn't even get to ride the toboggan . . .
Even though my bedtime was nine--I was about eight--my folks would let me stay up till ten on Saturday to watch this foolishness.
The creature, who looked like a walking tree with a wizened, exaggerated face, was called a TOBBONGA or a TOBOGGAN or something. There was a knife sticking out of its heart. He had been sacrificed--or executed--for some reason (I think he was framed by "the bad guy") and was then buried standing upright in a hollow tree trunk. The witch doctor is the bad guy's descendant. He wears a crown made of, like, long, sharp bones--maybe the tusks of warthogs (which, as I recall, do NOT live on South Pacific islands, but, rather, on the southern African veldt). The toboggan throws him down the mountainside after knocking off his hat, and he gets impaled on the spiky bones.
At the end, our heroes kill the rampaging toboggan by shooting at the protruding knife and driving it further into the creature's "heart." And they didn't even get to ride the toboggan . . .
outstanding
10 June 2017
This is a phenomenal episode with a tight, engaging story. If any less-than-stellar reviews are posted, I suspect they reflect the limited intellect of the reviewers which made it difficult for them to understand the Vori language that was deliberately stilted to emphasize the cultural and psychological differences between them and Starfleet.
Finding Bigfoot
(2011– )
beyond awful
26 February 2017
This show is beyond awful.
The true student of the sasquatch phenomenon is, in fact, convinced of the animal's reality. The animal is also quite rare. But little of that is relevant to this abject horror of a show.
Matt Moneymaker is, simply speaking, a fraud. This long-haired hippie runs "expeditions" where simpletons pay hundreds of dollars for the privilege of porting his gear, while--when nobody's looking--he sends an associate ahead to knock on trees. Now you know enough about him and his "Bigfoot Research Organization" (BFRO) to understand the underpinnings.
The typical episode of "Finding Bigfoot" consists of several days of the four-man crew--Matt and his four simple-minded groupies--interviewing a group of local yokels, most of whom are liars from the word "go." They then trek into the woods to conduct a "night search" for sasquatch. Howling and knocking on trees, Matt--every time--CLAIMS TO hear a sasquatch respond, yet nobody else ever hears it. The result: Matt jumps up and down, successfully having perpetrated another fraud; Ranae and Cliff stare glassy-eyed; while the acromegalic cretin, Bobo, mouths off about these woods being "squatchy." What pathetic nonsense. It does such damage to those who would devote serious time, even funding, to a legitimate anthropological mystery.
The true student of the sasquatch phenomenon is, in fact, convinced of the animal's reality. The animal is also quite rare. But little of that is relevant to this abject horror of a show.
Matt Moneymaker is, simply speaking, a fraud. This long-haired hippie runs "expeditions" where simpletons pay hundreds of dollars for the privilege of porting his gear, while--when nobody's looking--he sends an associate ahead to knock on trees. Now you know enough about him and his "Bigfoot Research Organization" (BFRO) to understand the underpinnings.
The typical episode of "Finding Bigfoot" consists of several days of the four-man crew--Matt and his four simple-minded groupies--interviewing a group of local yokels, most of whom are liars from the word "go." They then trek into the woods to conduct a "night search" for sasquatch. Howling and knocking on trees, Matt--every time--CLAIMS TO hear a sasquatch respond, yet nobody else ever hears it. The result: Matt jumps up and down, successfully having perpetrated another fraud; Ranae and Cliff stare glassy-eyed; while the acromegalic cretin, Bobo, mouths off about these woods being "squatchy." What pathetic nonsense. It does such damage to those who would devote serious time, even funding, to a legitimate anthropological mystery.
wild and woolly, with the right balance of everything
15 March 2016
Warning: Spoilers
This was a phenomenal episode. I was particularly impressed because, the way things started out, I thought it could readily end up in just another boring shootout with predictable plot lines. But that's not at all what happened. I was impressed with Carol's resourcefulness and most UNIMPRESSED with "Neegan" being sufficiently plumb-ignorant to let Carol hold on to a rosary with a metal crucifix that could (and, in fact, did) turn into an escape tool. The episode offered the proper balance of tension, horror, character development, edge-of-your-seat timing, and relief. I was left with one question, however: how is it that Carol managed to escape from the room where she was being held? Were there no locks on the door? If not, then how did Paula and her buddies keep the "growlers" (their term for "walkers") from barging in? Surely they have enough "intelligence" to push or pull an unlocked door open!
The Real Wolfman
(2009 TV Movie)
disappointing and shocked that the hosts "got along"
2 November 2015
Warning: Spoilers
I'm surprised to see myself penning this, as I'm a genteel, educated fellow. However, if I were George Deuchar, and I encountered that jackass hippie trash Ken Gerhard, I would have honey dipped his a*s for openers. The kid is just so obnoxious and offputting and, to say the least, having written a trashy, poorly researched book about giant bird observations across the American Midwest in the 1970s does _not_ qualify him to research the Beast of Gevaudan. So, any (four) stars earned derive solely from George's patience putting up with his revolting "research partner." I would have stranded him in France and left a dead homeless person chained to him by the waist for him to explain to the police!
Escape from New York
(1981)
shallow, disappointing trash
8 August 2015
I first saw this when I was seventeen. I was probably completely stoned, as I couldn't remember the first thing about it. I've stuck with it religiously despite the commercials.
Let's get down to brass tacks. This is simply awful. All the characters seem to have had far too much testosterone for breakfast. All they do is posture: You're from Special Forces team X? Well, I'm from Navy SEALs team Y, you pussy! Despite the fact that the Manhattan federal prison colony is peopled by folks who can't spell their own names, they all know Snake Plissken like he personally owes them money. As for Russell, putatively starring as the notorious Snake Plissken, he waltzes through the movie, half-interested and utterly unconvincing in the role.
I have seen many, many escape and "tough guy vs. tough guy" movies. This one is about as abominable as it gets.
Let's get down to brass tacks. This is simply awful. All the characters seem to have had far too much testosterone for breakfast. All they do is posture: You're from Special Forces team X? Well, I'm from Navy SEALs team Y, you pussy! Despite the fact that the Manhattan federal prison colony is peopled by folks who can't spell their own names, they all know Snake Plissken like he personally owes them money. As for Russell, putatively starring as the notorious Snake Plissken, he waltzes through the movie, half-interested and utterly unconvincing in the role.
I have seen many, many escape and "tough guy vs. tough guy" movies. This one is about as abominable as it gets.
100 Things to Do Before High School
(2014–2016)
disappointingly derivative and PHONY beyond belief
19 July 2015
Why would an adult even watch this program? Well, there are two reasons. First, I have two preteen sons, and I'm interested in what they _may_ be induced to watch, though their intelligence presupposes them to favor content way beyond _this_ drivel. Second, I am entranced by Nickelodeon's endless experiments in subtly forced social engineering, in particular, in convincing children that there's something wrong with them if 25 to 33 percent of their friends aren't black.
Others have pointed out that this show strongly resembles "Ned's Declassified School Survival Guide," and, indeed, it does. (Of course, how far can one go in retreading the same old material?) What offends me the most is not the stupidity, but the incredible phoniness of the forced troika of protagonists. There is ABSOLUTELY NO WAY that Fenwick--with his offensively in-your-face speech patterns and Maasai warrior-type body language--would be of the REMOTEST social interest to appearance-conscious C.J. or timid Christian. It doesn't work on any level, much as the strainedly nutty, profoundly offensive behavior (not to mention, physically revolting body language) of Cookie didn't work alongside Ned and Moze in "Ned's." (Nor did it escape my notice--from the demographic propriety section--that, while not "in your face" about it, C.J. is obviously Hispanic.)
One final word: I am disappointed that an unbelievably talented voice actor like Jack de Sena, who has demonstrated his remarkable ad-libbing capabilities in many contexts, would waste time with the undistinguished role of the guidance counselor in "100 Things." I guess he, too, needs to earn a few ducats. You can't live on "Avatar: Airbender" (now THAT is a FABULOUS show!) residuals all your life . . .
Others have pointed out that this show strongly resembles "Ned's Declassified School Survival Guide," and, indeed, it does. (Of course, how far can one go in retreading the same old material?) What offends me the most is not the stupidity, but the incredible phoniness of the forced troika of protagonists. There is ABSOLUTELY NO WAY that Fenwick--with his offensively in-your-face speech patterns and Maasai warrior-type body language--would be of the REMOTEST social interest to appearance-conscious C.J. or timid Christian. It doesn't work on any level, much as the strainedly nutty, profoundly offensive behavior (not to mention, physically revolting body language) of Cookie didn't work alongside Ned and Moze in "Ned's." (Nor did it escape my notice--from the demographic propriety section--that, while not "in your face" about it, C.J. is obviously Hispanic.)
One final word: I am disappointed that an unbelievably talented voice actor like Jack de Sena, who has demonstrated his remarkable ad-libbing capabilities in many contexts, would waste time with the undistinguished role of the guidance counselor in "100 Things." I guess he, too, needs to earn a few ducats. You can't live on "Avatar: Airbender" (now THAT is a FABULOUS show!) residuals all your life . . .
Through the Wormhole
(2010–2017)
used to be a ten, quickly degenerated to zero: result is FIVE
20 May 2015
I used to love this show. It revealed fascinating developments at the forefront of neuroscience, genetics, exobiology, and so forth.
It has degenerated to nearly useless. I shall provide an example drawn from this evening's new episode, "Do We Live in the Matrix?" whereby it is opined--and, ostensibly, justified--that we could very well be living in a computer simulation.
We meet a renowned Swiss AI expert. He tells us there's no need to express pi in so many zillions of digits that wrap around the globe ad infinitum: we can just put "C/d"--where, of course, C is circumference and d is diameter.
Uh . . . the difference is that the first one is practical (I can measure off 3.14159... inches.) The other is purely notational (I cannot measure off C/d inches.)
The same expert tells us that, "I can express the entire universe in ten lines of code," and beams with pride as he presents an extremely vague and general algorithm in an ALGOL-like PDL.
Uh . . . in a suitably high-level language, I can express the entire universe in ONE SYMBOL of code. SO WHAT: what PRACTICAL, IMPLEMENTABLE purpose is accomplished?
Another scientist shows some symmetric matrices to mathematicians without any commentary and is disappointed that they don't get excited. When he builds corresponding models of atomic structures, then everyone's excited.
Perhaps if he had TOLD them they were looking at symmetric spin tensors within a Lie algebra, they would have achieved a meaningful apotheosis. Instead, we hear snippets of some meaningless argument about bits and bytes and shmits.
(I recall from a previous episode--although it's in the same vein--that some physicist claimed that, if he builds such and such a fiber optic circuit, he can go backwards in time by 10 to the -18 seconds. I presume that even a physicist realizes that this is completely unmeasurable and thus unverifiable: sending the data from the measuring device to the managing computer takes literally billions of times longer than the 10 to the -18 seconds putatively recovered. I know, I know, physicists pooh-pooh anything that isn't physics as beneath them, but I don't think that's the issue here.)
I SEE WHAT THE PROBLEM IS HERE: the producers of the show have ZERO understanding of the concepts being discussed, Morgan Freeman's golden throat notwithstanding. This, combined with the PERPETUAL problem that participating experts in TV shows experience, viz., that pieces and snippets of their cogent essays are quoted out of context, results in a stream of meaningless dribble that endeavors to sound technical in its misapplied terminological splendor but ends up delivering just so much imbecility in sheep's clothing, albeit dressy and richly ornamented.
What a PROFOUND disappointment!
(FYI, the popular go-back-in-time theme is utterly impossible. This is trivially easy to demonstrate. Suppose I set a box on my kitchen table and send it into the past. IT WOULD HAVE BEEN THERE YESTERDAY! Case closed.)
It has degenerated to nearly useless. I shall provide an example drawn from this evening's new episode, "Do We Live in the Matrix?" whereby it is opined--and, ostensibly, justified--that we could very well be living in a computer simulation.
We meet a renowned Swiss AI expert. He tells us there's no need to express pi in so many zillions of digits that wrap around the globe ad infinitum: we can just put "C/d"--where, of course, C is circumference and d is diameter.
Uh . . . the difference is that the first one is practical (I can measure off 3.14159... inches.) The other is purely notational (I cannot measure off C/d inches.)
The same expert tells us that, "I can express the entire universe in ten lines of code," and beams with pride as he presents an extremely vague and general algorithm in an ALGOL-like PDL.
Uh . . . in a suitably high-level language, I can express the entire universe in ONE SYMBOL of code. SO WHAT: what PRACTICAL, IMPLEMENTABLE purpose is accomplished?
Another scientist shows some symmetric matrices to mathematicians without any commentary and is disappointed that they don't get excited. When he builds corresponding models of atomic structures, then everyone's excited.
Perhaps if he had TOLD them they were looking at symmetric spin tensors within a Lie algebra, they would have achieved a meaningful apotheosis. Instead, we hear snippets of some meaningless argument about bits and bytes and shmits.
(I recall from a previous episode--although it's in the same vein--that some physicist claimed that, if he builds such and such a fiber optic circuit, he can go backwards in time by 10 to the -18 seconds. I presume that even a physicist realizes that this is completely unmeasurable and thus unverifiable: sending the data from the measuring device to the managing computer takes literally billions of times longer than the 10 to the -18 seconds putatively recovered. I know, I know, physicists pooh-pooh anything that isn't physics as beneath them, but I don't think that's the issue here.)
I SEE WHAT THE PROBLEM IS HERE: the producers of the show have ZERO understanding of the concepts being discussed, Morgan Freeman's golden throat notwithstanding. This, combined with the PERPETUAL problem that participating experts in TV shows experience, viz., that pieces and snippets of their cogent essays are quoted out of context, results in a stream of meaningless dribble that endeavors to sound technical in its misapplied terminological splendor but ends up delivering just so much imbecility in sheep's clothing, albeit dressy and richly ornamented.
What a PROFOUND disappointment!
(FYI, the popular go-back-in-time theme is utterly impossible. This is trivially easy to demonstrate. Suppose I set a box on my kitchen table and send it into the past. IT WOULD HAVE BEEN THERE YESTERDAY! Case closed.)
derivative and sickeningly politically correct
12 November 2014
A parent of preteens occasionally finds himself watching such drivel. Never mind the fact that nearly every aspect of the series seems to have been lifted bodily from "Ned's Declassified School Survival Guide" (perhaps the producers felt their viewers wouldn't be familiar with that decade-old show). The political correctness is truly revolting and renders the entire scenario unbelievable. Of course, the white male protagonist has to have a black best friend and a female best friend. I can deal with the girl, but the black friend is unlikely, made profoundly more so by said friend's ghettoish mannerisms. Crispo wouldn't be caught dead with this guy were he a real boy. Next, we find out that the African-American fellow is a "genius" and "the smartest kid in the school," but presently we find that he is a study animal. A true genius never studies, as paying attention in class and reviewing one's notes once before an exam more than suffices. These facets of profound surrealism pretty much ruined the whole show for me, even if some of the comic scenes involving the raccoon rescue, the runaway bulldozer, etc., were mildly amusing. Too bad.
The Middle
(2009–2018)
pretty decent but derivative and, ultimately, disheartening
21 October 2014
I am witless to explain how this show has become so popular. Never before have I encountered so blatant a ripoff of another show--in this case, "Malcolm in the Middle." Even the very name is obviously a carbon copy! We have an overbearing wife with a strange name (homage to the kids' strange names in "Malcolm"); a schmucky husband (who even looks like Bryan Cranston!); a dopey teenage son (to a great extent, a copy of Reese); a wacky and manipulative youngest son (to a great extent, a copy of Dewey, who was the youngest until Lois's baby was born); imbecilic names for the sons (viz., Axl and Brick: compare to Reese, Malcolm, Dewey); and a nondescript geographical locale. To be sure, the parents are friendlier in "Middle" than in "Malcolm," and the kids are, strangely enough, more likable. There is also markedly more adherence to religious themes, as exemplified in the episode that featured the singing, guitar-playing "Reverend Timtom." But, from the top down; from left to right; even through and through, one encounters considerable difficulty trying to determine how "Middle" is NOT a carbon copy of "Malcolm." Tsk, tsk.
Now, let's take a deeper look at the family's problems and the reasons that underlie them.
Fundamentally, Mike and Frankie are abominable parents. Mike is an abject imbecile whose only interests in life consist of Colts and Pacers games. The only time I have ever seen Mike demonstrate any animated, "hands-on" parenting skills is when he punishes Axl for having insulted his football coach—FOOTBALL, mind you, caring not one whit for whether the kid passes English, history, or math. Frankie is a hapless sucker whom we can fairly characterize as a professional complainer. In terms of likability, the only kid who is halfway decent is Axl: he may be an abject moron, but what you see is what you get. Sue is a total loser and has zero positive features to commend her; I find it most curious that such a cash-strapped family would invest so much as a dollar toward her never-ending orthodontia. And, now, for Brick. Ah, Brick. We always see "geniuses" characterized as complete creeps in such shows as "Malcolm in the Middle" and "The Big Bang Theory." The first problem, however, is that Brick is far from a genius. True, he does enjoy reading, and, true, he expresses himself with some facility, but that comes from reading copiously and thus picking up a wide variety of turns of phrase. As for "brightness," I would be hard-pressed to assign Brick an IQ beyond the "somewhat bright" range, perhaps 115. Of course, as a result of his "genius"—to be interpreted strictly as (1) reading constantly, (2) being a creep, and (3) having no friends —the family marginalizes him, making the problem worse. However, this is only the tip of Brick's iceberg. His overall behavior—coupled with his endlessly irritating proclivity to repeat portions of a sentence under his breath while staring at his feet—indicates to me some autism spectrum disorder with schizoaffective components, albeit, admittedly non-paranoiac. (Who would even come up with that whispered repetition thing? Is the character modeled on the profoundly disturbed son of one of the show's writers?) The fact that he can become embroiled in utterly nonsensical pursuits (such as spending ninety minutes to choose the color and font in which to embroider "Brick" on his Mickey Mouse hat) reflects the facts that (1) his parents have never disciplined him; and (2) he suffers from obsessive-compulsive disorder. IMHO, Brick is in serious need of a heavy-duty antipsychotic regimen.
On a related note, the show would be less insulting to its viewers who actually possess the merest fraction of a brain if it showed any consistency. In one episode, we "discover" that Brick has a photographic memory. Isn't it odd how, two episodes earlier, he was unable to recall on what date his mother was supposed to come to school wearing such-and-such costume? Photographic memory my butt! But this is just one example of how--in typical fashion--Hollywood thumbs its nose at the intellectual, making him a nerd or creep to be shunned and reviled, even in the case (as here) where the child in question CLEARLY IS NOT an intellectual! (Of course, this always shines through as nothing but thinly disguised jealousy: however many billions can't purchase one point of IQ!!)
Now, let's take a deeper look at the family's problems and the reasons that underlie them.
Fundamentally, Mike and Frankie are abominable parents. Mike is an abject imbecile whose only interests in life consist of Colts and Pacers games. The only time I have ever seen Mike demonstrate any animated, "hands-on" parenting skills is when he punishes Axl for having insulted his football coach—FOOTBALL, mind you, caring not one whit for whether the kid passes English, history, or math. Frankie is a hapless sucker whom we can fairly characterize as a professional complainer. In terms of likability, the only kid who is halfway decent is Axl: he may be an abject moron, but what you see is what you get. Sue is a total loser and has zero positive features to commend her; I find it most curious that such a cash-strapped family would invest so much as a dollar toward her never-ending orthodontia. And, now, for Brick. Ah, Brick. We always see "geniuses" characterized as complete creeps in such shows as "Malcolm in the Middle" and "The Big Bang Theory." The first problem, however, is that Brick is far from a genius. True, he does enjoy reading, and, true, he expresses himself with some facility, but that comes from reading copiously and thus picking up a wide variety of turns of phrase. As for "brightness," I would be hard-pressed to assign Brick an IQ beyond the "somewhat bright" range, perhaps 115. Of course, as a result of his "genius"—to be interpreted strictly as (1) reading constantly, (2) being a creep, and (3) having no friends —the family marginalizes him, making the problem worse. However, this is only the tip of Brick's iceberg. His overall behavior—coupled with his endlessly irritating proclivity to repeat portions of a sentence under his breath while staring at his feet—indicates to me some autism spectrum disorder with schizoaffective components, albeit, admittedly non-paranoiac. (Who would even come up with that whispered repetition thing? Is the character modeled on the profoundly disturbed son of one of the show's writers?) The fact that he can become embroiled in utterly nonsensical pursuits (such as spending ninety minutes to choose the color and font in which to embroider "Brick" on his Mickey Mouse hat) reflects the facts that (1) his parents have never disciplined him; and (2) he suffers from obsessive-compulsive disorder. IMHO, Brick is in serious need of a heavy-duty antipsychotic regimen.
On a related note, the show would be less insulting to its viewers who actually possess the merest fraction of a brain if it showed any consistency. In one episode, we "discover" that Brick has a photographic memory. Isn't it odd how, two episodes earlier, he was unable to recall on what date his mother was supposed to come to school wearing such-and-such costume? Photographic memory my butt! But this is just one example of how--in typical fashion--Hollywood thumbs its nose at the intellectual, making him a nerd or creep to be shunned and reviled, even in the case (as here) where the child in question CLEARLY IS NOT an intellectual! (Of course, this always shines through as nothing but thinly disguised jealousy: however many billions can't purchase one point of IQ!!)
Amish Haunting
(2014– )
inaccurate, phony, and blasphemous imbecility
30 September 2014
Once again, just as in the asinine "Amish Mafia," our kindly Protestant friends are picked on and picked at for no other reason than that they wish to be alone. The Amish are devout Christians who also adhere rather closely to the spirit of the original 613 commandments; as such, they will have absolutely nothing to do with ghosts, spirits, poltergeists, witches (all covered by the Hebrew term "ovoth"), or even the merest suggestions of such phenomena. They stick close to God and distance themselves maximally from the Devil; any other considerations are, well, not considered. Against my better judgment, I watched a second episode, where we learned that (a) tombstones come in all shapes and sizes in an Amish graveyard (WRONG: they're all the same), and (b) electric appliances are not allowed in Amish homes (WRONG: connecting to public power lines is disallowed, but battery power and private water power and such are used regularly). PLEASE avoid this absolute drivel as a courtesy to your conservative neighbors who have never bothered anybody.
Z Nation
(2014–2018)
SyFy creates yet another poor-quality knockoff
24 September 2014
I was really looking forward to this, since I've been a fan of "The Walking Dead" for years and have become frustrated at its quality recently having flagged here and there. There is some great material available to would-be zombie apocalypse story writers, as primitive fear-threat and hunter-killer and run-and-hide are timeless themes that, properly manipulated, can be thrilling, and then some. Boy, was I ever disappointed by the first two episodes of SyFy's highly touted new series. The characters are silly, largely one-sided, and generally flat; the situations are implausible; the monsters are largely non-threatening, moving about as rapidly as diseased tortoises; and--almost incredibly--the plot lines are, simply put, uninteresting. Once again, SyFy took something promising and turned it into an dull pap of mindless also-ran.
Destination Truth
(2007–2012)
poor knockoff in an already-hackneyed field
18 August 2014
I find Destination Truth to be profoundly disappointing. My first complaint is that they must be addressing an audience of ignorami, as the lion's share of the "little-known mysteries" that they examine are quite well known among fans of cryptozoology or paranormal (e.g., haunting) phenomena. I find the main guy, Josh, to be overwhelmingly arrogant and pseudo-knowledgeable: I'm not sure whether it's his mispronunciation of words that's more annoying to me than his corrupted citations of almost-facts. The specialty of the show is what I term the "red herring cliffhanger": we are introduced to a "Holy cow!" situation that introduces--guess what--a COMMERCIAL and is immediately followed by a letdown. The attempts at detecting evidence of, say, ghostly phenomena are about as childish as, "Whoa, did you see that?" "O.K., guys, I'm getting creeped out," "Oh, it just got colder in here," and that old standard, "Did someone or something just touch me?" The simulated, nonsensical terror--ALWAYS dispelled and resulting in a zero-lessons-learned mission--reminds one (and this is FAR from a compliment) of "The Blair Witch Project" with a touch of bachelor's-degree-level biology or ecology.
The Unexplained Files
(2013–2014)
Lord have MERCY is this disappointing
13 August 2014
Hold your horses! Here comes Chris Bazootsky or someone, a retired deputy sheriff from somewhere, coming to share his law enforcement prowess.
"Law enforcement people are specially trained and are much better observers." I see: you took a four-hour class; that plus your military mindset and your IQ of 100 qualify you as bearer of Gospel?
Next, we review a theory about the 37th parallel or some nonsense. What he basically says is, "I have a theory about all these data points that are scattered north and south of the 37th parallel: I think they're centered on the 37th parallel." Holy cow!!
Next, we interview two brilliant women, both looking like obese, midwestern bovines. "I don't know what that thing was, but I'm certain it was a UFO." Another revelation! If you're not certain what it was, then, BY DEFINITION, it's a UFO! If you meant, "I'm certain it was from outer space," you should have said that.
With this misproduced, misspoken nonsense, plus the de rigueur foolishness about Archuleta Mesa and cattle mutilations and the same-old same-old, I've had my fill of this abject nonsense after one paltry episode.
"Law enforcement people are specially trained and are much better observers." I see: you took a four-hour class; that plus your military mindset and your IQ of 100 qualify you as bearer of Gospel?
Next, we review a theory about the 37th parallel or some nonsense. What he basically says is, "I have a theory about all these data points that are scattered north and south of the 37th parallel: I think they're centered on the 37th parallel." Holy cow!!
Next, we interview two brilliant women, both looking like obese, midwestern bovines. "I don't know what that thing was, but I'm certain it was a UFO." Another revelation! If you're not certain what it was, then, BY DEFINITION, it's a UFO! If you meant, "I'm certain it was from outer space," you should have said that.
With this misproduced, misspoken nonsense, plus the de rigueur foolishness about Archuleta Mesa and cattle mutilations and the same-old same-old, I've had my fill of this abject nonsense after one paltry episode.
Unsealed: Alien Files
(2012–2015)
too much misinformation and pseudoscience
29 July 2014
This show is reasonably enjoyable as an introduction to the UFO phenomenon for those who are not otherwise well versed in the history of observations and attendant theories. Unfortunately, the utility of the show ends there.
There is rampant misinformation: incorrectly cited personal names; incorrectly cited (or just plain mispronounced) place names; and incorrect (sometimes woefully so) dates. (The biggest offender in this department, by the way, is William Birnes, J.D., Ph.D.) I can almost deal with this.
But what truly turned me against this show was the "revelation" that some loser had "decoded" the string of ones and zeroes that Sgt. Jim Penniston said he received "in my mind's eye" from the Rendlesham Forest UFO in 1980. How could anyone decode a random string of ones and zeroes and have any confidence in the result? What language do the aliens use? Is the binary ASCII or, perhaps, EBCDIC, or do the aliens have their own code? How remarkable that they believe in Roman characters! Worst of all, there are supposedly geographic coordinates --of the legendary island, Hy Brasil, no less! These are floating-point numbers. Amazing that they were decoded! Are they represented in mantissa/characteristic form with two sign bits? Are they fixed-point? Are they recorded in Intel format? PDP-11 format maybe? Why not CDC Cyber-6000 format? Anyone who claims to be able to ferret out useful information from a random bit string is full of it, and anyone who puts this "information" on his TV show should be shot.
There is rampant misinformation: incorrectly cited personal names; incorrectly cited (or just plain mispronounced) place names; and incorrect (sometimes woefully so) dates. (The biggest offender in this department, by the way, is William Birnes, J.D., Ph.D.) I can almost deal with this.
But what truly turned me against this show was the "revelation" that some loser had "decoded" the string of ones and zeroes that Sgt. Jim Penniston said he received "in my mind's eye" from the Rendlesham Forest UFO in 1980. How could anyone decode a random string of ones and zeroes and have any confidence in the result? What language do the aliens use? Is the binary ASCII or, perhaps, EBCDIC, or do the aliens have their own code? How remarkable that they believe in Roman characters! Worst of all, there are supposedly geographic coordinates --of the legendary island, Hy Brasil, no less! These are floating-point numbers. Amazing that they were decoded! Are they represented in mantissa/characteristic form with two sign bits? Are they fixed-point? Are they recorded in Intel format? PDP-11 format maybe? Why not CDC Cyber-6000 format? Anyone who claims to be able to ferret out useful information from a random bit string is full of it, and anyone who puts this "information" on his TV show should be shot.
Godzilla
(2014)
pseudoscience and psychological mishmash
6 July 2014
I invested nearly an hour of my life--which I can never recover--in this trash. Mind you, I'm quite the monster movie fan, having watched to death even the little-seen ones such as "Majin, Monster of Terror" and "War of the Gargantuas," but this was purely awful.
It started with abject nonsense. We see nuclear explosions on the Pacific in the 1950s, aimed at vaguely monstrous shapes. Cut to the Philippines in 1999, where we see a mine that has collapsed and gives us vague hints of super-sized fossils and (scientifically inconsistent) "radiation that just doubled." Move along to Japan, where a nuclear plant collapses for no reason and there's some babble about echolocation and electromagnetic pulses (EMP) and seismic waveforms and what-not. (It's funny how the supposed sonograms didn't even show functions of time, but relations {to the mathematician}, being multi-valued per instant of time.) Suddenly, it's fifteen years later and we're in San Francisco. Some military jock (with a drop-dead gorgeous wife and two you-wanna-squeeze-them-to-death-adorable little boys) gets a call about his father having been arrested in Japan. It seems dad--the eccentric who hung around after the nuclear station was destroyed--likes to climb around old ruins and look for "cover-ups" and "secret projects" and such, although we are given ZERO CLUE what these cover-ups might cover or what secrets these secret projects might hold. Dad goes fishing for his collection of ZIP drives and, of course, police are Johnny-on-the-spot (in an abandoned city, where wood lice climb all over the place and feral dogs roam the streets in packs) to pick up Daddy-San and Sonny Boy. Oh, did I forget to mention, Dad is an expert in all things scientific, because (a) he lives in a what looks like Samuel T. Cogley's (of ST:TOS fame) library and (b) has books scattered here and there with impressive-to-the-layman titles on their spines such as "Chemistry," "Physics," and "Echolocation." (Funny, but I studied a great deal of both chemistry and physics, and I've yet to encounter a professional text named either of those.) Before long, Dad and son are transported under heavy guard to some secret site where some I'm-not-sure-what-it-is is being subjected to electric pulses but someone "comes alive," putting out sonograms that "look exactly like" what was seen in the '50s and again in '99. Suddenly, after the order, "kill it" (excuse me, but, kill WHAT?), some goofy-looking creature that looks like it was borrowed from Cloverfield but suffered some shipping accidents en route appears, and we are confronted with blackouts and frenetic people running to and fro.
After a bit more pseudoscience and psychobabble, I lost my remaining patience and stalked out of the theater. Oh, well, it only cost me $1 at my community theater in my lovely south Florida retirement community . . .
It started with abject nonsense. We see nuclear explosions on the Pacific in the 1950s, aimed at vaguely monstrous shapes. Cut to the Philippines in 1999, where we see a mine that has collapsed and gives us vague hints of super-sized fossils and (scientifically inconsistent) "radiation that just doubled." Move along to Japan, where a nuclear plant collapses for no reason and there's some babble about echolocation and electromagnetic pulses (EMP) and seismic waveforms and what-not. (It's funny how the supposed sonograms didn't even show functions of time, but relations {to the mathematician}, being multi-valued per instant of time.) Suddenly, it's fifteen years later and we're in San Francisco. Some military jock (with a drop-dead gorgeous wife and two you-wanna-squeeze-them-to-death-adorable little boys) gets a call about his father having been arrested in Japan. It seems dad--the eccentric who hung around after the nuclear station was destroyed--likes to climb around old ruins and look for "cover-ups" and "secret projects" and such, although we are given ZERO CLUE what these cover-ups might cover or what secrets these secret projects might hold. Dad goes fishing for his collection of ZIP drives and, of course, police are Johnny-on-the-spot (in an abandoned city, where wood lice climb all over the place and feral dogs roam the streets in packs) to pick up Daddy-San and Sonny Boy. Oh, did I forget to mention, Dad is an expert in all things scientific, because (a) he lives in a what looks like Samuel T. Cogley's (of ST:TOS fame) library and (b) has books scattered here and there with impressive-to-the-layman titles on their spines such as "Chemistry," "Physics," and "Echolocation." (Funny, but I studied a great deal of both chemistry and physics, and I've yet to encounter a professional text named either of those.) Before long, Dad and son are transported under heavy guard to some secret site where some I'm-not-sure-what-it-is is being subjected to electric pulses but someone "comes alive," putting out sonograms that "look exactly like" what was seen in the '50s and again in '99. Suddenly, after the order, "kill it" (excuse me, but, kill WHAT?), some goofy-looking creature that looks like it was borrowed from Cloverfield but suffered some shipping accidents en route appears, and we are confronted with blackouts and frenetic people running to and fro.
After a bit more pseudoscience and psychobabble, I lost my remaining patience and stalked out of the theater. Oh, well, it only cost me $1 at my community theater in my lovely south Florida retirement community . . .
Alien Encounters
(2012–2014)
fun drama but extremely disappointing "science"
25 June 2014
The plot lines are reasonably entertaining in this miniseries, but the overpowering ignorance of the "scientist" and "sci-fi author" contributors is, to me, extremely disappointing. I shall provide several examples that hail from but a single episode, to wit, the one that aired this week detailing the American attack on the alien Quincy computer.
1. We were told that lasers can be "converted" into electricity. While this is not strictly correct, I'll accept the terminological laxity as a generalization. However, the "scientist" contributor indicated that the key was recognizing and receiving the proper "frequency" of the laser. This is utter nonsense. Laser light is laser light because of its collimation, not because of its frequency (= color).
2. A sci-fi author told us that electromagnetic pulse (EMP) weapons disable systems by "overcharging electrons." I guess this gentleman never took junior high school science, where we learn that the charge on an electron is fixed at approximately 1.6 x 10^-19 Coulomb. It is the electromagnetic waves impressed into the conductors by the EMP that fries the circuits, which has zero to do with the charge on the electron.
3. The DoD's "Queen" computer displayed statistics indicating that an EMP of so many amperes was to be transmitted. Amperes are a measure of current. EMP would be measured in transmitted power (viz., watts) or energy (viz., joules); the current induced in this medium or that is a function of its electrical resistivity and magnetic permittivity.
4. Orbiting debris lines up along the "magnetic field lines" surrounding the earth, sweeping from north to south. This is utterly nonsensical, looking more like a high-school text's depiction of magnetic field lines. In actuality, the "field" (no such thing, by the way: it's merely a mathematical abstraction) is EVERYWHERE, and nothing would line up along particular north-south lines, which would be basically indistinguishable from neighboring (=1 cm to the east, or what-have-you) lines.
5. We learn that we can protect things from EMP by disconnecting antennas. Is that so? Antennas are irrelevant to the susceptibility of electronic systems to EMP.
I get so frustrated by this pseudoscience that it makes it almost painful to watch the show. Next, when these clowns get into "quantum entanglement" and describe "verifying experiments" that are themselves riddled with errors and oversights, I want to head for the hills . . .
1. We were told that lasers can be "converted" into electricity. While this is not strictly correct, I'll accept the terminological laxity as a generalization. However, the "scientist" contributor indicated that the key was recognizing and receiving the proper "frequency" of the laser. This is utter nonsense. Laser light is laser light because of its collimation, not because of its frequency (= color).
2. A sci-fi author told us that electromagnetic pulse (EMP) weapons disable systems by "overcharging electrons." I guess this gentleman never took junior high school science, where we learn that the charge on an electron is fixed at approximately 1.6 x 10^-19 Coulomb. It is the electromagnetic waves impressed into the conductors by the EMP that fries the circuits, which has zero to do with the charge on the electron.
3. The DoD's "Queen" computer displayed statistics indicating that an EMP of so many amperes was to be transmitted. Amperes are a measure of current. EMP would be measured in transmitted power (viz., watts) or energy (viz., joules); the current induced in this medium or that is a function of its electrical resistivity and magnetic permittivity.
4. Orbiting debris lines up along the "magnetic field lines" surrounding the earth, sweeping from north to south. This is utterly nonsensical, looking more like a high-school text's depiction of magnetic field lines. In actuality, the "field" (no such thing, by the way: it's merely a mathematical abstraction) is EVERYWHERE, and nothing would line up along particular north-south lines, which would be basically indistinguishable from neighboring (=1 cm to the east, or what-have-you) lines.
5. We learn that we can protect things from EMP by disconnecting antennas. Is that so? Antennas are irrelevant to the susceptibility of electronic systems to EMP.
I get so frustrated by this pseudoscience that it makes it almost painful to watch the show. Next, when these clowns get into "quantum entanglement" and describe "verifying experiments" that are themselves riddled with errors and oversights, I want to head for the hills . . .
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