evgeneiac Reviews

The Expendables (2010)

So many big action stars they ran out of room for writers

[3/10 · 7 November 2023]

What an amazing collection of action stars! It doesn't even have to be that good of a movie to watch these guys in action, but somehow they managed to insult everyone. The story is so terrible that it's difficult to watch if you pay attention to anything. Nothing that happens makes sense. They attempt to shoehorn a backstory into the characters but none of it makes sense. It is as believable as the A-Team, but it takes itself seriously.

Somehow, despite all of the acting experience in this movie's stars, they all come across and wooden and artificial. This was made long before AI, but it looks like what you'd expect to get if you told AI to make an 80's action movei.

The Fall of the House of Usher (2023)

Poe more please

[2/10 · 13 October 2023]

Fall of the house of Usher is my second favorite Poe prose, which made me excited to see a modern adaptation. As a huge bonus, it was being done by Mike Flanagan whose Haunting of Hill House is my second favorite TV show.

To my dismay, It's less of an adaptation and more like a different person wearing another's skin in the vain attempt to make others think there's something in common.

The problem is that the series tries so hard to make social commentary in every scene that it forgets to tell a story. Not only is there a need to make a comment about society, it needs to make 20 and in that vainglorious.attempt it manages to fail at them all.

This show is so far off of the mark, it became too difficult to continue beyond the middle of the 3rd episode.

Shrinking (2023– )

A great concept poorly executed

[5/10 · 19 June 2023]

A group of friends with interesting backgrounds focused around a group of psychotherapists whose patients and themselves are dealing with difficult situations and it's played by actors who have performed well in other shows.

How can it go wrong?

Writing.

The dialog is prolific and they spend a lot of time talking about difficult life problems, but it's addressed at the level of a 16-year-old. It seems like how a teenager imagines how cool life would be if all of life's problems were handled this way. The characters become caricatures instead of people we can relate to. Driving home the immature experience is that some of the more relatable and realistic characters are those who actually are teenagers. They have genuine emotions and address their problems and concerns head-on.

The good adult characters are few and far between. Sean has an amazing story arc in just 3 episodes. It's a bit too stark as he goes from attempted murderer to troubled man with a good heart, but somehow Luke Tennnie pulls it off

Liz starts off strong and realistic playing a nice wall to bounce Jimmy's irresponsible ball off of. Unfortunately, she quickly devolves into an angry non-character.

Gaby acts like a 14-year-old so lacking in basic life experience that even though the show makes it clear that she's a therapist, it's impossible to see what kind of advice she could offer aside from teenage-level decorating tips.

Jimmy, despite being the main character and whose pain seems intended to be the fulcrum of the show, fails to show suffering, introspection, or understanding. He acts like a child whose parents never told him how to act around others and treat people with compassion. Despite being a therapist, he make everything about him.

Glass Onion (2022)

The first two acts were fun, but oh, that ending.

[6/10 · 28 January 2023]

The movie begins by introducing the main characters and does a great job of showing us their personalities in less than 2 minutes. Soon thereafter, the intrigue begins. The enigmatic Miles sends a box to the main characters who must solve its mystery to earn access to the enclosed invitation to Miles' private island.

The second half introduces the problem: the private desires and obstacles that each of the main characters possess and which make the activities in the rest of the movie harder to pin on an individual.

In the end, everything that happens is revealed. However, the climactic scene is a petty revenge tantrum that lacks any real substance. As much as I enjoyed the twists of the first two acts, the ending was little more than a temper tantrum.

Other People (I) (2016)

A meandering collection of scenes around a central theme.

[3/10 · 26 January 2023]

While the central theme of slowly losing someone and watching them decay, and the terminally ill patient's struggle with losing the people she loves and herself is a great place to start, this movie spends most of its time showing disjointed and irrelevant scenes from other characters. These scenes could be used as character building, but that doesn't pay off later. This feels like two movies: the story of David and the story of Joanne. Essentially nothing happens and it ends with (or is it really starts with) Joanne's death. While funny in places, this certainly isn't a comedy as the central theme implies.

Wednesday: Wednesday's Child Is Full of Woe (2022) Season 1, Episode 1

The writers don't understand the Addams

[3/10 · 24 November 2022]

The Addams family is kooky, spooky, and kooky. This show only partially gets the spooky part and misses everything else. Morticia and Gomez were always loving and playful not only with each other, but their children. What other father would blow up trains with their kids? This Morticia and Gomex are not especially different from other TV parents: controlling, serious, and not playful. Wednesday Addams was always the darkest of the family, but she never hurt anyone... except perhaps her seemingly immortal brother. In this series she nearly murders an entire pool full of kids in the first episode. She's mean, hateful, and violent. The playful love that undercut everything about Addams family before this has disappeared to be replaced by a goth teen angst drama. How disappointing especially with Burton involved.

Nope (2022)

Promising and interesting in parts, but the plot and characters are lacking

[4/10 · 28 September 2022]

Plenty of people have have called out the outstanding cinematography and it's well-earned. The landscapes are beautifully shot. Even when the alien is shown, it fits so well with the landscape. Which brings me to the next point: the movie's approach to the alien/monster is unique and one which could have been explored more. The acting is very good across the board. While Keke's character is the Jar Jar of this movie, she plays it well.

Somehow, aside from the first 10 minutes of the film, there is no character development. Even by the end of the movie, I don't feel like I've learned more about any character except the alien.

Emerald is a vapid waste of film. Her only contribution appears to be a failed attempt at adding nonsensical humor to the script.

Aside from learning what the alien is, the movie is entirely predictable. Alien hurts people, people fight alien by throwing random things at it, people overcome alien though dumb luck and wishful thinking.

The Batman (2022)

Good looks, confused story

[4/10 · 11 September 2022]

The sets and costumes look great and the city feels much bigger than other Batman movies.

The story is a confused mess. This is a police drama with characters named "Batman," "Catwoman," "The Joker, etc." Unfortunately, they feel disconnected from the main story. The plot would change little if they were removed from the film. Making matters worse is that the superhero/villain characters are one dimensional. Batman broods. Catwoman is angry. The Joker yammers. ...in every scene. The police seem confused about whether they want to kill Batman or if it's just fine for him to interfere in their investigations. This would be fine if something happened that changed their minds, but it doesn't. They just act differently in each scene. Like much of this movie, their actions exist outside of cause-and-effect.

The first 3/4 of the film offers little. There is no drama or risk that lead up to the final scene. The movie offers no background, no understanding, and god-forbid any character development. There aren't even action scenes to keep you preoccupied. You can watch the final 30 minutes and make up the rest in your head.

It's okay to take the franchise in a new direction. The point of going in a new direction is to go somewhere new, and/or to see something new along the way. This film pulls out of the driveway, meanders around a subdivision, and ends at a local Target. There are better ways to spend a Friday night.

Plus One (I) (2019)

Fun but lacking depth

[4/10 · 5 December 2020]

The movie tries to start off "fun and quirky," but neither Maya or Jack pull it off convincingly. There's nothing that feels genuine about either character. The movie tries to pull it together at the end when Alice and Ben finally have a real conversation and then glosses over Ben's reservations as if they have no merit and pretends that the whole idea is to just "go for it because it's fun," as if those are the only things needed for love and happiness. Everyone needs their needs to be recognized and met, not ignored or gaslit.

Happy-Go-Lucky (2008)

Mostly Gibberish

[3/10 · 7 January 2015]

-SPOILERS- During one night out, Poppy finds a man sitting in an abandoned building. He appears homeless and is chanting beautifully. She approaches him and they communicate. Everything the man says is gibberish, yet he keeps asking Poppy if she understands. She sincerely says, "Yea, I do." I believe her too. For Poppy also says nothing during the movie. She speaks almost entirely in platitudes, pleasantries and by repeating what the other person says. I kept waiting for it to change and although it does in a few scenes, she never becomes coherent or self-aware.

Scott, her driving instructor is her antithesis: angry, gruff and confrontational. He speaks by repeating his driving mantras and occasionally spouting conspiracy theories.

Although this isn't a silent film, it could have been. The dialog is hard to tolerate, and I imagine the film would be just as coherent and more enjoyable if watched with the sound off.

Chopper (2000)

Diary of a Fool

[2/10 · 16 May 2013]

This is 94 minutes of watching Chopper wander about town and shooting people at random. It becomes clear about 15 minutes in to the movie that Mark Read is as deluded about his self- importance as the film is about it's ability to say anything interesting.

Eric Bana does a nice job of delivering the BS that constantly flows from Read's mouth. He comes across and eloquent despite the shallow material.

Cinematography is well done. Colors are wrong in almost every scene of the movie as if it was filmed in the wrong light or with expired film. It emphasizes the insanity of Read's world while also making it feel like personal snapshots of the world in which he lived.