mt-kailash-1 Reviews

Troy (2004)

Mafia families battle in out in the ancient Mediterranean.

[4/10 · 3 September 2009]

Much has been made of the fact that the Gods were removed from the storyline but this is inconsequential as they are extraneous to the central story which is Achilles withdrawal from the war, the death of Patroclus, then the battle between Achilles and Hector.

None of the historical elements is accurate - the costumes, metals, weapons, fortifications are all wrong. This doesn't matter, everything looks ancient and lovely.

The storyline and characters however have been time warped out of all recognition. This film really shows a symbolic battle by two Mafia families for control of a lucrative patch. In order to assist this novel approach some who survived in the original story are clunkyly killed off in order the maintain the soap opera simplistic "Sopranos in Asia Minor" approach. It's fairly dreadful. All those production values are wasted on this piece of hackneyed old tripe. The script sounds like it was churned out for a parody. As I look at the screen now, Peter O'Toole gives the impression that he's just filling in the time until he can decently grab his paycheck and depart.

I too will depart.

4/10

The Tudors: The Northern Uprising (2009) Season 3, Episode 2

A Pilgrimage of Grace - job opportunities for elderly actors.

[28 August 2009]

This episode deals with the aftermath of the Pilgrimage of Grace where Henry -still resolutely and inaccurately slimline- take a vicious and bloody revenge on the faithful led by Robert Aske.

This episode is set in 1536 when Robert Aske was 36 years old . He is played (superbly) by 59 year old Gerald McSorley.

Cardinal von Waldburg makes an appearance. He was 22 years old in 1536 and was promoted to Cardinal 8 years later. However he is played by the 80 year old Max von Sydow - a 58 year gap.

"The Tudors" contempt for any grasp on historical reality continues apace.

Scenes from a Marriage (1973)

Souless couple spout endless twaddle.

[2/10 · 18 September 2007]

The tiresomeness of this cannot be endured.

A Swedish couple long married with children, manage to give the impression that they've only recently met and spout long speeches about how they really love/hate/are indifferent to each other while maintaining the preoccupied air of those who are worried that they might embarrass themselves by involuntarily breaking wind at any moment.

The trivia section claims the text of the film is used as a stage play. I can believe this.

The piece is static.

The acting is stagy.

The dialogue is totally unnatural.

It's an exercise in eavesdropping on a couple of self obsessed bores.

I suspect the modern equivalent audience for this 34 year old film now watches 'Big Brother' and those other 'reality' entertainments designed to allow shameless exhibitionists to show off in front of jaded voyeurs.

Frasier (1993– )

Two gay men live with their Jewish dad in Seattle.

[7/10 · 1 December 2006]

Of course the biggest joke is that Frasier and Niles are supposed to be straight.The shows were wonderfully repetitive in their story lines and themes, basically Frasier overhears something,misinterprets the situation and acts accordingly. Personally I can't tell whether an episode is from ,say, season 2 rather than season 10. A good joke bears telling more than once and Frasier made us bear it so many times. The cast is excellent.I don't think I've ever seen an American sitcom where the actors had nailed their characters so perfectly (OK - the Honeymooners, but there were giants in those days....) In a sense it's the Golden Girls (plot-3 mature gay men live with their Jewish mother in Florida) in Seattle and none the worse for that

The War at Home (2005–2007)

Dire

[2/10 · 1 December 2006]

This appears to have been aimed at the same audience as "Grounded for Life" to which it bears certain similarities. Two points it misses out on are -first-Donal Logue.Michael Rapaport doesn't have his comedy skills, acting skills, or ability to create a rapport (no pun intended) with the audience. Second-The scripts are dire.Stale ideas, staler jokes. It's possible to get the idea that some joker has assembled scripts from the worst punchlines he can find in order to try and get the show cancelled.The problem is that it's not bad enough to be good. The Mother and kids characters -and the actors playing them- give the impression that there's some quality present but Dad and script put it through the trapdoor.

Torchwood (2006–2011)

Adult sexuality, Infantile characters and plot

[1/10 · 14 November 2006]

After eps.1+2 I was ready to submit a comment or two ,but giving time to bed in the characters I thought I'd let it settle in. This is a spin off from Doctor Who. Jack was killed off , resuscitated and abandoned sometime in the future but inexplicably we now find him safely back in 2006 leading 'Torchwood' an organisation which investigates and deals with inexplicable phenomena (like the X-files). We can accept this.

However Torchwood is staffed entirely by self obsessed dimwits whose indulgent behaviour in episode 2 leads to the deaths of around a dozen men (and nobody cares).In episode 4 their doorman merely compromises the security of the unit,gets two people killed,shows himself entirely untrustworthy but in episode 5 he's back at his desk. This is the problem.The characters may have sex and booze sessions, but their actions and attitudes are those of 10 year old children.They're allowed to kill off the local populace at will-and nobody cares.

"I'm a fully trained police officer" new recruit Gwen snaps at her live in boyfriend.I'm glad she told us because it's not obvious by her actions or skills.The other personnel are similarly hampered. This is the problem.The programme is really a Comic Strip Famous Five satire- Five go mad in Caaadeeef- People who look like adults,shag like adults, and work for special ops, but have the maturity of 10 year olds and a script composed of a selection of tiresome soap opera clichés in a sci-fi setting. The trouble is that it's not funny.

Give it a miss.

Doctor Who (2005–2022)

Eccleston escapes descent into maudlin soap

[5/10 · 14 November 2006]

Doctor Who roared back to the BBC with top drawer actor Christopher Eccleston as the Doc and pouting Billie Piper as 'companion' Rose Tyler. Not much else had changed- The Daleks were in evidence, the 'magic wand' aka sonic screwdriver was waved, and the Doctor showed a vigorous interest in Captain Jack's sex life. Actually that IS a change. Is it a MESSAGE?

I think it was, and it's very tedious.The Doctor had got through so many...avatars?...and didn't mention sex once, now he's actually talking about someone's horizontal entertainments and not his own. (OK, he used to have a grand daughter, but that's not quite the same as what he said Captain Jack was up to- or is it? Is Jack the Doc's ex?)

After a couple of adventures with Rose, a late teen child of a one parent family, Doctor Eccleston was off and Doctor David Tennant abseiled in. Suddenly the series became obsessed with Rose's family life.She and Doctor David travelled to a PARALLEL UNIVERSE ( not that rotten old cliché,I hear you cry!) where her Mother and Father are a couple but there's no Rose.Then Rose's mother dies and.... Yes, I guessed what would happen in the final episode very early on. Notice I haven't talked about the Doctor's adventures. The reason being that series 2 was really about Rose's family affairs-predictable incident succeeded predictable incident until the predictable family reunion. Yawn Yawn.

Suddenly Australian soaps look exciting and original. If you like a bit of science fiction watch series 1 if you've seen Prisoner Cell Block H watch series 2 and wonder that there's something even worse.

The Bourne Supremacy (2004)

I'm feeling generous-3/10

[23 August 2004]

Having enjoyed the Bourne Identity I was looking forward to this latest installment. But.... having ditched Doug Liman as director and brought in Paul Greengrass, the producers have ditched a sense that the events may be real-in the sense that the plot elements of,say, 'From Russia with Love' are realistic,as opposed to 'Moonraker'-and introduced a 'docudrama' feel.

Unfortunately what is being dramatised isn't a spy-on-the-run story but what it's like to suffer migraine whilst undergoing a 90 minute epileptic fit.

Bourne has a few fights-there's a blur of bodies moving around and loud sound effects,then the camera steadies for half a second-and Bourne has won!!!! Why not fade to black and post a card saying,'with one bound Bourne was free?'It's just as informative -and entertaining . Again, there's a car chase.Between its start and conclusion there's just a blur of cars,lights,screeching tyres.There's no tension because we can't see what's happening and therefore we can't get involved so we just ENDURE until it's over.

If I'd been watching this on video I would have switched off after 10 minutes of pretentious hand-held close-up pseudo art house nonsense not because I object to these things per se but because their extensive use is inappropriate in a film of this nature.3/10

Gosford Park (2001)

'Upstairs Downstairs' goes art-house

[23 August 2004]

Basically an extended version of "Upstairs Downstairs" with art-house pretensions, Cliché clambers over cliché demanding our attention.Total soap opera fantasy. A cast of British and American actor-types does its best to convince us we're watching something intense and worthwhile-and fails.

Most notable for the stomach turning acceptance speech by the Oscar winning writer. Incredibly this drivel won the Oscar for Best Screenplay ahead of Amelie, and Memento.2/10

The Captain's Paradise (1953)

Another Alec Guinness triumph

[20 January 2004]

Amusing film with excellent cast and a rather 'modern' comedy situation of a bigamous sea captain who keeps a wife in each port-racy stuff for 1953.Those puzzled by the Moroccan Spanish-speaking wife should note that the nearest Moroccan port to Gibraltar is Ceuta-which is actually a Spanish territory.