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The Marvels (2023)
Not Great, but Better than People Say
Combining Captain Marvel (from the previous film), Ms Marvel (from the tv series) and Captain Rambeau (the newbie) was going to be a gamble from the start. Being the shortest MCU film to date, the action moves along at a brisk pace and the "power swapping" aspect was handled well. The story is both a follow on from Captain Marvel and Secret Invasion (kinda).
Iman Vellani is a joy as Kamala Khan/Ms Marvel, geeking out about being close to her hero, Carol Danvers. The film was obviously written to appeal to the tween audience that Ms Marvel appeals to but thats not necessarily a bad thing.
Samuel L. Jackson is great (isn't he always) but underused. Nick Fury's role in the Avengers seems to be a bit vague.
While not the best MCU film by a long shot, it is miles better than the train wreck that was Thor: Love and Thunder. Or, for that matter, Thor: The Dark World.
It's time for the MCU to start making strides to build momentum again, after the emotional double-whammy of Avengers: Infinity War and Avengers: Endgame. Those 2 films set the bar so high, others feel like they are not evel close when they should be setting up a bar of their own.
Firestarter (2022)
Pointless remake
This pointless remake lacks any of the excitement or thrills that the original had. It swerves so far away from the source material that it may have benefitted from a different name and Zach Efron has ZERO chemistry with either his characters wife or daughter. Less Firestarter, more fizzle.
The Avengers (2012)
Now THIS Is How To Make an Ensemble Film
Marvel studios took a leap of faith in handing this project to the brilliant Joss Whedon. After all, his only other film that got a cinema release (Serenity) failed to even recoup its budget at the box office. They must have seen something in him, though, because this film is, in every sense of the word, Epic!
It could so easily have just been Iron Man And His Sidekicks, but Whedon's fine grasp of characters gives everyone involved their fair share of screen time without the film dragging for a second. Tony Stark / Iron Man (Robert Downey Jr) is all cock-sure and swagger. Thor (Chris Hemsworth) is every inch the demi-god that has Earth "under his protection". Steve Rogers / Captain America (Chris Evans) is a man so far out of his own time he feels alien to the world he now lives in. Most enigmatic of the group is Natasha Romanoff / Black Widow (Scarlett Johansen), who is a master manipulator and reveals only as much as she wants you to know, and Cliff Barton / Hawkeye (Jeremy Renner) who is both mentor and partner to her. Their history is one that needs its own film!
The real joy of the piece, though, is Mark Ruffalo as Bruce Banner / The Hulk. Banner lives an isolated life, barely keeping "the other guy" in check, when Nick Fury sends Black Widow to recruit him. In a nice twist, it is Banner who is needed, not Hulk. Ruffalo is, by far and with all due respect to Eric Bana and Ed Norton, the best Banner AND Hulk to date and is given 2 of the films most memorable moments.
Tom Middleston chews up the scenery as Loki, every bit as evil as Thor is good, with a plan for each of The Avengers in turn.
Samuel L Jackson is given more to do as Nick Fury than ever before. He is the master control of The Avengers Initiative, so confident in each of his heroes he is willing to defy orders from his superiors.
Visually stunning with great character developments, awesome special effects and a breathtaking pace, you never feel the 2 hr 10 minute running time. Popcorn will be left behind as you laugh and cheer through this ride.
With the obligatory Stan Lee Cameo (although he is not the best cameo in the film) and Joss Whedon's trademark sucker-punch both in place, Avengers Assemble (as it is known in the UK) is by far the best superhero film to date.
And the sequel? Will someone please put Joss Whedon on retainer? Now!
House M.D.: Love Is Blind (2012)
Pulling Out All The Stops
Hugh Laurie stated a while back that the 8th season of HOUSE would probably be the last one, a sentiment later confirmed by the studio. It would seem, then, that the writers have really started to pull all the stops out and make this one of the best seasons in the show's run. If the story lines had been this good during the 6th and 7th seasons, maybe the show would not now be coming to an end.
The medical storyline focuses (bad choice of words) on a blind man whose sense of hearing suddenly becomes so sensitive that even the slightest sound causes him pain. While interesting, his story is only there to justify setting the show in a hospital and to give House's team some screen time. The scene where Park is tripping is an absolute joy, especially when she hallucinates Chase as a rabbit and Taub as a fairy.
There is, however, 2 better stories in this episode that seem to be the focus. 1) House's Russian immigrant wife returns because the INS are looking into their marriage as a probable fraud, which could result in her being deported and him going back to prison. Also, 2) House's widowed mother returns with some news. Using a bit of masterful manipulation to get her son's attention, she introduces him to her new boyfriend, William Bell (played by - oh the joy - Billy Connolly). To see House referred to by Bell as a "pill-popping sociopath" is one of the episodes hi-lights. There is more to Bell and House's relationship than Bell realises, too.
If the writers keep this level of suspense and entertainment up for the rest of season 8 then I will really miss the show when it ends. It also makes me wonder what they have lined up for House's final episode. He's been to jail, he's been shot, he's been abandoned by his team. He has gone through everything that TV's other great anti-hero (JR Ewing) went through and more. So what's the big finale going to be.
I am as eager to find out and I am dreading the end.
Killzone 2 (2009)
Visually stunning, shaky start
I picked this up on day of release, being quite enthusiastic after thoroughly enjoying the original on the PS2. However, since playing the original I have become a devoted Xbox360 fan and have been heavily playing titles like COD4, Halo, Bioshock etc.
When I first fired up Killzone 2 on my PS3 - only the 5th game I have ever played on it - I was initially stunned by the visuals. The opening cinematic really gets your expectations up. Stunningly rendered and awesome to behold, I became increasingly agitated with the game-play. The targeting was difficult and the FPS character movement made me feel seasick. Ever the optimist (or just insanely bloody-minded) I kept at it, hoping that my persistence would pay off.
It did! In spades. The first 2 levels are nothing special in terms of game-play (notable exception - the tank is more fun than the one in Halo 3, not to mention more powerful, more weapons a a LOT faster) but after that, the game really comes into its own.
The enemies are relentless and just keep coming. Some of the coolest weapons outside the Gears Of War franchise and epic battlefields.
Also returning are the simple "spray-and-pray" levels where you and some friends, either online or on split-screen, can simply mow down wave after wave of attacking Hellghast bots. The online multi-player may just be the best one on any game available on this platform, with enough variety to keep you coming back for more.
Killzone 2 may not be the greatest FPS of all time, but with the ferociousness of Call Of Duty 4 and the visuals that out-stun Bioshock, it's a strong contender for the title!
Casino Royale (2006)
The Bond We All Love, As He's Never Been Before
When it was announced that Daniel Craig was to take over the 007 mantle from Pierce Brosnan, the outcry was deafening. He's too young, he's not good-looking enough. He's too blonde (!?!) All these worries are groundless, as the latest "re-imagining" of the most successful franchise in cinema history is all set to skyrocket.
The pre-credits action sequence is the Special Agent Bond earning his 007 status with 2 killings - one gunshot and one incredibly brutal, violent one. The producers wanted to revitalise the films after the success of films like The Bourne Identity / Supremacy and they have succeeded in spade-loads. Ignoring the continuity error of having Bond promoted to 007 status by Judy Dench's M in a post 9/11 world, we see the fledgling agent on his first assignment. Pissing off his superiors, making mistakes, getting beaten to a pulp (including a torture sequence that will have every male in the audience squirming), this is as far from Roger Moore's Bond as Snow White is from The Texas Chain Saw Massacre. Bond is more human, more accessible and more dangerous than he has ever been. Gadgets are all but gone, as are Miss Moneypenny (apart from a brief name-check) and the suaveness of Pierce Brosnan / Sean Connery. The daft puns are gone too, but a sense of humour is still very much present (BOND: "Vodka martini, please." BARMAN: "Shaken or stirred?" BOND: "Do I look like I give a damn?"). For the first time, we believe that THIS Bond is capable of real cruelty and violence, should the need arise.
The opening credits have lost the silhouetted naked ladies, but are yet still quintessentially Bond credits. The famous theme music is kept to a minimum, but we never forget that we are watching a Bond film.
The direction is confident, but not cocky. the action is breathtaking, the suspense is tangible and the story credits the audience with some intelligence.
Make sure you stay to the end of the closing credits; there's no add-on scene, but it is worth it because you have just sat through the most amazing action adventure film, but the hairs on your arms will still stand on end when you see the now-famous legend JAMES BOND WILL RETURN!
This is still the 007 we love, but as we've never seen him before! Outstanding!
Serenity (2005)
Fan-Bloody-Tastic! (Contains minor spoilers)
OK, so we ALL know that Joss Whedon will always be the Apple to J.J Abrams Microsoft, but that is just one of the things that makes this film (and the TV series) so brilliant.
I must confess to never having seen Firefly prior to watching Serenity, but you don't have to. The interplay between the characters explains who each person is without an overabundance of exposition and lots of unnecessary explanation. 2 minor errors I made from not seeing the series was 1) I assumed that it was the crew of Serenity who helped Simon rescue his sister and 2) Inara was Mal's ex-wife/girlfriend. Neither of these assumptions was true, but neither made an iota of difference to the story.
Serenity successfully breaks free of the constrains of television and has become (in my opinion - which is what this is all about) the best and most enjoyable sci-fi movie since the original Star Wars. Malcolm Reynolds has been heralded as the new Han Solo, and comes across as a mix between that character and some of the darker elements of Clint Eastwoods' William Munny character from Unforgiven.
The ship Serenity is a character all on its (her?) own and we genuinely believe that these renegade characters regard this ship as their home.
The plot surrounds The Alliance's attempts to recapture Simon Tam and, more importantly, his sister River. If I had seen the series first, I might have wondered why an intergalactic government was making such a lot of fuss over one little teenager, regardless of how gifted she is. The Alliance dispatch an Operative (think of a black-ops CIA agent with a penchant for sharp edges), played with menacing calm by Chiwetel Ejiofer, to flush her out. As he says, "Secrets are not my concern. Keeping them is!" It appears that River is not only a valuable asset to The Alliance, she could also be a threat to them, the crew of Serenity and anyone else near her. You see, River knows a great secret. She just doesn't know that she knows it...
The film never lets itself get bogged down in the "see how good our special effects are" style of modern sci-fi film-makers (yes, Mr Lucas, I do mean you!) because although the FX are very good, it is a character-driven piece. Having said that, Joss Whedons technical proficiency in film-making is given space to really stretch here. The opening credits sequence is a 5 minute long tracking shot with no cuts and introduces all the central characters, and the dog-fight in space between The Alliance ships and the Reavers (I'm not going to spoil them for you) with Serenity stuck in the middle, heralds back to the Rebels / Empire clash at the climax of Return Of The Jedi
If, like me, you were yearning for a good sci-fi film, and you haven't seen Firefly, you can still enjoy Serenity. It may even inspire you to get the DVD box-set of Firefly (I did) and get to know the characters even better. 2 central characters die in the film and even though I hadn't seen the series, I still cared when they went. Now that I have seen Firefly too, I am even more saddened by their departure.
Will there be more? Well, part of me hopes so, because I enjoyed my time on Serenity so much, but a larger part hopes not, because after this, the mysteries that went unsolved are all the richer for that! All Hail Joss Whedon, The New George Lucas. Use the characters to tell the story, not the computers!
True Romance (1993)
The Best Film Tarantino Never Made
QT wrote this film and it was directed by Tony "Ridley's Little Brother" Scott and it is, quite simply, a masterpiece. A violent masterpiece, yes, but a masterpiece nonetheless. Christian Slater must look back on this film with a sense of longing because he has not been given as good a project since (Churchill: The Hollywood Years, anyone?).
Patricia Arquette is as cute as anything and perfectly fits her role. Call me crazy, but she really seems to be enjoying playing the "hooker-with-a-heart-of-gold". In fact, everyone seems to be loving the hell out of a superb script. The scene between Dennis Hopper and Christopher Walken is one of cinemas greatest ever scenes! The famously egotistical Val Kilmer goes almost unseen as Elvis - sorry, The Mentor - and Brad Pitts now-famous Cleaning Products line was a brilliant ad-lib. Gary Oldman as the white-rasta Drexl is the epitome of nastiness. Even Samuel L Jackson gets a high billing in the credits, but is in the film for less than 5 minutes! Genius. By the way, check out the DVD extended/deleted scene scenes for a longer discussion on cunnilingus. It's hilarious.
All in all, this is a collection of brilliantly written scenes, filled with memorable quotes and held together by a sweet, believable and totally mad storyline with a better-than-A-list-cast. Even the tragically underused Ed Lauter gets a look-in. Tom Sizemore and Chris Penn excel as the cops on the trail. The weakest point is Bronson Pinchot, but even he keeps pace well.
My only regret is that QT didn't direct it himself. Scott did an EXCELLENT job, but I would like to see QT's version.
QT to remake True Romance and Natural Born Killers: The pressure-campaign starts here!
10 1/2 out of 10!
Stander (2003)
Only The Normal Stuff Was Made Up!
Having been born in Scotland, my family & I moved to South Africa when I was 5. I was a teenager when Andre Stander was doing his stuff and I remember following his story in the papers and on TV. Curiously enough for the time (Apartheit), Standers' exploits were reported quite accurately.
This film of his exploits is what I have been waiting for; a good story that has little or nothing to do with the politics of South Africa at the time. The situation was what it was. This film doesn't try to explain or excuse them. Thomas Jane, Dexter Fletcher ET AL play the roles brilliantly, with stunning support from the such South African institutions as Marius Weyers in a beautifully understated performance as Standers dignified and loving father.
The accents are accurate and convincing (unlike Val Kilmers in The Saint, Richard Roxburgh in Mission Impossible 2 and the entire cast of Lethal Weapon 2).
The bizarre thing about this film is that all the audacious acts that Stander and his gang pulled off ACTUALLY HAPPENED. None of the crimes were planned; they were improvised and impulsive. The only person to get hurt was shot in the shoulder by accident and Stander used his military and police training to bind the unfortunate persons wound. There are only 2 inaccuracies in the film; 1) When Lee is killed by a police shootout at the safe-house. In reality, Lee hid in a closet and shot himself, and 2) the first time Stander is arrested in the bank. In real life, he was arrested at his home.
A thoroughly entertaining film. 9/10
Citizen X (1995)
Too Good For A TV Release
I remember following the case of Andre Chicatillo in the newspapers while I was living in South Africa. They had photos of him sitting in his cage while being prosecuted in court. Not, as it turned out, to protect the court members, but to protect him from the public. This was fascinating, albeit morbid, reading. I later heard that a film had been made by HBO about the case, but it was made for American TV. Bummed! Strangely, CITIZEN X got a limited cinematic release in South Africa. I charged down to the local Ster Kinekor complex and duly bought a ticket (I was alone; my girlfriend at the time was only interested in the likes of STEEL MAGNOLIAS and FRIED GREEN TOMATOES). Wow! What a brilliant film. Why wasn't it released to a wider audience? Had it not been made for TV, it could have got an Oscar nomination or 2. There is no way to spoil the ending; who the killer is is never kept from the audience. Jeffrey DeMunn portrays a truly terrifying psycho. He is calm, downtrodden, considered a failure by his wife and subjected to constant ridicule and humiliation by his superiors at work. By committing these horrendous acts, he gets to feel strong, powerful.
Fighting to catch him against all odds is a pathologist, played to excellent turn by Stephen Rea, in one of his strongest performances. He must battle the snail-pace of Russian bureaucracy, the primitive resources he has at his disposal and (above all) the refusal by his superiors to acknowledge that the USSR even has a serial killer. The general in charge (Joss Ackland) says that serial killers are "a decadent, Western phenomenon". Only Donald Sutherland is willing to help, but his help must be under the counter. The ever-brilliant Max Von Sydow plays a Russian psychiatrist who breaks protocol and decides to help the investigators in their quest. It is the first time in Russian history that a shrink is used to build a profile of a serial killer still on the loose, and he has everything to lose if his involvement is made public.
CITIZEN X is brilliantly acted, well written and the music and editing only add to the tension and theme of the film. Excellent support from a horribly underused Imelda Staunton and a real sense of impending doom make CITIZEN X a film worth seeing. This was too good to be made for TV
The Texas Chainsaw Massacre (2003)
NOT THE LOAD OF **** THAT YOU MIGHT THINK...
Having only just watched the 2003 remake, I was very pleasantly surprised. Granted, it lacks the claustrophobic feeling and the documentary-style filming of Tobe Hoopers original, but I genuinely think that if Hooper had made the film today, it would look like this one!
There is an attempt to re-create the documentary feeling at the beginning and the end of the remake, but this is secondary. Hoopers original had some genuinely terrifying moments, but over the duration of the running time, the original went more for hard shocks than continued suspense. The "re-imagining" (as this version prefers to be called) has fewer genuinely scary moments, but keeps the suspense up almost from the start.
One bonus that the original never had was a bit more info into Leatherface and his motives (or lack of...) PLUS we get to see - albeit briefly - his real face. Ok, so the cannibalism was left out, but then again, this isnt a carbon copy. It's a re-telling of a good scary story. And its a pretty damn good retelling.
One last thing; if the thought of Leatherface is too much for you, just remember that in this version, he is played by Andrew Bryniarski. Not sound familiar? Well, perhaps you remember him as the incompetent agent Butterfinger in Hudson Hawk! Suddenly, he doesnt seem so threatening, does he? Kinda like finding out Marilyn Mansons' real name is Brian Warner...