synaptec Reviews

Last Cab to Darwin (2015)

Boring drawn out politically correct attempted PR for Aussie tourism industry

[1/10 · 5 January 2016]

This movie is absolute complete and utter garbage.

Us Aussies, are such great magnanimous, liberal, egalitarian, multicultural heroes.

What can you say when you're so damn awesome. The main (caucasian) character has an aboriginal girlfriend/wife. Wow! How cool is that? But that's not enough here folks. No, no, no .. let's add a guess what? A young male aboriginal, hip talking, almost picked for AFL footy player, road trip pal. The casting here is just blowing me away. And just to make sure its "real Aussie", let's chuck in Caton and the obligatory Weaver. I thought they were both dead already. Oh no, that was the referenced Northern Territory euthanasia legislation, 20 somewhat years ago. Nothing like a current and topical story. Let's not forget another critical casting component for potential UK tourist appeal; a beer pulling babe from London who just happens to be a nurse. Perfect.

After reading the film's blurb I was ready for an "epic journey" where Caton "does things and meets people who force him to re-evaluate his life".

Having personally suffered for more than 2 hours without morphine, I just need to share that I'm going to re-evaluate my life. I'm off to contact Lifeline and BeyondBlue, concurrently, via conference call, just to be sure. If anything in this review raises similar concerns with you or a loved one, please do likewise on 13 11 14 or 1300 22 4636. And always see your doctor, if pain continues.

Oblivion (I) (2013)

Eye candy feast with plot and performances that leave you oblivious

[5/10 · 13 April 2013]

The artistic design, visuals, action sequences and sound of this film are impressive, especially on bigger screens.

|cinematography group|

Are we an effective team?

|producers|

You are an effective team.

That's pretty much where it finishes though. The plot is .. well .. um, sorry its escaped me, if I ever had it. Some kind of alien vs human thing. That's new. Alien entity with a god complex. Never seen that before. Some pretty girls and love interest for Tom. Innovation! Throw in a cliché or ten, including Morgan Freeman and you about have it.

Oblivion. What film was this again? Recommended for audio visual experience but little else.

Jack Irish: Black Tide (2012 TV Movie)

Better than Stilnox small screen clichéd "Aussie" yawn-fest.

[2/10 · 5 November 2012]

I watched the trailer and was feeling nostalgic for some good ol Aussie drama. Boy did I take a wrong turn.

I have no idea why Pearce would waste his time with this, perhaps its payback or a goodwill investment for his twilight years. He often seemed uncomfortable at the dreadful script lines he had to deliver.

And what is it with Billing being cast so often in Aussie productions? Does he get extra casting sway from his Aussie Content lobbying efforts? I'm bored with him. Give some new actors a run.

I haven't read Peter Temple's novel. I hope it's better than this embarrassment of "Aussie" clichés. Zero action, low drama, low budget tele-movie made to help the ABC meet its local content quota.

The actual cinematography, soundtrack and editing was OK but nothing could save it from the boring script. 2/10.

The Adjustment Bureau (2011)

Ridiculous hatted "agents" vs true love which triumphs, naturally, even against Terence Stamp

[2/10 · 12 February 2012]

No premise sci-fi substitute for regular bad guy whatever.

The Adjustment Bureau is a "love triumphs all" delusional fantasy starring Matt Damon and Emily Blunt. What a shocker. The sci-fi is complete nonsense with no plausible explanation. The love story is equally unbelievable and nonsensical. There is no depth, no authenticity, no humour, no CGI, no action, no warmth, nothing!!

Complete garbage that cost $50M and has made $128M.

Clearly I'm out of touch with mainstream reality so I defer to the mindless masses. Enjoy.

2/10.

Real Steel (2011)

OK Dad/pre-teen Son flick but I wanted child eating robots!

[6/10 · 7 January 2012]

I'm too old, childless and cynical to enjoy a film like this anymore.

If you are a Dad with a pre-teen son, then this is for you. If you feel like your father son relationship is a little dysfunctional, all the better. Take the journey with Jackman and Goyo. Re-bond.

Show me a guy who doesn't like robots. The robots and fighting scenes are excellent. The whole production values equation is excellent as you would expect for a $110M Dreamworks movie.

My main beef was the boring predictable, *yawn*, zzzZZZZZzz, did I say boring and predictable script? I'm so glad the baddies behind the baddest robot were Asians.

Anything with Spielberg involved will have those essential manufactured emotional moments, between human and non-human, like when Goyo and Atom's eyes meet for a moment. Oh Steven, please do something different with your life or maybe take LSD.

I would have given this movie a 9/10 if only Atom had eaten Goyo at that first Spielberg puke moment.

9/10 for Dads and young sons 7/10 for those who like to reminisce, fantasize or dream 4/10 for serious movie buffs

The Prometheus Project (2010)

I want 90 minutes of my life back as I'd rather pliers-pull my fingernails

[1/10 · 6 January 2012]

This film is absolute, complete and utter garbage.

I was feeling particularly suicidal today so suffered through it with 3 extended vodka shot breaks.

1st - tripods exist for a reason.

2nd - the sOuNd recording and mixing is all over the place. Dreadful.

3rd - the story .. um .. what story? Oh and is there a music soundtrack? Not that I could hear between the aUdIo levels all over the place. How can you have mood without music? Perhaps the last 3 minutes of the film should have been the start.

Avoid at all costs! A disgrace to the genre.