shatteredx Reviews

Hellraiser (1987)

Old-time horror fun with practical gore effects

[7/10 · 11 March 2024]

Finally got around to watching this one. I was not into horror as a kid but as I approach middle age, it has been fun to visit these types of films for the first time.

The basic plot of Hellraiser is straight out of a1930s horror or suspense anthology radio program. This is a morality play and quite similar to those on those old-time programs like "Suspense" or "The Mysterious Traveler" people listened to up through the 1950s. However, the hellish images, nasty depictions of torment, and gross, practical gore effects give a nice coat of fresh paint to this type of story.

The direction is OK but certainly has a B-movie quality at times, much like the rest of the production. Claire Higgins is great, though. Ashley Laurence is not a great actress here but is strikingly beautiful. You could make this movie today with almost the same script and make it much scarier or even nastier if you wanted. But I think it's nice to keep it a bit cartoony, keep it fun, not nasty.

The practical gore effects still hold up for the most part. Some of the skin looks excessively rubbery but still very wince-inducing in a few scenes (especially the famous "nail on the wall" scene). Does it look real? No, but you can appreciate the work and lack of dated CGI.

No jump scares here. The movie's horror relies more on the nasty gore and hellish depictions of torture and torment.

Anyway, this is a fun movie I think. Not a great one. Mediocre acting, a very genre script and OK direction. However, it delivers fun, oldschool thrills, not far from what your grandparents heard on the radio.

I'm not sure whether to give this a 7 or an 8. I think it may deserve an 8 just based on fun factor.

Christmas with the Kranks (2004)

Not funny at all, some redeemable Christmas spirit

[5/10 · 10 December 2023]

Watched Christmas with the Kranks for the first time tonight, and I'd say the IMDb rating of 5.4 is about right.

I'm going to be frank with you. You need to have really low standards to laugh at this movie.

Tim Allen and Jamie Lee Curtis do their absolute best here but the material is just really awful. The first gag involves Tim Allen getting wet in the rain because his wife is yelling at him to get the right cookies. That's it. That's the whole gag.

Another head-scratching gag involves Jamie Lee Curtis wandering out of a tanning salon and her priest seeing her in a bikini. That's it. That's the whole gag. Just miserable.

The rest of the movie is much of the same. Gags that are completely contrived, don't represent the real world in any shape or form and are completely unfunny.

Comedy was at a low from 1997 to 2004 until films like 40 Year Old Virgin and shows like The Office saved us from the nightmare. I guess there were one or two good ones from that era (Office Space) but a lot of that stuff is terrible.

Anyway, I digress. I feel like this movie actually does have some saving grace in the final act when the family comes together to show some Christmas spirit. Other reviewers have called it sappy, which it is, but it's the only thing that was interesting to me. Just a really awful comedy.

Heaven Can Wait (1978)

Fine remake of 'Here Comes Mr. Jordan'

[7/10 · 6 December 2022]

Overall, it's a nice remake, despite being more-or-less scene for scene the same. It starts off slower than the original but I think the second half and ending are bit better than HCMJ (the original has some stuff in the second half that feels dated).

Warren Beatty is good in the main role. He adds a nice touch to the character. I didn't like Julie Christie at first but liked her by the end. I thought James Mason actually WAS Claude Rains at first. They look and play the role REALLY similarly, both great.

AFAIK, the original invented this genre of film and since then, there have been probably dozens of movies and TV shows that have riffed on the same type of afterlife/supernatural romantic drama. Because of that, I would imagine some viewers might feel a bit underwhelmed as they have already seen movies with these same tropes and plot devices.

Still, I enjoyed it. If you've seen Here Comes Mr. Jordan, you don't really need to see this one. But, it's a nice update. 7/10.

Here Comes Mr. Jordan (1941)

Good but a bit underwhelming

[7/10 · 3 December 2022]

Watched this for the first time recently with no idea what it was about. The movie is fun and pleasant to watch, though the script is a bit old timey.

Another reviewer remarked that the film is "underwritten" and I'd say that's fair. Modern viewers will probably feel like the plot doesn't have quite enough tension or conflict compared to films today. Still, the writing is higher quality than most of the slop that makes up today's TV and movies.

The ending of the film is fine but may seem cliché depending on how many of these types of movies you've seen. It uses a common trope of the genre. I guess when you're writing this sort of picture, there's not a whole lot of different ways to resolve these sorts of narratives in a satisfying manner. I would imagine this was one of the first films to use this trope so it may deserve extra points.

Ultimately, I liked it, but I feel like the 9/10 and 10/10 reviews of this film are clouded by nostalgia. Looking at original media blurbs for this film back in 1941, it seems that people felt the script was fresh and interesting. People watching today will probably like it but also feel a tad underwhelmed.

Initial D (2005)

Pretty decent adaptation of Initial D

[8/10 · 30 July 2021]

Go in with low expectations and you should enjoy it. The movie does feel dated with lots of overly-stylized shots typical of mid-2000s action movies.

But overall it's a pretty fun flick and the actors all do a good job.

Love Exposure (2008)

Fun flick

[8/10 · 21 July 2020]

Love Exposure is a fun flick.

Infamous for its 4-hour runtime, I would definitely recommending pausing and taking a break when necessary. I pretty much viewed it as a 4-part mini-series.

The first hour of the film made me laugh harder than any film I've seen in years. The frenetic energy is unbelievable. It reminded me of Stephen Chow's work.

Unfortunately, the next three hours of the film do not quite live up to the first, but they are still pretty good overall. I think this film could've been a legitimate all-time great with another draft of the script and some editing here and there.

I still really like the film and recommend it.

Rating: First hour: 9.5, rest of the film: 7.0. Final score: 7.5.