m_jordan_jones Reviews

Space Ghost Coast to Coast (1993–2012)

This is the best show ever. (may contain minor spoilers)

[10/10 · 11 May 2006]

This is the best show ever. It should be on all TV stations around the world. But the reason why people hate this show is because they don't really pay attention to what the characters are saying and take a second to think what the line really means. Thats right I said it, it had to be said. Only smart people can get this show and dumb people don't get it. The show has some of the best animation ever some of the best humor ever and lots, lots more. The interviews are all so funny and so well put together that I'm surprised that they took it off the air. That had to have been the biggest mistake cartoon network ever made. Who in the right mind would take a show thats so funny, great, and well put together like "Space ghost coast to coast". That's right this is my all time favorite show ever in the entire universe. Wow this is such a great show. You have to really listen to what there saying to get the humor though. I like how this show put up Crutons in the first season and how they mock there guests. See thats what a real show needs is stupid lines that don't make any sense and characters who have nothing to do with a talk show. Anyway I recommend this show to everyone this is the best show ever made. So please if you see the "Space ghost coast to coast" DVD's for sail anywhere then buy them immediately!!!! Trust me you won't regret it even if it's for sail for a hundred dollars get it because they might not be out forever you know and money does grow on tree's and you wanna know what else. My stomach's full but I'm hungry. I feel kind of tingly. Anywho get this DVD as soon as possible citizens you won't regret it one bit.

Lost Reality (2004 Video)

Funny shows that should have made it on the air. (May contain some spoilers)

[10/10 · 12 March 2006]

This is one heck of a funny DVD. The funniest shows on here by far are "the whore", "The Amazing Racist", and "Money". The Amazing Racist and Money both make it to the second DVD. The Whore is about this paid prostitute who goes around humiliating guys after she has sex with them!! Very funny show that should have made it on the air. The Amazing Racist the funniest show on this DVD is about pretty much this dude Ari Shaffir walking around insulting people of different races. Why I say this show is so funny is because he's Jewish and doing this. Money is a show that pretty much shows that almost everyone will do pretty much anything for money. There's other funny shows on here that I liked but those are my personal favorite shows. I recommend this to anyone who isn't easily offended by disturbing content or sex.

Lost Reality 2 (2005 Video)

A must see for Everyone (may contain spoilers)

[10/10 · 8 March 2006]

This is an excellent show. It even has the returning favorites from the first lost reality!!! Like The Amazing Racist and money. This DVD overall is better than the original because of the new shows on here which most of them are very funny like foreign family affairs. Ari Shaffir is funny in this DVD. Though my favorite one from him is still the very first one he did where he goes in the hood. Man that dudes insane. But the insanity in the DVD is what makes it so funny. This DVD is a must have for everyone. It makes me wish that these shows actually made it to air but you can plainly see why they got rejected to be on the air.

The Birth of a Nation (1915)

Best silent film ever made!!!!

[10/10 · 19 January 2006]

This is a remarkable silent film. The film quality it's self was much better than I would have imagined. It's film quality's better than some of the films made in the forty's or fifty's. The acting was very well done for it's time. Very excellent picture for a silent film. This films so well done that it's my favorite black and white film ever made. I couldn't imagine them remaking this film in modern days though because it's way too racist for it to find any modern day glory. Though for it's time and looking at it in the way that the Creator looked at it it's an extremely well done silent film. Though this film is very offensive and even racist you can't always judge a film purely on there subject manor. I recommend this movie to any film junkies out there or anybody who likes silent films.

Tales from the Hood (1995)

The worst horror film I've ever seen.

[1/10 · 11 January 2006]

I don't know words for this film. The plot was absolutely horrible it doesn't make any sense at all. The acting is very bad and cheesy and the background music is extremely annoying. I can't believe that there's actually films out there like this. The creators obviously thought that they were making the next Dawn of the dead. I can't believe that I was stupid enough to watch this film. I can't even begin with the acting its so bad and the actors are acting all gangster and everything. This film glorifies gang bangers which the gang bangers are pretty much the heroes in the film. I recommend this film to no horror fan or any decent, hard working, law abiding citizen. This is total crap it deserves a -10 out of 10....1 was the lowest I could rate it.

The Janitor (2003)

Hilarious little gore fest (Some minor Spoilers)

[10/10 · 6 January 2006]

This is one of the most Hilarious B-films ever made. With that aside I'd like to say that a lot of the gore is extremely cheesy and fake. The Janitor is about a Janitor who runs around killing people he hates...And thats about it. You don't need much of a plot to make a fun B-flick. This film is so Hilarious the makers of this film had a great sense of humor and balls to put this kind of stuff in there flick. From crushing head to whacking off unconscious FBI agents the Janitor will find a fuzzy place in your heart. But of course don't show this film to just anybody. This is a very offensive movie that isn't just for anybody. I recommend this film to any B-move fan. This film isn't for the Scream lovers.

The Dukes of Hazzard (2005)

The worst film that ever reached theaters.

[1/10 · 5 August 2005]

This film is absolutely terrible. I'm sure it has a high budget and everything but it still doesn't cut it. The acting is really bad especially from Jessica Simpson. The stunts are well done but still is boring and predictable. It seemed like the creators thought that they were creating an action packed masterpiece or something. What were they thinking. This is really the worst film ever to reach theaters. Heck I've seen b movies that had better acting and special effects than this hunk of junk. The old dukes of hazard was OK. I never really watched it much at all. But this wannabe original film is really hard to watch. Jessica Simpson just is the worst actor and she acts like shes the hottest thing in the world or something. So unless your absolutely obsessed with the old dukes of hazard then I can recommend this film. But to everybody else avoid this movie like the plague.

Bikini Party Massacre (2002)

Please avoid this film. (CONTAINS SPOILERS)

[1/10 · 18 July 2005]

There is two reasons why I comment on films. 1. To tell viewers to avoid the film. Even if I helped one person avoid this I will be happy. 2. I recommend the film to particular people. Now let's start with the awful unwatchable film. I don't know what the creators were thinking when they made this hunk of junk. This is the worst horror film I have ever seen and I've seen Terror Toons. Yeah thats right I had more trouble watching this then watching Terror Toons.

Let's start with the opening credits. The opening credits is very cheaply done I could do better my self thats how bad and cheap the credits look. Enough with the credits next I would like to point out the film quality. It was obviously filmed with a camcorder and a cheap camcorder at that. The special effects (if you can call them that) are very badly done sure there's a bunch of blood flying but that doesn't take much. The acting is absolutely terrible and there is no story there what so ever. So please, please avoid this film at all costs. If you want to rent a cheap so bad that it's good film (because this film is so bad that it's bad) then I recommend Uncle Sam or Jack frost.

Finding Nemo (2003)

An unwatchable film from Pixar!!!

[1/10 · 3 July 2005]

I could not stand this film it is so stupid and the computer graphics look so cheesy and cheap. Pixar you can do better than this crap the film is completely unwatchable. The voices do not move with the fishes mouths right and the so called story to this film is hard to follow. I really think everybody should take another look and see how wretchedly bad this film is. Although I've seen worse films in my time but this is still pretty bad stuff here. It's popular (for what reason I have no clue) but none the less it is popular. I guess it's just me but the film sucked to my judgment. I recommend this film to Disney fans only. I was stupid to watch but who wouldn't watch it with all the hype.

Night of the Scarecrow (1995)

This needs to be released on DVD bad!!!!!!!!!!

[8/10 · 3 July 2005]

I loved this movie when I was a child. I loved this movie along with The Ice cream man which also needs to be released on DVD. Any Night of the scarecrow is a very fun and enjoyable film. I must say that the coolest thing about this film is the scarecrow and right being that is the gore and cool special effects. It's been so long since I've seen this movie it's been about five years since I've seen this film. Then of course I started buying my horror movies on DVD and unfortunately this little gem was never released. It's missing from my collection along with the Ice cream man. Amazon needs to get some copies of this movie on DVD real bad. Recommended to every horror fan out there.

Ice Cream Man (1995)

I wish this movie was on DVD!! (May contain some extremely minor spoilers)

[9/10 · 2 July 2005]

I remember watching this film when I was about eleven years old and from what I remember it was a pretty good flick. I wish this film was on DVD that way I can watch it again and see if it is as cool as I remember it. All I really remember from the flick is an Icecream man stalking and killing people. After he had killed his victims he would put there blood and eyeballs and crap in his ice cream. I found it to be a little disturbing when I was a little kid. Oh yeah and the story evolves around some stupid kids that was the part I didn't like. Well I can't recommend this film because it's been too long since I've seen the film and I might have grown a little more picky with my horror movies. So please, PLEASE RELEASE THIS MOVIE ON DVD SOON IT'S MISSING FROM MY COLLECTION.

The Evil Dead (1981)

The ultimate experience in grueling terror (May contain minor spoilers)

[10/10 · 1 July 2005]

This film scared the crap out of me when I was little and still to this day it scares me a little. The make-up effects by Tom Sullivan look absolutely breath taking. I nominate this film for some of the coolest looking make-up I've ever seen. Going on the acting is really good which helps to add to the films impact. The gore is great in this film especially at the end when this demons head gets crushed against the floor. Well anyway I recommend this film to every horror fan out there. Heck, Even people who aren't a fan of the Genre will be quite pleased with this film because of how close it is to the exorcist but yet it's not copying the film in anyway you know what I mean. You'll have the see the movie to believe it.

Cannibal! The Musical (1993)

Excellent film!!! (may contain some spoilers)

[10/10 · 1 July 2005]

This movie is absolutely brilliant. This film is so fun to watch. I can watch this film over and over again. I like how this film takes place in Utah and Colorado. I (living in Utah) can laugh at how crazy the Mormons are in this film. They always keep a positive attitude which is what makes this film funny. The Mormon priest in this film is the funniest character in the film. Especially after he slaughters he shoots that Mormon in the head. The acting is very good and the special effects look wonderfully cool. The film does tend to sing too much at times and that really gets old after a while. But still the film is watchable more than once and it is an Hilarious film. I recommend this film to every troma/southpark fan.

Monty Python and the Holy Grail (1975)

What the heck did I just see.

[1/10 · 30 June 2005]

I think this movie put me through shock at how cheesy, corny, stupid, unfunny and how completely pointless it was. What is up with these stupid comedies. I could barely watch the whole movie but still it was very hard for me to watch considering how I have a sick sense of humor. This film just was really not all that funny to me though seriously. Everybody says that this movie is hilarious and it's entertaining well to be honest it's nether. This movie to my opinion is on my top 10 of worst films. This film of course is number 4 on the list because it managed to make me laugh once and only once. People say this movie is good so I will recommend this film to little kids. But other than that I just can not see why this is so funny. I rate this film a 1 out of 10 purely because it doesn't deserve an 8 because I wasted my money on this film.

2 Fast 2 Furious (2003)

worse than then the first.

[1/10 · 30 June 2005]

The first movie was awful. This movie is dreadfully unwatchable and should be entitled one of the worst films ever made. This is the second worst film I've seen. The only movie worse than this is Jimmy neutron. Where do I start. The acting sucked really bad. The entire film sucked really bad. Wait a minute I don't think really bad is the right words for this film I mean extremely terrible. I thought you guys learned your lesson the first time. Come on. Well although some nice cars in the film the effects really sucked. If I can even call them effects. I recommend this film to all the people who can't watch an R rated movie. I rate this movie a 0.5 out of 10.0

Jimmy Neutron: Boy Genius (2001)

I was forced to watch this.

[1/10 · 25 June 2005]

I was forced to watch this crap with my school. God do I regret that. I did everything not to watch this unwatchable crap. But the teachers made me but now looking back I think of how stupid I was to even go to school that day. The only good nick toon there ever was, was The Ren and Stimpy show. Nick toons should go ahead and give up this crap sucks.

Let's face it Nickelodeon can not compete with Cartoon Network. 1. Because the kid cartoons on Cartoon network are more popular. 2. They have adult swim for teenagers and adults. and three Nick toons banned one of the best cartoons ever made. So avoid Jimmy neutron with all you got because it SUCKS. I rate this movie a -10 our of 10.

Rocket Power: Race Across New Zealand (2002 TV Movie)

Unwatchable crap

[1/10 · 18 June 2005]

This is very unwatchable stuff here. I used to like nick toons but now it's all about Rocket Power and Spunge bob. This is one of the worst cartoons I've ever seen. It's about a couple of skater kids that do tricks that's it and the cartoon is done in that unwatchable nicktoons way. Nickolodeon shouldn't of banned the Ren & Stimpy show. That was the only cartoon I liked on nickolodeon. Teen nick is even worse. So if you come across Rocket power avoid it because you will hate it. If you want to watch a good cartoon then watch the Ren & Stimpy show. It's much better then this slop. Rocket power is as bad as any nick toon out there these days. So if you haven't seen rocket power or any other modern nick toon then don't bother. My two year old brother could make something better than this crap.

Rugrats in Paris (2000)

one of the worst films ever made.

[1/10 · 18 June 2005]

I hated this film. I was forced to go watch it with some friends that hate me now because they heard me sware. Doesn't this crap ever get old Nickolodeon. Nickolodeon really needs to bring back Ren & Stimpy real bad. Nicktoons is dieing off now and thats a good thing because nicktoons disirves to die for banning Ren & Stimpy. That was down right cold man. So avoid this movie with all you got. I'm not saying this movie is bad because they banned Ren & Stimpy. NO that's only half of it. There cartoons are just plain old crap now. Even back then I actually didn't mind the rugrats. I would rather watch the grass grow for the next 4 years than have to watch this again.

The Rugrats Movie (1998)

I'm sick of the Rugrats.

[1/10 · 18 June 2005]

I hate the rugrats. They're one of the worst cartoons I've ever seen. People don't even bother watching nickolodeon period. Nickolodeon used to be OK but they banned all the cool cartoons. And teen nick is as bad as nickolodeon it's self. Rugrats should finally die off. My two year old brother hates the rugrats. All the rugrats is, is a bunch of little kids exploring with there parents and they imagine stuff that isn't real. Come on Nickolodeon this is sad man. Well yeah words can not describe how bad this film is. But don't go experimenting and see how bad this film really is I barely made it through the film. And I used to be a nick fan but ever since they banned Ren & Stimpy I've hated Nickolodeon ever since.

The SpongeBob SquarePants Movie (2004)

The worst cartoon ever made.

[1/10 · 18 June 2005]

Spongebob is the worst cartoon I've ever seen in my entire life. Nickolodeon has really gone over board making this crap. What happened to the good old days back when Ren & Stimpy were on the air. Nickolodeon really went over board canceling there only good cartoon Ren & Stimpy. Avoid spongebob at all costs. My little brother rented it and watched it and even he hated the movie. If that's not bad enough I had to sit and watch it with him. I would rather watch the grass grow for the next five years then having to watch this mess again. If I can stop one innocent person from watching this I'll feel real good about my self. SO IF YOU SEE THIS MOVIE ANYWHERE RUN AS FAST AS YOU CAN. Don't say I didn't warn you.

Team America: World Police (2004)

the worst movie I've ever seen (may contain spoilers)

[1/10 · 17 June 2005]

this movie is really awful. If you like south park don't watch this. This movie is to cheap and stupid to even compete with south park. The puppets are really cheap looking and you can see the strings for the puppets. If you see this at your local blockbuster or Hollywood don't rent it. That's even to much for this film. Just avoid the film. I couldn't even make it through five minutes of this crap. I would rather puke up my insides. Heck I would rather watch the grass grow for the next five years before I even think about trying to make it through this horrible film again. The only person I can think of liking this film is a partially retarded ten year old.

Day of the Dead (1985)

The best of the series (may contain spoilers)

[10/10 · 16 March 2005]

This film is better than Dawn of the dead. But yet it has the lowest rating of all of them. Day of the dead has them both beat with it's special effects and good actors. Those evil soldiers were great especially when they get ripped apart by the zombies. There is more swearing than ever in this film which makes it funny. One scene a soldier tales this drunk dude to stop drinking. He says, Lay of the f#cking booze once in a while and get one of those f*ucking hornes. The old drunk says, Well if we stay down here long enough I'll have to lay off the f*cking booze because there won't f*cking be any of it left. That's just of the great lines on this movie. This film has got some great scenery at the beginning of the film. Though it's a little slow it just adds to the impact of the end. I rate this movie a 10/10 this film was flawless. Recommended to every horror fan out there.

Dawn of the Dead (1978)

One of the best movies I've ever seen. (May contain spoilers)

[9/10 · 16 March 2005]

This is a cool movie. Filled with great special effects and good acting. Everything about this film is awesome. Every film that George A. Romero makes is great. Night of the living dead was good. Day of the dead was the best. Dawn of the dead takes a close second though. I can't wait till Romero makes his new movie Land of the dead. That looks awesome. Dawn of the dead is filled with plenty of mindless gore and violence. The coolest scene is where a zombie get's his head chopped in half and you can see his brain leaking out blood. One fault to this film is that it gets kind of boring at times. If you haven't watched Dawn of the dead yet then go buy it right now. I rate this film a 9/10. Those who say that this movie is stupid obviously don't know good horror films.

Dark Harvest (2004 Video)

The worst movie ever

[1/10 · 14 March 2005]

MAY CONTAIN SPOILERS. This movie was the worst movie ever. I couldn't even watch it all it was so bad. This film is actually worse than scarecrow slayer which is saying a whole lot. This was worse than terror toons which at least terror toons was funny at times. Not even the gore in the film was good. The shootings were fake and the acting was worse. Please do yourself a favor and skip this one. If you see it at the rental store then run the other way. There is nothing good about this film at all. If you want to see a good scarecrow movie then watch Night of the scarecrow or pumpkin head. If you want to see an OK new cheesy movie then watch Scarecrow. I rate this movie a 0.2 out of 10. That's how horrible this film really is. THE WORST MOVIE EVER.

Scarecrow Slayer (2003 Video)

DO NOT WATCH AT ALL COSTS...........May contain spoilers

[1/10 · 14 March 2005]

Please god if you see this movie at any store then just turn around. This movie was god awful. The acting by Tony Todd I think that's his name was OK. But god that is the only thing that I can think of that was actually OK about the film. Let's start on the bad. The acting was bad from everyone else there was no action at all. The Scarecrow unlike the original film was actually serious this time. The effects were horrid and overall the film was completely unwatchable. I ended up hitting the fast forward button a couple of times. Please to me this is unwatchable stuff here. If you saw the original and thought that it was OK then you will hate this one. The original film was bad but at least it had some cool deaths and the scarecrow talks. I rate this film a 1 out of 10. AVOID AT ALL COSTS.