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Reviews
Porridge (1974)
hillarious, yet with a most brilliant humanity
I'm not going to go on about why this is the greatest sitcom ever and what are the funniest lines ever; its up to whoever is reading this to go discover that for themselves and encourage you to do so.
I do want to comment on how this is a sitcom with exceptional timing of both visual gags and one liners, some so blatant that they are funny because you can't belive they stuck them in!
Possibly the best aspect of this programme though was the humanity.
Fletcher might sometimes seem heartless towards godber, but it is all about surviving a harsh environment intact. For evidence about this watch the episode "a night in" which revolves around godbers first night in prison. The episode takes place in their cell and never really features anyone but the two principle characters. But this is still one of the funniest episodes of any sitcom anytime, containing a few throw-away one liners, but mainly the episode is about the subtle humour of how to survive in stir and not forget the outside.
Ronnie Barker is possibly the greatest comic actor of all time, who provides perfect comic timing on every joke, but you will always believe that fletcher is real and you can see the emotion pouring out of every episode of porridge.
Richard Beckinsale as godber was the perfect foil for fletcher and again his timing was immaculate for the restraint on the delivery of his lines. He always held his own with ronnie and will always be fondly remebered by so many for this role after he died so young.
The two principles were also supported so well by other characters in the prison who came from all spectrums of life (well male life, sorry ladies)
One of the most interesting features was that they represented the two opposites of attitude from the prison guards. Mackay was load, coarse and brutal, but you could always see that underneath he was a man trying to do his job to the best of his ability. Mr Baraclough is more interesting as a "screw" who just wants to help the prisioners and be their friends whilst trying to not to hurt either side. Some people found him unbelievable; but i actually know a guy who had to leave his job as prison guard as he identified more with the inmates than the guards he was supposed to work with!
To be honest i don't care if anyone else has this as their favourite programme; it is mine and if i have persuaded just one person to go watch and love this as much as i do then i will be satisfied.
Deadly Prey (1987)
We are mike danton and jack cooper
This film is one of the true masterpieces of cinema.
The story revolves around a strangely easy to find training school for mercenaries near los angeles that uses kidnapped people as live targets! The practice is going well until they mistakenly kidnap the best special forces guy ever and he goes and kicks their heads in!
The acting is crap, the mulletts are the best that the eighties can produce and EVERYBODY in the film dies apart from our hero, EVERYBODY!!!
The hero mike danton is the best killer of extras in film history, so good in fact that the other extras never hear them die even right in front of them! Hell he even manages to kill them with twigs and polystyrene
He hides four foot up a tree and isn't spotted as they walk past, THEY ARE RIGHT THERE AND THEY DON'T SEE HIM, HE ONLY HAS A BIT OF IVY ROUND HIS NECK!!!
The plot twists are non-existent and so predictable that you're counting down to when they happen.
What i didn't expect was our hero to chop a guy's arm off and beat him to death with the wet end, before SCALPING the mullett toteing rambo wanabee!
Me and my mates have watched this film many a time and are so influenced that my mate spent our first year of university dressed as mike danton! He would get drunk, disappear to his room and return sporting cut-offs, a gun belt with a rusty saw in it and a blonde mullet wig! (he also strangely wore a hard hat as well!)
All our friends love this film and we would recommend it to anyone wanting to just laugh at something crap!
ps why does col hogans bit wear a mini-skirt to go hunt down danton?