craigdandridge-298-624534 Reviews

The Out-Laws (2023)

When Think It Can't Get Worse, It Does

[1/10 · 7 July 2023]

Don't be fooled by the surprisingly rich lineup of actors appearing in this veritable train wreck. I hope they at least got paid for their time.

While the production quality is first rate, and the producers seemingly spared no expense on stunts and visual effects, the script is truly awful and the acting spiritless .

There are no redeeming qualities to be found anywhere in this film. Both the story and the characters are flat and unbelievable. There's no spark between any of the actors paired up as couples; no reason to believe that they are actually together at all.

The jokes and gags come on hard and heavy. Seriously, the sheer volume of jokes seems unprecedented, but there's nothing new and they're not even remotely funny.

I don't think I laughed out loud even once!!!

Inheritance (I) (2020)

Once You Have All The Facts, The Story Makes No Sense

[1/10 · 3 January 2023]

WARNING: Before it finally ends and puts you out of your misery, this movie will leave you shaking your head while asking, "Why, why, why?"

The use of music, lighting, and sound effects portends something supernatural, like a vampire or some magical being who can see the future, buried deep underground.

Perhaps it's not unusual for a wealthy man to have a secret bunker on his expansive rural property? Just another rich prepper, right?

But who keeps an ordinary person locked up for decades without even telling his fixer lawyer?

Let's say you're a young, ruthless, wealthy married businessman, with a secret lover-the mother of your secret love child-and you've already killed at least one innocent man who you hit with your car while on the way to do who knows what to the man who drugged and raped your wife, on the night of the rape.

Would you then hesitate to kill the man who drugged and raped your wife after he just witnessed you kill another man?

Would you not insist that your wife abort that rapist's child?

Would you instead let your wife's rapist live so he could threaten to expose you for murder?

Would you instead raise the rapist's child as your own child, and secretly punish her over the course of her life by withholding your love?

Would you instead secretly lock up the rapist for thirty years, and only reveal him to his daughter-who thinks she's your daughter-without warning her who he really is beforehand?

That story would make no sense, right?

Exactly.

The Invasion (I) (2007)

So Many Bonafide Stars, Such Terrible Editing

[1/10 · 28 October 2022]

You may be tricked into watching this train wreck simply by the sheer number of bonafide stars in the cast, some even playing very minor roles!!!

Just imagine, a modern science fiction thriller-containing a deeper message for those curious enough to delve a little deeper-that also happens to feature Daniel Craig, Jeremy Northam, Nicole Kidman, and Jeffrey Wright!?!

The performances by Jeffrey Wright and Nicole Kidman, in particular, are notable standouts. It's just so very unfortunate that whoever oversaw the editing of this film butchered their job so horribly.

With so much acting talent and such an intriguing storyline, in more capable hands, this film could have been a classic on the level of War of The Worlds, but, alas, we'll never know.

SAS: Red Notice (2021)

Unwatchable Drivel

[1/10 · 27 August 2021]

If you don't understand/like the first five minutes of this literal train wreck, don't expect anything to improve with time: It's all downhill from there!

Seriously, I can't understand why anyone paid to make this waste of time and space, much less let anyone watch it.

The tagline for the trailer should be something like, "Warning: Nothing you see here will make any sense at all."

Zoo (2015–2017)

One Season Too Long

[1/10 · 20 June 2021]

I found season one interesting, but Zoo rapidly descends into utter ridiculousness. The sudden decline in quality was probably due to a shift in resources towards more special effects and away from thoughtful storytelling.

However, the overwhelming lack of verisimilitude during season two is so infuriating, one might sometimes wonder if the writers were daring the network execs to cancel the show.

Abduction (I) (2011)

Badly Written, Poorly Executed

[1/10 · 11 April 2021]

I imagine someone woke up after a night of heavy drinking and asked, "Why hasn't anyone tried combining Ferris Bueller's Day Off with The Bourne Identity?" Well, this film answers that.

If the devil's in the details, this film is agnostic. The story just doesn't add up. From the opening scenes, so many questions go unanswered.

One must ask why include these scenes at all!

Moreover, each of these scenes is filled with multiple incongruities that remove all traces of verisimilitude.

While this film strives to be a sentimental spy-action romcom combined with a teen angst drama, it fails miserably on all counts. The acting is flat, the direction wanting, and editing misguided (at best).

But ultimately, I seriously doubt that even improving both could have saved this puerile script. Not even veteran actors Alfred Molina and Sigourney Weaver could save it.

Outside the Wire (2021)

Ridiculous Nonsense

[1/10 · 28 March 2021]

Netflix spent too much of the budget for this one on special effects, failing to leave enough for scriptwriting, direction, or film editing.

The story is so confused, and the actors seem to have no clue where their characters are headed. The result is cool battle robot special effects and utter human nonsense.

The Irregulars (2021)

Utter Nonsense

[1/10 · 27 March 2021]

Missing an engaging Sherlock Holmes vehicle, I so wanted to like this series. I even pushed my way through, hoping against hope that the story might just somehow find its footing and end up making some kind of meaningful sense.

Unfortunately, the main story line is essentially flawed, as-particularly so among the central characters-the interactions driving the action forward are largely improbable, at best.

Beyond subpar writing and lackluster individual acting performances that often left me literally shaking my head, the relationships between the characters simply left me without handholds to keep up with the dialogue.

I often found my thoughts drifting off to other things. Several times-feeling that I had missed something essential to finally understanding what was happening-I rewatched the scene only to realize that actually I had not.

So, if you're looking for something to have on while you do something else, this show just may the ticket. On the other hand, if you're seeking engaging, thought-provoking entertainment, keep looking.

Can You Keep a Secret? (2019)

So Bad

[1/10 · 25 March 2021]

Five minutes into this story, you'll likely be shaking your head with multiple questions: Are they trying to be this bad? Where did they find such horrible script writers? Why didn't someone stop this train wreck before it left the station?

Lessons learned: Simply stringing together one improbable scene after another doesn't constitute comedy. When a film tries this hard to be funny, the results are simply tragic.

17 Again (2009)

Utter Nonsense from Minute One

[1/10 · 22 February 2021]

If you've graduated from high school, don't waste your time or money on this one: You've already got too much life experience to buy anything this 'story' is selling.

Seriously, the writing is so bad, I can't believe someone paid real money for this script. But here it is! Perhaps that someone lost a bet?

The story's complete predictability is eclipsed only by its lack of creativity. This 'film' is a cliche of a cliche, despite managing to end without portraying a single realistic scene.

Rush Hour 3 (2007)

Nearly Unwatchable

[1/10 · 2 May 2019]

The best thing about this "film" is the gag reel during the end credits.

Burn Notice: The Fall of Sam Axe (2011 TV Movie)

Almost Unwatchable

[1/10 · 5 November 2014]

Living in Tokyo, I'm sometimes late to the party when it comes to US TV shows. In this case, I had heard so much about this movie, I purchased it without much concern.

Within the first five minutes, I already had doubts. The sets and wardrobe were cheesy. The script was horrible, and the acting even worse. Oh no!

Hoping to find some redeeming value that would help me swallow the fact that I had paid real money to watch this "movie," I struggled mightily just to make it to the end of the story.

At the end, I was simply glad it was over. Truth be told, the blu-ray disc extras were more entertaining than the main feature.

The pseudo documentary on the making of the film offers more suspense and better acting than the film itself. Even the editing is more interesting.

I might watch the extras again, but probably not the feature.

In conclusion, if you love Bruce Campbell's character in Burn Notice, you may want to watch this once, simply to learn how Sam ended up where he did.

Otherwise, save yourself time, money, and regret: skip it.