BritGirlJay Reviews

London Has Fallen (2016)

Fun and nonsense

[8/10 · 6 March 2016]

This is crazy nonsensical fun. Is the dialogue award winning? No. Does it highlight deeper meanings about the world we live in? No. Does it have anything to add to the genre? Well, not really. Is it a fun time to pass 99 minutes? Yes - by Jove it is. Action, death,explosions, the occasional one liner, lots of running, a slightly crazed over the top 'baddie'and nice exterior shots of the UK capitol. What's not to like about this movie? It isn't trying to make political or social commentary - it's a nonsensical action movie, and it isn't trying to be anything else. I liked it. If you want escapism and silliness with your explosions then you might like it too.

Zombieworld (2015)

Uneven

[3/10 · 26 February 2015]

First of all this is mainly a comedy sketch type movie, many segments that make up 'reports' from 'the last TV show you can watch during the apocalypse', hosted by Marvin 'badly fitting wig' Gloatt. I don't mind episodic type movies although it's not my favorite genre but this was very uneven. Some of it was slapstick, some poignant, some what you'd expect and some of it satirical. Is a a horrible mess? Well, yes and no. Some of the segments are well conceived, the acting is a bit spotty and the dialogue in some of them is less than flowing but some of them were worth the watch (the postman was my favorite and the public information segments about surviving in a zombie world).

The Fright Night Files (2014 TV Movie)

Tales from the..

[6/10 · 20 October 2014]

Not a bad compilation but it did veer into cheesy B movie territory a lot. The first tale was WAY too long and should have had it's run time cut by half. Too much padding (and too much yelling) almost ruined the story. The second story benefited from the presence of Harry Lennix; of the 3 I'd say this was the most B movie-ish of them all. The last tale was my favorite - a late night talk show DJ is plagued by phone calls of an otherworldly nature. The pacing on this was just right, as was the length. In my mind there hasn't been a great 'shorts' series or movie for a long time, and it's a format I really like, but alas this did nothing to change my opinion.

Dark Mountain (2013)

Supersnooze Mountain

[2/10 · 16 October 2014]

Not scary - or smart - like another reviewer said. Boring, yes, insipid, yes and if you are waiting for something exciting to happen - see a different movie. I say this as someone who quite LIKE found footage stuff.

*spoilers* Do not read on unless you want to have some of it spoiled!!

In the movie the female lead says to another character 'this isn't going to be like Blair witch' Well it is - only less imaginative. It even has her crying into the camera at one point - I mean, seriously? The last frame of the movie has her crawling towards a camera which is on the ground - you can guess what happens next. I actually said it out loud. I wasn't wrong.

Warm Bodies (2013)

Rom-zom-com with more rom than zom-com

[9/10 · 18 May 2013]

I thought it was great, a very sweet touching and gently amusing movie - although, at it's (undead) heart this movie is a romance first and foremost. There's a bit of 'horror' (that would be the zombies and their bony frenemies) and a bit of comedy (if you count the deadpan - no pun - monologues from R and a few nice one liners from M) but there's a whole lot more romance. I think many viewers mistook the movie to be more horror/comic than it actually aspired to be.

I really enjoyed it - because I'm one of those people with a guilty pleasure that is romantic comedy - and found the lead actors very convincing. R's self musings were wonderfully written and I also liked that Julie wasn't the kind of girl that inevitably falls over, while wearing underclothes, during a chase scene or screamed every 5 minutes for no discernible reason. Overall is it clichéd? Sure - but who cares? It was a cool take on an old theme, with a couple of chuckles and nice undead makeups thrown in.

Drag Me to Hell (2009)

Drag me out of the Cinema

[4/10 · 9 May 2013]

I'm a huge fan of the Evil Dead movies so I was looking forward to seeing this, albeit some time after release. I sat through the first 50 minutes and then gave up. This movie was slow and boring. It starts off with a fairly clichéd opening scene/back story but I don't mind a bit of cliché with my popcorn, not all movies are original after all. As the halfway mark of the movie came and went I began to wonder why I was still watching it - even if this movie had the greatest ending of all time, I was going to be too comatose to see it. I don't mind flashbacks, and I don't mind cheesy plots, or faux scares but I DO mind a movie that seems to say 'wait just wait, this is going to be really good' and then never delivers.

QI (2003– )

If only school had been this great

[10/10 · 21 September 2012]

Never un-entertaining, sometimes whimsical,often hilarious (I seriously can't believe another reviewer said 'never hilarious')and occasionally side-splittingly, pant-wettingly funny, I can honestly say I don't think there has been one episode of QI in which I didn't laugh and I didn't learn some obscure (or not so obscure) fact about something in the world. Who would ever suspect that the great naturalist Charles Darwin once skipped cataloging a species, because he (and indeed everyone who came upon it) ATE the darn things almost into extinction. Who would imagine that rabbits weren't introduced into England until the 1300s and then remained penned up in enclosures for about 600 years before escaping into the wild (heck I didn't know they weren't native). This is a wonderful panel game (possibly an oxymoron?) and Stephen Fry, so beloved of the British public (and I think the Americans also, although perhaps lesser known here, but youtube is a great way to watch these if you can't get them on TV) makes a wonderful host; sometimes unable to contain the rambunctiousness of his comedic panel guests(which is just as entertaining as when he does manage to keep them in line). Watch it. Learn. Laugh.

Prometheus (I) (2012)

OK - not bad - not great

[8/10 · 12 June 2012]

I was, like many of you, looking forward to this movie. I'm a sci-fi movie fan, the bottom line of which means I've sat through a lot of dross over the years hoping against hope that THIS movie will match up (or at least come close) to the 'classics' like Bladerunner, Alien or one of the better Trek movies (see my standards aren't sky high). I didn't HATE this movie (the opening scene was wonderfully 'mystical') and the way the whole movie shot is also stunning. The plot though -hmmm. It *is* a prequel - I got that much by myself, and it *does* give us a little insight into the 'space jockeys' (I didn't feel it did them a horrid disservice) and the creatures they had decided to replace uswith. My issues came with the silly things (the ending), and the 2 dimensional characters about whom we are supposed to care. I cared very much about Ellen Ripley (even in the dire Alien 4), but not so much about Dr Shaw. The Android David was the only person I came close to wondering about (and why didn't they make a bigger deal about the sibling rivalry between him and Theron's character?). Guy Pearce was wasted as the overly made up old geezer. Some reviewers have said for them this movie was themed around 'sacrifice' - however for me I got 'bad ideas'. It was a bad idea for the Space Jockeys too replace us with a life-form that turned on them. They were smart enough to create mini-space jockeys (us) but not smart enough to test out the proto-aliens (they made thousands of DNA-modules containing their essence) before they realised their creations were rapacious killers only intent on reproducing. It was a bad idea for the scientists to NOT wonder why the ship they got was full of mostly NON science types. I twas a bad idea for the old guy to 'allow' his daughter to go on the trip - and put her in charge. He says during the movie that 'she came anyway' but he's the BOSS of a HUGE corporation - he could've prevented it (even though she thought he was dead) It was a bad idea to not learn more about the moon before landing on it. It was a bad idea to let people get on the ship before seeing if they were infected (if your crew mate is folded into an origami frog, its a bad idea OK?) Having said all that - I totally understood why Shaw wanted to talk to the SJs - even if just to say 'wtf guys? you seriously thought those creatures were BETTER than us?' I understood why David allowed the pregnancy - he was under orders from old-made-up guy to find the secret of eternal life and this seemed like a good opportunity. I didn't understand why he didn't mention her obvious removal of the alien life-form though. He just looks slightly annoyed about it. As for squid baby growing on no food - I thought that was obvious too - it grew to a 3 month size in 10 hours, it was designed to just GROW until it found a host. Overall the film asked more questions than it answered - that's OK I'm used to that but still, it was a bit of a let down. The script guys need a caning though - the dialogue was pretty dire at times. I have to say I was disappointed overall - but its not a horrible movie - its just not as great as it COULD have been. Even if you go into this with no expectations (and that's hard considering the trailers being everywhere, whetting our appetites) its still a bit of a let down (and this is from someone who really liked Starship troopers).

Ultraviolet (1998)

A grown up spin on an old tale

[10/10 · 11 March 2012]

I saw this when it first hit the TV back in 1998 - when it went on DVD I bought the boxed set, and I've seen it streamed on NFlix too. This is one show I could never get enough of. Forget sparkly teen vamps, moody teen vamps, Euro-trash teen vamps, in fact forget TEEN vamps entirely and come over to the adult side where things are darker and much less 'hollywood'. Imagine a TV cop show mated with a dark (both literally and figuratively) end-of-days drama and you have this show. It only runs for 6 episodes, although there is enough in the idea to run longer, but perhaps having said all they wanted to say the writers felt that 6 was sufficient. Other reviewers have said the show is 'morose' - well it's certainly not laugh-a-minute but its dealing with some dark issues, comedy isn't really appropriate here. The people involved all have their own issues too - none of them are 'mary-jane' type heroes, and all of them have their dark sides. A lot of the issues covered involve real life moral dilemmas so its not really a suitable show for kids unless they are older. It does start a little slowly, but stick with it, by the end of episode one you should be hooked. I always thought this show was more for 'readers' than the type of person who thinks reality TV is 'great'. If you like your entertainment somewhat cerebral (and somewhat dark) then this one is worth your time.

Prey (1998)

Great show, let down by TV being hostage to ratings

[9/10 · 11 March 2012]

This was a wonderful show from 1998. I remember hanging off the edge of my seat each week, wanting more. At the time I lived in the UK, so we got it after the US, and I was devastated to hear it had been cancelled due to low rating and poor marketing. I also heard that the lead actor (Debra Messing) left the show (or planned to leave) due to another commitment, and while I enjoyed her performance, I always thought they could've drafted in another actor to replace her and continue the show. For some reason SciFi shows have to be nurtured and allowed to grow, in spite of ratings, in order to succeed in the US (see Stargate, and its offshoots)and this one, like FireFly seemed to gain cult status after it was cancelled. Why this never made it to DVD is beyond me. If you want to see another awesome show also from 1998, then Ultraviolet (from UK channel 4) is worth a look - and you CAN get that one on DVD.

*spoiler* Discovering a new species of human, one that seems sociopathic towards us regular humans (and indeed sees us as 'prey')was the premise of the show.One of the new species, Tom, ends up helping Dr Sloan and together they try and find out as much as possible on the origins and plans of the 'new' people.

Grave Encounters (2011)

Jumpy little gem

[8/10 · 10 March 2012]

Let me start out by saying that to my mind a good horror movie is one that doesn't just gross you out but one that makes you hold your breath in anticipation of something you KNOW is coming up, perhaps just around the next corner, or near a window, or because the music just became a foreshadow of scares; but STILL makes you jump in spite of yourself. I liked this movie - I thought it was reasonably well done, had plenty of the aforementioned 'clutch the person next to you and then laugh in embarrassment' moments, and held my attention for the full running time. No, its not an 'original idea'. In fact I'd say its been done quite a few times in various forms and locations but I really liked the way the actors made the most of their (partially ad-libbed) script. The pacing was well done too, you don't want a movie to wind up too early or too late - although I would have preferred the ending to have been a little different but you can't have everything. Low on gore, high on jumpy, you could do worse than watch this one.