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Alien: Covenant (2017)
I barely even have the energy
I wanted to write out a 500 word essay on why this is one of the least creative pieces of sci-fi that I have ever seen, but I just don't have the energy. It's like reviewing watered down cafeteria oatmeal on Yelp.
It sucks. It sucks so bad that it kind of stops sucking. It's sucks to bad that as you watch it it becomes non-existent. The aggravating migraine that grips you for the first hour fades away into a bothersome stress headache as you attempt to swallow this lumpy, flavorless, unimaginative film.
However, I must commend the actors for the quality of their performances. I have never witness such high caliber stars try so hard to be as absolutely bland as they could. It is truly impressive.
To Ridley Scott: I beg you to retire. Let people remember you as the visionary behind the first two Alien films. With every film you put out you are becoming more transparent of an absolute hack.
To the Writers: Stop. You wrote a character into a dramatic sci-fi film whose name is "Tennessee", wears a cowboy hat, has a Texas accent, and drinks whiskey from a bottle. You wrote an erotic scene between two Michael Fassbender robots where one tells the other that "he'll do the fingering". You somehow wrote the dumbest scientists that I have seen in a film. You completely under minded any attempt to have a philosophical core by having an overwhelming boring story, that moves at an overwhelming boring pace, and features overwhelmingly boring characters. If you were attempting a fun action film, you under minded it for the exact same reasons.
I would rather eat concrete mixed in with a bowl of banana oatmeal than ever view this film again. It would probably be more flavorful.
This an embarrassment.
Ant-Man (2015)
Fun! - But missing something...
Marvel has a wonderful way of making really stupid comic book characters into actually watchable entertainment; they do this by having a wonderful element of self conscientiousness. They know what they are making is absolutely bonkers, so they have fun with it. Because of this their movies are almost always a really good time However in the past after watching a Marvel movie (Guardians of the Galaxy, or the Avengers for example) you walk out with something to remember it by. There is usually at least one element that sticks with you and makes it more than just a good time. In Guardians it was the relationship Star Lord had with his mother, in Iron Man it was Tony Stark's character arc from playboy to much more mature playboy. In Ant-Man this element is sadly missing. The characters are fun, the story is fun, the visual effects are insanely fun...but that's it. Because of this, when the credits rolled I found myself asking "is that it?". I really do recommend this movie as one of the funnest summer movies I have ever seen, making it worth your money...But don't expect to remember it for more than a week or two.
Godzilla (2014)
Want a good monster movie? Stick with Pacific Rim
First of all I should say that in general I am not a "monster movie' fan. I watched Pacific Rim and thought it was just "O.K". However when I heard who was directing Godzilla I got excited. I have great respect for Gareth Edwards and thought that if anyone could make a good American version of Godzilla; he could. And my excitement only grew after reading the awesome reviews for it. Unfortunately after seeing it in theaters with a few friends I have to say that honestly this is the biggest disappointment in theaters of 2014. Now don't misunderstand me, this movie does have its good parts, but they are out-weighed by the negative parts. I'll go through both the positive and negative parts, but in the end you'll just have to decide for yourself.
1. Story 7/10 OK so I want to be clear that the story is not where this movie goes wrong. Without spoiling, the movie has an enjoyable plot. As far as monster movies go this one isn't particularly stupid. It's not exactly "Inception" but its not as basic and straight forward as "Pacific Rim". But what made Pacific Rim good was that it didn't take its self seriously, so it was really enjoyable and could be stupid without pretending to be serious and smart. Even though Godzilla isn't completely stupid it takes itself way to seriously.
2. Visuals 7/10 There's nothing really that wrong with the visual effects in this movie
I mean they aren't exactly super original, everyone already knows what Godzilla looks like. All the CGI is pretty decent, the monsters attacking Godzilla aren't exactly exciting, but they are passable. The main thing this movie has going for it in the visuals department is the lighting, the lighting, although pretty unrealistic is very cool looking and stylish, so as far as visuals go
no big complaints.
3.Acting/Characters 5/10 This is were I start having problems with the movie
The acting and characters. Now Aaron Taylor-Johnson is a good actor, but the character he portrays is your average good looking muscled but rather bland main character. I really wish that the movie had put some effort to having original and enjoyable characters instead of the cliché lead that they chose. The rest of the characters are just as clichéd as the lead
the smart scientist
the doctor for a wife
the cute kid
none of them particularly good actors, EXCEPT for Bryan Cranston. I expected his character to be forced in just to sell tickets, but I found that he was the strongest both in acting and in character. In the short time that he is on screen you really feel sympathy for him. Another enjoyable character is that of his Bryan Cranston's character's wife, played by Juliette Binoche. Like Cranston, the short time she is on screen she shows a great performance. Unfortunately aside from the two strong performances, the rest of the characters are cliché and disappointing.
4. Directing/Pacing 3/10 Ahh yes, here we go. This is where this movie really falls apart. Its also the most disappointing part of this movie, as I said before, I really liked Gareth Edwards.
This movie does start off pretty well, Cranston and Binoche really draw you in. But as soon as the first 20 minutes are up the movie completely falls apart. I think that the main problem is it acts as if no one in the audience knows who Godzilla is or what he looks like. So they seem to be building up to make Godzilla's appearance startling and shocking. If I didn't know anything about Godzilla that would have been fine, but even though I have never seen any of the older original Japanese Godzilla's I still know the story of Godzilla and honestly was rather bored by the constant teasing of the monster for the first two acts. When Godzilla finally does fully appear at the last act I snuggled down into my seat ready for some awesome monster on monster battling. But instead of focusing on the monsters, it focused on the things that the lead character was doing around them. This was definitely the most aggravating thing about the movie
as soon as the monsters really started throwing punches the camera would cut away. At one point there seemed to finally be an awesome showdown
Godzilla and one of the monsters were running toward each other
Godzilla was about to monster punch it in the face when it CUT TO THE MAIN CHARACTER RUNNING ON THE SIDE WALK. As soon as that happened the whole theater let out a groan, a few jears, and several "C'mon man!"'s. The ending is just your average action movie ending
predictable and not really interesting at all.
5. Final Evaluation 5/10
This movie will definitely make some people happy I'm sure. But it doesn't bring anything new or exciting to the table, so I would suggest just stick with Pacific Rim and don't waste your money.
Centurion (2010)
A risky film, it will disappoint half of its audience, but impress the other 1/2...I for one am impressed
I'd like to start off by saying that before you view this Movie, you need to realize that it is based off of the mysterious disappearance of the 9th legion. Now that you know that, I want you to forget that. I want you to take the love of history that you have and bury it deep inside of you. Now sit back and enjoy the movie.
As you might be able to tell, this movie is anything but historically accurate, but it is just a movie, we can't take this movie and hate it just because of its inaccuracies. You will only be able to enjoy this movie if you look at it for what it is... An action b-movie. And quite a good one at that.
So first I'll talk about the acting. I love Michael Fassbender, and think that he fit his lead role just fine. His character isn't particularly vivid or interesting, but it does the job that it is meant to as the main character.
The general is honestly the best character in the film, and it is a disappointment that you don't see more than you do. His character is Lovable and enjoyable. So all in all not to bad acting.
The movie is very violent and not for the queasy, but the action is very well executed, and doesn't seem unnecessary, it seems to perfectly get the pint across that the Picts are a brutal merciless group of people. The movie is fast paced and enjoyable. The directing and look of the movie is great, and Neil Marshall absolutely kills it once again as the director.
So overall, good b-movie. Not great, but good.
Clash of the Titans (2010)
An o.k remake of an o.k classic
I am a 90's kid, and my parents grew up watching the original 1980's COTT, so when it was rereleased onto disc a few years ago, they bought it and showed it to me and my siblings. We thought it was the coolest thing ever, we absolutely LOVED it. When I saw the trailer for the 2010 remake of the film, I was very upset. I thought that the 1980's version was a timeless classic. I didn't need to be remade!! So I decided to dig up the original version and watch it again. At the time I hadn't watched it for 6 or 7 years, and when I had finished watching it I thought. "OK maybe it does need a remake." I won't go into extreme detail about the flaws in the story, and the over modernizing the movie with heavy metal soundtrack, and rapid editing shots. I will dive right into the things that really matter in a remake.
ACTING/RECASTING 6/10 Sam Worthington is a good actor, but as Perseus? Maybe not such a good choice. Liam Neeson is pretty much good cast in nearly any role, and the role of Zeus suit him fine.
SOUNDTRACK 5/10 The soundtrack for the movie did not fit with the movie. It didn't quite fit in with the ancient Greece theme. I guess that it worked OK because of the rapid editing and flashy colors.
EDITING/CGI 7/10 The animation is average for a film like this. The color in the film is very nice looking, however, to try to bring intensity into the film, they used shaky cam and rapid editing shots in all the action scenes, making them hard to follow.
OVERALL 6/10-or O.K
Braveheart (1995)
Brilliant, emotional, thrilling masterpiece by Mel Gibson.
A lot of people have been bashing this movie for its historical in inaccuracies. I am a big history buff, and the first time I watched this, the complete shoving off of several major historical facts bothered me a good deal. However, after about the first hour I realized that the point of the movie was not to show exact historical facts as they happened, but to show a beautiful, touching story of a man who lost everything, (his father, his brother, his wife) to an oppressive king, and decided to do something about it. He stood by his principles and morals to the point even of death at a young age in a horrible way, from the man who in the end took literally everything, accept one thing. William Wallace's freedom.
The movie is a must see , but be warned, there is violence, language, sexual content and adult themes. I would not suggest it to anyone younger than 15, as it can be a bit intense at times. Other than a bit of a slow start, this movie is close to perfect, as long as you can look past this films factual issues and see it for what it is.
Independence Day (1996)
A fun, classic 90's science fiction flick, nothing more.
I just watched this this past July 4th for the first time, and it was just about what I expected, a fun action/alien summer flick. It was fun and dumb, and great to watch with family and friends, as long as you don't expect something like Aliens or Predator.
Now to get into the details, the movie is casted perfectly, especially Jeff Goldblum and Will Smith as the stars. The script is well written with some of the best one liners of all times. The story is not particularly original, but not cliché to the point that it is not enjoyable. The acting is good and unlike most science fiction movies now a days (I'm looking at you Michael Bay) the characters are like-able. So all in all this movie is definitely a must see, you will not be disappointed, just don't expect a smart plot.
Man of Steel (2013)
Man of Steal
I went to watch this with high hopes. It had good actors, a good director, and a wonderful producer, the last thing I expected was a poorly scripted science fiction movie with Transformer like landscape shots.
Christopher Nolan, known for great characters in his Batman movies seemed OK with the lack of character and dialog; especially SuperMan, who should have the most character.
The acting was fine, but a movie needs more than that. Its constant fights and destruction needed some sort of comic relief, of which there was none, making it no more than a Michael Bay version of SuperMan.
Get Your Own iPhone (2009)
Hilarious, Julian Smith strikes again
Hilarious, Julian Smith strikes again. I absolutely love Julian Smith, both his newer more professional work, and his older more original work. This is one of those older originals. I don't know how he comes up with ideas like this but he is the best at what he does, and what he does is make me laugh. In my opinion even if you do not like this series, you need to go check out his channel. He does not make videos much any more but it is worth looking back at all his old videos, they are funny and appropriate for all ages. Even some of his more serious recent music videos
are entertaining and catchy.
The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey (2012)
Great! Why the hate?
I am a huge fan of Tolkien, particularly his Lord of the Rings series, and thought that the three movies made in the early 2000's were amazing. I went to the Hobbit expecting to be a little less amazed, I have never been MORE wrong.
Once again Peter Jackson nails the creativity and originality of Tolkiens great master piece. From the cast to the special effects to the well placed humor, I will definitely be seeing this again.
The tale of Bilbo Baggins a prequel to the great adventures of Frodo Baggins, and even better! The overall tone, however, is completely different from that of the early 2000's films, The Hobbit seems more meant for ALL audiences, unlike the dark foreboding of the other three before it. Peter Jackson could not of chosen a better actor for Bilbo than Martin Freeman, who seems born for the role, he balances out the hobbits character perfectly, showing that even someone so small and scared can be brave and big when put to the test. It is more than worth the money.
WALL·E (2008)
Why Pixar Why!!!! (Spoiler Alert)
I went to see Wall-e in high expectations, I thought that it would be better than most other Pixar films because of its good trailer...I was disappointed. It turned out to be the another film that sacrificed a good story to the sake of telling everyone that in a couple hundred years that
1. Our earth will be covered with trash, and we will have to leave it
2.We will wander around in space and grow more and more obese until we no longer know how to walk
I can't say the acting was bad because there was practical no lines through the whole movie, the humor was few and far between, as was the action. It seemed to try to play on your emotions, but does not succeed in even that.. Why Pixar why!!
The Hunger Games (2012)
Deep, Very good
This film is disturbing in a very deep touching way. It leaves you with a jolt of shock that you get after watching a good movie.
I would suggest this to 14 and older for violence, thematic elements, and frightening scenes. I wouldn't suggest having a family movie night with this, as it faces some disturbing topics and scenes. However, adults and mature teens will fully grasp the message the author is trying to relay to the audience. We enjoy violence, and laugh at it in movies and TV shows. And yet this movie tries to put violence in a darker more serious light, and does so very, very well.
Performance wise, the acting is superb as well as VFX, however they must of run out of tripods, they should get some so that the poor camera man doesn't have to hold the camera the whole time...:)