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1/10
Pure 100% garbage
5 July 2009
Warning: Spoilers
Wow. I have seen some really bad movies in my time, but this one truly takes the cake. It's the worst movie I've seen in the past decade - no exaggeration.

As a US Army veteran of the war in Afghanistan, I found it nearly impossible to even finish watching this ridiculous film, not because it brought back memories - far from it - but because there was absolutely no attempt at "authenticity" to be found anywhere in the film. Not so much as the tiniest little shred. It seemed like it had been written by an 8 year-old child who got all his notions of war (and soldierly behavior) straight out of comic books. The film was made in Honduras, which should have been a clue, but even that can't fully explain the atrocious production values of this cliché-ridden piece of trash.

I could try to list all the endless technical flaws, but it would take virtually forever. From the ancient unit shoulder patches which have not been seen or worn since WWII, and the character's name tags, like "ColCollins" (worn by the character "Colonel Collins"), which was actually spelled using the reversed, mirror-image "N" of the Russian alphabet (not the US alphabet) the list just goes on and on. The uniforms, the equipment, the plot, and most especially the behavior of the characters themselves -- every single scene was just chock-full of ridiculous flaws, inaccuracies and utterly mindless clichés.

Neither the storyline itself nor the characters were the least bit credible or believable. It was all laughably childish, in the extreme. This was obviously a movie that was meant to appeal strictly to pre-pubescent boys, and I have little doubt that even they would find this film utterly absurd.

In short, this film has absolutely NO redeeming qualities at all. It's a total waste of time. I'd strongly advise anybody reading this to pass this garbage by; it's truly not worth wasting a single moment of your time for.
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1/10
Worst movie ever...
5 February 2009
Musicals are, by their very nature, totally absurd. They are, as a genre, pure, unadulterated cinematic abominations.

Imagine for a moment a "Saving Private Ryan", where the soldiers storming Omaha beach all take turns singing their innermost thoughts to no-one in particular as they are valiantly slaughtered en-masse.

Imagine "The Godfather" or "Schindler's List" or "One Flew Over The Cuckoo's Nest" as operatic extravaganzas.

You get the idea; nothing can ruin ANY movie faster than turning it into a musical. "Seeney Todd" takes this fundamental truth to an entirely new level.

It's impossible for any rational mind to even begin to imagine what Tim Burton must have envisioned the end result would be as he developed this vile piece of putrescence. Whatever he hoped this film might accomplish, it fails completely and totally on every conceivable level.

This film does not have a single redeeming quality that I can see. Not the story itself, definitely not the singing or the songs, and certainly not the acting...it succeeds at nothing.

Some movies are merely a waste of time, but not this one; this one is a "criminal" waste of time. I not only regretted having wasted the time it took to watch this insufferable trash -- I actually wished afterwards (with all my heart) that I had never, ever seen this movie at all.

This movie easily deserves it's place at the very top of my personal list of "The Worst Movies Of All Time".

This film proves beyond a shadow of a doubt that Tim Burton really needs to retire from film-making - NOW. He's obviously totally tapped-out his pathetically limited supply of ideas and has apparently resigned himself to desperately scraping the very bottom of the barrel (right down to the wood) for a living now, as evidenced by this utterly worthless and disgusting bomb.

Do yourself a HUGE favor and just avoid this fecal nugget like the plague. I sincerely wish I had...
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Passchendaele (2008)
10/10
Wow. Great flick!
4 February 2009
Wow. Great flick!

Besides being an admitted movie addict, I'm also a retired professional soldier and a combat veteran who's served in multiple theaters of conflict.

I usually find myself quietly disappointed with war movies in general, and their vain, highly stylized, cliché-laden attempts to realistically portray infantry warfare, and high-intensity warfare's effects on soldiers. Film-makers invariably seem to fall far short in their attempts to capture the essence of what war can be (or was) like, and what exposure to it can do to the people involved, both mentally and physically.

To his great credit, I think that in Passchendaele Paul Gross seems to have actually managed to capture a reasonably authentic glimpse into both the nature of such hellish environments and the men caught up in them.

The acting was superb. The performances were so convincing that the notion that I was just sitting watching a movie didn't even occur to me until the credits began to roll by, I was so totally engrossed.

This film was easily one of the best that I've seen in quite some time.

I'll definitely be keeping my eyes open for any future films by Paul Gross. Passchendaele stands as an extremely impressive testimonial to his obvious talents.
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1/10
The most over-rated film of the year
7 March 2005
Mel Gibson surely managed to hit the financial jackpot with this film, merely by tapping straight into the recent groundswell of religious fundamentalism that seems to be the latest fad currently sweeping the US.

As far as the movie itself goes, it's nothing more than another rehash of the same old story that we already know all too well, but with a particularly heavy emphasis on the blood and gore aspect of the ancient Roman practice of crucifixion. Apparently, the bloodier you make the story, the more likely it is that the fundamentalist target audience will revel in it.

I found the film to be grindingly laborious and downright boring. Seeing it once was more than enough for me. Anybody that feels that they need to see this repeatedly has got to be either a sadist or a masochist, or both.

If I had it to do over again I'd save my money or see something else. There is absolutely nothing new, unique or cinamatically brilliant here.
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