CathodeRayTubesRock Reviews

From Dusk Till Dawn (1996)

Imperfect, but when on it's really good fun

[8/10 · 30 March 2024]

Short take: It's not a perfect film, with some the occasional joke/silliness that doesn't quite ring. But the high parts are really elevated and fun.

Spoilers: As mentioned, some of the scenes and scene sequences are breathtaking, high octane cinema as good as it gets. There are two highlights that stand out:

• Upon entering the Titty Twister bar.

• Selma Hayek's entrance and dance.

• The beginning of the vampire fight.

The vampires are fun, and then they get rather silly. I know movies are supposed to break up the tension, but the vampires just look silly in some of the later scenes. Oh well, at least they're not overly-CGI'd.

Star Wars: The Bad Batch (2021–2024)

Very good and gets better in second season

[8/10 · 23 August 2023]

An animated Star Wars series better than many of the movies. This series starts off a little slow and predictable but gets into a pleasant groove by episode 4 or so. The individual characters get sorted out and the story lines more interesting.

The animation is also excellent (but that's mostly the case these days).

If you enjoyed the Star Wars Clone Wars (2003-2005 version), you'll most likely enjoy this series.

The main plot follows a group of clones who were intentionally created differently than the other clones in order to highlight individual thinking and other traits. Overall it's mostly about their adventures but it also delves into the life of the clones and other issues in the larger Star Wars universe.

My teenage kids and I are very much enjoying this series.

Black Summer (2019–2021)

Terrific show. More like season 1 of TWD than Z-nation

[9/10 · 10 December 2022]

Enjoyable, tension filled action.

Lol at people who say the characters act too stupid - this is completely realistic. Have you not seen the huge number of people denying Covid, the anti-vaxxers, the Flat-earthers, etc... Couple that with the complete surprise of an actual zombie apocalypse. (Okay, the people who watch Zombie Apocalypse movies would probably know what to do. Other people not so much).

I enjoyed the fact that characters you get attached to might die quick, unheralded deaths. Life and combat is like that.

As far as some over arching grand plot, don't expect much. It's the early days of a Zombie Apocalypse and everyone is just trying to survive the next hour.

The Northman (2022)

Meandering tale of Revenge and Howling

[5/10 · 27 May 2022]

SPOILER ALERT

------------------------- There's probably a great movie here, somewhere. It's just not presented on the screen. We are introduced to our protagonist as a young Viking prince. His father is killed by his (sorta) evil brother. The young prince escapes (okay, this is an old story right). The young prince becomes a wolf-warrior for some people who don't really matter. Rather than living his whole life to pull off the revenge he sort of loses his way until a raven reminds him. At this point he not only remembers but decides to go right away without much preparation. Except his (sorta) evil Uncle has already been punished by the main Viking lord and banished to a distant land. That's not enough for the protagonist. He poses as a slave in a rather ridiculous role. This is where things get even more ridiculous. Posing as a "slave" in this small village our protagonist kills several people over a period of time leaving their bodies in some sort of mutilation-art. The ridiculous part is that this is a village of maybe 50~80 people. That someone can go about murdering people and posing the bodies without anyone noticing or suspecting the obviously-huge-newcomer is just silly.

There isn't really any satisfying parts of the movie. The fight scenes are okay. The dialogue is okay. It's mostly just dire. No one has any enjoyment.

Morbius (2022)

Just okay. Rather generic semi-superhero movie

[6/10 · 18 May 2022]

Pros: Morbius is a sometimes sympathetic character Cons: Reduced to generic super-fast, nothing can harm him, sorta-bad-sorta-good superhero. It's been done too many times and nothing interesting to set this one apart

Long Review: I grew up reading Marvel Comics including those with Morbius. He was an interesting character. Somewhat like werewolf-by-night, Morbius was a 'monster' but did not want to be.

This movie got a few things right, but too many things wrong. First, vampire bats are nothing like how they're portrayed in this movie. Seriously, did the writers think that people know nothing about vampire bats? (2) How many super-fast, indestructible characters do we need in the Marvel Universe? When a character is this powerful there's absolutely no tension in the action scenes. (3) Morbius transformation into this superbeing is instantaneous. And he already knows how to use his new abilities. (4) There's just nothing to set this movie apart from 95% of the current crop of superhero movies.

Doctor Sleep (2019)

Wow. Very very good.

[9/10 · 23 March 2021]

I didn't really like the Shining with Nicholson that much. But this movie is really good. It's far more intriguing and more tension filled. And, for me, more of a deep 'scary', where you really care about the characters and aren't sure who's going to make it and who's not.

Psycho Goreman (2020)

If you like B-grade SciFi-Horror this is hilarious!

[7/10 · 25 January 2021]

What would happen if some weird/crazy little kids controlled an ultra-powerful alien/demon? Crazy, horrible funny stuff ensues. This isn't for kids, even though there are kids in it.

Mongol: The Rise of Genghis Khan (2007)

I'd love to see a movie about Genghis Khan and the amazing Mongol Empire

[4/10 · 3 April 2020]

Genghis Khan is such an interesting character; an amazing man, strategist, politician. I'd love to see a movie about him. But this isn't that movie. This is a fairly generic action epic that is set in Mongolia. If that's what you're after, then you'll probably like this. This is basically the "300" movie for Genghis Khan. If you're looking to find out more about Genghis Khan, or the amazing Mongolian Empire which he created, you'll have to look somewhere else.

Blood Moon (II) (2014)

It's just okay

[6/10 · 11 March 2020]

It's not horrible, and not good enough to bother about unless you just really really need to watch a western with a werewolf. It's not worth going out of your way to watch.

Plot:

• What if you got all of the basic elements of a western and added a werewolf?

Stagecoach - Check Bank robbers - check Saloon - check Gunslinger - check. Werewolf - check (sort of).

Has there been anything new added in? Hmm. Not really. I'm cutting the movie some slack since it wasn't a big release. After watching it, my conclusion is mostly 'meh, umm, okay'. I don't know the motivation of the werewolf. Really, this seems like a Western with a werewolf being the threat instead of the 1950's style 'Indian Attack'.

Red Sun (1971)

Terrific Movie! Bronson - Mifune - Deion

[8/10 · 22 October 2019]

Just re-watched this in 2019. Charles Bronson and his manly humor are worth the watch alone. Add in Toshiro Mifune as, (his usual), perfect samurai. Then Alan Deion as a straight up killer. Ursula Andress being her usual beautiful sexy self. It all adds up to a one-of-a-kind classic.

Murder by Death (1976)

Boring and trite

[4/10 · 23 September 2019]

Remembered watching this movie as a kid so I watched it with my daughter the other day (2019). The worst sin of this movie is that it's boring, and unfunny. Really, given the cast and writer it's rather surprising that the movie is not at least a little funny. There's a lot of casual bigotry (Sellers as a Chinese, some gay jokes), but that would easily be forgiven if the movie was at least funny. One of those huge misses for all involved. Better left in the memory vault.

The Osterman Weekend (1983)

'Muddled' is putting it mildly

[4/10 · 24 June 2019]

If you're looking for a story, don't bother. If you want to see some half-ass slo-mo action effects, then this is the movie for you. It's as if some kids got together and decided it would be really cool to make a movie involving "what if" they were attacked by spies during a sleep-over.

Black Moon (1975)

Bizarre Art Film -

[4/10 · 26 March 2019]

Well, it's a bizarre "art" film. Probably better if you're really wasted. There's sort of a war. Maybe. There's sort of some magic, maybe. There's some breast feeding.

Overall, just save your time and read a book.

Superbeast (1972)

Bad, in the most boring manner possible.

[2/10 · 20 January 2019]

Really, a tourist advertisement for the Philippines would be more entertaining. This movie moves at a glacial pace towards...nothing. Even movies that are bad sometimes have an interesting idea or twist. This one is just, bland, and uninteresting. Not even a little romance to pick things up.

The Monster Squad (1987)

Wow. Reviews that liked this must be purely out of nostalgia.

[4/10 · 16 December 2018]

For every half-clever scene in this movie, there is an absolute crap scene. Some people wrote "great halloween film". Only if you're a 12 year old boy who's misogynistic. This movie can't figure out if it wants to be "Porky's" or some monster fantasy adventure film. Really, what's up with the kids watching one's sister undress through the window like some peeping toms? Then threatening her with exposure? I guess that didn't age well. And the worst thing is just the overall lameness. The monsters act like monsters when convenient. Then slowly slowly slowly walk towards our little heroes when convenient.

Jabberwocky (1977)

The sets/artwork are great, jokes are lame, overall - very meh

[4/10 · 10 December 2018]

Gilliam has done some excellent work, this isn't it. I wasn't expecting Python level humor, but was expecting to be sort of entertained. Here is the sum of the jokes (spoilers):

• Our 'hero' is in love with a fat, disgusting girl who doesn't like him.
• Medieval fights and jousts were bloody.
• Medieval life was dirty and short.

Repeat these jokes ad nauseum.

DeepStar Six (1989)

Meh, not very entertaining - Deep Incompetence below the surface

[6/10 · 6 September 2018]

Oh, what could have been. I mean, there is a germ of a story here, not an original story but at least a story. The Problems: - The first hour is mostly boring. Perhaps this is supposed to be "character development"? If so, it's not handled very well. No, still don't care about these people. - Most of the problems are caused by the sheer incompetence of the crew. I mean, WTF! Let's blow up a huge cavern. Of completely unknown size. Oookay. - Rescue plan? Naw, we don't need no rescue plan. - Whoops-a-daisy! I accidentally blew up a 20 megaton nuclear bomb. That's okay, I'm sure this happens all the time.

Okay, after these dunces screw up over and over, then we are finally treated to finally being properly introduced to the monster. At this point I'm almost rooting for the monster.

The Positives: - Decent production values. The sets are mostly believable.

Howard the Duck (1986)

An incredibly bad movie

[5/10 · 19 August 2018]

Painfully unfunny. It's like watching someone make bad screaming jokes while senselessly whacking/crashing/exploding stuff.

The movie is like a mix of the worst of "The Dukes of Hazard" with "Plan 9 from Outer Space". Except worse than that.

Really, the only saving grace is a scantily clad Lea Thomson.

CHIPS (2017)

It's worst fault - not very fun or funny, just lame.

[4/10 · 26 June 2018]

Something got lost on the way to making this movie. Any sense of cohesion, or fun, of comedy. It's really sad because there is a germ of a decent comedy in there somewhere. There are some great to good actors involved: Michael Pena, etc. But there's not much here. Even the motorcycle stunts are just tepid. They could have made an epic motorcycle chase on Angeles Crest Hwy, but they cut it short. Why? There is some tits, some ass, but not much. It's like this movie has no idea what it wants to be. Comedy cop buddy movie, but the buddy stuff is half-assed. Does it want to be sexy comedy, not really, misses way too many chances for that. Why not go all out for a fun comedy? Maybe they did, but just missed really really badly.

Solo: A Star Wars Story (2018)

They seem to have no idea what to do with backstories

[5/10 · 4 June 2018]

I really wanted to like this movie. But, it's not a "movie" it is simply filling in and tying together all of the hints and asides from the actual movies. Instead of trying to make an interesting story the writers/producers simply tried to stitch together all of the interesting things alluded to in previous movies: How Han and Chewie met, how Han and Lando met, how Han got the Millenium Falcon, all of the nonsense about the Kessel run.

Hollywood: Leave the things referenced in the other movies alone. Leave them to the imagination. Do not try to endlessly live off of the other movies. How about an actual story we care about, rather than filling in memorabilia?

Making this movie should not have been this difficult. The movie should have been a slam dunk! You have a beloved character, a really interesting fictional character, and the vast expanses of the Galaxy.

What do we get? Characters we don't care about and story lines that go nowhere. The writers use every cliche in the book but the movie hangs together about as well as sliced salami in a piranha tank.

Altered Carbon (2018–2020)

Good for the first 6 episodes. For fans of the book, be prepared for

[5/10 · 6 February 2018]

Okay, I have mixed feelings. The first six episodes are good. BUT be prepared

They changed Quellcrist Falconer's message. Hey, I'm completely fine with changing things BUT THE NEW CHANGES CANNOT BE UTTERLY STUPID!!! They changed Quellcrist Falconer's message to be some bullshit against resleeving, against living too long. WTF!!! Get out of here with that bullsh*t. Her original message, in the books is great, the new one doesn't make any sense. Her new message is the same as the message from the pseudo-Christians in the books. Yeah, those religious people who were one of the enemies of Kovacs. Why ruin the series with this stupidity?

Turbo Kid (2015)

Weirdly compelling, fun story

[7/10 · 8 August 2017]

This movie illustrates what happens when the director/producer can tell a simple story very well with layered characters. Films that are internally consistent and coherent can be wonderfully fun.

Okay, the last act is a little bit of a let down, but the rest of the story is so well told it's still good.

Don't watch if: you don't like gore. The gore gets more and more over the top so that by the end it is a straight up parody of itself. Then again, it's mostly played like the gore in Monty Python (with some better effects).

Do watch if: you like wonderful, quirky post-apocalyptic movies.

King Arthur: Legend of the Sword (2017)

Well, the CGI is pretty good. Just don't expect a coherent story

[5/10 · 5 August 2017]

Pros:

• In several scenes the CGI is really excellent! Cons

• The story. It's sort of an outline of a movie, before the rewrites make it into a coherent movie.

• Note that I don't care if the story is different from the traditional King Arthur story. That's fine. I don't knock it for that, I knock the story for just being there to serve for making scenes. The movie seems to be made on the basis of ideas like "Hey, what if we put the giant elephants from LOTRs into this movie?".

You'll probably like it: If you enjoy a series of 3 minute movies. You probably won't like it: If you expect characters to care about, or things to make sense.

Guy Ritchie - WTF happened to you? Did success make you too lazy? Or just entitle you to think you could slap anything up on the screen?

Overall: The movie is on the low end of mediocre. If you take into account all of the good actors (Bana, Hunnam, Hounsou, Law) and the wasted CGI, it's just sad.

The Thing (I) (2011)

Good, but not that good prequel

[6/10 · 29 July 2017]

The 2011 version is pretty good (solid 6.5/10) horror/sci-fi. Really the main problem that it suffers from is what a lot of horror/sci-fi films suffer from lack of tension and repetition.

Tension: Hey, I get it, it is difficult to pull off a really good film. In particular, creating tension is hard to do. It involves good acting and a delicate touch. In this movie the producers try to force tension with the cliché of a monster roaring for long enough to allow the hero to do something.

Repetition: If you're going to make a sequel rather than a remake, you cannot use the same tropes from the earlier film. For example, when a flame-thrower mysteriously malfunctions at a critical moment.

Using one character as the 'hero': Spread the love a little. Have characters be a little more complicated like real people. In this case, Kate is obviously the hero. She does pretty much everything good in the film. She makes all the right decisions. Heroes are more interesting if they are human. This was a great time for people to talk about things and make an informed decision. Let them talk and discuss some different points of view. Should we do this or should we do that.

I don't mean to be overly critical. The movie is okay. It's just that it doesn't bring anything new or particularly interesting.

Dunkirk (2017)

Greatest War Movie

[6/10 · 23 July 2017]

Greatest War Movie made in the last couple of months!

I applaud Nolan for making a film depicting war as a series of boring interludes where people we don't know or care about die bloodless, nameless, mostly mute deaths.

It is truly an anti-war movie! Who would want to go through life standing in line waiting to die.