kentbartholomew Reviews

Sand (2000)

Film train wreck at the beach

[1/10 · 1 November 2012]

Rarely do you watch a movie with so many recognizable names that is this bad and by bad I mean every facet of this movie is bad. Tinny, grating, soundtrack, confusing plot (I'm being generous to call it a plot)ad-hoc script and ridiculously unbelievable characters. How Emilio Estevez who strolls through for a couple of scenes, Harry Dean Stanton who is only on camera for one scene and Dennis Leary ever became involved in this debacle is truly mind-boggling.

In the case of Dennis Leary's character it's almost like they wedged his role in at the last minute for name recognition, as his role has nothing to do with the plot. His screen time is spent just delivering Dennis Leary stand-up type monologue. Pretty much all of his scenes sound ad-lib. Ditto with Jon Lovitz and Julie Delpy. Adding to the misery is an out of place acoustic number with Kari Wuhrer and Michael Vartan on guitar. We won't even get into the uncomfortably creepy relationship between Wuhrer and Norman Reedus who plays her surfer dude brother. How many siblings kiss each other on the mouth? It was like they were originally going to have the characters they play be former lovers then decided to go another direction without editing the film. The list of missteps goes on and on.

My only regret is that I have to give this film one star as IMDb won't let me give it zero. A real stinker.

Texans Never Cry (1951)

Gene shows no love for lottery ticket counterfeiters

[8/10 · 19 April 2009]

Texas Ranger Gene Autry and his men arrive just in time to prevent the foreclosure of rancher Dan Carter (Harry Tyler) and his family after Carter finds himself unable to repay his loan to swindler Tracy Wyatt (Tom Keene). Gene and sidekick Pecos (Pat Buttram) soon find themselves in the middle of murder and a lottery counterfeiting scheme run by Wyatt and his henchmen Blackie Knight (Don Harvey) and Rip (Holly Bane).

At a running time of 66 minutes Gene has time to become involved in a romantic triangle with Gail Davis and Mary Castle and Pat gets time to contribute his comedic antics in a surprisingly humorous skunk spraying incident. Ex Hopalong Cassidy Sidekick Russell "Lucky" Hayden also shows up in this one, cast off-type as Wyatt's out-of-town hired gun. While this is one of Gene's more action oriented westerns he does get in two nice, well placed tunes, including an opening sequence rework of Ride Ranger Ride from his earlier film of the same name.

This is one of the movies that was filmed in what I think was the sweet spot of Gene's career. Wedged between his Automobile-Age Musicals and his later budget-restrained Horse Operas, it highlights Gene at his best.

Derailroaded (2005)

Must avoid documentary

[1/10 · 6 March 2007]

Derailroaded has to be one of the worst, most unnecessary pieces of filmaking ever. The object of this film is Larry "Wildman" Fischer a quasi musician of dubious importance. We learn Wildman Fischer enjoyed some minor success as a fringe artist in the seventies. I use the term artist in the most liberal terms, as Larry's artistry consists of screaming nonsensical lyrics into the microphone. Absolutely awful sounding. It couldn't really be fairly described as music.

They follow the exploits of Fischer, a paranoid schizophrenic, from his early years through the near present. Most of the current footage is done with a camera and microphone in Larry's face with predictably obvious results. The audience doesn't need an hour and a half of this to see the poor fellow needs some help. The whole wretched thing has a carnival side-show feel to it. This film is so over the top that for a while I thought it was a docu-drama spoof in the vein of Blair Witch Project.

In the end you wonder if this was about mental illness or the fall of a Rock Musician. Sad to say I don't think many people have even heard or care about Fischer as a musician. Even fewer will care about the films treatment of schizophrenia. Either way it's a complete flop.

The Old Barn Dance (1938)

Gene fights dishonest tractor salesmen

[5/10 · 26 December 2004]

Pretty standard early Gene Autry. Horse Traders, Gene and sidekick Smiley, find themselves suckered into a tractor peddling scheme, designed to swindle the local landowners, by unsuspecting radio station saleslady Sally Dawson (Joan Valerie). When the town blames them Gene and Smiley must prove their innocence and bring the bad guys to justice.

Gene cranks out a fair amount of tunes and Smiley contributes more than a fair share of comic relief in an average oater. This one is really more of a Musical with appearances by Walt Shrum and his Colorado Hillbillies and the Stafford Sisters.

The Old Barn Dance is also notable because it gave rise to bit player "Dick Weston" AKA Roy Rogers who would soon become Republics number one Singing Cowboy.

Saginaw Trail (1953)

Gene battles corrupt fur traders

[5/10 · 18 June 2004]

Gene leaves the dusty range and heads to the Great White North to clean up the Saginaw Valley from crooked Frenchie fur trader Jules Brissac (Eugene Borden) and henchman Miller Webb (Myron Healey). Along the way he befriends orphaned adolescents Randy Lane (Ralph Reed) and Flora Tourney (Connie Marshall). Aided by Delaware Indian renegades, Healy and Borden attempt to stop settlers from moving into the valley.

Typical of a lot of the later Gene Autry Westerns this one finds Gene singing less and fighting more. Not to worry though, Gene does manage to get in several tunes along the way. "Comic antics" furnished via Smiley Burnette and (lucky us) Smiley also gets a chance to crank out a tune of his own. No real leading lady, as the obligatory romantic undercurrent is supplied by the two adolescent heroes played by Marshall and Reed.

This was Gene's second to last starring movie. His television series was in its third year of production and western movie counterparts Roy Rogers and William Boyd (as Hopalong Cassidy) had already ridden into the Slver Screen sunset and onto the small screen . Only a handful of the old B-Westerns that once dominated the Saturday Afternoon Matinees were left to be produced. It was perhaps an instructive glimpse into Gene's real life, when at the end of the movie, Gene advises the young hero (wannabe trapper Reed) "Don't try to stop progress, go with it, be a part of it".

Just so-so Gene Autry.

Down Laredo Way (1953)

Rex chases down diamond smugglers

[8/10 · 18 June 2004]

The wedding plans of high wire duo Chip Wells (Clayton Moore) and Valerie (Marjorie Lord) go awry when their tent is broken into by bad guy Cooper (Roy Barcroft). Wells soon discovers the reason for the break-in, his bride-to-be is smuggling diamonds. As luck would have it, Cooper and his boss, Judge Sully (Percy Helton) have been tipped off that Valerie is packing stolen glass and try to cut themselves in on a piece of the action. Wells then takes it upon himself to secretly hide the diamonds inside his young daughter Taffy's (Judy Nugent) doll.

But this is show biz and despite the attempted larceny, the show must go on. Wells, so upset by his fiancé's involvement in such an untoward scheme, is unable to maintain his composure and during their high wire act falls abruptly to his death, leaving daughter Taffy a ward of the court, which is presided over by Judge Sully. Taffy already leery of her would-be step mother packs her bags,complete with the diamond stuffed doll, and takes off. Soon our heroes, Rodeo Star Rex and his sidekick Slim (Slim Pickens) are on the trail to save Taffy and reclaim the doll with the stolen diamonds.

Great action pacing by veteran director William Witney and an interesting B-Western supporting cast make this one of Rex's most enjoyable films. Prolific Western bad guy Roy Barcroft adds kidnapping and accessory to doll mutilation to his already impressive villainous resume. Dona Drake as gypsy Nartita and Percy Helton as mentally unbalanced Judge Sully round out the cast. Majorie Lord, in her pre "Make Room for Daddy" days, adds to the action with a knock down drag-out fight with Drake.

One of Rex Allen's best.

Hills of Oklahoma (1950)

Rex battles corrupt cattle buyers

[6/10 · 3 June 2004]

In this, his second movie, the Arizona cowboy moves the action to Oklahoma. Rex and his cattle association buddies, rather than be shaken down by corrupt cattle buyer Charles Stevens (Robert Emmett Keane) and his equally villainous son Brock Stevens (Robert Karnes) decide to drive the herd to the rail head in Big Bow themselves to ship to a more fair and kindly buyer, Kate Carney (Elizabeth Risdon). Keane and Karnes aided by undercover henchman Hank Peters (Trevor Bardette) try every trick in the book to prevent Rex and the boys from delivering the cattle.

Lots of gun-play and fistfights. Action stopping musical hoedown, complete with square dancing kids, midway through the movie, gives Rex the chance to wedge in another tune. Two for the price of one "comedic relief" is provided in more than ample amounts by Dismal and Jiggs (Roscoe Ates and Fuzzy Knight). Elisabeth Fraser plays the attractive, if seldom seen, leading lady.

Its apparent after watching this movie they were still experimenting with the right ingredients for the Rex Allen series. They would change sidekicks a couple of more times before settling on Slim Pickens who took over in 1952 and continued in that role until the end of the Rex Allens in 1954.

Not one of his best, still, all in all, pretty decent Rex Allen fare. Worth a watch.

Laramie Mountains (1952)

Close to the end of the trail for the Durango Kid

[2/10 · 1 June 2004]

Charles Starrett is back as Steve Holden/The Durango Kid and he's ready to clean up the reservation from golddiggers Fred Sears and his henchmen Rory Mallison and Zon Murray.

As a fan of the B-Western I have to admit the later Durango Kids are among my least favorites. The early Durango Kid's were entertaining though often a little stilted."The Durango Kid" and "Return of the Durango Kid" are entertaining B-westerns. And for the singing cowboy fans check out Bob Wills in two good Durangos, Lawless Empire and Blazing the Western Trail.

Which brings us to this film. This was one the last of the Durango Kid series. While Charles Starrett conveyed an amiable, likable screen persona, to me he always seemed more like the Family Insurance Agent than an Western Movie Star. Also by this time Starrett was a little long in the tooth for the role of the Durango Kid. At almost 50 he seemed more suited for the role of the Durango Kid's father. Fred Sears, who directed most of the later Durangos plays the lead heavy. and Jock Mahoney gives us his best impression of an Indian Brave as Swift Eagle. Smiley Burnette is also along for the ride and contributes the comic relief with his zany antics.

By this time harsh economic reality was setting in on the movie studios. With a run time of 54 minutes, it feels like this one was produced, directed and edited with the heart of an accountant. The studio penny-pinching really shows through. Just not a lot to recommend here. This one is for die hard Durango Kid Fans only.

Rider from Tucson (1950)

Tim and Chito ride again

[8/10 · 1 June 2004]

After browsing some of the B-westerns on IMDb I've noticed there are few comments on these movies. The problem with trying to critique these movies is, they simply can't be evaluated by A-movie standards or even A-westerns standards. Such is "Rider from Tucson".

While at a rodeo in Arizona, Tim and Chito (Tim Holt & Richard Martin) are called back to a friend's (william Phipps) wedding. Right away you notice the difference between the A & B western. This movie presumably set in the old west shows the rodeo arena with overhead lights (like a baseball park). Not exactly the stuff of 1800's America. Budget limitations, tight shooting schedules and off of the cuff scripts are all part of these movies.

Given these limitations Tim Holt turned out some of the very best of these, especially his post-WW II westerns. Quite contrary to previous comments on this movie I've always found Tim and Chito to be one of the more enjoyable of the old Saddle Pals and despite the idiosyncrasies "Riders from Tucson" is one of their best. Good acting, good pacing and a better than average plot and script make this a must see for fans of the B. Typically first class direction from Lesley Selander and nice film sequences tie this one together with the general feel of a higher budget western despite the obvious budget restraints. Definitely worth a watch.

B-Western Grading Scale ********* 8/10

Susanna Pass (1949)

Roy rounds up more land swindlers

[7/10 · 1 June 2004]

Pretty good Roy Rogers. Bad guy newspaperman played by Robert Emmett Keane is out to take over his brother's (Lucien Littlefield) fish hatchery to cash in on the oilfield below the lake. Recently escaped convict Del Roberts (perennial bad guy Douglas Fowley) gloms on to the shakedown and wants a cut of the action. Roy and Doc Parker (Dale Evans) find themselves in the middle of the chicanery. Murder and mayhem ensues.

This has better than average songs performed by Roy and Foy Willing and the Riders of the Purple Sage as well as Roy Rogers' regular Estelita Rodriguez. "Brush Those Tears From Your Eyes", and tile tune "Susanna Pass" are particularly good.

It seems that Roy's movies could be divided into three categories. The early films directed by Joseph Kane which had a grittier feel, the middle musical Lallapalooza's, and the later action oriented films directed by William Witney. To me the best are the later films by Witney. Almost all of the Witney films feature lavish exteriors and better than average scripts. Susanna Pass is no exception. Filmed in "TruColor" it is a cut above the average B-Western. While Roy has always been considered a B-Movie star the truth is is, his later Westerns could really be considered A minus.

Good songs, good action, Roy at the top of his game. Definitely worth a watch.

Target (1952)

Not one of Tim's best

[5/10 · 27 May 2004]

I'm a big fan of the old B Western and Tim Holt is a particular favorite of mine. I've always thought Tim Holt was one of the most under-appreciated heroes of the old silver screen.

While never quite enjoying the popularity of Hoppy, Gene or Roy he made some of the best movies of his genre. Target was 2nd to the last of Tim Holt's Westerns and made at a time when the old B Western was riding off into the sunset. It's sad he couldn't have had a better send off.

The Post World War II Tim Holt westerns are some of the best ever made but Target was the worst of the lot. A great western hero, not a great movie, check out just about any other of his old B's and you'll agree Tim Holt rides as tall in the saddle as the best of them.