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tmnoble
I like pies.
If there was a pie movie, I could die happy.
Reviews
Penn & Teller: Bullshit! (2003)
Best show on TV
Penn and Teller Bull$#!t is one of, if not THE best show on the boob tube these days. They call people out for what they are, frauds and opportunists who prey on the weak willed, weak minded, and easy targets. I agree with everything that I've seen on this show, each and every episode, and all Penn and Teller do is expose more reasons to be a sarcastic, cynical, question-asking naysayer. This is about the only show that I will say is worth what you pay for the DVDs 100%! They are great to watch over and over, and to show to whatever friends come by, and expose them to the brilliance! Not to mention, that if you enjoy this show (and who wouldn't), you have to check out Penn's free radio show, it's full of the same irreverence and monkey love that I've come to expect from the big loud-mouth member of the magic team!
Emmanuelle: The Private Collection: Emmanuelle vs. Dracula (2003)
Why?
This was the worst five seconds of crap I had to endure. For some reason I saw the title, it cracked me up, and I knew what I was getting into, horrible script (if any) and tons of naked women, and somewhere a vampire? Well, I turned it on. After about two seconds of that top notch acting, it was off. How horrible. I even sat through Astro Zombies, so I can tell you that when I quit watching a movie... Then again, I should have known what I was getting into with this gem, but even I set SOME standards. I mean, add some kung-fu, maybe a midget. DO SOMETHING!!! I mean T&A may carry a movie sometimes, but this wasn't even good T&A. These were all tramps trying to be cool. Hey, Ben Kingsley is a great actor, but I wouldn't have him try to play Billie Holiday! You is what you is and that's all you is. The entire film should have been the caped baddie walking around strip joints and biting hookers. LIke I said, throw in a midget, kung-fu, or maybe a chainsaw and you may have had something. Thumbs up? Thumbs down? I give this movie the finger!
National Treasure (2004)
Indiana Jones it's not
This movie is to treasure hunters, as the new Mummy movies are to horror, non-existent. The plot is there, even though I don't believe the Knights Templar had anything to do with the Masons or America in the first place, but hey, if I can believe in King Kong, I will set history aside and try to enjoy this movie. That just couldn't be done. This movie was horribly predictable, from beginning to end. Well, I decided to let that go too, and just try to enjoy the movie. Still didn't work. You know, if you have to use slow motion to build up suspense in a "action" movie, well, there isn't much action in the first place. If this movie was supposed to hook those conspiracy theorists who think the Templars found the Masons, and they founded America, and they protect the bloodline of Christ... or whatever they think, you would be led to believe that there would have been a lot more thought put into this bore-fest. It was great to see Oleg in another film, I still think he would have beat Dan Severn. Too far away from the point. If you want adventure in this style, stick to Indiana Jones. From quality people come quality products, and this just isn't one. Nice wig Nick.
Man on Fire (2004)
Lighten Up
Great movie. I have never seen the previous movie, or read the book, but as a stand alone work, I enjoyed this movie. I don't question why Denzel died in the end. It only makes sense for his character (wearing the patron saint of lost causes says it all). This man sought forgiveness for what he did, he can't find it in a bottle, he can't find it in a bible, but he finds it in the innocence of a little girl. When that is taken from him, it's the final straw. The only thing he saw as good was destroyed, and he sought revenge, and cared little if he lived or died. Once he found out the girl was alive it was too late for him, he did what he was supposed to do, save the girl and in doing so, found his own redemption. This movie would have been horrible if he lived. Just had to be.
UK Music Hall of Fame (2004)
Great 2005 show
The UK Music Awards for 2005 was great. I say the highpoint of the show was Black Sabbath playing live (let's not forget Ozzy mooning everyone). What is the "illness" what prevents the Kinks from reuniting? Who the heck is New Order anyways? Kidding, just never liked them. Is it just me or do you think Mitch Mitchell was a bit, how do I say this, light in the loafers? It was great to see a "all star" band play a great song by Hendrix, but I was a bit disappointed with Steve Windwood. I can think of a few singers who would have done the song a bit more justice. Now, I only have one question about the UK Music Awards. Who was the co-presenter with Michael Johnson when inducting Aretha Franklin???
Hellboy (2004)
Awesome
Let me tell you this: HELLBOY was awesome! Maybe I'm a bit biased, seeing how I've been reading the comic for about 10 years now, but then again that in itself would make me more critical. Not saying that the movie went 100% by the book, but it was close enough and the production value was off the charts, I just sat there like a little kid in the candy store. So if you want to see the big red son of Satan, who's right hand is the litterally the key to destroying our world, smoke cigars, eat pancakes, cookies and milk, play with kittens, smash Nazis, insane Russian monks, and the giant primordial gods of chaos, it is a 10 in my book!
Once Upon a Time in America (1984)
Wasn't that great
Maybe it was the bizzare cross of De Niro, 30s era gangsters, and a butcherd Beatles tune that made this movie too off-center for me. Sergio Leone made great westerns, but I just don't think his style transferred too well to this medium. It lacked the gritty extreme realism of Lenone's westerns, but it also lacked the contemporary realism of a ganster movie. He made the American west mythic, but the American gangster dull. I love the director and cast but it just didn't work for me! I will try watching it again ... but I doubt it will help. Watch Once Upon A Time In The West if you ask me.