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The Grudge (2019)
Icky Does NOT Equate to Scary
Lin Shaye and Jackie Weaver were the only reasons I came to see this movie. Their particular vignette was by far the most interesting and should've really centered around them. Andrea Riseborough had a fine performance but I really could not care less about her vignette or the others. Shaye, Weaver and Riseborough delivered with insanity, screams and frustrated heroine-ism, respectively.
Everything else was a waste of time!
The cinematography really had potential for a spooky atmosphere. But the overuse of grimy corpses, bugs and ugly colors made this film more "Yuck" than terrifying. I think this film proves a lot of potential for writer and director Nicolas Pesce. A little more horror and less horrible instances in the film would've turned things around. Also, the connection to the 2004 version feels very haphazard. Kind of reminds me why these films stopped happening for a while there.
If Lin Shaye and Jackie Weaver were to star in another Nicolas Pesce film that didn't happen to be a remake of not so great franchise anyhow, I'd probably go see it!
Family Guy: Bri-Da (2019)
Feels like a hollow shell of what Family Guy used to be...
The first episode of season 18 felt very much like a cop out. The ending hacks away the story so lazily and it feels like a waste of time.
I was willing to give this season another chance but this second episode has been another disappointment.
The body cam story, the joining of Brian and Ida feel so forced and shoehorned via Seth McFarlane. Brian appears especially unrecognizable up until the showdown between himself and Quagmire. Also, Quagmire spends way too much of the episode coming down on Brian and at this point, his classic persona that has made him so entertaining in the past is lost. The dialogue is heavily weighed on McFarlane in the majority of scenes and even that feels obvious and obnoxious.
Another episode of potential, perhaps Ida was the partner Brian had always been looking for. Yet the episode chops that idea to crap as Ida kowtows her son's whining (Again, Quagmire has become so unlikable!). It's another waste of time, no character development and no good humor to make your time spent worth it.
I think I'll be sticking to American Dad for a while. I'm actually rooting for American Dad to outlive Family Guy. I really want to grab Seth McFarlane by the face and tell him "YOU DID THIS! YOU MADE THIS TERRIBLE! I'M GOING TO PRESS MY SWEATY RAGE FILLED HANDS INTO YOUR SELF SATISFIED FACE UNTIL I'M NOT ANGRY ANYMORE"
Family Guy: Yacht Rocky (2019)
A literal waste of time
The opening, the question as to whether or not Peter would be fired, the event that triggered the whole episode is never answered. The idea of the Griffins getting into a Poseidon type adventure peaked interest but even that is reduced to run of the mill FG jokes. They don't even bother to give an ending and justify that with another meta joke. The story is so weakly constructed and the jokes are so typical that the episode comes down to meaningless. A literal waste of time. Also, Stewie was borderline polite. What happened to this show??
Disjointed (2017)
The Format Is What Ruined It
The writing is pretty witty...And creative too! But Netflix putting Disjointed in a sitcom format was a mistake. It feels too stiff and starchy as a TV show. The first episode talks about marijuana becoming industrial and how Ruth is apprehensive towards that...Well this show feels safe, the industrial route. A gritty, FX style show should've been the way to go. Again, neat idea but the idea cannot account for everything.
American Horror Story: Apocalypse Then (2018)
Sloppy and an Unfortunate Waste
And you all thought you hated the ending to Roanoke (Which I actually prefer to this)
All those cameos were for nothing. Everything this show worked for, threw it away in the last 60 minutes of the season.
Too much going on , not enough time to explain. I was hoping for something more on the APOCALYPSE level...This was...domestic. What it makes it even worse was that this season was so promising. The other seasons were just bad through and through...But this...This had hope. They ruined it!
American Horror Story: Sojourn (2018)
Okay episode for the series, terrible for Apocalypse
Everything from the title to the guest stars is a huge disappointment. Especially for Apocalypse and to premier on HALLOWEEN!! What a waste! It's also felt terribly short compared to the others. Sandra Bernhard is right up there with Lena Headey in terms of terrible guest stars. Less of a satanic priest and more of a cheesy goth comedian. And she managed to drag politics into it... We had enough of that in Cult thanks. It makes sense for the story to go where it is going at this point and even feels organic. It feels like a proper bridge in the story but a bridge you'd rather hurry cross to get to the next episode.
American Horror Story: Could It Be... Satan? (2018)
More Questions Than Answers
First off, holy cross overs Batman! This episode has the strongest connections of the series to date... But I've got some questions...
Was Miriam a real person at one point or not? I know she's a robot now but make up your mind writers!
Why and how was Myrtle resurrected? The whole reason she died twice was too ensure a clean slate for the coven... Don't get me wrong, I am THRILLED she's back but she's just alive again and there's no reason why.
Are the writers trying to make us root against the Witches? They're pulling some "AHA!" political role reversal and I'm just not buying it. The way the Witches treated the Warlocks was super rude. I'm still rooting for them but the council meeting was so out of left field as far as characters go.
WHERE IS MISTY? BRING HER BACK. NOW.
Also, Outpost Three people (Who aren't Witches) seem like n unnecessary detour at this point.
American Horror Story: The End (2018)
Still intrigued by the promises but disappointed by the set up.
So far reviews have praised that AHS is back to its original form... Thank goodness too, after that "interesting" season last year.
However, already there is something lacking that the first four seasons had that this season doesn't.
Positives: The opening, so abrupt! It really added an element of reality to it. The end of the world happened just like that. The opening credits going back to its roots was a plus but it didn't have the same impact.
Sarah Paulson is at her best when she uses subtlety. That fact that Venable is painted so evil yet she is so reserved is what makes her so appealing. Can't wait to see what they do with her character. Same with Kathy Bates! Joan Collins! Her quips stole the episode. I didn't care for Billy Eichner last season but he did so much with so little. Michael Langdon's entrance was awesome but also a tad bit off.
Negatives: Everything else is spoon fed, including the cast. Nothing we need to figure out or postulate about. Funny, considering the promos had fans doing that all summer long. I loved Adina Porter as Lee but all of her lines are so angelically rigid, almost artificial. Evan Peters is always a gem but I have no idea where is character is at. Leslie Grossman had me in the opening but quickly tested my patience. Same with the two teens. So did Jeffrey Bowyer Chapman! I thought he would be the episode stealer but he was actually the most annoying!
Still hopeful considering what is promised to come. If this season doesn't try too hard to force story lines and just focuses on making a good overall story, it could be a really kick ass season. Just be its own thing. Also...
JUST GIVE ME THE DAMN COVEN, THANKS BYE.
Mother! (2017)
Embarrassing Storytime
Embarrassing story time: Just saw Mother! this evening. In the final minutes of the film, I found myself so nauseous that I had to get up and leave to go to the bathroom. When I got to the bathroom, I couldn't even unbutton my pants, the room was literally spinning. I peed all over the bathroom floor. The nausea in the film carried over to me. I had a breakdown in the bathroom asking people for help (No one helped me, I looked like a nut job). I could not even drive and was sobbing in the park lot for a queasy ten minutes. A film has NEVER done that to me. I have NEVER been shaken up like that. From an outside perspective, I keep asking myself was I so upset. I'm into horror movies and the goth and the macabre. The investment and the camera work I think was what pulled me in too deep and thus triggered my very first panic attack. I've never even really believed in panic attacks because I have never had one. Until now. Sort of SPOILERS: I am not a sensitive person to religion or gore per say but I am still jarred by the way I responded to this movie.
Jennifer Lawrence the actress has impressed me, though I'm still not fond of the social media JLaw. Javier Bardem's HIM makes a little really go a long way. My OG crush Michelle Pfeiffer and the wonderfully talented Ed Harris were so child-like, cold, seductive yet infuriating like the rest of the cast.
Damn you, Arronofsky.
What Happened to Monday (2017)
Noomi Rapace can sell the disinteresting
Normally this dystopian thriller would totally be out of the radar. But thanks to Rapace this film actually has a fighting chance. Each character is together but not the same. They carry the same face, the same voice but do not function the same. Rapace is the flair that made this film watchable.