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Reviews
Kavafis (1996)
Kavafis deserves better
Greek cinema doesn't boast many good films, and when a film like "Kavafis" comes out, people take notice. The film has beautiful scenes from 19th and early 20th century Alexandria, Constantinople and Athens and a wonderful score from the famous Vangelis (of "Chariots of Fire" fame). Most Greek films never reach a level that "Kavafis" has in these aspects. However, the script and story is so poor that "Kavafis" reveals little about the poet's life and inspiration and makes a movie that has so much potential utterly disappointing.
Director Smaragthis does two controversial things with the film. First, he has Cavafy speak no lines in the entire film, except for voice-overs of his poems. This decision is understandable considering that we only hear the true words of Cavafy in a film about him. Can't do much better for historical accuracy I suppose. However, for an audience, scenes where everyone else is speaking and Cavafy is sitting silently seem very odd. The times where Cavafy opens his mouth to speak and then suddenly doesn't are almost comic.
The second controversial aspect of this film is the fact that the movie deals only with Cavafy's homosexual love life. We learn very little about his family, education and inspiration for his poetry. Someone who had never known Cavafy before this film would think that all Cavafy did all day was lurk the dark alleys and tavernas of Constantinople and Alexandria to find men. The poems that Smaragthis chose to have in the film almost exclusively focus on homosexual themes. While Cavafy's homosexuality needs to be dealt with in a film, it seems every scene involves Cavafy staring into the eyes of some new man. In fact, Cavafy's rejection by the Athenian literary establishment is portrayed as Cavafy being rejected sexually by one of the leading Athenian poets of the time, Mavroudis. Not only do these scenes limit our understanding of Cavafy's life, but they really make for a static, and honestly boring movie.
A great poet like Cavafy deserves better. Let's hope the next person to take on the life of Cavafy decides to portray him as the complicated genius he really was.
Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man's Chest (2006)
Honestly, A Disappointment
As much as I enjoyed Johnny Depp's performance as Capt. Jack Sparrow, the action, and the visual effects, the plot and story behind the second installment of "Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man's Chest" makes the movie confusing and detracts from what we're watching unfold on screen. While the light tone and gentle gabs at the genre remain from the first movie, as well as the slightly intoxicated character of Jack Sparrow who is as hilarious as ever, character development is lacking. Elizabeth Swann is simply an annoying heroine who loses the edgy graciousness she had in the first movie, while Orlando Bloom just doesn't convey the youthful excitement from the previous film. Plus, the scene where Will is reunited with his father is just silly. Add in a two dimensional evil villain who just cares about money and you have at least three blah performances who revolve around Johnny Depp's Jack Sparrow. The movie is entertaining, but far too much is going on for us to enjoy Johnny Depp and the special effects.
Trapped in the Closet: Chapters 1-12 (2005)
R. Kelley's Odyssey
"Trapped in the Closet," the brainchild of rapper R. Kelley, should not be taken seriously at all. You can look at R. Kelley's terrible rhyming, ridiculous plot, monotonous music that goes on for 35 minutes with no variation, homophobia, misogyny, and immorality and bemoan that this is our generation's "Odyssey." Or, you can laugh. And that is what I did. Whether he meant it or not, "Trapped in the Closet" feels like the greatest Saturday Night Live skit ever put together (in fact, SNL did parody this and it was not at all as funny as the real thing). Essentially, it's a parody of R. Kelley's world without trying to be. You will not regret watching this.
Troy (2004)
The Wrath of Achilles
It's very easy to pick apart Troy. Not only does the film kill off major characters from Homer's epic "The Illiad", but it presents a Helen that makes Achilles' concubine, Briseus, more attractive than the face that launched a thousand ships. Despite its shortcomings, however, Troy is actually an excellent movie. Instead of focusing on the Trojan Horse or the kidnapping of Helen (both of which is NOT in the Illiad) the film focuses on the rocky relationship between the brilliant, bright-eyed warrior Achilles, and the Agammemnon, commander of the Greek forces.
While Achilles is doing all the work destroying the Trojans on the battlefield, King Agammemnon is getting all the credit. Achilles is not at all thrilled with serving for Agammemnon, and the hate both have for each other is displayed very well by the actors. The greedy and land hungry Agammemnon hates Achilles' insolence, but needs him to capture Troy. When Agammemnon takes away Achilles' "prize", the Trojan priestess Briseus for himself, Achilles sulks in his tent and refuses to fight. This is the central theme in Troy, and is also the main focus of Homer's "The Illiad".
With the notable exception of Helen, everyone is cast well for their roles. The brave and cerebral Hector, the idealistic but cowardly Paris, and the regal and proud King Priam all portray their characters well. The action is top-rate, with the opening scene and the one-on-one battle between Achilles and Hector highlighting the war scenes. The scene with King Priam asking Achilles for the body of his son is extremely touching and passionate and by far the best non-action scene in the film.
While the film is hardly the Illiad on film, you can't fault Troy for trying to take the focus off the love of Helen and Paris, the Trojan Horse, and the Greek gods for the Illiad's true plot, the wrath of Achilles.
The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen (2003)
Not as bad as it seems
"League of Extraordinary Gentlemen" is based on a comic book series from the '90s by the same name. With that in mind, it's easier to accept the gross anachronisms and implausible events (like Venice blowing up) that take place within the film. While LXG is nothing more than an action flick to pluck into the DVD player on a dull evening, it provides more than enough entertainment to keep most moviegoers happy. The LXG, an all-star team of classic literature characters, is an fun group to root for. With Sean Connery as Allan Quartermain and aging leader of the pack, Dr. Jeckel/Mr. Hyde, an adult Tom Sawyer, The Invisible Man, and Dorian Grey to name a few it is great to see these characters overcome their flaws to work together and defeat the generic brand of evil they are fighting against in the movie. While the twist in this movie isn't exactly a twist at all, it does enough to keep the movie going to the end. The action isn't half bad either, and the first scene with Sean Connery doing a good old fashioned butt-whupping definitely covered the cost of the 4 dollar popcorn I spent at the theatre. 2.5 out of 4.
I, Robot (2004)
High on action, not on philosophy
"I Robot" is a generic action flick disguised as a movie that will force you to ask yourself questions about the consequences of technology's advancement. Set in a futuristic Chicago, where robots serve as both humanity's slave and pet, Detective Del Spooner (Will Smith) is wary of the infiltration of robots in human society. Unlike the humanoid robots in the robotic soap opera "AI", the robots here clearly are machines despite their fluid movements and face-like expressions. When Dr. Lanning, the "father of robotics" dies one afternoon, most everyone writes it off as a suicide, except Detective Spooner who accuses Dr. Lanning's personal and top-of-the-line NS5 robot Sonny.
Spooner is regarded as crazy and paranoid by his fellow officers and leading robot scientists. What follows is a silly and unrealistic investigation of "clues" left by Dr. Lanning about the coming robot insurrection. After the robots turn on humanity, we are left with a silly action flick where the brash Will Smith single-handedly saves the human race from the maniacal machinery meant to be man's best friend.
High on action and low of philosophy, "I Robot" dissolves into the typical Will Smith genre as the movie progresses. With Sonny acting as some sort of messianic robot, the movie tries to draw on the question: If robots can do everything better than humanity, shouldn't robots be the masters and not the slaves? However, it is presented clumsily around the monotonous action sequences. Entertaining movie, but could've been better. 2.5 out of 4.
Helen of Troy (1956)
Doesn't do the Illiad justice
No movie does the Illiad justice, and this one is included. I'm silly for hoping that Troy will do this, but I know it won't either. Despite my disappointment with the movie, it is quite entertaining and doesn't do bad for an epic movie. But as a Greek scholar, it upsets me that no movie has ever been created that really depicts what the Illiad is all about- the wrath of Achilles. Oh well, thats up to me I guess.
This movie gets:
B-
or 5 stars on this websites scale
Is it on DVD?