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An error has ocurred. Please try againIn all sincerity I love practically everyone on this list, really, the vast majority.
New pairs, triplets and packs are back-loaded to the last pages because this new and improved format sucks.
I am haunted by faces. (A Nose Runs Through It) (And while we're on it where's the goddamn audio-book by Robert Redford? Get on it, Bob)
Reviews
Utopia (2020)
Ass Backwards
The ratings for the American 2020 version and English 2013 version are ass backwards. The American version is vastly superior to the English one. Casting, dialog, pacing, motivation and general focus are all better in the American version. Possibly it was because it was airing during Covid that the American version was not well received. It may have been too, too controversial for mass consumption. The English one is okay but nowhere near as exciting or downright scary as the American. It's a real freak-out. Terribly believable and far too close to home. Qanon has nothing on this. If your looking for edgy you've found it.
You're Killing Me (2023)
They Just Weren't Penbrook Material
One has to be smart to rate Penbrook and these girls were dumb. Dumb as the screenplay. Time and time again this needed stupidity to continue to its enviable conclusion. It tried very ineffectively to build a reason to root for our heroes but they kept making themselves victims and there's no sympathy for the idiotic. The Rotten Tomatoes and Popcorn ratings of 86 are inexplicable. The IMDb rating of 5 out of 10 is far more appropriate. There's a lot of good flicks of this nature out there. This is not one. These folks wouldn't be admitted to Penbrook. Maybe they could find a good community college.
Wanted (2008)
Rats! I was hoping it would be better.
I watched the beginning 8 minutes or so and the wife said she "wanted" nothing to do with it but I was intrigued so now 6 months later I resumed watching to an unsatisfying conclusion. It's a real toss-up as to who's more off-putting, James McAvoy or Dane DeHaan. That can be determined later. Just how many times can opposing bullets run into each other? You know, Robin Hood only split one arrow and that was one to many. It seemed be that by the end of the movie collateral damages were inconsequential, not to mention our closest 4 legged relative the rat. I must listen to my wife more often. Absurd action sequences abound. Horrible waste of Jolie and Freeman. The story plays out better in dozens of action and sci-fi movies of the past 50 years. You'd be better served watching one of them.
Oklahoma! (1955)
What Luck
What luck it was that Howard Keel who was the producer's first choice for Curly wouldn't take the job due to the filming of two separate versions. Shooting one in 35mm CinemaScope and take for take another in the newly developed Todd AO 70. Keel thought getting paid for one movie while making two was unacceptable. What luck because the right guy fell into the role of Curly. Keel was too stiff and stagy in manner and tone whereas Gordon MacRae was just perfect in both. Pairing perfectly with Shirley Jones in her amazing big screen debut as Laurie. Songs were trimmed from the original Broadway set list down to the ten best. The casting has some unusual aspects. Rod Steiger as Judd, Eddie Albert as Ali Hakim and Gloria Grahame as Ado Annie are all strange choices that paid off. Even James Whitmore and J. C. Flippen in a musical were curious choices. All this adds flavor to a most America musical. Along with the tangy casting is an underlying psychosexual underpinnings that brings out a decidedly odd slant. All this adds depth to what was already a recipe for success. For my money it's in a tie with The Music Man for the best big screen musical ever. As one the other reviewers so appropriately chimed "Oh, What a Beautiful Movie".
Two Tars (1928)
Sublime in every way
Two Tars is a look at Stan and Ollie's formula perfected. They took this silent perfection into the sound era. I digress, on Youtube Pimpernel Smith did quite an incredible job turning the two-reeler silent into a talkie adding lifted dialog and sound effects from other L&H movies from the sound era. It obviously required an immense amount of work BUT it distorts the true nature of this quintessential silent masterpiece. Kudos for his craftsmanship but I prefer mere musical accompaniment. Problem is Nostalgic Entertainment has the preferred musical accompaniment but their print is inferior to Pimpernel's which is practically pristine. Alas.
Back to Two Tars, in the first reel it's all about the boys using their guileless charm in landing dates to take on a driving excursion. The boys usually fare well with the ladies, as long as they aren't their wives. The second reel is the tit-for-tat that they made an art form raised to the nth degree. A lot credit has been given to Parrott's direction and Leo McCarey's germ. I always champion Richard C Currier, editor extraordinaire. Also, did anyone notice that cameraman was George (Giant and Shane) Stevens?! Hal Roach may have been a real schmuck but we can thank him for this 22 minutes of heavenly bliss. I end by saying if your in the right mood this is screamingly funny.
Avarice (2022)
Didn't you forget something?
The premise was simple enough. A dysfunctional family needs some help to work it all out. A home invasion might be just the trick. Expert archer Mom coming to the rescue could be very cool if not for her forgetting things all along the way. Especially the one thing her Dad tried to instill in her. What was that for if not to set-up her actions in the ensuing situations?? These lack of foresights are awkward ways of stalling the evitable. Shadow of a Doubt could have been Hitch's best if not for a graceless ending that insulted ones intelligence. Some cool kills, slick production values, a bad screenplay, lackluster direction, a boring score, bland villains and a Jessica Chastain wannabe in the lead adds up to only 5 stars. A moderate timewaster. In full agreement with IMDb consensus and completely befuddled by Rotten Tomatoes' 80 rating.
Evil Dead Rise (2023)
I'm writing this as I watch it
Because this has nothing to do with crappy 2013 remake of 1981 classic. If you're a fan of the 1981 version and found the 2013 version to be truly inferior, as I, then I recommend this highly. This is successful on all levels, art direction (LOL), score, suspenseful direction, gory effects and above all casting. Slick production values was not the downfall of 2013 version for this is as slick as they come and it's has all the sophistication of the original. It manages this without the originals benefit of putting you off-balance with seemingly poor everything, much as did the original The Hills Have Eyes. Going into this version you are wide-eyed and on an even keel. Granted, like 2013 it has many of the trappings of the original but unlike 2013 there's an undefinable revelry of the original. They just seem to have a better grasp of what they doing. Only time will tell if this will stand the test but in the immediate I like it. Though, we do have to stop putting Newt in every damn movie. And as I heard Morty say the other night, not a fan of of the whole three weeks earlier scenario though here it's a day. Of course, nothing will ever equal the original but at least the bad-taste-in-my-mouth from the 2013 version isn't there anymore.
The Seven Minutes (1971)
I had to order it from England
During the time of VHS the only way to get new copies of Russ Meyer movies would be to order them directly from his marketing outlet. I called to get The Seven Minutes and I was told he didn't own the rights to the movie or to Beyond the Valley of the Dolls. Both movie were assignments and not personally produced by him. I asked, "Are you Russ Meyers?" and to my astonishment he answered "Yes". We chatted for 20 minutes. 35 years later I have finally tracked the original through an English distributor. It's exactly as I remember when I saw it as a 16 year old. It did not drive me murder. The small crowd I saw it with was hurling derisive comments at the screen throughout. It is a scream. It's hard to describe. It's one of a kind. For a film buff and a Meyer fan like myself it is a hoot. Stars galore, all playing it straight but you can see it in their eyes that they're having a walloping good time. Pious and self-patronizing as only Russ Meyer could do. All tongue-in-cheek. Anyone taking this seriously has missed the point. Not the same over-the-top as Beyond the Valley of the Dolls and certainly not the unbridled, raunchy sex fare of his personally produced classics. But it's the kind of sly slight at puritanical mores that only Meyer could pull off . It is a riot. The story revolves around the possible obscenity of the book The Seven Minutes and local government officials using it as a political cudgel. In this regard it's quite topical in a smirking way. It's a must see for those with sense of humor. Star gazing at its best. Carey, Flippen and De Carlo are especially fun.
Stan & Ollie (2018)
Frankly, it's the finest bio-pic, ever
Academy snubs come no bigger than this. Either Reilly or Coogan should have walked away with a Best Actor Oscar but alas this marvel didn't receive a single nomination. Academy be damned. If you're a fan a better 89 minutes couldn't be spent. My highest recommendation.
The Gorgeous Hussy (1936)
Simply Appalling
Because of 45 we've become more AWARE of 7, Andrew Jackson. MGM is my least favorite studio of the Golden Age. They had several great exceptions, Dinner at Eight and Wizard of Oz and Les Miserables and handful of others but as a rule of thumb they were generally pompous and misguided and never so much as their apparent devotion to our seventh president. Racism is looked upon with humor in this vile depiction. Joan Crawford, "I'll trade my new slave for that" (that being Robert Taylor). Everyone involved is gone now but their shame is indelible. Six years later they romanticized Andrew Johnson in Tennessee Johnson. MGM just didn't get it and didn't care, similar to a current political party.
Mimic 2 (2001)
Casting mistake
Your heroine (Alix Koromzay) and hero (Bruno Campos) shouldn't be creepier than your monster. THAT'S a casting mistake and you shouldn't use an entomologist as a casting agent. The whole cast creeps and so does the story. I can comfortably say Jean de Segonzac should stick (like a bug on a windshield) with TV. The only reason it's not a 1 star rating is for cinematographer Nathan Hope I get another chance to shoot a movie. Sorry IMDb, this movie doesn't deserve the 10 line minimum but IMDb wouldn't let me submit the review until I wrote 10 lines so BBBZZZ ZZZ ZZZZZZ ZZZZ ZZZZZZZZZ ZZZZZZZZZZZZ ZZZZZZZZZZZ ZZZZZZZZZZ ZZZZ ZZZZ ZZZZZZZZZ
The Anderson Tapes (1971)
Heh, Heh, Heh
I can't understand the lack of enthusiasm for this wonderful crime meller by "ensemble" director Sidney Lumet. Crime mellers or thrillers always have the genre inherit problem of plot holes and plausibility factors, even the best of them. It seems this is what most of the detractors are complaining about (Laura with an 8.1 rating has far bigger plot holes and plausibility factors). For me this has less than most which is only one of the bounty of pluses in this sharply executed excursion. A Quincy Jones score, perfectly interwoven acerbic humor (my favorite flavor), Howard Hawks like timing and a cast to die for are some of the other pluses. About the rich cast, there Alan King, Norman Rose, Margaret Hamilton, Christopher Walken's fabulous debut, Dyan Cannon's best role (small as it was), Richard B Schull, Max Showalter, Conrad Bain, Janet Ward, Meg Myles, Paula Truman, Reid Cruickshanks, Val Avery, Martin Balsam (having the time of his life), Ralph Meeker, Dick Williams, Stan Gottlieb, Paul Benjamin, Scott Jacoby, Tom Signorelli and even Garrett Morris all do marvelous turns. This for me is Connery's best role. This is a movie rich in characters.
The plot is just enough to support the performances and action and that's all that's required to get this ball rolling. Connery and a few of his jail mates are released from prison, Connery after ten years. He's a thief and has a job in mind as soon as he gets out. It seems that in the ten years since he went in the world has been wired for surveillance and everybody is listening to and looking at everybody. Sean goes to see his old girlfriend Dyan and we're off to the races. Another plus is perfect pacing. As it has in all crime mellers through the ages this helps plug those plot holes and bridge those plausibility gaps. For me this movie is a lot of fun.
7 Faces of Dr. Lao (1964)
My favorite movie as a kid.
Many critics thought little of this movie as a whole and would instead cite Randall's tour-de-force as the single positive. I know someone who feels the film pales in comparison with the book but I don't think he was really familiar with the movie. I have yet to finish the book as I am possibly the slowest reader in existence. I am on the other hand very familiar with the movie. I've scene it 30 times at the very least. As a 8 year old I saw it at least three times at the theater, I was a buff from a very early age. I've seen it a couple times a year for last four years and I saw it two weeks ago. It stands the test of time. For me, it's a close tie with 1937's The Prince and the Pauper as the greatest "kids" movie ever. Both are perfectly thrilling entertainment with remarkably deep messages for audiences of all ages. Nobody can argue with the Academy's nominees for that year but it seems cruel that there wasn't room for Tony. It's a beautiful, heart-felt performance that never tarnishes. I've read enough of the book to know that the movie has been "Hollywoodized" but the basic lesson is not lost. It's one of the greatest movie ever made on the order 1924's The Thief of Bagdad or 1938's The Adventures of Tom Sawyer or 1941's The Devil and Daniel Webster or 1956's Forbidden Planet.
The Chases of Pimple Street (1934)
Hate to pop your pimple
Loud and annoying does not equal comedy. Charley Chase had a great silent film career but unfortunately sound came along and Charley just became obnoxious. Mighty low brow stuff that's poorly executed even by 3 Stooges standards. Inexplicably high IMDb rating.
IMDb wants ten lines of text for this review but frankly there isn't enough to this curiously high rated dreck to write ten lines about.
The terrible direction is credited to Chase but nobody's taking claim for writing this witless, vapid, tired (tired by Vaudville standards) tripe. What could possibly be the mystery of the high rating? This is just stupid. Funny's funny and this ain't funny.
The Babymakers (2012)
Jay's direction is better than his performance
I rented this movie and before I watched it I thought I'd check what the masses thought and I almost didn't watch the movie because of all the negative reviews. The only thing I could hope for is that it would be one of those movies like The Road to Wellville where a lot of people who are very uptight about there bodies can't handle the bawdy humor. Well, that's what happened. The Babymakers is very funny, well paced, the characters are likable and humor ranges all over the place, it's in the dialog, the visuals and the timing. I'd have to say this is one of the more likable comedies along with Role Models, Office Space, Away We Go, Sex Drive, Walk Hard and luckily it's not at all like Wedding Crashers, Bridesmaids, Good Luck Chuck or The Hangover.
The one big change I would have made was to keep Jay behind the camera and if his character was really necessary it would have played funnier with Gerry Bednob.
I wasn't going to watch this movie because all these negative reviews made me think I would see a big failure of Jay's direction and that wouldn't be any fun at all. Jay's direction is terrific.
And for reference, I'm offended by the toilet humor in Enchanted but I think the toilet humor in Not Another Teen Movie is hysterical. It's a matter of propriety. It's not right in Enchanted. It's fine in NATM. What's done in this movie is just fine for it.
Joan of Arc (1948)
I don't need 45 minutes more of this...
To start with this is one of the most miscast movies ever. I gasped when I saw Ray Teal in armor. Ward Bond, Gene Lockhart, Francis L Sullivan, Morris Ankrum and J Carroll Naish as Frenchmen, who was responsible for that? Bergman was atrocious. Her performance was bland and doesn't hold a candle next to Jovovich's torture in The Messenger or Seberg's vibrancy in Saint Joan. Both Milla and Jean were mercilessly crucified, or should I say burned at the stake, by critics but I much rather watch them than endure Bergman's monochrome recitation. I think Ferrer was possibly hampered by the temperance of the day. What he did was possibly as weird for its day as what Widmark did in a more enlightened time. The only thing duller than Bergman's "acting" was Fleming's direction which was completely void of imagination. Fabulous music but maybe a bit loud, beautiful Technicolor, fine costume and set design don't cover up these major flaws and I don't need 45 minutes more to tell the apple is spoiled. TCM is at this moment showing the 100 minute version. I don't know why they're doing that but 45 extra minutes isn't going to change Bergman's performance or the casting decisions. Harsh, but we live in harsh times.