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mikeboyd1986
Reviews
Seven Pounds (2008)
Don't Forget To Have A Box Of Tissues Handy
Superb movie especially if you think that maybe you've had enough good fortune in this world and maybe you should do some "paying it forward".
I liked the slow steady pace of the movie, easy to watch, a few puzzles as to why he is doing what he is doing. But it all becomes slowly clearer until you know who the lucky people are that he meets and finds. There is so much sadness because you know he is a good man and deserves to have a good life, but at the same time you know he wants to atone for what he did.
The ending is particularly touching as the main recipients find each other and recognise each other.
This really is one of those films that can be watched over and over especially when you are feeling a little sad and want to wallow in your sadness.
The Last House on the Left (2009)
Sick
It takes a sick mind to come up with a story like this. Unfortunately the world is full of people with sick minds who like to see sick stuff like this.
The rape scene was totally unnecessarily graphic, and way too long.
Just a note to future directors: yes, we get the idea, pants down, bum in the air, pounding away for a couple of minutes that seemed like an hour. What are you trying to do? Get some kind of award for getting as close to porn as possible.
I wish I hadn't seen it, but like a lot of these films, you want to know how the 'good' guys eventually slaughter all the bad guys.
I wonder how many hill billy types will think to themselves after watching this garbage: "Oh, that looks like fun. Where can I pick me up a couple of unsuspecting virgins?" Sorry director, producer - you produced a pile of garbage and I wish I could do to you what the character is this "film" did to the girl.
Drive (2011)
So Slow So Boring
Come on you guys who write massively long reviews of this terrible film using words like "retro" and "art-house flair"... Give me a break! We all know you work for the company or are paid to make these ridiculously over-complimentary reviews.
The only reason this film lasts as long as it does is because Ryan Gosling has a prompter in the background who has to tell him every line before he then repeats it parrot fashion.
If anyone spoke to me like that in real life, I would ask him if (1) was he deaf? (2) has he got a problem speaking? (3) is he trying to decide which of the many retorts he has running around his head is the best one? The conversations that the driver has with just about everyone in this film are non-human. No one is so slow at responding as this guy. And just because he takes half a minute to speak does NOT mean that what he has to say is in any way any more worth hearing. It is usually rubbish.
And at the end when he is bleeding in his car and we are waiting for something - anything - to happen, are we supposed to be relieved that he is still alive? I wasn't. I'd would have put another hole in his gut just to get the film over and done with.
This film missed by a mile. It could have been good, but failed miserable.
Promised Land (2012)
John Krasinski Should Stick To Comedy
What a terrible film for Matt Damon to be in! I know he part-wrote it with John Krasinki from the US version of "The Office", but he should learn when a script is good and when it is bad.
I'm sure all the tree-huggers will be praising this just because it is against "big oil", but this film doesn't deserve it.
After one hour I switched off and went to bed. The next day I thought I'd watch the end and wish I hadn't. The characters were so unbelievable, especially Matt Damon's - but I'm assuming he made the best of the script he was given.
The big surprise at the end concerning the environmentalist was not much of surprise and the resulting plot that followed that wasn't either.
A very slow moving film, obviously written by a tree-hugger in order to get the sap rising in other tree-huggers.
Didn't work for me and hence the very poor overall rating this film is getting.
Come on Matt - do another Bourne!
The Dark Knight (2008)
I Turned It Off With 25 Minutes To Go
It just got so boring. Lots of silly chases and explosions and people doing dare-devil stunts. Whoop-dee-do! But what about the plot? What about a bit of realism in the way people would react to the stuff shown in this film. And what about trying to stick to the laws of physics when doing these ridiculous stunts.
But mostly, I couldn't really care what happened to any of the characters in this film. I couldn't care less if Batman or the Joker got blown up or shot. And it just went on and on and on... Good grief, they could have cut an hour off and it might have been a good film.
I kept looking at the time and thinking "How long to go before I can get out of here?".
I see someone on the message boards has a topic "I haven't met anyone who hasn't liked this film". Well, now you have.
American Battleship (2012)
Another "Asylum" Rip-Off
I have just one question: who cast David Polinsky as "Admiral Hollis"? Just Google him and you will see he is a Star Trek fan - his Twitter account shows he is following three of the old Star Trek cast. So how did this non-actor get into this film? Did money money change hands? (Not to him, but from him).
Back to his acting ability - non-existent. As the top man in a fight to decide the fate of the world, he has a permanent grin on his face while delivering his high-pitched sombre words. It truly is the most laughable piece of miscasting ever.
So how do "The Asylum" get away with it? How do they make any money from these garbage films with crappy actors, bad plots, pathetic scripts and laughable CGI? It's simple: they get idiots like you and me to think that it can't really be as bad as all the reviewers say it is, and surely TV channels like SyFy wouldn't be publicising it so heavily if it wasn't any good, unless the SyFy channel is financially linked to The Asylum.
Thank God Universal filed a lawsuit against The Asylum. It's about time someone stopped this rip-off company.
The Day (2011)
Pretty Awful
Typical blood splattering nonsense where people do stuff that nobody would.
Silly tricks to make you jump like having someone scared in the woods, looking around for people chasing her and a figure passes really close to the camera at the same time a loud high pitched noise is generated. Just tricks to make you jump, but not because the plot or story is scary.
A girl in the middle of a field hears a noise and crouches down in the middle of the empty field as the camera zooms in and then magically someone grabs her. Now, where the heck did he come from? Answer: it was impossible, it was just another silly trick to make you jump.
Combine that with totally unnecessary blood splattering torture and that's about it. Not worth the time really.
Sorry this review is not well structured... I just finished watching the film and don't want to waste any more time on it.
Rogues Gallery (2010)
Very Bad
I tend to use 7.5 as the lowest IMDb rating of a film to indicate whether it is worth watching. I just saw this - still am watching it - on a satellite channel and wondered what the rating was, as I thought that it was a total waste of broadcast time.
So I am not surprised that it is rated below 5 - that is well below what I have determined to be the rating of films worth watching.
I see some reviewers - such as Mr Scoup from the USA - think that this is "funny really funny". I can only assume he doesn't get out much.
This was so bad that not only did I feel it necessary to find out what its IMDb rating was, but I also felt that I should warn people not to waste their time on it. There are so many better films and TV programs out there. Even for Mr Scoup.
Star Trek: The Next Generation: Time's Arrow, Part II (1992)
How I Hate This Character
This great episode was completely spoiled for me by this obnoxious character portrayal of Mark Twain or Samuel Clemens. Why on earth make him such a silly squeaky voiced obnoxious character. Such a great story - ruined by this actor.
Maybe Jerry Hardin - the actor who played the character - is famous in his own field, but in this episode he was an unwanted, over-played, irritating presence. He took over most of the scenes he was in, but not in a way that endeared you to him. He was a complete distraction to the plot with his silly squeaky voice.
I hope I never see him again.
Flashpoint (2008)
Ridiculous Plot
What a ridiculous plot! OK, I have only watched series 5 episode 1, but that was enough for me and I wished I hadn't. At the end I was laughing out loud at such a stupid plot.
So a guy is threatening his wife with a gun and this wonderful police team decide to shoot dead the daughter who is trying to save her mum. Yeah, right, like that's gonna happen in real life.
I'm really glad that one of the cops did actually ask the question "Why not shoot to wound?" i.e. rather than kill, but obviously the script writers had no answer to that so this suggestion was rebuffed with a "Don't go there" comment from another cop! Why not? Why not go there? Because then the ridiculousness of this whole episode would be laid bare!
I bet any real cop watching this nonsense would be shooting at their TV set by the end of this program.
So how did it get a rating of 7.4? Beats me. I give it a zero.
Suits (2011)
The Most Obnoxious Actor On TV
Who is this chubby faced, balding, rabbit toothed, ugly smile actor called Rick Hofffman? I fully understand why his IMDb photo includes only half of his face. It's to stop scaring the kids, of course.
As for his acting and character in "Suits"... why have they ruined this series by including this guy in it? By all accounts, the other actors are really good, and I'd really like to watch the series, but every time I start to like an episode, the weird looking obnoxious and cocky guy called Louis Litt shows his face and ruins it all. I can't stand 5 seconds of him and his stupid grin.
Maybe he helped get the series started and has a contract that can't be broken.
Until the director wises up and dumps this actor, I'll be giving this series a miss. There are plenty of others without him in them.
Falling Skies (2011)
It Gets Worse Every Week
Why couldn't they get some good script writers? Why have this over-emotional nonsense running side by side with what should be a decent sci-fi story.
And why not make the characters realistic? For example, if someone tells you that he knows "what these aliens are all about" at the very moment he is leaving the group, wouldn't you think someone would possibly ask "And what exactly do they want". But no, not in this ridiculously scripted story.
Maybe the writers just want to drag out this simple story for as many seasons as they can, or maybe they haven't decided want the aliens want anyway.
Either way, I don't hold out much hope for this series. I may stop bothering to watch it soon, and that says a lot from someone who loves sci-fi.
2012: Ice Age (2011)
Easily The Worst Movie Ever
Within minutes of watching this - for free, thankfully - I knew this was going to be bad. I hoped that the stupid fat guy in the car would get killed off quickly so a real actor could take over for the rest of the film... but he didn't. He WAS the star of the film. Oh My God!
Then there was his incredibly ugly wife with the silly wig and the equally ugly and stupid son. How did they get picked for this film? Maybe they are all related in real life.
Just remember these names:
Director: Travis Fort. Writers: Paul Sinor, Victoria Dadi
In future, you can immediately ignore any movie where these names appear in the credits.