regular14 Reviews

Southland Tales (2006)

Just watched it and wow.

[7/10 · 23 May 2008]

Southland Tales the bastardized child of Richard Kelly finally got released-- was hated-- and i finally saw it.

Wow. It's two and a half hours and not once was i bored. The music alone will keep you watching, and the storyline is pretty out there. Many of the actors are playing roles you don't normally expect from them and in some ways, especially for Will Sasso, was a good thing. (I didn't think i'd ever take Will Sasso serious.) And for once Sean William Scott didn't annoy me.

My only real issues with the film is that-- the graphic novel is sometimes too important to the story. Lucky for us we have IMDb FAQ to tell us what we missed. But overall, I understood most (i will never ever say all) of what was going on in the movie. My other big issue with the movie is that the ending 30 minutes or so become a little sloppy and sometimes the viewer's connection to what's happening on screen is broken by an off rhythm joke, or something to that affect.

Overall i really enjoyed the movie, and on top of that, I do see what haters have to say as valid- but when a film can take control of your emotions, as this one surely did for me, i usually think it's a winner.

Richard Kelly has his own brand of SciFi and an obsession with the end of the world. You can draw a lot of parallels between this film and Donnie Darko... but do you really mind?

Lars and the Real Girl (2007)

Strange, Original, Funny, Emotional.

[9/10 · 12 February 2008]

I'm an 18 year old male who has a strange love for gosling movies. (Except Murder By Numbers and Notebook). So i was greatly looking forward to seeing Lars and the Real Girl despite my suspicions of Gilespy's directing.

Well Two hours later, i'm not only in love with the film but I'm becoming... well... emotional. And maybe i'm the only one who feels this way, but God it was heart wrenching, yet heartwarming all in the same. I'm surprised and appalled this film did not receive more attention from Awards, it's well acted, well written (well that one got Oscar recognition), and you can't help but be emotionally invested.

Lars and the Real Girl is one of the best movies of the year.

Two Tickets to Paradise (2006)

A General Mediocre film about 15 years late

[4/10 · 31 January 2008]

Now that's it's 2008, who really has a care in the world about a guy like DB Sweeney, even back then he wasn't a big deal.

Two Tickets to Paradise is an outlined story that's well and true where three friends hit the road under each of their personal circumstances. Again, a proved plot. The problem with this film, other than it's 'so bad it's compelling' title, is the script.

Cliché after cliché three guys do the same things you've seen in every other road movie... and blow up vanna white's house.

John C. McGinley's acting job is superb, especially compared to that of the late DB Sweeney's. (His career is dead, hence the late. though i hear he's moving to TV, good for him). Also, John C likely has the least awful character in the film.

The score is so generic it actually feels like you're watching a third rate film from 1993, or Jeff Anderson's movie Now You Know (also set me back a few years, but at least that was more entertaining.) I mean, yah, i guess i enjoyed parts of it. But, the nerdy guy is annoying, DB tries to be this cool failed guitar player (with some rough influences, like some of the worst of classic rock) who has some strange relationship with a stripper, and John C is a gambler who's wife and kid leave him after the death of his father as well as a visit from one of his bookie's henchmen.

I keep thinking up ways to make this movie better. But i think burning the script would have been a healthy start.

But, as i've hinted this whole time, it's not the worst movie ever. And any chance i have to see McGinley in a starring role, i'll take it. Hopefully he starts getting some better projects.

Charlie Wilson's War (2007)

Man can change the world.

[7/10 · 12 January 2008]

A film with a great plot, a true story, and Philip Seymour Hoffman, if it's not for you then neither is the entire idea of film. The direction was on par, PSH was far above expectations (as he always is, and should be up for supporting actor this year at the Oscars... even though he likely won't win, which is sad). Tom Hanks is finally cool again, and who knew the Julia Roberts still looked so damn good in a bathing suit? The only downfall in the film was it's inconclusiveness. I mean, it does come to a close, yet you still feel like there's something coming, and maybe that was the point, because that's the way you feel it should have been, and this is the way it was. Still felt like the ending rushed. Either way, Charlie Wilson now has a wonderful spot in film history with one hell of a tribute to him, and one hell of a story.

Go See this movie

Desperate (1947)

Desperate: Mediocre Noir, Incredible Lighting

[7/10 · 24 November 2007]

Desperate is a film about a wrongfully accused man running to keep his life, his wife safe, and at the same time trying to clear his name.

The storyline itself has a few too many holes to really make it to the top of any Best noir list. Certain sequences just don't add up logically. One scene of the police showing up at the gangster's hideout, i can't quite figure out how they knew where it was.

The film's lighting though, is classic, classic noir. In the beginning of the film there's a scene where our hero is captured and beaten by the gangsters and overhead light is hit and sways back and forth, words can't well describe the lighting's beauty in the film, but my god there is beauty.

It seems to be on TCM, which is where i just watched it, so i'd say check it out if you love noir. Not to mention a short runtime of 75 minutes.

The Abandoned (2006)

The Abandoned is a Unique Experience to say the least

[7/10 · 19 June 2007]

I finally just got to see the film and wow. While i did have some issues, one including a woman named Natalie, and another about an accent that i still don't know if it was supposed to be British of it was supposed to be American-- but those faults (and some others) aside it was just a damn good time. This is one of the few times i'm not completely appalled at an American supernatural horror film, and its from After Dark which isn't the place i would look for such a gem.

While i'm a huge fan of B-movie horror, and have seen a few of the 8 Films to Die For (and particularly enjoyed Dark Ride)-- this is the best AFter Dark film i've seen and it's pretty scary if i do say so myself.

Phantoms (1998)

My Favorite Guilty Pleasure Movie

[10/10 · 16 June 2007]

As every movie lover does, I have guilty pleasure movies. 1998's horror film Phantoms is the top of my guilty pleasure list. It's well paced, okay acting, and just so much fun. The premise is very familiar and the aura is spooky on it's own as well as it has some fun similarities to the original Silent Hill video game (especially the big bug thing that attack Liev Schriber). My favorite part of the film is the fact that Oscar Winner Ben Affleck, and Oscar Nominee Pete O'Toole, appear in the cast along with Grindhouse's Rose McGowan, and Everything is Illuminated director (and the guy who played Cotton Weary in Scream) Liev Schriber. So if you like B-grade supernatural horror movies on those nights you find that all your friends get together and need something fun to watch, i'd say try Phantoms.

Let's Go to Prison (2006)

I Didn't Expect to like it...

[7/10 · 16 April 2007]

Putting this into my DVD player i didn't expect more than a few chuckles but i found myself laughing hysterically rather frequently. While i don't think every joke landed quite as well as Odenkirk would have wanted, the overall product was rather funny. Chi McBride has by far the funniest character in the film since he does fall in love with one of my personal favorites, Will Arnett. Dax Shepherd was surprisingly standable considering i'm really not a fan of his at all. Dylan Baker's "comment in the butt hole" joke i don't think quite made it... or maybe that was the point, so i didn't care much for him. Koechner was as funny as usual and all the stupid quirks of this movie made me laugh. Deep? No. Funny? Yes. What's funnier than a rich inmate struggling with a bunch of people who want to kill him or try to have dirty sex with him? That's funny.

Puppet Master vs Demonic Toys (2004 TV Movie)

Very Possibly The Greatest Film EVER!

[3/10 · 16 July 2006]

Now, we've all seen the IMDb top 250 of all time (and bottom for that matter) but i have to insist that no matter what the rating for this movie is that is be inducted to the top 250 for being one of the greatest laugh out loud movies of all time. Consider the baby-doll's Fart Attack, and the way that same baby beats up all the good characters in the movie, or the way that just because Corey Feldman has to pee, that his daughter's kidnapping is unknown to him through the screaming and noise. Or the fact that the police woman that Corey's character meets somehow knows he has fled to his mothers house. Or maybe it could be that there is a Christmas Spirit Award presented by the police department to a toy company. This Movie, Ladies and Gentleman is what you call an instant classic. And by Instant Classic i mean, the cast and crew of this film should probably be burned alive or at least maimed a little bit for doing this. But yeah, you should probably rent it, it is more laugh out loud than the Ringer or Guess Who.

House of D (2004)

Why didn't anyone like this movie

[7/10 · 9 August 2005]

For me, this was one of the top movies i wanted to see this year. I've never been a big fan of Duchovney but i must say when i saw the trailer i was particularly excited. But i got on IMDb.com and saw the 6/10 rating was very let down. well now having finally seen the movie i must express how much i enjoyed it. Certain points in the beginning are shaky like why his kid sleeping on a bench. and why did his mother walk in on him in the shower... and why is he shooting cigarette butts with his pee. Well all kids are different i guess. But i particularly loved erika badu's part as the woman in the house of D. her performance alone was worth watching. The movie is a roller-coaster of events all of which you say to yourself "oh thats bad." Duchovney does a great job creating 13 year old confusion and when young Tom tell his mother they have to move because he made a fool of himself around school you begin recalling your own past saying... "yeah i made a fool of myself a lot" and you say it again when he shows up to the dance in all orange. I say Duchovney's movie is a winner... so why didn't anyone like it?

Constantine (2005)

Read this and keep an open mind

[6/10 · 22 February 2005]

I gave this movie a 7/10 cause i went and saw the movie (payed nothing) and sat back and enjoyed the ride. Now, i have an amazing amount of A.D.D, and i came home and realized that this movie was probably only this good cause i just watched the movie and really didn't pay attention to plot detail. BUt i must say the Hell parts were amazing. Visual Affects were very good. But the Last 15 minutes or so aren't great. Also to add to my non disappointment, i know nothing of the comic book.

So my advice to everyone is go watch the movie, don't pay attention.

I did the same thing with Dawn of the Dead, i watched it once and was like this is great, death and what not, and then i watched it a second time like "wow this is laughable as hell" but whatever ENJOY!

Starkweather (2004)

This could have been good... but it's not.

[1/10 · 30 January 2005]

Yeah, well i saw this movie and i was thinking, "movie about spree killing. cool. it's got a high IMDb rating" (i didn't realize at the time only 24 people had voted. I watched it and noticed how cool the opening scene was. And you could even see just a little bit of the microphone in the top of the screen no big deal. Now beyond the acting just being awful (cept for the guy in the hat, i rather liked him) you can see the microphone in every other scene!!!! It got to the point where i began thinking that the people who made this movie never watched it and just threw it in a can and shipped it out to whoever could bare the awfulness. so please, only see this movie if you want to make fun of it.