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Indian Police Force (2024)
OTT is from Mars, Bollywood moviemakers are from Venus
OTT is from Mars, Bollywood moviemakers are from Venus
Bollywood's moviemakers should quit when they are considered ahead of the game with the tags like "genius, maestro, visionary, expert".
By opening up, you show the hollowness and shallowness of your brains. It is actually inconceivable to believe someone wrote this weak story line, someone scripted it, the Great Legendary Rohit Shetty directed it while someone decided to spend their money.
Really, what world you guys are living in? Do you think, it's 80s where "machine guns are flaring and hero runs in between of them" and people are eating this up? Again, where are you guys living? At least watch some recent creations on OTT and think what you are about to release?
This is embarrassing, this is beyond "chullu bhar pani", this deserves permanent eviction from the industry. This is beyond going further down than Ram Gopal Verma. There, that's the worst insult I could come up with. This is a 5 yr old boy in galli cricket going against Olympics.
Illogical sequences, absolute no cognitive presence, which to be frank made sense in your dumb characters' comedy (?) movies, but dude, what planet you are living in?
Please spare us, if you know anyone from your fraternity thinking about coming over to OTT, please reach out to them, please save them from this embarrassment.
3 stars because I believe you guys could do worse.
Mangalavaaram (2023)
Promises big and underdelivers hugely
Promises big and underdelivers hugely
Pros
Cinematography - Good picturesque f1.2 kind of shots.
BGM - Help build excitement.
Cons
Misleading - The entire trailer and buildup was for a paranormal movie. But it is anything but.
Story - Once it becomes clear what the movie is about - you are left with nothing but mundane revenge drama.
The end scene shows both of them sitting at the bottom of the well, but if they happen to make a sequel, I wouldn't be surprised if someone was dreaming that too.
The story stays around sly sexual remarks, some explicit scenes sold under a psychological disease, and the story never builds up.
Huge disappointment!
The Village (2023)
Not logical, cheap and flimsy recreations and dull story
I started watching it but lost it when the guy starts walking in the pitch-dark jungle and claims to walk for 1 and a half hours.
Later he reaches some other small town, talks to people, and starts walking back without getting any help. Dude, just put yourself in his place, why the **** would you go back empty hands, that too walking again?
Later the girl also comes out of the car, starts running around to find their dog, again in the pitch-dark place. At least pretend to hold your phone's flashlight to make it logical.
Stopped watching after those homemade plastic PPU kits and those giant luminescent flowers.
Black Mirror (2011)
Season 6 - Huge Disappointment - No scary AI
Huge Disappointment - No AI bad side
I was very eager to see the actual consequences of GPT30 down the line now that we have actually working AI going around.
And Netflix, being Netflix, produced another fodder-cannon-like, daily-meal-like season from Netflix. Netflix literally takes good brands and makes out mundane, watered-down, cheap graphics versions of the premium concepts.
First episode - Hardly any innovation, familar concept of 'my life is TV'
Second episode - Disgress to Black Mirror, just a crime-thriller. We have thousands of those.
Third episode - Good concept, but too long and slow.
Forth episode - Anothere werewolf... please....
Sixth episode - demon? Really, now we are getting in voodoo like stuff? Black Mirror?
Rana Naidu (2023)
Slow, could have been more
With such talented artists, this could have been so much better.
Also, 'A-rated' doesn't mean 'crass'. Look at Game of Thrones, it had its share but the rest was brilliant too. You feel like taking a bath after watching one of these. Also, this language is used by everyone. Usually, there are categories, like in 'Breaking Bad' - Walter White Jr. Will not use foul language, but Jesse would - because of his upbringing, which makes sense.
But in this, nope - everyone is in the 'A-rated' series, why not use it?
Positives - Venkatesh with his original voice speaking in Hindi
Negatives - Slow and dis-oriented.
The Lord of the Rings: The Rings of Power (2022)
"Most modern fantasy just rearranges the furniture in Tolkien's attic." Well, this series is not even in Tolkien's town, let alone attic.
Rings of Power
Similarities to LOTR (of Tolkein) - There is Galadriel, there is Elrond, that's it.
Do not expect a mesmerizing, magical world of LOTR (by Peter Jackson PJ).
You know that quote from Terry Pratchett "Most modern fantasy just rearranges the furniture in Tolkien's attic."?
Well, this series is not even in Tolkien's town, let alone home. This will make PJ's soul turn in his house.
Casting - Do you remember that clip from Peter Jackson's LOTR cast director? "We had to ensure every elf looks like a model".
Well, the casting directors in this series went the opposite of that. Galadriel of ROP could be an extra in PJ's LOTR.
Background - Not in a single place, you will feel you know the background score, it's completely different.
VFX - What VFX? Almost nonexisting. Also, Galadriel floating in the water is so bad that I could have done a better job in MS Paint.
Cinematography - No wide shots of the vast fields, no mesmerizing long shots showing the beauty of different terrains. It could be a play.
Content - The elves are so shineless (for a lack of a better word) in this. Constantly bickering (between Galadriel and her teammates, between Galadriel and Elrond, etc), Galadriel's teammates not being able to fight, and rebelling after the first bad encounter.
Makes you think, are they even elves? Harry Potter's elves seem braver that these bunch.
Aarya (2020)
Season 2 review - Remember 'Ab tak 56' sequel with no surprises? This is the same!
Season 2 should have continued from that end of season 1 peak, from the achievements of the protagonist. Instead, Aarya continues as a scared mom (again?), an underdog for the entire second season (except the final episode of course).
Feels like, the Director just wanted to repeat Aarya's season 1 finale episode performance, and the rest of the season was fillers with Hollywood cliches (list below).
Where is Aarya's character growth? That's the big difference between something like 'Breaking Bad' versus this.
Biggest plot hole - The cop, Khan arrests Aarya for her brother's (Sangram) murder charges, just on the statements of her sister-in-law.
But, when he gets a direct lead that Aarya's security guy 'Gopi' killed Sangram, instead of questioning her, he goes to her home and asks for an apology? WTF? Gopi is gun-for-hire for sure but is in the direct employment of Aarya, why not arrest her now?
All of the Hollywood cliches as promised above
1. When cops take you in - Where is my phone call/My lawyer?
2. 24 hours only in remand?
3. Is your pregnancy hospital bag ready?
4. Your water broke (although WTF with calls made in leisure instead of rushing to the hospital?)
5. Can I be in the operation theatre while the baby is being delivered?
6. Overdose (OD)
7. Rehab center (people sitting in a circle)
Meenakshi Sundareshwar (2021)
I wish director Vivek Soni leaves South Indians alone.
Or learns culture first.
If you didn't like Shahrukh Khan as a Tamilian in Ra One and cringed on Kareena Kapoor's weird dance steps in Chammakchhallo, this movie will feel like cockroaches crawling into your pants.
Those South Indian movies cheaply dubbed in Hindi start looking much better against this movie. At least, they acknowledge that they are in South India, and while we watch them, we think "Sure, I guess that is how they do it over there, weird but I guess I can try to understand", but this is neither here, nor there.
Proper South Indian place, proper South Indian people (not North Indian people relocated) speak pure Hindi and as if realizing surroundings, throw a line in broken Tamil.
After Ra One in 2011, there were big talks of people wishing Bollywood would stop caricaturing South India.
After 10 years, in 2021, this movie still proves that this particular mentality has not gone.
Bollywood's South India portrayal check-list
1. South Indian setup
2. South Indian family
3. Few Tamil lines (don't worry if the accent is screwed)
4. Jigarthanda
5. Suprabhatam on Pooja (don't worry what time it is)
6. Cringe fest - Attai, kanna, vadai, dosai in regular Hindi.
Drishyam 2 (2021)
Some shortcomings
The movie is a worthy sequel and I am sure there will be lots of praises. To cover all aspects, I am trying to list some of the shortcomings.
1. Unnecessary sub-plots - Jose is short of money, sure but his struggle with his wife does not add anything to the story. Similarly, the Anu's (younger daughter) friend's investigation is left open-ended.
2. Length could be 30 mins shorter - again relates to point one above. A trimmed version of the movie will still be similarly effective.
3. The big reveal isn't as effective as the big reveal of the first movie. It will feel grand when you watch it for the first time. But in the hindsight, this could have been done with more scenes related to the preparation of the "Drishyam".
4. Making friends with the graveyard worker and medical college watchman seems far stretched (for this movie and the movie protagonist is preparing, both) than realistic.
All in all, a great watch and leaves potential for another sequel :)
Live Telecast (2021)
Excrutiatingly slow
Pros
1. The haunted house is telecasted live, that's the only different point which might attract you to watch.
Cons
1. As the title says, the slowness matches with Saas-Bahu serials where every scene feels padded for length.
2. The horror part is only the changed eyes and the ghost picks up by the throat, nothing else.
3. Technical shortcomings to embarrass actress like Kajal Aggarwal to act into. The "actress" just obliging throwing profanity and asks dumb questions like "why are you behaving like this?" even after seeing people getting possessed and tried to kill her earlier.
4. Slow-motion scenes (to pad up runtime I guess) and lame cliff-hangers at the end of each episode.
Torbaaz (2020)
Slow movie, match copied from Lagaan
After the first 10 mins, I guestimated that this movie can't be bigger than 2 hours. Paused to check the length, and there it was it - 1 hour and 42 mins.
Clearly stretched scenes to pad movie time make it painful to watch.
Half of Sanjay Datt's dialogs are inaudible and we feel like waiting for the next day so that he is out of his hangover.
Cliché situations copied from Lagaan -
a. Repeated twice in the movie - the coach brings a new player, rest of the team resist, but agree in the end.
b. Coach challenges a better team for a match, team practices, and ends up winning.
c. Opposition team starts well in the start.
d. Hat trick
e. The team thinks they lost.
f. Last ball win.
Plus - scenic views. Afganistan landscape itself serves this purpose.
Miss India (2020)
Lost it when they used dubbing with a text to speech for a US woman.
SPOILERS
1. Movie starts with a slew of tragedies. Two well-established characters who delivered countless comedy movies are wasted right at the start.
2. Not realistic - Entire family relocates to the USA based on single employment, not sure what visa everyone got.
3. Protaginst gives a big speech about how women are capable of running the world, and the next scene starts making telemarketing calls.
4. Not sure is it me, but Kirti Suresh's dubbed voice sounds like low budget Samantha's voice.
5. She literally sets up a tea-stall in an open park implying no licenses were procured but complains when her stuff is confiscated.
Stopped watching after this.