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skatepawn
Reviews
The Unknown (2005)
A complete disappointment
OK, the only enjoyment we got from this film was reading the review from mariemoren. I don't know why, but after watching the movie, and then reading that review, I couldn't stop laughing for 5 minutes.
Now that that's out of the way, this movie was a complete waste of time. You never even get to see Bigfoot attack anyone. Did they rent the suit, and were afraid of damaging it? In one scene in which Bigfoot is in the background, he does what we can only assume to be is a disappearing act as he disappears into thin air, which leads us to think he is some kind of spirit or ghost, but it is never explained in the movie. Can Bigfoot teleport? Is he a ghost? An alien? A Dragonball Z character? Who knows, we certainly don't after spending over an hour watching this garbage.
Most of the kills that happen in the movie are the characters killing each other with guns. Ugh, how boring.
I am a fan of bad movies that are at least entertaining, and this one isn't. Stay away, Bigfoot is a mythological monstrosity of giganthropic proportions, and he deserves a more legendary movie than this.
Ninja Vengeance (1993)
worst "ninja" movie ever
This movie was bad, and by bad we mean not even fun to make fun of. We are connoisseurs of bad movies, horror and ninja movies in particular. First off, this movie had absolutely no ninjas in it, despite what the box art would lead you to believe. The main character (a black belt in ninjutsu) spent the entire movie getting the living crap knocked out of him by bumbleskank rednecks. The main reason seems to be instead of fighting, he attacked with full body... rolling. Also, his beliefs that smearing mud on his body "camouflaged" him from the vengeful rednecks are undoubtedly part of his supreme ninja training. The only real ninja in this movie was the Kawasaki he rode into town on. Sadly, I'm not kidding!
Fortunately, boobs are this movies redeeming quality, as the lead female character lusts after people who are really good at rolling. In the hay. With angry rednecks all around. My head hurts, don't watch this movie.