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kid_rondeau
Reviews
Morgan's Ferry (2001)
Hmmm...
Wow. My girlfriend and I just bought this VHS at our local Salvation Army, for $2.00. It was still in the "Blockbuster Video" preowned shrink wrap! But with Rollins and Zane, who could pass it up? It isn't spectacular, with dialog and plot that are consistent with a Lifetime original. The acting is pretty bad, with Johnny Galecki delivering the only passable Southern drawl. Rollins's accent is sporadic, as is Galecki's limp(the film opens up after he has an established foot injury).
Hey, it was only 90 minutes long, so if you're into Henry Rollins or Billy Zane, then you should give it a watch.
Ninja Phantom Heroes (1987)
Terrible, but hilariously terrible!
I read on a different site that this film was put together from generic stock footage of various martial arts films. I believe it! The soldiers in the Military Prison wear outfits that look like they are made of vinyl. The "ammunition dump" is indicated by a white bedsheet that has "U.S. Ammunition Dump" scrawled across it in shoe polish.
With such lines as, "Maybe it's a plot to kill US"(accent on "us") and "They're throwing a party in honor of the local rich," it will leave you confused long enough to see the final "climactic" fight between the white ninja and the cameo ninja...with weapons like an umbrella that shoots fireworks, a flying percolator, and a bunch of silver-painted LP's!
Somewhat hard to come by...so if you do, be sure you have beer handy.