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Reviews
Nobody Knows Anything! (2003)
So Horrible I want my 10 minutes back
I actually suffered through 10 minutes of this thinking that it might get better.... Please do yourself a favor, and don't bother watching this.
Unless you enjoy intolerably bad movies, your time is better spent anywhere else.
And I do mean ANYWHERE.
It is hard to believe that any of these actors who participated in this movie did not get banned from the business permanently. It certainly is a black mark on their careers in my opinion.
So, what was wrong with this movie? Poor Acting. Bad Jokes. Bad Plot.
What is good about this movie? You don't have to watch it.
Underworld: Evolution (2006)
A big disappointment compared to the First Movie
I was a fan of the original Movie, in fact I own it, unfortunately, this one was a big let down.
Essentially, this movie is from the first screen to the last screen nothing more than buckets of blood, gore, sex, nudity, and what else? Not much else. They seem to have forgotten to include the story. Interesting that the special effects are somewhat pathetic. The blood spattering for example is excessive to the point of being stupid. In several scenes I thought the blood looked like "claymation" or something to that effect.
As for sexual content. Why? The first movie was fine without it... This one was filled with gratuitous nudity. Unnecessary.
In summary, if you enjoyed the first movie, don't expect this one to be very satisfying.
Gigli (2003)
Unbelievably Stupid
I can not find words to express how horrible this film is. Sometimes, I enjoy watching dumb films for a cheap laugh, but this one was so incredibly stupid that I couldn't even laugh. Affleck - the "Sultan of Slick" and Lopez - the Lesbian Zen "Gangsta" (Whose tough girl accent fades in and out every other scene) If only they had not been trying so hard to take themselves seriously, this might have been a funny movie.
As it was...
Burn it. Really, don't waste your time or money. It's that pathetic. Then again, why not. Don't take my word for it... I am sure you will not be able to appreciate how truly DUMB this movie is until you see it yourself.
The Last Samurai (2003)
Good Story AVG. Acting.
Good story, great scenery. It's a shame that Tom Cruise got the part as the "token white guy," because he really stunk. I mean, some actors, you can feel how they are supposed to be feeling because of the body language they portray to the camera, but this one.... I have seen more emotion on a wall.
Other than that it is well worth watching.
The battle scenes are excellent. A lot of beautiful imagery throughout the movie. The story was interesting enough to entice me to want to read more about this topic.
I think the "Tribal Leader" (head of the Samurai) was an excellent actor, and did a really great job.
Catwoman (2004)
Another Heroine butchered.
Halle Berry has destroyed yet another of my favorite comic book heroines. First Storm, and now Catwoman....
Someday, perhaps people will figure out that she *can't* act. Sorry Halle, getting nude for the camera is prostitution not acting, and I for one think that you aren't worth the 6 bucks.... I wish people would stop casting her in comic book movies.
Then again, acting aside, the dialog I could stand to listen to was intensely cheesy.
Oh - and I am really sick of people saying that we are sexist for not liking female action stars... Fact of the matter is I love Heroines, with Batgirl being one of my all time favorite comics. I was really really hoping this movie would not be a bomb, but Halle made sure that it was a critical miss...