Change Your Image
blueavenger
Reviews
The Creator (2023)
So disappointing
I really wanted to like this, as I am a fan of Gareth Edward's work (Monsters is a great little B-Movie, I really liked Godzilla, and Rogue One is my favourite Star Wars movie. Sadly, this was a crushing disappointment.
The script was terrible from the offset, with mostly limp expositional dialogue. And the plot holes and technical inconsistencies were glaringly obvious - such as needing a ground / super tank force to raid the AI village, when all you needed to do was position the Nomad over the top and blow it to kingdom come (and sending in running robot bombs?!?! Especially when America had apparently outlawed AI).
And the New Asia authorities, trying to track JDW's character for abducting Alphie, but not having a facial recognition / surveillance system in every town and city in the region. And things like letting JDW's character jump overboard from the hover boat, and no one diving in after him. What, the robots still aren't waterproof in 2065?!?! And then having JDW board the shuttle, and have it divert toward Nomad. But the second a rogue vehicle is heading towards the most advanced military installation in history, they don't think to just blow it out of the sky, and just let it dock instead?!?!
Ultimately, I could forgive the plot holes and inconsistencies (the Nomad light beam appearing in numerous locations at once, even though it is beamed vertically from only one location / Maya's body being intact, and with makeup, 5 years after it was nuked...) if the story was more convincing, and made sense, and the script was better, with more convincing performances. Instead, this is an inconsistent, implausible mess of great visuals and good ideas.
I was tempted to give it 3/10 for how little I enjoyed it and for its numerous plot holes, but I upgraded it to 4 because of the visuals, the concept of the 30 second memory download of dead people, and Alison Janey's performance (tarnished, somewhat, by her character's ludicrous decision to turn her back when shot with a magnetic bomb).
I hope Gareth Edwards gets the chance to redeem himself on a future project.
Obi-Wan Kenobi: Part VI (2022)
THIS is how I would have justified the plot of Obi-Wan
How about this as alternative motivation / justification for Obi-wan's / Vader's bizarre choices in both the build up to the showdown, and then leaving each other alive during that fight scene:
Obi-Wan (from the start), plauged with guilt still, fearing that he has lost his religion (can't reach Qui-Gon) during his exile, and also worried that if Anakin could switch to the darkside, maybe he could too, has visions of a fight between them. It never finishes so he doesn't know who wins, but believes it is inevitable. The Leia thing happens concurrently with his troubles, and he ends up encountering Vader at the quarry site, but is confused, conflicted. Why? Vader is too. He is sloppy. He senses something in Obi-Wan, and a seed of doubt about the empire. They fight, but Vader can't kill him and demands that he reveal what he is hiding from him (Luke & Leia's survival). Obi-Wan is then resuced.
Cue, the intervening episodes, culminating in Vader chasing the rebel ship. Vader, ORDERS his crew to not shoot down the tiny vessel, but just pepper it with fire, because he can feel Obi-Wan is on there, and he has had this growing unease since he has been back on the scene; he is worried that Obi-Wan is reigniting his good side and filling him with doubt that has clouded his abilities and left him sloppy (leaving Reva alive, for instance).
Obi-Wan can sense this too, and realizes a showdown is inevitable, so leaves the ship and lures Vader to the planet. Vader order pursuit and says NOT to send out tie-fighters to destroy rebel ship because he SENSES something strange on board: Leia, echoing the unease he felt at their previous showdown. He doesn't want it destroyed and doesn't know why, so turns to focus on Obi-Wan. His crew repeatedly check: 'are you sure you don't want us to...' 'NO! He is MINE!' and he almost kills his commander.
Down on the planet, they fight. Vader, filled with rage, has Obi-Wan on the verge of death, but he can't kill him because he needs to know this secret. What is this feeling I am having? Why am I conflicted? Obi-Wan recovers, breaks his mask, leaves him critically injured, but when he is about to strike Vader down and spare the world of a tyrant, he sees Anakin's face and hesitates. Vader, blinded by pain, pumped with pain killers and endorphines, is crying, pleading for Obi-Wan to kill him and put him out of his misery. He's 50% genuine, but 50% twisted, laughing, almost joker-style, that killing him will drag Obi-Wan to the dark side and he can take his place by Palpatine's side; he can sense this fear in Obi-Wan. The clincher, is the vision Obi-Wan has been having about the conflict. It wasn't at the quarry, it wasn't here. It was on some kind of space station, and then, at that moment, he sees the end of it: himself, as an older man, sacrificing himself to inspire a young man to become the Jedi Master he was born to be and thus defeat the empire. It is his destiny. So Obi-Wan walks away. 'Goodbye, my brother. We will meet again, one last time.' Tearfully, he leave's Vader behind, who is screaming with rage.
Later, on his temple, Palpatine senses Vader has real doubts. Vader asks him about strange things he has been sensing. Palpatine (who thinks there is more to it) says it is his weakness and his loyalties to Obi-Wan. It is understandable, but you must put this behind you if you are to truly fulfil your destiny (referencing the kind of bond and interchanges they had in the early days, before Palpatine was revealed as the Sith lord). Palpatine has a deep, heart-to-heart with him about the security and safety the Empire is bringing to the galaxy and ultimately persuades him to focus on his duty and leave Obi-Wan in the past. Yes, you WILL meet again, and you will destroy him. The scene ends with a lingering shot of Vader looking out the window at the harsh, volcanic landscape, determined, but also conflicted. Then he storms out of the room and savagely kills some kind of native animal.
The writers simply needed to lay out on the table the things they wanted to happen (fights, showdowns, double-crosses, etc.) and then find plausible ways to achieve it, all the while keeping the characters true to who they are.
That's my take on it, anyway. Episode, 6/10. Entire show, 5/10.
Doctor Who: Flux: Chapter Five - Survivors of the Flux (2021)
A Disgrace
Wow, I wouldn't normally post a whine as I know a lot of people here still enjoy the show but, I'm sorry, that was comfortably the worst Doctor Who episode I have ever seen.
I actually said out loud to my family about the Doctor being a weeping angel: 'bet it's over in 5 seconds'. Sure enough, the stone crumbles away and she is back; an cliffhanger that was actually reasonably good completely undone in the first scene.
This is my issue with the show. Nothing is earned, nothing is shown. Everything is explained to us in intricate detail. If it was a book, it would be a series on bullet points, rather than an actual story. I mean, Yaz, scouse, and the professor have been SEARCHING THE WORLD for three years or something (can't remember what for) but rather than maybe have an entire episode showing the slog, the travel problems, visas, language, cultural issues, etc, we are just shown 3 scenes (a Mexican tomb, a Constantinople shop, and a Himalayan sanctuary) and the first lines out of the characters mouths are 'Wow, we've come half way around the world to find this' or 'three years we've been looking for this' or 'and here we are in the Himalayas with our last chance for finding the secret McGuffin thing'!!! The dialogue is execrable. The writers have NO INTEREST in showing us any personal ordeals, character developments, thoughtful expressions, panful silences, nuance, NOTHING. Characters exist solely to explain what is going on to the audience and move as quickly as possible to the next scene.
As for the whole arc about timeless children division, flux, etc.... So, Division poisoned the universe with the flux to stop the doctor because they were worried about the doctor exposing division???? Why not just capture the doctor in some kind of time trap or shot her / him repeatedly?!?!?! They just had her surrounded by weeping angels and they decided to bring her back to HQ (where I am sure the epically convenient Ood has been placed to help her save the day at the last minute) and talk to her about it. Just kill her. Just take the Tardis. No? No, okay, then let's just destroy one universe. But it's okay, it's not serious: we have a multiverse now, so we can just go anywhere, anytime, redo this, rewrite that...
This show bears ZERO comparison to one that brought us Listen / Heaven Sent / Blink / Father's Day, etc; far simpler stories with actual writing, subtly, character development, SHOWING the story, rather than telling it.
I'm sorry, but the end to this era can't come soon enough. Poor Jodie (great actress, terrible script and direction) is going to be unfairly burdened with the blame for this phase of the show by a lot of people when really it is 100% down to Chris Chibnall.
Doctor Who: Flux: Chapter One - The Halloween Apocalypse (2021)
A Hot Mess of Endless Expositional Dialogue
(Disclaimer - I really like Jodie Whittaker as an actress, and I loved Broadchurch)
It staggers me to see people giving this a 7/8/9, even a 10.
This matches Spyfall for sheer manic incoherence. A nonsense opening set piece with Yaz and The Doctor holding onto a floating... something upside down. Why? Why didn't the dog man just kill them if it wanted them dead (and he becomes a good guy later).
Then The Doctor is magically implanted with a vision of the latest Tim Shaw alien baddy (who admittedly looks pretty good, but can't match that with menace). Again, why? Because... the plot needed her too.
Then a Liverpool backstory, something with Sontarans, a random meeting with someone they'll meet later in their timeline (a cheap tactic when its done in such a throwaway manner, unlike Blink), a billion dog teddies 'invading' earth, and a planet-eating cloud.
Everything happens at a million miles an hour, virtually every line of dialogue is just exposition to make sure the audience know exactly what is going on and what the stakes are, with a few quirky mannerisms thrown in to try and keep it light.
The metaphor that keeps coming back to me for what Chibnall-era Doctor Who is a giant saucepan full of 10 different ice cream flavours, plus sprinkles, candy bars, lashings of caramel sauce, and extra sugar served with a ladle rather than just a tasty, well-conceived, perfectly-sized Magnum.
Honestly, if they just cut half off this crap out, focused on the Flux, and got a proper scriptwriter in that trusts the audience, then slowed it all way, way down, this could still be half-decent. At present, though, this is an absolute nadir.
Stowaway (2021)
Why so many bad reviews??
The low score and scathing reviews made me feel compelled to leave my own take on this movie, just as I did with the equally meditative and well made Midnight. This is a space drama, not a thriller or an action movie. The characters are well written, entirely believable and well acted. It's great to look at and feels very authentic from a scientific perspective (more than can be said for the similarly themed Away tv show). If you are looking for thoughtful, artful and intelligent drama, then I thoroughly recommend this. People looking for quick fire thrills and twists should look elsewhere.
The Midnight Sky (2020)
A beautiful meditative piece
There are some harsh reviews here. This is a lovely film, beautifully shot and wi deregulation directed. It's glacial, thoughtful and uplifting despite the ominous backdrop. Worth a look for anyone that likes their cinema imaginative and very human.
Infini (2015)
A vivid psychological horror
The first half is terrific with a dark and ominous setup. The second half lags a little and dwells on the relentless psychological descent of the key players. But the direction is punchy and stylish and the low profile cast very effective. An alternative underground sci-fi thriller.
The X Files: My Struggle III (2018)
The single worst episode of any TV show I have ever seen
I don't normally write reviews, just rate. Loved the first 9 seasons. There were some good episodes in season 10 too. This was just reprehensible. A 90 minute show compressed into 41 minutes. It was just condensed exposition with unrelenting music and laughable dialogue. I don't understand. I just don't...
The Walking Dead: How It's Gotta Be (2017)
I'm probably done with TWD now - SPOILERS
It's not that episode 8.8 was bad. It was just pointless and lifeless. TWD used to shock and really charge your emotions (as recently as Glenn's brutal murder), but the second half of season 7 and season 8 thus far have been a real disappointment.
I use the analogy these days that studios are only interested in attracting teen / young adults with individual notes, rather than a coherent song. It would be like an alien listening to Hey Jude by the Beatles and deciding to create their own song using the same components, just in a completely random order without any cohesion. The result would be, obviously, gibberish, but it seems to be enough to satisfy the vast majority who watch this show and rated this episode a 10.
So as long as certain things happen in certain scenes, that's all that matters. There's no need for a compelling narrative to stitch them all together: just churn out the scenes. Engage the randomizer - explosion, car chase, fist fight, gun fight, angry confrontation, tense standoff, Negan cussing and bobbing around the place.
Given this was a mid-season finale though, they had to add a poignant casualty to the mix to really hit it home. Cue the death of Carl in what was probably one of Chandler Riggs better moments, albeit working with confused, conflicting material.
TWD has become nothing more than an occasionally passable way to spend 45 minutes, but that is all. As such, I simply think I need to move on to other shows that actually put in more effort and don't rely on teen-fueled faux rebellion cool to keep them afloat.
Like The Blacklist, which I stopped watching due to the tired, contrived, exposition-heavy engineered episode structure, TWD has become product and needs to be treated accordingly.
Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice (2016)
Not really a movie, just a collection of video game cut-scenes
It baffles me how a studio can pump so much money into a particular project and then just spray it up the wall. Ben Affleck as Batman / Bruce Wayne plus Jeremy Irons are really the only decent things in this (Lawrence Fishburne as Perry White is good too, in the limited screen time he gets).
I can give it a mark for some interesting concepts on holding superheroes accountable and showing the devastation that is left behind, but then they are only given lip service.
The special effects are just laughable in places. In the the climatic showdown, there's not a shred of tension to be felt as CGI characters fly all over the place like a kids cartoon.
Back in the day movies actually used to start out with a story and then a script. It didn't matter how big the villain was or how much destruction took place, if you built the characters up, wrote them well and wound the stakes up, it could make for exciting movies, irrespective of how good or bad the special effects were. The first two Christopher Reeve Superman movies (even, I think, number III as well) generated more thrills throughout at the merest fraction of a budget.
Honestly, I think this maybe ties with Superman IV as the worst Superman movie (Man of Steel is only marginally better), and it's probably also level pegging with Batman and Robin as the worst movie to feature Batman.
I would still be very interested to see the standalone Batman movie with Ben Affleck as he did a very good job with a poor script and poor story to make for a believable character.
This won't stop the Justice League movement continuing and I'm sure this will turn out to be a money-making franchise for DC, but they are going to need to make far better movies if they want to take a place in movie history for the right reasons.
In terms of big screen entertainment, this is just a very poorly put together movie (and I use the term movie loosely) and forgettable in so many ways (music, scenes, performances, script, effects).
This one is for die-hard DC & comic book fans only.
CSI: Miami: Bolt Action (2009)
The clincher
This was actually the show that made me lose all interest in the series. A fanciful, nonsensical plot, wooden acting and none of the staples that make CSI Miami actually watchable sometimes. Don't get me wrong; I like DC As HC, but his is a character in need of a decent television show. The makers of the show assume all viewers are dumb with 3 second memories. They also have little faith that their plot or dialog are interesting enough to capture the audience, so they throw in a million lens flares, out-of focus shots, cameras passing windows and glass cabinets, and by-the-numbers show pacing.
It's a real shame, because my recollection of the early years is that it was a good show and DC actually had some stuff to do, rather than just turn up, phone-in some lines and do the sunglasses thing.
I am sure plenty of people will disagree, but this has turned me off the show for now. I await the return of the original series to Australian TV.
Doom (2005)
This film should not have been called DooM
Echoing what others have said, this film should not have been called DooM. It had nothing to do with the original game in tone or spirit. I can't comment on it's similarities to Doom 3 as I have not played it, but Doom was a classic filled with stunning imagery: skin stretched across walls, rivers of blood, Greek columns and temples, amazing technology... None of it featured in the film. This was basically a sub-standard retread of Aliens (which WAS a great film) with some poorly defined characters, predictable deaths, under-developed sets (when in doubt, just turn the lights down), few thrills or shocks and a boring final conflict. Only Karl Urban came away with merit points for a reasonably affecting performance (The Rock started off okay, and I like the guy, but his descent into psychosis was unconvincing and unexplained). To have done DooM justice would have needed a far, far larger budget ($ 100+ Million?), with a better script, better actors, an actual story (intead of an out-of-date and tired man-messes-with-science parable), and a talented, visionary director who could capture the dark, arcane vision of hell. Very, very disappointing. ID sold out. This should have been called 'Demons of Mars' or something and then people like me who loved the computer game wouldn't have wasted their money in the hope that there was something worth watching here!