ray-280 Reviews

The Middle (2009–2018)

Eden Sher better never quit her day job

[9/10 · 22 May 2014]

"The Middle," which -- wink-wink -- is set in Indiana (middle America), and which airs in the middle of the week on Wednesday nights, is about an average American suburban family where the parents are -- surprise! -- level-headed, normal, rational, and politically moderate. The show certainly doesn't lack an identity crisis, yet it is hardly a work of genius, beyond the decision to cast Eden Sher as Sue Heck, the (of course) middle child, likely for whom the show is named. Without Heck, even the pilot doesn't get picked up; with it, you have one of the most enjoyable shows in the history of primetime.

ABC could easily have resurrected The Brady Bunch, casting Sher as Jan, and accomplished the same result, but the original character of Sue Heck is like Jan Brady without the confines of The Brady Bunch's rich history. Jan was a relatively normal middle child, yet her angst never rang true. As I said somewhere else, Sue Heck makes Jan Brady look like Marcia Brady. I have never seen an actor so totally take over a character the way Sher has done with Sue; she makes each new episode of this otherwise-mediocre show and makes it Emmy-worthy. Sher's next stop is the film world, if she wants it, where fans will directly pay her salary, a much higher bar to clear than that of the sponsors, and why so many television actors fail in film.

Sue's siblings, Brick and Axl, are typical television tripe, terribly predictable, and not very enjoyable to watch. The alleged leads, Neil Flynn and Patricia Heaton, will never rewrite any acting textbooks, but the same cannot be said of Eden Sher. Watching Sue Heck on screen each week is the highlight of my week, and to those who say I must have no life if that is the case, I would that anyone who doesn't mark their calendars to watch her is the one in need of better recreational activities.

Sue Heck is what you hope to find when a new series (or one you just started watching) debuts. I found "The Middle" because Hulu rotated it after the show I had intended to watch was finished. After a single episode, I was completely hooked on this incredibly deep, layered, nuanced character, played by an actress who leave writers wishing everyone could make them look so good. At some point, Sher will be called upon to prove that she didn't luck out with Sue, or just happen to be a perfect fit, but i suspect she'll be up to the task. She's truly brilliant.

Hart of Dixie (2011–2015)

Doctor, Doctor, Give Me The News.....

[9/10 · 21 May 2014]

As a paralegal from the north who wound up working at a divorce, criminal-defense, and bankruptcy firm in Albany, GA for four months, I can relate to this show, which serves up a slice of upscale southern living in generous, stereotypical, yet delicious heaps.

The flash-mob scene from the second season (from which the title of this review is taken) is a microcosm of this series, a pelasant vehicle for capturing one of the most beautiful women who have ever lived, at her prime, in a show that takes great pains to play to its strenghts, while getting out of its own way. Hart of Dixie understands its purpose and mission, and always keeps to task. It's a great watch. The plot and actual show mean very little. In fact, if they eliminted the audio from a show, I bet the ratings would not fall.

The 9-star rating is for female lead Rachel Bison's incredible body and beauty. Many women think being thin and not deformed is enough to attract men, but women like Rachel Bison -- and Heidi Mueller, or Brittany Underwood, to name two others -- are just a cut above physically, and Bilson is a cut above every woman. Perfect body, perfect features, perfect skin, incredibly hypnotic eyes, and when her character is in heat, the network censors likely blush for a moment. The smartest thing the producers did was to put Rach3el and her body front and center, with generous camera shots, especially the closeups when she's in love with Wade or George.

As for the show, Dr. Zoe Hart (Rachel Bilson) is one of the most unconvincing characters in the history of television, but this can be excused because it's just a plot device. The true star of the show is Dixie itself, and what it is like for a "Yankee" to find themselves living and working among the rednecks. The characters are extremely authentic, and the show excellently conveys the social inclusion and toloerance of individual quirks I have never found in the north. I would say that real life has a few more Meatballs and fweer Wades and Georges, but that wouldn't maqke for as good a show.

With that said, the plot and episodes don't matter if you're male. You'll start watching, and awaken from your trance a half-hour later with the incredibly sexy essence of Rachel Bilson in your brain. Whoever figured out that just letting the cameras roll while trained on her as much as possible, with the best cinematography possible, was the key to a hit series, was an absolute genius. The woman is literally a walking work of art.

Death Clique (2014 TV Movie)

Guilty

[1/10 · 21 May 2014]

In 2012, Skylar Neese was murdered by two of her friends; in 2014, her story was murdered by Hollywood. Some films are so bad they are good; this one is so bad it gives Below Utopia a run for its money.

My ongoing prayer that Lexi Ainsworth won't make me look stupid by making my prediction of an Oscar for her within a decade or so just took a slight hit, but through no fault of her own. The fate of her character in the film appears a metaphor for the actress's true opinion of the material. Given absolutely atrocious writing, and a nearly-as-atrocious supporting cast, she did her best to save it, but the patient died anyway. In this film, Lexi is like the slow kid stuck at the doorbell after her friends rang it and ran way, leaving her to account for the sins of her peers.

Sara Cowan (Lexi), Jade (Brittany Underwood), and new-girl Ashley (Tiina Ivle) form the titular clique, with one meeting the titular fate. The unattractive Ivlev chews the scenery as if she'd smoked six joints on an empty stomach on her way to an all-you-can-eat buffet. Her impact on the film is that of a nuclear weapon. The exceptionally hot Brittany Underwood reveals that she is a much stronger television actress who comes much more into her own with a long-term role. Her take on Jade seems to be that of "submissive lesbian stoner." As Sara, Lexi mails it in, but does so with first-class postage for a script she could easily have performed in her sleep. The best she could give is what she gave: an absence of even minor mistakes. Having seen both Underwood and Lexi on soaps for years, I know what each are capable of. The emotional range she displayed in the scene she turned in on GH when Mac killed Warren could have won film awards. With compelling material, and a competent cast, she'll shine, but this film has neither.

Ideally, a world-class actress should be able to sit and wait for that killer script, but in the real world the bills have to be paid, and films like this have their place in the profitable true-crime niche, where the confines of the story tend to suffocate an actor's ability to take over a film. Rarely has this been made more apparent to me than here.

The Good Wife (2009–2016)

A Paralegal Reviews "The Good Wife"

[8/10 · 20 May 2014]

Lockhart Gardner Canning? They hired me six times, fired me three, and I quit the other three. Typical big-city, high-powered firm. First time I was a temp for David Lee, who fired me the first day because I'm a guy, but then Diane and Alicia hired me back just to get under David's skin. I stayed until midnight once to help them win a big case, and then David hired me back to prevent a wealthy female divorce client from firing him.

Will always kept his distance from me, but was polite because he didn't want to seem jealous to Alicia, who thought I was the best paralegal she ever had. Peter couldn't stand me because of Alicia but didn't want to seem sexist to his kids. Whenever I ran into him we'd chat and he'd ask about Alicia, remind me he was the governor (so what?), and try to figure out if Alicia and I had ever slept together (we hadn't, but one night we went for drinks on the way home after winning a case and something could have happened). KIalinda? Don't get me started. We were stuck waiting for an e-mail for two hours one night and got into it about sex, men, women, and power. Lots of sexual aggression but neither of us would ever settle for the other.

Canning? Strictly business, pays well, respects support staff, but they all do pretty much. He plays to win and plays rough but plays fair, expecting everyone else to do the same. Totally nice guy outside of work but I did have to turn down his wife. Stopped working with Alicia when she opened her new firm because it's out of the way and in a building I don't trust, but she's arranging for me to telecommute. I like working in this field because the focus is on skill, we all work for the system, and everyone is smart. That they look good and are freaky is just a bonus.

They're doing what? A show about my former employer? No one would believe it. I hope they do it in a way that shows how much smarter, cooler, sexier, sharper, more professional, and better-dressed anyone who works at a law firm is relative to the average person. The audience of people who would live vicariously through the firm if they knew what really went on could be pretty big.

There's also this one wmoan I temped for who acts completely crazy but it's all an act. Someone left a few letters off her first name on her birth certificate. Most brilliant boss I've ever had.

Diamond on Vinyl (2013)

What every film should be. Sonja Kinski's breakthrough performance.

[8/10 · 11 October 2013]

NOTE: watch this film THREE times if you want to understand it, or pay very close attention the first.

It would have been very easy to rate this film a perfect 10, and IU could have justified this, but perfection is such a lofty height that I don't know if I'd rate any film that good (maybe I have in my many other reviews). I came cross this film by accident, with absolutely no preconceived notions about its content, but was in a situation where I wouldn't avoid watching it. I had never heard of anyone associated with the film; I call it "breakthrough" for Kinski, the daughter of 1980s tabloid darling Nastasssj. With a conservative critical eye, however, I can't rate this film less than an 8, which, to me, makes it an excellent film.

This is a low-budget indie, so if you're expecting plush cinematography and special-effects, you're in the wrong place. This character- and dialogue-driven film is everything not only an indie film, but any film, should be: the writer's clear vision is eloquently put forth on film, in a format that makes the audience come to the artist, rather than having the artist pander to the audience. Henry (Brian McGuire) is terribly unsympathetic, neurotic, obsessive-compulsive, yet has learned to navigate the world around him by using these traits to his advantage, as evidenced by the love triangle he pivots. The film begins with his fiancé, Beth (Nina Millin), kicking him out of their home because she found a recording of them having sex. Her conflict for the remainder of the film is whether or not to accept this quirk of her otherwise good man.

While Beth is tied up with her conflict, Charlotte ("Charlie") (Sonja Kinski), steals not only her man's attention, but the entire film, turning it pretty much into a one-woman show. The film won Best Ensemble at the DFFA, yet Kinski so badly outclasses a decent supporting case that I have to view the two separately. Her character is what I'd always imagined a "Suicide Girl" to be like, and there are vague references to websites in that vain. Like the Suicidce Girls, Charlie is edgy, and sexually adventurous, but never distasteful or crude. Her tolerance of, and to-one-the-water participation in, adult industry in general make this clear. The film "stars" Brian McGuire but the viewer would have a hard time believing this by the end of the film.

Of the supporting characters, Kate (Jessica Golden) is barely memorable, as are the actors who play Jason, Brian, Rose, Ben, and everyone except for George (Jeff Doucette), who gives a good accounting of himself as a micro-celebrity meeting his biggest fan (I can relate to that one!). To be fair, the "ensemble" was not giving much to chew on, since the focus of the film is, in order, Charlie's self-actualization, Henry's self-acceptance, and how Beth assimilates multiple reality-checks. Refreshingly,the film is devoid of the BANAL subplots which infect big-budget films. This film almost works better in stripped-down form. I shudder to think what brand-name actors and directors would have done to this marvelous concept.

The two points I deducted were for lack of exploration of why Beth and Henry got together, why Charlie is the way she is, or what she has learned from becoming what she will be, and the lack of a strong supporting cast with strong scripting to round out the film. These are minor against the film's many incredible positives, and I'm very glad I watched it. While thought-provoking, it is more entertaining, and anyone who wants to know why Sonja Kinski may get the critical acclaim and Oscar which escaped her mother need look no farther than this film. You can be sure the A-list producers and directors now have her firmly on their radar. Look for some incredible work from her in the next decade.

So This Is Christmas (2013)

Catch a rising star...and a decent film

[8/10 · 3 October 2013]

I've been a fan of Eric "King of the B-movies" Roberts ever since I caught The Ambulance and Hit-man's Run on cable in the 1990s, and I've been a fan of General hospital since 1984. I never really understood the persistent appeal of soaps and B-movies until Alexandra Danielle "Lexi" Ainsworth graced my television set with ten minutes or more of screen time a day as mafia brat Kristina Corinthos, when the lightbulb went off: like minor-league baseball, soaps and B-movies offer the chance to watch greatness in the making, literally to catch a rising star before the world does, in generous doses. Ainsworth, offered this role within seconds of hanging up the phone after being told she was fired from General Hospital because they wanted an older, "hotter" Kristina as their romantic lead – only to decline a return to the role when GH realized the error of its ways with her replacement – entered this film like a batter who tore up the minors with a .427 batting average now facing big-league pitching. How would she fare? This fan's opinion of her work was strong enough for me to gamble $14.98 on the answer.

For Ainsworth, my standards were much higher than for the film. Any holiday film is going to be restricted by the parameters of the genre. For the actress, however, I was looking for signs of whether or not she could carry a film, and if she could score points for more than just avoiding the garden-variety acting mistakes which were absent in her performances on General Hospital, like in the scenes where she flourished, either by staring down an intimidating Bruce Weitz without saying a word, or by humbling soap vet Maurice Benard at the tender age of sixteen. Where other actresses would have cried, screamed, yelled, and moved their extremities like traffic cops, Ainsworth's instinctive understanding of when to let the scene do the talking strongly suggested she could handle this step up in class like a champion. My bigger question was whether director Richard Foster, and the writers, could handle her. On whole, I would say she gave the better accounting of herself.

This is a good, but not a great film. It is worth the purchase price, and will definitely be worth the time spent watching should it land on cable or Netflix, if only for Ainsworth's performance alone. In the film, eighteen year-old Ashley Lane (Ainsworth) is put in the position of media-res narrator, which allows her to showcase her talents. Within minutes, we are shown where the film winds up, leaving the question not what will happen, but why, who will be involved, and how. Casino was the textbook film on how to pull this off, and this film does so adequately. Fans who were wondering if Eric Roberts and Vivica A. Fox could sing will get their answer.

The film's saving grace, if one pardons the pun, is the director's astute use of third-billed Ainsworth, clearly the star of the film, with screen time to match. The lesser talents in the cast are relegated in direct proportion to their ability, except for Roberts, who is seriously underutilized. Fox gives a good accounting as the mother, but the blended family is more of a gratuitous political statement, as if to say we've come so far against racism that no one bats an eye at a racially mixed family. The message is useful, but not really central to the film. What is central is Ashley's journey of self-discovery, played flawlessly by Ainsworth, to the point where, by the end of the film, it Is rather clear she has outstripped the writing, and does not just belong in the majors, but needs to be traded to a championship team, or to have one built around her.

The other actors in the film are competent, with Danielle Vega (Angelina) giving an exceptional performance in a limited supporting role. Her physical resemblance to Ainsworth is a bit confusing, so pay attention; absent Ainsworth, she could have played the lead more than adequately, and her scenes were among the best of the film. Glee's Titus Makin (Jason) shows competence, but not greatness, while Fox and Roberts are not given enough to do until near the end. Bryan Massey (Mac) plays the "white Magical Negro," who assist the lead in her journey of self-discovery, a job on which the writers fell down a peg or two. Justin Avery (Jon) plays the romantic fodder, but is otherwise superfluous and stereotypical. Ainsworth is left stranded by the writing, not because the film is poorly written, but because of her amazing talent. There is only so much one can do with a film like this.

Very early on in the film, Ainsworth mows down the "movie star" checklist: flawless body language and voice tone, the ability to slip into character convincingly, a rare level of attention to detail, exceptional range which exceeded the writing, and a sexuality which, while not the typical "bombshell" variety, would leave one hard-pressed to find a man who would reject her, and which, even while front-and-center, is never gratuitous or crude. Surround her with top-shelf talent, and she can and will go anywhere in film, or in series television; perhaps ABC will reconsider Ainsworth and Jennifer Beals's pilot "Westside" on which they foolishly passed.

For all its many good points, the film needed a stronger compass, particularly with regard to what makes Ashley tick, and why she transformed into a good girl without much resistance, but these are minor plot issues that detract very little from an excellent performance in a decent film, one which could have ruined my afternoon off, leaving me feeling like I wasted my $14.98, but which definitely did not. I highly recommend this film. My primary question was answered: Lexi Ainsworth is more than capable of carrying a film. I look forward to her future work.

The Cutting Edge: Fire & Ice (2010 TV Movie)

We Have A New Female Superstar

[23 May 2010]

Perhaps the worst-kept secret in Hollywood at this point is the incredible talent that is Los Angeles native Francia Raisa, currently of The Secret Life Of The American Teenager. She reminds me of an unbeaten racehorse who keeps winning, even as it moves up in class. The more they give her to work with, and the brighter they shine the light upon her, the better she performs. She is developing so fast as an actress that a future Oscar is likely, once she gets a script worthy of that level of performance. Sadly, this film, like its predecessor (CE3), doesn't rise to that level, but she manages to make a good film out of mediocre film with yet another flawless performance. Raisa is back as Alex Delgado, with a new "pinwheel" cast designed to highlight her talents, much as in CE2, with Christy Romano. Her supporting cast is much stronger, with numerous actors likely to become household names as well, most notably Brendan Fehr, who has been bouncing around television, most notably the CSI franchise, for a while. His talents allowed Raisa to shine much more than Matt Lanter in CE3. The plot is standard by now: love-hate relationship between longshot pairs figure skaters complicates existing obstacles to glory. It worked so well in 1992 that ABC Family has taken to making three sequels, each with a slightly different angle. As I said in my review of the first film, surprise is not the goal here, but romance, although this film is a bit lacking in that department. By now, fans of this franchise have embraced its predictability, instead focusing on the cast, the acting, the plagiarism from the original(s), and how the story will once again be retold. This film could have done well even as a standalone, big-budget, feature film. Raisa is going to be out of challenges soon enough, and should wait patiently for the "role of a lifetime," the one that will let her show the less perceptive folks in the world know she's one of the best (and hottest) actresses of this generation. She is everything Jennifer Lopez wishes she were, but never became, and then some.

Jennifer's Body (2009)

Megan Fox Is STILL The Second Sexiest Woman On Earth

[5/10 · 21 October 2009]

Whither Megan Fox? My "secret" got out, and I feel like a guy who told the paper about his favorite lunch spot, only to have them run an article that drove so much business there that I can't even get a seat at my old table. FHM and Maxim may have only gotten a clue this year, but they aren't the only two mags with "Top 100" lists.

In 2005, I compiled my own little list, and listed the Megan Fox that Michael Bay thought "no one had ever heard of" as #2 on my list of "Top 100 Sexiest Famous Women In America," which I published on my website. This was based on her super-sexy, and super-SMART performance in Confessions Of A Teenage Drama Queen. That the role left an impression on no one else didn't matter; I'm a guy, and know world-class sexy when I see it. Did Megan Fox CARE that I ranked here there? Of course not. She did, however, hit up one of the big magazines' hot-100 parties, as a reward for their being three years behind the internet, and a list created specifically to "scoop" the "big lists." Mission accomplished on all counts.

Fast-forward to now, and EVERYONE sees what I saw in 2005. Was Megan Fox UGLY back then? No. Then why was she OFF these lists entirely? The media just brainwashes men into confusing fame with being hot, and now she has both, so it's easier to see her physical supremacy. I can't even fantasize about her anymore without feeling like the whole world is watching. Tsk. For those who care, in 2005 the woman I ranked at #1 was Chrishell Stausse, a newcomer to All My Children who is still going strong, and who is about as sexy as Fox, but without the fame (yet). I figure that scoop is forthcoming around 2012.

This is relevant to Jennifer's Body because Megan Fox is still the *second* sexiest "famous" woman in America, and now she has made the *second* sexiest horror film ever. Like Fox herself was in 2005, an unknown talent, in an unknown internet film, trumped this big-studio attempt at an "abreactive mind-control" horror film, in every category.

The film is called "hypnothings." It can be found on the internet, from a producer named Kismet. It contains genuine hypnosis, of an extremely sexy nature, with the lead actress using the exact "bambi" voice that Fox spoke of using for her character, only to produce a much stronger (actual hypnosis) reaction in the viewer, if the viewer chooses to go under. The actress from hypnothings, Marta McGonagle (now a rising star of her own), is hotter than Megan Fox. Her voice is sexier than Megan Fox, and she has even more of a "supernatural power" over men, like the one Fox brags of. McGonagle is superior to Fox in every way, shape and form, but the two of them are superior to the rest of the world, by a much larger margin. Hypnothings (if you go under to it) is way superior to Jennifer's Body (which is of the "implied" nature that Hollywood loves to mail it in with) is less cerebral, with less of an impact on the viewer. The plots are not identical, but the psychological space in which the lead actress took herself in each film, is.

That McGonagle languishes in obscurity, while Fox is "#1 sexy" is a crime against nature. Put her in ANY role claimed by Fox, and she would do just as well, if not better. She's just SEXIER, but, like Fox in 2005, unless she's on the Big Media radar, the public will not become aware of her, and that's sad. Everything Megan Fox wishes she were, Marta McGonagle already IS, just like Fox was as hot, if not hotter, back in 2005, than she is now. Fox also thinks she is "controversial," or "cutting edge," but by internet standards, she has mainstreamed herself into a lame joke by comparison, one in which she has become her own punch line. Fox herself is too busy for much of an internet presence, or maybe she knows that she's not cut out for this jungle, where the pay is lower, the hours are longer, the work is more true to art than business, and where "implied sexy" no longer cuts it.

If Fox thinks her "deadly Bambi" voice is seductively deadly, she should check out a copy of Hypnothings sometime. McGonagle already ran for a touchdown with that ball, while Fox barely made it to the first-down market. Here you have two actresses, with essentially the same looks, doing essentially the same things, and the same fame/income imbalance that plagues the entertainment industry as a whole, and will continue to do so until Hollywood is finally done spending yesterday's money, and goes broke, forcing its "A-list" to begin to seek work out here.

The Cutting Edge: Going for the Gold (2006 Video)

Christy Carlson Romano Skates For A-List Gold

[9/10 · 15 August 2009]

"Cutting Edge 2: Going For The Gold" is technically a sequel to The Cutting Edge (1992), but is constructed as an A-list audition vehicle for child prodigy, and Disney phenom, Christy Carlson Romano, one she passes with flying colors. Look for one or more starring roles in big-budget films from her in the next few years. Romano brings a level of talent, professionalism, and depth to this film that rivals Jackie Dorsey's (Romano) dominance over her skating rivals. Via Jackie, Romano completely dominates the film, the center of a circle, with all supporting characters equidistant along the circumference. The producers elected to use the long-overdue, and eagerly anticipated, sequel to the 1992 classic, one of the most underrated romantic comedies of all time as a showcase for Romano, to answer the question of whether or not she can carry a film as an adult. She most definitely can. She is so methodically proficient it makes everyone else's competent work look poor. This film was likely chosen as the vehicle because Romano's character is new, allowing her to build it from scratch.

Romano's first hurdle was to evolve Kate (Stephanie Kramer) and Doug Dorsey's (Scott Thompson Baker) bloodline, and she proved an excellent student of the film's history. Jackie has Kate's beauty, grace, and refinement, strengthened by Doug's physical strength and hockey-player temperament. Her total fleshing out of Jackie makes it easy to assemble a "pinwheel" cast that does little more than play off her, with each character symbolized by its portrayer.

Through a picture of Doug and Kate on the podium, we learn they medaled in 1992. We also learn that Doug and Kate now live in perfect, retired harmony, content to live vicariously through their daughter's intensity. Their vow not to push Jackie into figure-skating resulted in Jackie pushing herself harder than even her grandfather had pushed Kate. Instead of skating tips, a ticket to Los Angeles and a swiped pair of skates induce a much-needed vacation, as Jackie was pushing herself too much in recovery from a broken leg that converted her into a pairs skater who couldn't find a partner. Fans of the original film know that a fish-out-of-water will stumble into the sport, and Jackie's heart, and that the hardest trick the talented pair will have to learn is conquering its emotions. Enter extreme skater and slacker extraordinaire, Alex Harrison (newcomer Ross Thomas), a brief love interest upon meeting Jackie on the beach.

This film disposes of the "talent question" quickly, by depicting Alex as a world-class skating acrobat, whose only barrier to figure-skating glory is motivation, and the ability to conform to a structured environment. We see tricks that make it very clear that once he "figures" out ice skates, the rest will come quickly, and naturally. A dynasty like the Dorseys stays on top by keeping an open mind, as Kate did when Alex showed up after three months of learning the basics. While all Jackie saw was red, Kate saw a "natural" with "no bad habits" that she could whip into Olympic shape, if only she could get him on the same page as her daughter, while remaining well aware of how much Alex is like Doug.

Like Harrison, Thomas is more or less along for the ride, present primarily to showcase Romano's acting talents, while a bit raw, and out of his creative element. Like Jackie does with Alex, Romano brings out the best in Thomas, going out of her way to make him better, and to allow him to make her better. Both Alex and Thomas are vital to the plot, but Christy and Jackie are always in charge.

Unfortunately, once you move past the four leads, the film falls apart. The peripheral cast, particularly the skaters, are well portrayed, with each given a bit of an ice showcase, rather than serving as mere elimination fodder for the leads, who are confident throughout the film that victory is imminent. This film would offer no miracles, no Pamchenko, and no need for anything but Jackie to keep her emotions in check, and Alex to continue to thrive in his newly structured environment, one he sought out because, as he said, he likes to challenge himself and work hard. The skating scenes have the lead pair repeatedly playing off each other's talent in a way that allows them to dominate the sport, as long as they remain focused on the skating, rather than the growing, alternating attraction they alternately deny. Kim Kindrick turns in a forgettable performance as Heidi, who takes over the "role" of Hale from the original.

The only area where Romano is not convincing is not her fault: Jackie is just not BUILT like a figure-skater, and definitely not one who can do triples. Think "Tonya Harding" for the proper athletic build. Someone like Shawn Johnson (the gymnast) would have been a much more convincing lead. Romano is too lanky for this film, but her acting gets her a pass.

The director did a horrible job with continuity, such as when Doug claims to have skated in a playoff game, despite his career ending as an amateur, or where Jackie says Alex is "engaged" before he announces it. Her body language and chemistry with Thomas were stellar, enough to earn this film a place in the series. Those who wish to trash this film as a lousy sequel do not understand its purpose, and haven't seen the third installment, which proves that a lot more could have gone wrong with this surprisingly decent film.

Romano has proved that she can drive even a broken-down script. It's time to give her a Jaguar and let her rip apart the speedway. The right role could easily land her an Oscar. Like Jackie, she's bank.

Speed (1994)

The best picture of 1994

[10/10 · 25 April 2008]

The film has not a single flaw, and a minimum of physics-defying stunts necessary to make the action film work. The bus is diverted to a place where it can (temporarily) survive, and the few leaps of faith (and more yards than a human can leap) are minimalistic plot devices, nothing more. This film is about the people caught in a suspenseful, yet survivable, crisis. This firlm is a THRILLER that demolishes its peers from its own era and rivals that of any era, and even that quaint little British serial about some over-the-top secret agent spty guy.

Keanu Reeves (Jack "I put the SWAT in SWAT" Traven, LAPD SWAT) and Sandra Bullock (Annie Porter) could Just as easily have been Gable and Hepburn. Reeves is more cartoonish, but carries his "supporting" role well. The clear star of the film is Sandra Bullock, the grouchy, half-awake commuter grunt thrust behind the wheel of a bus that is rigged to explode if it slows down below 50 mph. Hitchcock would have been proud of the suspense, and special effects worthy of evolving his cro-duster scene from that era.

While a complete film in the true sense of the word, the story never strays from its title premise. The desperation attempts to survive could fail at any time, and the passengers not only know this, but half of them seem to expect it, though they try as they can to survive. This film brought us an insider's video of those scenes we usually only read about or watch on the news, and gave us an oddball supporting cast of stereotypical LA and tourist types that made us feel like we were on the bus right with them, wishing the crisis was over so we could get to wherever we were going, and do what we were doing, without being bothered by high-level criminals using us as a pawn, and could they please get us off this damn bus? What every action film tries to be, and rarely is. Die Hard on a bus.

Blades of Glory (2007)

"The Cutting Edge" as farcical dark comedy

[9/10 · 5 April 2008]

If you haven't seen The Cutting Edge (a great film and probably the best figure-skating film of all time), or are not a professional figure skater (or someone close to one), you'll miss a lot of subtle humor in this film. As it says in the trivia section, the "Iron Lotus" trick in the film was based on the Pamchencko from The Cutting Edge, and is in fact the same trick. This parody doesn't stop there, however, as I felt like I was watching an alternate-universe version of The Cutting Edge, written by someone with a penchant for sick-comedy.

What makes this parody work is that it parodies both the sport and its inspiration film equally. The bluerint for the two films is almost identical: prima-donna skater (John Heder as Jimmy/"Kate") suffers bad break at the same olympics as nuts-and-bolts skater (Will Farrell as Chazz Michael Michaels/"Doug"). Jimmy's failure causes his overbearing "father" to disown him, but then, a partner is finally found for the pairs, while Jimmy's crazy coach (Craig T. Nelson as Coach/"Pamchenko") nurses along the love-hate relationship between the two protagonists against an evil pair of sport royalty (the von Waldenbergs/"Peckarovskis").

As in The Cutting Edge, the skaters are tempted to sleep with the enemy, in this case "Katie" von Waldenberg, the sister of the rival team. An evil plot is hatched (this time from the opponents rather than the judges) to keep the leads off the medal podium, and part of stopping the plot is Coach's infamous "iron lotus" move, which in this movie had been tried once before, with much more predictable and hilarious results. A subtle beauty of this film is that you realize just how much this is based on The Cutting Edge only after you see the iron lotus.

Whoever wrote this film either really loves or really hates figure skating, probably a bit of both, but also left no stone unturned int parodying a sport that needs to be parodied, and a film that was way better than the critics ever realized. I would love to have been in the room when D.b. Sweeney and Moira Kelly were watching this film. My guess is they wouldn't have stopped laughing once.

What is perhaps most amazing to me is that while I activeily dislike almost every actor in this film, each of them stayed true to the material, allowed it to be the star, nad was bearable in their "supporting" role. So was the film.

Mr. Baseball (1992)

This film stands the test of time for the very reasons it was overlooked

[10/10 · 18 February 2008]

Redo the Oscars from 1992, and this film might get nominated, or even win. It was SO good at capturing its era and dual cultures that it belongs in American and Japanese time capsules. If you wanted to know what living here or there was like back then, this film will show you. As an American, you'll feel like you tagged along for an extended Japanese vacation, and by the end of the film, you'll be a die-hard Dragons fan, as you accept the injection of Japanese tradition and culture into their baseball, much as we have done with our culture in our own game.

Jack Elliot (Tom Selleck) is a slumping, aging Detroit Tigers' slugger who is traded to the Dragons, perennial runners-up to the dynastic Yomuri Giants, Japan's answer to the Yankees. The Giants are admired for their success, yet that success also has everyone wanting to surpass them, something which is rarely done. The Dragons' manager recruits Jack as the final piece of the pennant-winning puzzle, and we're left with what could have been Gung Ho on a baseball field, but instead was much more.

The casting was outstanding: Selleck proved that with a good script and a character that suits him, he can carry a film as well as he did his television show, and the Japanese cast was equally good, down to Mr. Takagi from Die Hard back as the image-conscious owner. The other actors, including the one who plays the love interest (also the manager's daughter), strong and independent yet simultaneously a believer in Japanese traditions, beyond what was forced on her. She is a proper and supportive girlfriend for Jack. Even her father never tells her not to see him, almost sympathizing with Jack for what he endures from her, and a bit relieved he at least knows the man she has chosen to love.

The baseball scenes are great, bolstered immensely by a pre-fame Dennis Haysbert as another American ex-patriate and Jack's western mentor. The usual fish-out-of-water elements are there, and you can almost feel yourself stumbling right along with Jack to fit into a country that doesn't speak our language, and doesn't practice our ways, yet copies everything we do, including our national pastime. one of the funnier scenes occurs when Jack, clutching a magazine, informs his manager that he has learned of the tradition in Japan where you can get drunk and tell off your boss, and it can't be used against you, and exercises that right very humorously. The plots and subplots are tied up neatly at the end, but not too neatly, and nothing concludes unrealistically.

To call this a comedy is misguided: it's a pure comedy-drama, or even a drama with good humor. The plot is too deep to dismiss it the way it was by critics as an actor out of his league trying to carry a lightweight film. The situations were amusing, but in their place against a far more serious, profound, and precisely detailed backdrop that results in one of the best films I've ever seen. The baseball cinematography rivals that of For Love Of The Game, for realism.

Some say the film is about baseball, or about Japan, but more than anything it seems to be about the workplace, and how people arrive at work from totally different origins, with different agendas, and somehow have to put their differences aside for the good of the company, or the team.

A truly great film that never should have had to apologize for itself the way it did when it was in theaters.

Snakes on a Plane (2006)

This generation's "Towering Inferno"

[10/10 · 24 October 2007]

The "10" rating is for this moving doing EXACTLY what it sets out to do, and never once straying from its mission. You get, as the title says, snakes on a plane. Lots of them. Poisonous too! To top it off, the drug lord who is trying to kill the federal witness that Agent Neville Flynn (Samuel L. Jackson) is charged with protecting.

The supporting cast is rather thin, because Jackson was a surprise lead who asked the director to be in the film, saying in interviews that this is the type of movie he always wanted to see on Saturday afternoons as a kid. A few studio execs had returned from a three-martini lunch, and, as is apparently custom in Hollywood, threw out some wild ideas in a meeting; one of them was to put killer snakes on a plane.

My main problem with this movie is not with its plot, but its excessive use of CGI. Producers and directors are in love with CGI, even though its quality will always be inferior to using the real thing. While one can get away with CGI for convenience, such as with a car crash that is not central to the plot, the use of obviously fake "snakes" (apparently 25 of them were real but 400 were not) definitely detracts. Creative filming and judicious use of close-ups on the snakes would have led to a far richer film experience. On the other hand, the graphics have a bit of an Ed Wood appeal, so even there they get by.

This is an unapologetic, old-school "B" movie of the type Jackson spoke of in interviews. Back in the old days, major stars would occasionally appear in films like this as a diversion, or for the same reason that Jackson appeared in this one. Because it's just plain FUN.

Too bad Christopher Walken didn't play the drug lord.

An Officer and a Gentleman (1982)

As bad as I'd always imagined....and then some

[1/10 · 21 October 2007]

Some gifts keep on giving...like rotting fish. To that extent, this film, perhaps the worst ever to win an Oscar, gives even to this day. Ever since the overplayed theme song ("up where we belong") demolished the airwaves in the summer of 1982, I have always imagined this film as sappy, lousy, a total "chick flick" and with a terribly unrealistic portrayal of our military. As it turned out, even those low expectations were not met, as this film is far worse. In fact, if you were to set out to make a bad movie, with a bad cast, bad cinematography, and a bad theme song, you'd be hard-pressed to "top" this.

No one factor makes this film bad, as you could remove any one item from the film and it would still stink. Zach Mayo (Richard Gere) isn't inspiring as a lead, nor is Gere, but Deborah Winger takes bad to a new level in this film as the extremely uninspiring, social-climbing girlfriend (who puts down a fellow social climber for doing the same thing). A few years ago Winger lamented on there not being roles for older female actresses, but perhaps those who were avoiding her merely saw her crapper of a performance in this film.

As is this were bad enough, we wind up stuck with Lou Gossett Jr. as an academy award winner for his phoned-in performance as the stereotypical drill instructor, a movie with no real plot that is driven by poor characters, and total pandering to the female side of the audience that drives the box office.

While not surprising that the movie was a hit, that doesn't improve its quality. Simpleminded moviegoers will love it, while those with an acquired taste for quality film will see right through it.

A must-miss, but if you are curious, check out this film for its train-wreck appeal.

Shaft (1971)

The "black style" of film-making is born

[10/10 · 13 October 2007]

In what is easily one of the most important films ever made, and an excellent film in its own right, Director Gordon Parks, who at the time, along with Ossie Davis and Melvin van Peebles were the only three well-known minority directors, brings the "black style" of film-making to the mainstream with Shaft, a crime-drama whose characters happened to be black.

What set Shaft apart was that the film was shot by black people, and for a primarily black audience, where whites were treated only as welcome guests of the action. The characters, most notably Shaft (Richard Roundtree), could easily have been written as whites, but since they were written as black, they did not "act white." The film was a forerunner to what is now commonplace on networks like UPN, where shows like Martin present African-American culture much the way shows like Barney Miller did with white culture.

The theme song, historic itself, sent this film over the top in the best way possible. We all want to be Shaft at least once in our lives.

Candid Camera (1953– )

When it's least expected.....The ORIGINAL Reality Show!

[10/10 · 3 October 2007]

Sunday evenings were always hilarious in the 1970s when Candid Camera, starring Allen Funt, would bring us a few staged slices of life which ironically were more real than the "reality" fare we get today. Televised, often juvenile, pranks which preyed on social convention as much as the people forced to play along just in case it wasn't a joke, made for great, low-budget television.

Funt was a man clearly ahead of his time, and no doubt that the millions of YouTubers today were influneced more by Funt's work than anyone else. The concept of the show will always work, but Funt had a way of working it better than the others. His pranks were elaborate, with a touch of realism that made them successful and funny at the same time.

Also a great theme song (the 1970s version).

Mr. Holland's Opus (1995)

Bloom County's Opus was far more impressive

[1/10 · 2 October 2007]

How dare this film soil the name of Opus, the great cartoon penguin from Bloom County, who is quoted to this day. That Opus lived his dream, knew who he was, and left his unique mark on life. Mr. Holland's "Opus," by comparison, only confirmed his invisibility and historical irrelevance. We are to think that Mr. Holland (Richard Dreyfuss) is one of life's unsung heroes for changing the lives of young people through music, but he is merely unsung, a man of little achievement who does little more than feed our tax coffers while doing what those who cannot do, do: teach.

Dreyfuss, who owes most of his carer to the overrated The Goodbye Girl (1977), tries, and fails yet again, to deliver an Oscar-worthy performance. Had he won for this performance, I would have lobbied stronger for making one actor a year give the award back.

Here we get the story of a touring musician who settles into a teaching job for financial stability, and so he can compose music in his spare time, only to learn that teaching is fulfilling all its own. On the other hand, we don't see successful musicians or composers giving up their lives for teaching, so the entire premise is flawed. This guy is not a success, and is simply making the most out of failure, while the children he "inspires" are making the most out of their indentured servitude in the education system. The supporting cast, which includes the equally overrated Olympia Dukakis as the principal, makes this one of the worst big-budget films of all time.

Not only do I recommend not watching it, but also disowning anyone who ever decides to play it when you have no choice but to watch it (such as if you are stuck at a friend's house and can't jump out the window to avoid it). If you must watch this film, please set your sights higher than the loser of a lead character did, and don't ever convince yourself you are so happy with so little.

The Bronx Is Burning (2007)

Summer camp come to life on screen

[10/10 · 27 September 2007]

Baseball is summer camp for adults, especially those who play, manage, and own. I'm referring, however, to the summer of 1977, which I spent at camp in Connecticut, with a camp population equally split between children from New York, Boston, and Baltimore, baseball's answer to the 1944 Carter Handicap at Aqueduct, which ended in a triple dead-heat for win. One was threatened in the AL East this summer, where a fire in the south Bronx during a Yankee game led Howard Cosell to inform the world: "Ladies and gentlemen, the Bronx is burning." The fire, though contained to an empty warehouse, was symbolic of the plight of New York City and the south Bronx in 1977, as well as the turmoil of the Yankees first captured in "The Bronx Zoo" by Sparky Lyle, a far better treatment of this team from the point of view of its star relief pitcher.

At camp, we were glued to the radio most of the time, and to the television in the dining hall, whenever any of the three contenders were playing. We'd get Sports Illustrated each week to tell us what had happened, and This Week In Baseball was actually a current events show. With no wildcard to spoil the mix, the divisional race was hotly contested, and only one team would escape with the title. At camp, we would leave at the end of August, taunting the kids from the other cities that our team was going to win. That the Yankees won for me was little consolation, as they slipped 14.5 games behind the Red Sox in 1978, although by the time camp ended the lead was down to 7 and the kids from Boston were getting nervous.

The Bronx Is Burning deals primarily with how Reggie Jackson changed and strengthened the Yankees, despite the turmoil, and how George Steinbrenner turned the club owner into a utility position. Steinbrenner has proved many times over that pennants cannot be bought, so the 1977-78 Yankees were indeed special. They won because of Reggie, with an all-time dramatic climax that lived up to and then exceeded the hype, and gave Yankee fans a taste of days gone by, something that would not be repeated for a lot longer than people ever dreamed possible. By 1980, Reggie had aged, though he hit 41 home runs, including his 400th after a seven-day drought (which I waited for many times before missing the night he hit it), but George Brett and the Royals had knocked the Yankees into the history books as a memory of what you saw on this show.

The cast was lousy, especially Oliver Platt as Steinbrenner. "Reggie" (Daniel Sunjata) looked like an inflatable Reggie doll that had been deflated, and John Tuturro put a little too much Herbie Stempel into his Billy Martin, playing him almost as if he had Tourette's. Surprsingly good were Joe Grifasi as Yogi Berra, and Loren Dean as the ultra-forgettable backup catcher Fran Healy (who would later take over for Thurman Munson when Munson died suddenly in a plane crash in 1979), who plays a pivotal role as Reggie Jackson's consigliore. Healy is the only player with so little at stake on the field that he can tell Reggie to "suck it up" when benched in the last playoff game, and the only one Jackson would listen to. Reggie respected Healy but knew he couldn't be like him, just as Healy knew the opposite. This friendship could and should have been explored in much greater detail.

Since ESPN produced the series, it was historically accurate, down to the postgame quote by Steinbrenner that he was "not gonna touch" the Yankees the following year (he fired Martin in the middle of 1978 only to rehire him for 1980). The 1978 story was almost as fascinating and would make a decent sequel, but it is unclear if ESPN will be revisiting this story. Those Yankees had to deal with a runaway Red Sox juggernaut that began to falter late in the year, and visited New York for one of the greatest slaughters in the history of sports.

This series will bring history to life in an entertaining way, and had it been fiction, the ending would have been called predictable, boring, and unrealistic.

If you're young, you'll definitely know why your dad speaks so highly of Reggie Jackson.

Ruffian (2007 TV Movie)

The battle of the sexes turns tragic

[8/10 · 25 September 2007]

The 1970s were the height of the battle of the sexes. Men and women were in open combat, anywhere and everywhere: tennis (Riggs vs. King), the voting booth (ERA), and, on July 6, 1975, Belmont Park, when the undefeated Ruffian was sent off at 1-20 odds (you had to lay 20-1 odds on her) to defeat the Kentucky Derby winner, Foolish Pleasure, mediocre in comparison to Ruffian.

Period pieces are not easy to shoot, since they are done from memory and historical records. I was alive and following the New York tracks as a youth, and became aware of Ruffian in the spring of 1975, after she had blazed her way onto the front pages as a legitimate Kentucky Derby threat. Today, she would have run for the roses without a second thought, but her owners were old-school and gave it not a second thought.

This film captures the phenomenon that was Ruffian, from promising ace-in-the-barn that her trainer knew would win her debut at 4-1, but not by 15 lengths in 1:09. No matter how good they look in training, you never know what's going to happen when they actually run. Ruffian answered every question asked of her, even winning when slightly injured, finding the heart to put away her strong-but-weaker peers.

Ruffian was a freight train, and while the details of the film were glossed over, this was a TV film and that is often the case. Watch "Babe Ruth" from 1991 (TV) and "The Babe" from 1992 (Feature Film) for simimlar disparity. Indeed, you could also read the "Seabiscuit" book from 1997, and find it much richer than its paperback predecessor, "Come On, Seabiscuit!" from 1975.

This was the discount version of the Ruffian story. The big-budget treatment she may one day get awaits.

Ruffian was the first horse ever buried in the infield at Belmont Park. That is how special she was. She died of a broken leg because horses like her cannot live even long enough to recover on one, as they are simply born to run, her like no other.

Two for the Money (2005)

The lock of the year for the sports betting fan

[10/10 · 15 September 2007]

We all know the sales pitches: some guy with a 900 number tells you he's hitting 82 percent on the year, and you can have his picks for this weekend for one "low" price (compared to what you win!). He'll even give you a free game to get you started, and if that game doesn't win, he'll call the guy he gave the other side to and sign him up instead.

Two For The Money sanitized the sports **touting** industry (what this film is really about), and it glorified, by portraying as successful, what is at best a guy who had a winning year or two, something bound to happen when your phone banks have fifty guys.

This film is based on a very true story, with the names and backstories only slightly changed. The "quarterback" Brandon Lang (Matthew McConaughy) is based on someone certainly never known much as one, but who may have played the game. Not that this matters, as your tout customers don't care about your life story, only if you can win for them, and Lang delivers through his Vegas-based 900 number.

New York tout king Walter Abrams, played in deliciously over-the-top fashion by Al Pacino, brings the over-the-top nature of the industry to life, not only the touts who make misleading claims (13-2 the last 15 means nothing and they don't tell you about the 2-13), but also the customers who demand the moon of guaranteed riches for a small fee. Renee Russo (Toni) gives her usually lame performance, like a double-digit NFL favorite mailing in a last-minute field goal to win.

As a "public handicapper" (I do horses and I make no guarantees), I quickly found the film engaging, particularly its correct focus on how Lang handles the pressure of risking other people's money through his picks. Scam artist or not, any tout always wants his clients to win, because they will gladly pay him well and he'll know he's earned it. It's when the bad times come that the tout's world becomes a living hell, knowing he just sent his followers into the poorhouse, even though that's because they were risking too much to begin with.

The other theme in the film is how Walter Abrams is always looking ahead to next Sunday as if he were just dropped out of the womb and nothing bad had ever happened to him. He knows that even the guys who curse him out will send him money again, and he will win again, sometimes, someday, hopefully, and at 1;00 every Sunday in the fall, the circus will start anew with him front and center, his business acumen saving him from his darker and more expensive urges. Sure, he's living on the edge, but he wouldn't have it any other way, because more than anything else, Walter Abrams was addicted to the thrills, while Brandon Lang was just looking for a job. The contrast is phenomenal and striking.

Man of the Year (2006)

Over-the-top, obviously fictional, and fun

[6/10 · 1 September 2007]

How do you know your president is fictional? He passes a law guaranteeing everyone a job (Dave); he's popular among both parties (The American President); he kicks terrorists off a plane (Air Force One); he teams up with his Republican/Democratic archrival on a third-party ticket after someone spends all movie trying to kill them (My Fellow Americans); he ignores Global Warming despite liberal nagging (The Day After Tomorrow); he almost causes an asteroid to hit earth due to lack of faith in an oil-driller astronaut (Armageddon); he gives a life-affirming speech after millions die due to a smaller Asteroid (Deep Impact); or he's just busy fighting off the aliens (Independence Day; Scary Movie 3-4).

In this fictional turn, we get Robin Williams as A Jon Stewart type who launches a populist campaign....and wins. The story begins there. The script is over-the-top, as is the acting, and the characters are stereotypical. Voters want change, and when the voter wants it, the change appears in the form of talk-show host "Comedian Tom Dobbs." Not expecting to win, Dobbs lampoons the usual suspects, reveals his sordid past (some of which is sordid), and asks us, the audience, perpetually, as in every six or eight seconds, if we should be more tolerant of politicians who are like us. He wants change! We get change, but only as a plot device to showcase the evils of electronic voting, and how even when no one intends to steal an election, self-interest causes the same coverups due to stock price rather than a black-ops team like Nixon had. Dobbs is the solution, and if you don't laugh along and agree along like Bill Maher wants you to, well you're just out of the loop. Look at all those people laughing! The best part of the movie was the end, when Dobbs truly comes of age, a changed and improved man from his Washington experience. Christopher Walken as the dying campaign manager was brilliant, and the rest of the cast wasn't bad. Laura Linney gave a creepiness to her role that would have been difficult to duplicate.

The Pursuit of Happyness (2006)

Message to our children: First, DO NOT SNITCH

[10/10 · 24 August 2007]

I give the film 10 out of 10 stars because it drives home the don't-snitch message currently sweeping our ghettos in a way few films ever could. I can't think of a better actor than Will Smith to deliver this message either, because his existence is testimony to the fact that it's not who you know or what you know, but how you look. This film has everything: a male eye-candy actor delivering a powerful, phantom message to a receptive audience that loves those who tell it what it wants to hear.

Charles Gardner is living proof that if you don't rock the boat, don't rat out those who break the law, and are an activist on issues that have no true opposition (who is in favor of poverty?), you'll be revered for taking a nonexistent stand, and rewarded for being a useful pawn of the powerful and corrupt. Watching this film, you'd think racism and sexual harassment were historical artifacts, and that the reason whistleblowers have little or nothing to fear is that there simply are no more whistles to blow because the world is now a happy place where everyone does the right thing.

The fact is, had Gardner ever become a true whistleblower, ever compalined about the massive sexual harassment in the culture that made him rich, ever complained (as in filed suit over) racial disparity, or ever blown a whistle on any dishonest people in his industry, his success story never would have been told because it never would have happened, as his career would have stopped on a dime. It's not like he or anyone else who climbs the Wall Street ladder doesn't know this; after all, someone with mouths to feed can't go around getting themselves fired for doing the right thing or standing up to evil. Better to just play along, cash in by being silent, and then leave those who fight the system to starve so that eventually they'll shut up. There is nothing wrong with what Gardner did in bettering his life, but there was nothing right with it either. Right would have required far more. You didn't see Martin Luther King cashing in on government contracts instead of protest marching, but I guess in this day and age all problems are solved and there is nothing left to protest, so it's all good.

As a white male who has confronted racists and sexual harassers in the workplace, and wound up blacklisted in retaliation by many of the same people that both Gardner and Smith call friends and do business with themselves, I cannot begin to explain the awful place God must have reserved for these two who dare to attach morality to their greed and career opportunism, as if them getting rich by rewarding don't-snitch behavior somehow meant that the world were suddenly a better place. I suppose when one is wealthy, they have to downplay injustice and their own cowardice in refusing to fight, because otherwise they might actually have to pitch in, offend the corrupt, and actually fight for something.

Will Smith and Charles Gardner are nothing more than wealthy cowards, men whose mark on this world will not include any victories over our true evils, but rather a messge from them, through this movie, that your problems are your own doing, including any problems that may have been caused by you being too stupid to realize that in this society, to get ahead, you must not nnitch, for even if you are homeless and shirtless, and with far less skills than any fired whistleblower, Wall Street will hire you as long as it does not consider you a threat to rat them out.

I can almost picture Will Smith arrogantly pontificating in Oprah's chair again like he once did when he toyed with the idea of becoming President one day, speaking of "haters" and how "negative" it is to point out things like this, yet to folks like Martin Luther King, the negative people were the ones who stood down in the face of injustice and stood on the sidelines because it was simply more profitable to do so.

Like it or not, when it comes to standing up against racism, I am blacker than Gardner or Smith will ever be, but that is also why I am not richer. I am viewed as a traitor to my own race, which didn't surprise me, but that the race I "betrayed" my own race to help didn't seem to want that help, did. It was then that I realized that Black is a state of mind, not a skin color.

Wonderama (1955–1987)

Kids are people too!!

[10/10 · 23 August 2007]

What kid would change the channel after hearing that signature line? Wonderama, produced mere blocks from my home every Sunday, was a staple of television back in the day when there weren't so many staples in the stapler.

After all this time, it is still true that they may be young, and not full grown, but our kids have problems of their own, although some of them for the ones in my generation were probably caused by all those sugar-laden goodies they used to give away at the end of the show.

Would they need a metal detector outside the studio if they did the show today?

Just Like Heaven (2005)

Another B+ for the writer

[8/10 · 7 August 2007]

If by chance you follow writers and producers as close as actors, you'll figure out what you need to know about "Just Like Heaven" before you tune in. Writer Peter Tolan, formerly of Murphy Brown, and currently of Rescue Me, spits out yet another good film as if he has them stored in a bottomless pit. If he weren't so good at what he does, one might get bored with the formula, but because he is good, what would be repetitive tripe in the hands of a less competent writer manages to become a series of pleasant signatures.

This film is no exception to the rule governing Tolan's films, and therein lies its only real "flaw": it is not an exceptional film, with "exceptional" defined as Oscar-worthy. With this film out of the way, and Rescue Me gaining massive critical acclaim, a Best Original Screenplay Oscar lies in Mr. Tolan's future as soon as he and the correct project connect. His resume already includes strong films such as My Fellow Americans, America's Sweethearts, and Analyze This, along with slightly lesser efforts such as Stealing Harvard and his new one with the gambling theme, and Just Like Heaven is a positive addition to that resume.

Having conquered the popular movie genre decisively with this film, all that sits between Tolan and award glory is a direct confrontation with a hot-button issue in his signature style, which includes intelligent, competent actors performing as an ensemble, albeit a stereotypical one, characters you can not only relate to, but swear were based on people you either knew or came across, dialogue you might actually hear in the real world, and a general morality that prohibits direct harm against one's fellow humans, but permits or even cherishes human nature, greed, and opportunity, with a hint of idealism that seems to represent Tolan's cynicism regarding the LA culture in which he participates, and the injection of fantasy that reminds us that utopia will always be just beyond our reach.

Tolan's writing depth is horribly wasted on a film like this, but the result nonetheless is a good film that knows its purpose and limitations, and keeps to task and plot throughout a very entertaining cinematic ride. Mark Ruffalo and Reese Witherspoon reprise versions of their characters from almost a half-dozen of each of their previous films, cementing their legacy as this generation's Tom Hanks and Meg Ryan. The film moves along at the right pace, never loses sight of the plot, and puts the "couple" of Ruffalo's character and the comatose doctor whose spirit he is chasing through the necessary obstacles before they reach that defining moment which resolves their romantic tension. I won't spill the ending, but you might figure it out somewhere along the way.

Anyone who studies film-making would do well to watch this film not only as an excellent example of the fantasy genre, as Tolan (and his partner, Leslie Dixon, lest I forget her) takes the ball of the two supernatural events in the film and runs with it for a touchdown, but also an example of professional film-making, from writing, to acting, and cinematography, to the final edit. This film is put together exactly as a good film should be. With little or nothing left to conquer in this area, the head writer should be poised to take his game to the next level. Until then, I'll be tuning into this one many times on cable, I'm sure. I've already seen it three, I think.

Good film.

The Devil Wears Prada (2006)

The Devil Can't Act

[1/10 · 8 July 2007]

Films like this, and the people who star in them, should thank their lucky stars someone invented the term "hater." The word is a get-out-of-jail free card to anyone who wants to walk over others and not have their victory party interrupted by the noise of those they trampled upon. Like few other films could, this film exposes the hypocrisy not in the fashion industry, but Hollywood itself. It also proves, convincingly, that Meryl Streep is the most overrated actress in the history of the civilized world.

Ask Anne Hathaway to do a nude scene, and she'd likely refuse. If she wouldn't, most actresses on her level would refuse. Ask her (or Streep) to play a role that sends the wrong political message about women (say a movie about how to sexually harass women in your office and not get caught), and she might get up on a soapbox and refuse it. After all, actors are such role models, and their films leave such an impression on their audiences. Just ask Geena Davis, who was thrilled to be playing the nation's first female president. Strong, independent women on film send a great message, and the actresses who play them love being the messenger.

When you can call everyone you oppress a "hater," you can marginalize their statements as sour grapes. You can even call them a hater if they fail to be as happy and enthusiastic about your success as you are, even if yours came at the expense of theirs.

That said, would Hathaway revel in the role of a young legal secretary praying she's pretty enough to be hired and dismissing the concerns of the older women she displaced? Is Streep proud that the 20-minute lunch she assigned her assistants violates NY state labor law? Does she like gender discrimination? I guess so, because we all know that actresses won't do things on film if they don't approve of the political message.

Ever wonder why young Hollywood actresses are always smiling so much? Aside from needing to send a biological signal that they just might be ready to have sex (gets them ahead), they are happy because they get paid six or seven figures to play around with these "important political messages." While they are doing this, and while movies like this are being made, the stories that really need to be told -- the ones about the people left in the wake of narcissistic dimwits like the leads -- are not, because the "devils" in Hollywood don't want that story told, and they don't hire those who can tell it. Instead, they hire the Emilys and Andies of the world, and in the course of mistreating them, destroy the careers of those who never get in their door because they aren't that slither of the population that is young, female, and attractive. Streep was nothing more than a glorified housemom in this film.

Hathaway's "struggling" young adult female in New York City is about as unrealistic character as exists. A fat girl who grows up in Manhattan without family money will find herself boxed out of the job market by Andie, while a space has been reserved for Andie all along, by the powerful men who want her socializing near them and working for them. To her credit, Hathaway is not one of those young women herself, in that she did not capitalize on gender bias at regular jobs to keep her in the big city long enough to sleep her way to the top. She's acted all her life and is also a Soprano, i.e., a real performing artist. Her performance may stink theatrically, but politically she's the cleanest of the film.

Streep's character, Miranda Pristley, must have felt like she was in a kennel with all the scenery being chewed by Streep, whose into-the-wall performance smacked of litte more than her industry-induced narcissism that her "loo droppings" don't stink. Streep has to be the most annoying actress on- and off-screen of this era. Her character in Defending Your Life is a caricature of the undeserved pedestal the public has placed her on throughout her fourteen Oscar nominations. Those who think Barney is the Devil have good reason, but they're wrong, because Streep is a lot closer than he'll ever be. She takes her paychecks and glory from an industry her characters lampoon. This is like when the media complains about political spending in shows sponsored by high-priced political advertising. Hypocritical.

The film is simple enough: Fashion magazine, queen-bee boss (Streep) hires naive assistant (Hathaway), who barely escapes the sharks before becoming one, proves she can survive, and then wonders if she wants the fruits of her struggle. Stereotype the world and present racist, sexist backdrops (did Manhattan turn into South Africa?) without commentary, while pretending to make a meaningful political statement.

Message to the people in this film: there are no wealthy victims in this world, and there are no wealthy activists. Lip service changes nothing, but putting injustice on film for "realism" without showing its ugliness or sparking its eradication is nothing more than profiteering and enabling. But don't worry, anyone who points this out must be a "hater." Pristley is Streep's better half, because she's honest about what she is and what she does.