earnestjk Reviews

Rose Red (2002)

Going and going, but exactly where??

[6/10 · 19 February 2005]

Rose red is a curiously flat horror where a group of 'psychics' goes into said haunted house. I have not read Steven King's novel (by the way he appears in the movie as a pizza boy, unnecessary but amusing role) so I can't comment on how close this adaptation is to his novel, but my guess he had a big influence, as it is 4-hours long, but there is scarcely nothing in the story that a good 2 hour movie couldn't have told.

Now there is a new twist of the genre that it is not horny teenagers or bumbling strangers invited to the house, but a group of 'professional' psychics, who impressed me with their stunning stupidity. Hint: if the house is haunted and you know it's haunted, please don't wander around the house investigating strange noises by yourself.

The movie contains a lot of 'lost and screaming' scenes. You may ask what a 'lost and screaming' scene is - well it's where a character or two decide to separate themselves from the rest of the group for no good reasons (one character wanted to get some ice tea by herself), and see some freakish ghosts then run around the house screaming.

Each 'lost and screaming' scene takes about 10 minutes (a lot of screaming and panting etc) - and I counted it happen about 10 times during the movie, thus explaining the four hour unnecessary running time. 'Is that you?' being the most frequently spoken words.

Initially I had high hopes for this movie, I'd imagined it might be like 'Scream' in a haunted house where characters know all the tricks and trades of the genre and make smart decision. But alas, they make Tara Reid look reasonably smart.

I don't know how much it cost to make this movie, but technically the movie looks beautiful. Computer generated scenes look on par with any other theatrical horror. The haunted house looks mightily impressive, its long-arched corridors and obligatory mirror room, etc. Production designers really did their homework and ran with a ball.

I know Steven King likes a mini series because he can put more characterization but in Rose Red characters are cardboard cut-outs, clichéd and uninteresting. Only two characters stand out, though, were a wise cracking Nick by Julian Sands and a slightly overweight Emery played by Matt Ross. Consider the scene where Emery sees a couple of ghosts even before visiting the house and he tersely says 'Save the warning for someone who is not broke!' What a great line.

But mostly the rest of the cast is hopelessly boring and by the end of the movie we really know nothing much about them. The movie wastes so much time in 'lost and screaming' scenes and flashbacks to the history of Rose Red, so much so you may think it's a documentary.

First hour is intriguing but soon as the movie hits 2 hour mark, you realize that there is no rule or logic that we can possibly understand in the way the house behaves, you care what happens less and less. Good horror movies set rules and follow them, so the audience understand and value the choices the characters make, but Rose Red has no rule, only the contrived convenience of the screenplay.

Quite disappointing really - isn't it time we come up with some intelligent haunted house movies where characters say 'Maybe we should get some ice tea together.'

Oldboy (2003)

Pure cinema.

[9/10 · 9 February 2005]

Even though I see where people are coming from, it's still amusing to see people complain about Oldboy being violent - Violence & torture has been widely discussed ever since the release of the movie. Every single review that Oldboy has ever got, made points about it. If you turn your clock and back to 1990 and read back the reviews for Pulp Fiction. You will find EXACTLY identical criticism - ugly, needless, pointless violence - do we really need a rape scene in a movie? Oldboy, just like Pulp Fiction before it, is a divisive entertainment. It does not celebrate the greatness of mankind and pats on our shoulder for watching it to the end, saying 'well done, see how great we all can be' kinda attitude. Instead it punches, gnaws and knocks you over until you are thoroughly battered and bleeding to the core. Some people love it or some hate it. No two ways about it.

And I'm firmly in the side of 'loving' it. When I watched it for the first time, I felt repulsed and shocked. Didn't quite know what to think, but I couldn't forget. Two days I found myself wanting to watch the DVD again. After watching it for the fifth time, I slowly realized it has that 'magic' quality, that something special which will last in memories of many, for years to come.

Style, music, acting and color. Oldboy is a supernova of all these, mixed into highly charged adrenaline pumping, kicking your gut, like entertainment. Even if you hated this movie, you won't be able to tear your eyes away from it, because Oldboy has the hypnotic quality like a sweet nightmare.

Oldboy will stand the test of time because it's a pure cinema of awesome quality, and if you can stand the heat, it's a movie to kick your head spinning and two days later you would be ready to be kicked once more.

Dark Water (2002)

Tragic story of loneliness and abandonment

[9 November 2004]

My theory of why I responded so strongly with Dark Water is that it's about people that you can relate to. It isn't about a cop who searches for the serial killer leaving cryptic puzzles, nor a lawyer who defends a crazy murderer who may not be the real killer, etc. It's about a single mother who's on the verge of losing one thing she cares for the most - her daughter.

She has to go for job interviews, she has to find a place to live with little money, and she has to see a divorce lawyer to fend off her rather nasty (yet not unreasonable) husband. Life's tough for Yoshimi, and who could not identify with her? I certainly did, and maybe it's the main reason why the movie worked on me so well.

I sympathised her character and her predicament. I cared for her choice. I kept thinking, 'God, please give this poor woman a break.', but as every good movie must, problems keep piling up on her already over-burdened shoulder, and the ghost haunting that old, damp apartment doesn't help her situation.

As many other reviewers mentioned, this is not all that scary. If you are looking for pure Asian horror to scare you s***less, this isn't it. But on some level it worked on me better than, say, Grudge, because the characters inhabit this picture felt real. Natural performances from the little girl were just amazing (except a couple of spots where her acting was just little off), but overall I totally bought her character.

When she says she needs no one but her mother, I felt a tingle of sensation in my eyes - I wanted them to be together as their love seemed so real. Hitomi Kuroki, playing the motehr, nicely underplays her role - she is polite and tries so hard to pull her life together against overwhelming odds. She is the center of this picture in every single sense.

Also consider the characters in Dark Water, they are all firmly grounded on reality. The divorce lawyer for example, when she tells him that she sees a ghost, he calmly examines the apartment and offers the most reasonable advice that any lawyer would give. Even the husband, while nasty, never oversteps the line of a villain. He after all does care for the welfare of the little girl, and concerns that she sometimes doesn't pick up the child in time.

This is a sad, tragic drama that deals with the souls of the children abandoned and lost by their parents. When that yellow flashback plays on the screen, I felt more pity than horror, so much so the last scene where Yoshimi held up that dead child, maybe it all made sense.

Ending perhaps was little weak - maybe because I cared so much about Yoshimi and her daughter, I just wanted them to be happy and together. Not like this. All great movies regardless their genre constructs human drama as its core. While this may not be a great movie, but a damned fine human drama with a streak of horror this is.

The Crop (2004)

movie that only the mother could love ....

[1 September 2004]

A friend gave me a free ticket to this movie so I went out and watched it. I've been saying how recent Australian movies are so mediocre, but the Crop misses even this modest mark by a fair margin - this has to be one of the worst theatrical releases I've seen in many good years.

There are so many things that are so wrong with this picture - it would be better to discuss about what went right, which incidentally isn't a lot. The movie opens up with a scene at a strip club in 80's, which is completely convincing to those people who have never been to one. I swear the place was lit so bright I thought it was an office party.

And then there is this voice-over telling you exactly the thing we are seeing. Why is the voice over necessary in this scene? Movies like 'Fight Club' or 'About a Boy', voice-over is used to create biting remarks that compliment what we see on the screen. It adds something additional. But in here, it's as dull as 'I own a strip club' - well, sir I see already that you do, you don't need to tell me that.

First scene wasn't a good omen, but I held out, but my hope was quickly dashed by the 'acting' skill of the main character Blade played by Writer George Elliot. Funny how the other movie character called Blade was so cool. He is so miscast in every conceivable way that it was almost surreal how bad he was. I have seen scores of school movies where actors work for free who were better than this guy.

Despite being the writer, George Elliot doesn't seem to realize that he is in a comedy piece. He comes off so stilted and so wooden, there was not even a single laughter in the entire cinema for the entire duration. Not even a small chuckle. People might have mistaken we were seeing Requiem for a Dream.

Other supporting characters get off lighter. Main female role, pretty Holly Brisley, might make a good Ralph girl but she is not, by a substantial margin, the right actor for the role. Above supplying pretty bad acting, she looks 20 and he looks 50 - well, it happens all the time, but the movie should have explore and explain little more about what this apparent age gap does to this relationship.

And there is this really, really annoying female character that I wanted to strangle myself - when you watch the movie you will know who I'm talking about here. So offensively annoying in every manner, in every scene, I wonder she had some personal retribution against people seeing this movie. Seeing her is like Chinese water torture.

Rhys Muldoon plays the best of Blade, and you can tell he is a good actor who just needs a good role, but even Edward Norton couldn't have saved this role.

Then there is the heart of the problem - the script. Problems should have been obvious from get-go, I can't imagine the producers couldn't see them at the development stage. I am not even complaining about the clichéd 'underdog vs system' theme, nor am I bitching about its so painfully dumb and obvious plot. I'm talking about its dialogue. Look, I don't expect Quentin Tarantino here, but please, pleeeaaase, have someone go through the script so it doesn't sound like a script written by some high school kid inspired by a few mildly entertaining episodes of Neighbors.

I think it all comes down to the damaging ego of George Elliot. If he was any smarter he would have cast Rhys Muldoon as its main character - and himself as the friend. It's obvious that George Elliot wielded too much power that blinded him from listening to common sense. But some people need to learn in hard ways.